what makes you feel more understood?
I'm curious - what makes you feel more understood/on the same page when communicating with colleagues and friends not from your quadra - same leading IE or same cognitive style?
From my exp: - same CS with different IEs, you arrive at the same conclusion but you can't talk freely to the other person. You can't create a bond between each other, you may try especially because the conclusions he gets seems he'd be a very interesting conversation partner. Unfortunately you don't speak the same language. His jokes which are non offensive to him are offensive to you and your non offensive jokes are offensive to him.
- same IEs, different CS, you easily create a bond, you talk about things that interest you both. Your thinking processes is likely the same, your conclusions may differ (no shit). Overall a lot better than the upper mentionned interaction because you can "freely" express yourself.
I feel more understood by the same IEs than CS. Now, little issue, since you use the "same" methodes to get there with the IE guy you end up doing the same mistakes which are not spotted by each other. With same CS, you have two different POV to get to the same point, IMO it's a lot more robust.
What I advise is to work with the same CS guy at a distance, let someone else do the talking part, and your result will be very good.
@Mega, I wasn't asking for advice regarding guys. I was actually curious of other people's experiences and the words "with colleagues and friends" were key here. Thank you for your intention to help me out though.
Personally, I find it's possible to find a way to interact with people regardless IE or CS, it just takes time to figure out where the minefield is... Some of it is type-related in a way, I mean having a conversation with the supervisor (same cog style) is probably ever so slightly more stressfull when an EII is talking to SEE (extravert being the supervisor), than with an introvert supervising an extravert (athough it is also situational). And a lot depends on ntr stuff such as worldview and intentions.
(However I do just instinctively avoid ESIs irl most of the time, but that's another story and doesn't link with the OP, cause both cog style and IEs are different then. I can talk them down when I don't blow up right back, but it's tiring.)
But I'm really happy smn finally answered to this thread I was already thinking that maybe posting sth along the lines "oh, please, don't talk one over another" might finally get things going here.
similar life experiences, same taste in music/film, and a related perspective on life in general (kind of like same life mottos e.g. "They're in love. Fuck the war.” or “I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me.”)
so these are non-socionics related factors... and what would be your observation with regard to IEs and cog styles (as per OP)? Or do you find them less important/observable than the things you mentioned above?
Originally Posted by Sienna