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Thread: Semi-duality: why does it feel so good?

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    Default Semi-duality: why does it feel so good?

    I think in a raw/grounded/earthly way duality works much better but I just have to ask....

    why does semi-duality just feel so good? I have had some conflicts with SEEs before but generally it's like this intoxicating high. It's better than duality in a pure raw emotional way almost. Idk. I wonder how one-sided this feeling is, or if I am loving them a bit more then they are loving me but I don't care much. I am rationally aware of the SEE's stereotypical flaws, them being manipulative two-faced whores, them being shitty with Ti- them being diplomatic to the point of insanity, blah blah but still my heart just adores them so much.

    There really isn't anything TO DO with that love though, or doing things is kind of hard since we're both feelers and kinda just get lost in the water of it all.

    Could a logical type (or anybody) plz explain why this is happening? kthxbye.

    also SLE is just hot sex. It's hard to feel emotional with them. It works kind of practical and in the sex way. Like making babies and getting jobs etc. But you kinda always in the back of your mind wonder if a thinking type has a soul.

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    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    i thought duality was supposed to be both comfortable and not boring at the same time- that's why it's so hyped

    not that i'm all for duality. it can be super weird. but i don't think "it's boring" is a part of the deal- that would be due to having zero things in common, or instinct stackings, etc.
    There was no place that destruction did not touch...At best it made everything feel flooded, urgent, while pushing towards decay and exposing the imminent failure of managing to maintain a form at all. Inside this was the kernel of wholeness. She could be broken down into a small, granular piece, a bit of debris jostling against other bits of debris, and in that friction there was some sense of having a boundary or a presence, and that thing-ness of the self, reduced to a basic instinctive sensation, was an almost-nothing feeling that, in its small hard knot of a numb halo, made it clear to her that you were here, you were now.

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    Probably because their demonstrative is your creative and vice versa, it's easy to connect with them through this area. Demonstrative functions, being the end of the vital ring have a great deal of energy to burn off, and you basically become a receptacle for all that internal energy. This can be pretty intense, exciting.
    The same function is your dual's mobilizing, so rather than being a receptacle you're more like a battery charging them. What manifests externally from them is the change in their own demonstrative function, which is your POLR and which you are only weakly conscious of to begin with. But developing consciousness of your POLR is exactly what you need for psychological growth, and indeed, even outside of a relationship, this is what people tend to focus on over time. Duality isn't a good relationship because it's relaxing or whatever, it's good because it provides the ideal conditions for you to express and develop your POLR. This being the weakest point of the psyche, is ultimately responsible for the failure of every other function, likewise strengthening this function makes every other function more stable, more adapted to the demands of real life. Semi duals might actually be a better relationship from a purely social point of view, for the sake of enjoying each other's company, but duality is better for self growth.
    Last edited by ConcreteButterfly; 02-22-2015 at 11:58 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    I think in a raw/grounded/earthly way duality works much better but I just have to ask....

    why does semi-duality just feel so good? I have had some conflicts with SEEs before but generally it's like this intoxicating high. It's better than duality in a pure raw emotional way almost. Idk. I wonder how one-sided this feeling is, or if I am loving them a bit more then they are loving me but I don't care much. I am rationally aware of the SEE's stereotypical flaws, them being manipulative two-faced whores, them being shitty with Ti- them being diplomatic to the point of insanity, blah blah but still my heart just adores them so much.

    There really isn't anything TO DO with that love though, or doing things is kind of hard since we're both feelers and kinda just get lost in the water of it all.

    Could a logical type (or anybody) plz explain why this is happening? kthxbye.

    also SLE is just hot sex. It's hard to feel emotional with them. It works kind of practical and in the sex way. Like making babies and getting jobs etc. But you kinda always in the back of your mind wonder if a thinking type has a soul.
    Interesting, I have seen the same thing with semiduality... (ILI's for me)

    And wow your last sentence, no comment

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    Quote Originally Posted by ConcreteButterfly View Post
    Probably because their demonstrative is your creative and vice versa, it's easy to connect with them through this area. Demonstrative functions, being the end of the vital ring have a great deal of energy to burn off, and you basically become a receptacle for all that internal energy. This can be pretty intense, exciting.
    The same function is your dual's mobilizing, so rather than being a receptacle you're more like a battery charging them. What manifests externally from them is the change in their own demonstrative function, which is your POLR and which you are only weakly conscious of to begin with. But developing consciousness of your POLR is exactly what you need for psychological growth, and indeed, even outside of a relationship, this is what people tend to focus on over time. Duality isn't a good relationship because it's relaxing or whatever, it's good because it provides the ideal conditions for you to express and develop your POLR. This being the weakest point of the psyche, is ultimately responsible for the failure of every other function, likewise strengthening this function makes every other function more stable, more adapted to the demands of real life. Semi duals might actually be a better relationship from a purely social point of view, for the sake of enjoying each other's company, but duality is better for self growth.
    Where is this idea from about you needing to develop the PoLR? I've only seen mention of the opposite claim before. Say more about this?

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    You both validify the others demonstrative.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    You both validify the others demonstrative.
    Oh that makes sense from my perspective regarding ILIs. I didnt ask them how it is for them tho'

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    Semi-duality doesn't feel good to me. Duality is amazing in every way. The right dual is another question. Life usually messes people up so much so that a dual sometimes acts unlike a dual should. Take my example:

    Dual 1: Can't hold a relationship because they have had experiences that make them emotionally unstable towards relationships.
    Dual 2: Can hold a relationship because they know or have figured out that despite being or getting emotionally flustered their relationship is static, unchangeable.

    The emotional dual is not going to be comfortable with conflict while the other dual isn't going to let conflict ruin something that's so good in so many other ways and can talk about things. That's important being able to TALK. Once you're able to talk in duality you can solve so many problems. So many that are external to duality and can actually find that your dual is best fit with you.

    I hate to say move to dual number 2 because I feel so bad for dual 1, but you know what sometimes you have to recognize when too much isn't making you cared for.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 02-23-2015 at 07:43 AM.

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    @Maritsa Have all these duals you cite been the correct subtype? Have you ever dated a Si-LSE?





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    Quote Originally Posted by Waster View Post
    @Maritsa Have all these duals you cite been the correct subtype? Have you ever dated a Si-LSE?
    I love either LSE, Si or Te doesn't matter to me.

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    I do think duality involves a lot of self-growth. the other person sees you so much in all your flaws and accepts them.... but so far...I've only experienced the phase right after acceptance where you realize you both have to change a few minor things about yourselves in order to make the relationship more stable and less... intense. I've yet to be able to successfully get past this phase with a dual. It just ends because both are parties are burnt out from the intensity.

    I feel like other types challenge me in different ways. and I'm currently dating someone who is not in my quadra. It feeds my need for learning. However, I do not feel understood and I do not feel like I understand him or gets his jokes the way we both want. I miss duality. I miss someone understanding me fully and being addicted to my interactions with someone. but. eventually it's not enough. It always feels so fragile and utimately hard to hold on. I one day want to have a really solid relationship... (with a dual)... because being without one is lonely. but I don't trust it. nor will I search for it.
    just something I occasionally..long for.

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    It pretty much relates to your creative and mobilizing communication needs differences.
    SLIs won't give back to you in a way you want it. Instead they sometimes resort to Fi sentiments. Their intellectual curiosity does not go very deep when it comes to systems. One of them tested me for my Fi mistakes like: "Did you notice how they related to you when...?". This is where SEI gives much needed intervention. SLIs Fe needs some work out. It is like they are blind. Overall they are pretty cool.

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