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Thread: Depressed. Help?

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    Default Depressed. Help?

    Thanks for everything. You all are so great and I'm so thankful we were able to go over this. It was more important that you guys helped than it might have seemed.
    Last edited by Limitless; 07-21-2016 at 05:35 PM.

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    I think the best way to deal with depression is to focus on goals even if those are not ties to big picture and long term visions. Small goals like painting something, being a part of a meet up, going to a play. Something every day and small and while being open to opportunities. I find often times that the more a person or even a society concentrates on the lack of things to do the more they end up not doing anything. There's always so much to do. I hope you feel better.

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    Hi Limitless. I'm really sorry you are going through a difficult time.
    I just wanted to remind you that there is always light at the end of the tunnel...you may not see it there at the moment but it's there...I hope you don't have to wait too long before you find it again.

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    It's not the norm to post stuff like that here; these topics usually are discussed in the chatbox to avoid leaving a permanent record. But if you don't mind leaving a record, that's fine.

    Depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance. Are you getting enough sunlight?

    "I always daydream about how I’ll be all better one day and when I talk to people they’ll get this sense that I’m this strong, majestic, wonderful person who’s already understood life in its entirety and has dealt with all sorts of problems that no one really knows about."
    You want to be the wise old woman who knows all the answers because she's had all the experiences. That's a positive thing to want. I personally have not had many experiences that would make good stories. I've thought I was destined to have an uninteresting life. But whether I do or not, it seems that wisdom comes from learning from experiences, not from having the right experiences.
    One of my favorite Bible verses is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, which says "Rejoice always...in everything give thanks;" Be thankful for the unique experiences you've had: the good and the bad, the exciting and the boring. If you learn from them, they were not wasted. (And if you want wisdom, I suggest asking God for it and reading Proverbs, which was written by someone internationally known for his wisdom.)

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    you sound like you're going thru basic normal teenage struggle. the stryfe of young folk whose interests are mostly intellectual/artistic/grand, combined with little to no real life experience, makes for an anxious, social awkward dreamer.

    i kinda relate to some of what you're saying. when i was your age i was so experience hungry and felt that one day i would really live (because for some reason i didn't consider my then-existence "living") and i couldn't wait for then. i felt like at the rate my artistic skill improved with age, maybe one day i'll be a famous artist. on a conscious level i knew it was absurd, but i was never one to live the emotions of my conscious thoughts. instead i preferred to swim dreamily in my own head of the time when i'd one day live foreal, or be rich or have love or some other way all my problems and insecurities would be solved.

    in my opinion, there's 3 roads you can take here.

    1. you can catapult yourself into real shit situations and get hurt and grow and love and be free. the depression will, of course, come back. that's part of what you have to learn for yourself though... that there's no shortcut to happiness. it's fun as hell looking for one though and learning it first hand like that is a gift you'll cherish forever. plus all the drama you think is real now will become a joke. you're definitely a lot less anxious once you've been thru some hard times and survived them. almost like you have little left to fear

    2. do nothing. get stale and weird and be forever curious of what life could've been like. be safe and dry

    3. realize that happiness starts with yourself... not becoming famous or popular or whatever else you think you aspire to be. really tho, you're stuck in an ego trap. you're mistakenly identifying your Self with your personality. let go of who you think you are. simply love this being like he/she were just a complete stranger with a genuine smile. like someone you want to hold the door open for... treat your self with the same kindness that you'd give to that stranger. find new ways to treat him/her (you) right. maybe waking up and drinking a bunch of water and stretching a little. go outside and take deep breathes as your eyes greet the day. say thank you, for everything you've been given and every thing that's been taken away from you. if your mind starts racing with silly morning thoughts and fantasies, stay grounded. by focusing on your breath, or by literally touching the earth with your bare feet and feeling that sensation in immense detail. feel how alive you are. nature is the best anti-depressant that ever existed. start meditating. pretty soon when you are making art you'll be enjoying the process purely for what it is, rather than as a means for gain. because chasing that something is a never-ending game. you'll never find satisfaction on the outside, only within.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Limitless View Post
    I don’t know if it’s the “norm” to post stuff like this – probably not, but I don’t know since I don’t normally post here – but I’m really depressed… I’m tired of being alive and I need someone to tell this to. Usually, I’m able to keep myself preoccupied with schoolwork and typology, but today was a struggle. L
    It's not " the norm " to post this kind of stuff when you barely had a couple of posts and the members don't know you . Anyway it was mby positive for you to do that all of a sudden but as a way of not being a stranger anymore how about participating to other threads too ?? I liked the advice to show your art . Or if you want , post about artists you enjoy to keep your mind busy with . Create a context around you . If you don't care so much about your own art , what do you cre about then ??

    I don't struggle with depression in my life much . It happened once , many years ago , when my most basic beliefs about stuff were uprooted by some events and I experienced a sort of change to the core and deep disappointment followed by the slow discovery that I was clinging to some false ideas about life ( too much idealism can do harm ). But I sometimes struggle with apathy . To keep that away I try to find several 'tiny goals' , even if I don't want those things already as a part of me . I look for new things to want . I changed my diet not because it was so bad but because I wanted to feel I have the power to get to a more healthy life style and I'm not just floating on the unseen waves of life .

    For you I recommend that you travel a lot ( and how about writing about all that ? ), talk to people who can teach you something , give up on anyone who 's negative and stuff , keep perspective over yourself on a blog or in a diary and then try to add as much context about what happened and is happening in your life after you write . You can try changing what you don't like about yourself through pure point of view . I guess that's a form of self-aware living . Read a lot ... it keeps you busy and in contact with the minds of others . Don 't just let yourself drown your own feelings of depression . Sure it's great to be fed by our feelings but when they are mostly negative we should seek something better in others , I think.
    Last edited by Amber; 01-20-2015 at 01:39 PM.

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    I think that you can help yourself the most by being honest with your mom about how you are feeling. Even though you are trying not to burden her, which is a very kind motivation, she knows you and can tell something is wrong. She may be feeling confused and worried about you.

    She may be able to point you in the direction of getting help. At the very least, it could be a relief to you to share this burden with her.

    I'm not sure about your type. I will look forward to reading more posts from you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Limitless View Post
    My mom was the first one to ask me about it, and she wanted to take me into counseling, but I refused since I wanted her to think I was normal.
    I think you should reconsider your attitudes about therapy, especially if your mom is willing to be supportive. There are a range of techniques available in the treatment of depression, outside of traditional drug therapies (though I wouldn't rule medication out as an option). Don't let this terrible place (by that I mean the forum) be your last respite before giving up entirely. There's a ton of options still open to you in dealing with your pain, and right now is the most important time in your life to not just be enjoying yourself, but preparing for your future as well by doing well in school and getting good grades. Don't let depression rob you of great times and a bright future.
    Last edited by Kim; 01-20-2015 at 07:00 PM.

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    Hi, Limitless. It sounds like you're going through so much right now. As you move forward, trust that circumstances and your outlook on life can drastically change for the better. It may feel like depression is simply your way of life now, because you've suffered for so long, but total remission is within the scope of reality. Or if you don't believe that, at least have faith that you can achieve significant reduction in symptoms.

    I am concerned about your social support network, as you mentioned an important friendship that dissolved. Do you have other (potential) friends, or siblings, with whom you can share mutual interests more often? You don't necessarily need to jump right into the deep stuff with people; for now, you can focus on shared activities, or even think about joining a group within your community.

    You discussed not wanting to burden your mother with any of your problems, which is sweet, but I think that the detriment to your mental health in not telling her far outweighs any hardship that she may experience in knowing about your condition. If she truly is reasonable, as you say, I can only imagine that she would want you to feel comfortable in freely communicating with her.

    Talking to your mom would probably make her consider additional therapy and antidepressants, which I know doesn't sound fun, but she would be totally right in her assessment. Study after study shows that therapy in addition to antidepressants leads to higher recovery rates than antidepressants alone. You should be seeing a psychiatrist who can adjust your current antidepressant, or put you on a new one entirely, as you should not have to suffer with side effects. There are many types of therapy and medications, and I presume you've only scratched the surface.

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    I did not tell my mom about my depression/anxiety for years because I did not want her to be worried and because I felt she was already going through a lot with my sister's anxiety. Eventually I told her and I know she would have wanted me to tell her sooner. I thought that it would add more struggle to her life, but in reality it would have helped her understand what my sister went through (and helped my sister realize she is not alone). We now speak openly about depression, anxiety, medication, etc. and our relationships are much better because family dynamics make so much more sense.

    So I think you should talk to your mom. There is so much more to try that might help.
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    This is an absolutely worthless post and you have no place in this thread
    I know it’s probably unnecessary and sort of bothersome, especially since everyone hardly knows me. Sorry! When I wrote this last night, I went back in forth in my mind questioning, ‘should I post it?’ But I had it all written and I was hoping someone would have some thoughts. I guess I probably shouldn’t have. It also just helps though knowing other people have read it (That probably sounds selfish but I think we really need each other a lot more than we realize) Especially, the article from @Bluebird is encouraging.
    The *worthless post* was in reference to a troll post that I deleted. It was not directed at you.
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    Focus your energy on making those closest to you happier. Unintuitively, focusing on others does wonders for your own happiness, even if only to get you out of thinking about yourself.

    But as Lotus said above, Youll soon realize the things that get you down as a teenager, will seem like a joke to you as you grow into an adult.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Limitless View Post
    I know it’s probably unnecessary and sort of bothersome, especially since everyone hardly knows me. Sorry! When I wrote this last night, I went back in forth in my mind questioning, ‘should I post it?’ But I had it all written and I was hoping someone would have some thoughts. I guess I probably shouldn’t have. It also just helps though knowing other people have read it (That probably sounds selfish but I think we really need each other a lot more than we realize) Especially, the article from @Bluebird is encouraging.
    Oh shit, that comment about being worthlessness was not directed at you at all. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you're worthless. Quite the opposite, actually.

    It takes a lot of courage, even on an anonymous message board, to spill your heart out like the way you did and admit that something is wrong. Not a lot of people I know can do that, and it's a real sign of bravery. I can't really help you with your situation, but I hope you take some solace in knowing that I respect you for opening up like that.

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    Meditate, understand that thoughts aren't ever as weighty as they seem. I relate to you a lot, lately I have been having lots of thoughts about serial killing and sadistically murdering toddlers. Sense of humor didn't work to ease my own burderns because I always thought that if realistically, people saw their own children being butchered by a serial killer before their eyes they wouldn't make some witty quip - unless they were a sociopath, and well - everything is fun when you're from Hell.

    The human brain is very interesting, basically at the core level we all make so much about imagination, being attached to TV shows and plots in our heads. It's easy for me to say 'yeah don't let your thoughts have seriousness to them' but in practice I know this is kind of what defines humanity in a way.

    Now I kinda am playing around and letting the two worlds dance, evil (mind) needs good (Physical, objective reality) & good needs evil. it's a symbiotic relationship. Meditation just helps you relax, breathe better, laugh it off, find the humor and lightness in situations - and understand the wisdom of 'Be a river, not a lake'. Okay, so something shitty and sadistic happened. You can't deny or sugarcoat it. But then it fades away, unless you hold onto it. The pulse and rhythm of life, the 1s and 0s. Calming down the mind is really the only key to curb your own insanity. And occasionally forcing yourself to endure the dreary awkwardness of real life social situations, as while they suck - it will at least get you out of your head a bit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Meditate, understand that thoughts aren't ever as weighty as they seem. I relate to you a lot, lately I have been having lots of thoughts about serial killing and sadistically murdering toddlers. Sense of humor didn't work to ease my own burderns because I always thought that if realistically, people saw their own children being butchered by a serial killer before their eyes they wouldn't make some witty quip - unless they were a sociopath, and well - everything is fun when you're from Hell.
    Someone in my family started writing about killing a five year old in his novels when he was like 12 years old. He has written several books and this theme continued in his writing until he was like 19. I was not sure whether I should be concerned or not. My intuition told me that this was not something he would do in real life. He is so loving and cares about everyone so his stories did not match his behavior.

    I finally just asked him straight, "Why do you write about killing a child over and over? This bothers me." His reply was, "The child is me. It is always me." His stories of killing innocents are filled with characters he bases only on himself. This made me both sad and relieved. It broke my heart. I have known him his whole life and I don't even know the depth of the pain and depression he has suffered because of incidents he relates to in his childhood. I know his childhood was less than perfect but it was above average in having family members you could relate to and talk to. Still he suffered so much in silence and only revealed it through his books.

    He is much better now because he has started to express himself more and not hold it all in. He still has his bad days. I think overall he is more neutral on his feelings and accepts them for what they are. "This too shall pass" is like our family motto. Even if it is cliché . I can relate to that very well.
    Last edited by Aylen; 01-21-2015 at 06:48 PM.

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    So how are things going?
    Everything interests me but nothing holds me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Birdie View Post
    So how are things going?

    Thanks for asking @Birdie!

    It’s going well… I’ve realized several things since that original post which have helped me change my perspective on some of the problems, which is really good. Like, I’ve realized and actually believe finally, that perfect just isn’t real. I think I’ve mentioned several times in some earlier posts this idea of an ideal, perfect self, but it occurred to me I can’t spend any more time trying to fix things to be a particular way, because, in reality, I’m tricking myself in to believing things need to be a specific way, when they don’t necessarily need to be. I can learn to turn any problem around, with a healthy perspective.

    I’ve accepted there will always be problems, but that’s alright. There will be bad days until the day I die, but that’s alright. As long as I can do my best. I’m starting to manage things a particular way… It’s all I really can do. And slowly I’m learning to develop healthy perspectives for my problems, but like I said, I know now there are always going to be those problems.

    Art’s also been really helpful. I still like pretending I’m famous and chatting with Jay Leno and going to Grammy’s night, but that’s alright, too… It’s for fun, mostly. I’ve learned I can have fun with those things, I just have to be careful or else I’ll start to believe it’s a possibility, even if it’s not, in reality… But it’s (the art) still been really helpful, even if I just think it’d be fun to be famous. It’s sort of like I can’t even nail down my motivations clearly into one specific thing. But I’ve learned that it’s alright, because I can learn to appreciate myself for that particular quality. Plus, I think it’s pretty cool that I’m like that. It can just be so stressful getting through another complicated day.

    That's one of the really sad thing I've realized from this. People are all so different, and it’s really sad how we’re all tricked into believing we have to be a particular way… It’s so terrible. In reality, we need to learn to open our minds to be able to see that it’s alright that people are all different, because we’ll learn to deal with our own problems when we’re able to be ourselves. Then we wouldn’t have so many problems with serial killers, etc. But that’ll never really happen. But that’s alright, because at least a couple people will notice and ask me how I learned to be so healthy, and I can reply by saying I learned to be myself. So there will be at least some sort of impact as a result. So, the pain isn’t a problem if I can realize that there’s a purpose for some of these problems, to help other people have less pain.

    Anyways, I feel like I make art for different reasons than a lot of people, but I feel like it just makes things a lot more interesting, which is pretty cool. I don’t know. I sort of feel like I was misunderstood with the whole idea of making art just to become famous, when in reality, I’m just drawn to it for several different reasons. I’ve been writing mostly for fun and my own mental health, which is pretty great, since I’ve realized that I need to learn to mesh the whole fame agenda with things that actually fit for me. I definitely like the creative aspect of it, like making the overall vibes of a piece in particular, and wordplay’s really fun… Actually, it’s sort of like an outlet for thought dumping and an over active mind and a fun thing for me, but not really for “getting out feelings” the way that most people are. I guess in a way I am, it just doesn’t really feel like that’s the core of it, the way that it might feel for some other people. It’s more like a channel for me, to help me feel like everything’s “alright” and my pain is out there for the world to feel, although generally it makes me really uncomfortable thinking that other people are actually reading through it.

    Sorry – I’ve rambled… I thought it’d be interesting to talk about it a little more so I’m really glad you asked!

    Edit: also, my mom did take me in for neuro psychological testing Wednesday, but we're still waiting for the results. It'll probably be two weeks, but I'll be sure and post if there's anything in particular that stands out from it.
    Last edited by Limitless; 03-21-2015 at 04:44 AM.

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    Keep your chin up, dude. You're gonna learn things about yourself for years and years to come. For perspective, I'm 27 and I still don't feel as though -- personality-wise -- I've completely "filled out." Like yeah, I'm starting to find a balance, and I'm figuring out who I am, but it's still an uphill thing. Each year you gain a little, you have to keep a sense of proportion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Capitalist Pig View Post
    Keep your chin up, dude. You're gonna learn things about yourself for years and years to come. For perspective, I'm 27 and I still don't feel as though -- personality-wise -- I've completely "filled out." Like yeah, I'm starting to find a balance, and I'm figuring out who I am, but it's still an uphill thing. Each year you gain a little, you have to keep a sense of proportion.
    For those following the Fi or Fe empathy thread...

    This is what I see as empathy, not sympathy. I was looking for forum examples.

    @Limitless
    I hope you keep sharing.

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    @CaptialistPig @Aylen Thanks for all the encouragement, guys! (I guess it is more empathy than sympathy. Either way like I said earlier it really helps knowing other people are able to understand, since they've gotten through similar things.)

    Also, I want to add, I think most of the realizations I was talking about earlier about figuring things out that’ve really helped me are mostly a kind of acceptance. I guess, I’m learning to be alright with things not being alright. Like, the core of my personality is that there is no core. They’re all sorts of paradoxes, and I guess what I wanted to say when I was replying, is that, I’m learning that there are always ways to make problems right. Even if it’s by simply accepting that things are not always right, it makes it alright.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Limitless View Post
    @CaptialistPig @Aylen Thanks for all the encouragement, guys! (I guess it is more empathy than sympathy. Either way like I said earlier it really helps knowing other people are able to understand, since they've gotten through similar things.)

    Also, I want to add, I think most of the realizations I was talking about earlier about figuring things out that’ve really helped me are mostly a kind of acceptance. I guess, I’m learning to be alright with things not being alright. Like, the core of my personality is that there is no core. They’re all sorts of paradoxes, and I guess what I wanted to say when I was replying, is that, I’m learning that there are always ways to make problems right. Even if it’s by simply accepting that things are not always right, it makes it alright.
    The best part is you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to figure it all out and so do I. Acceptance for me is an in the moment thing that I tend to struggle with. I wish I could just accept once and be done with it but it takes practice for some people and comes naturally to others. I am more likely to want to change someone else's perspective before changing my own. That can lead to conflict, that is totally unnecessary, so I do try to practice acceptance because it leads to letting go, when I do it right.

    Some advice though do not accept everything just because it is easier. Sometimes a little rebellion can change a lot. I am not talking about going the route I did. I do NOT advise that at all. But speak up for yourself. Use your intuition to guide you in how to respond or react in situations. Trust yourself. There are lots of paradoxes and there are lots of ways to make things right without acquiescing. Also accepting something does not mean you can't change it.

    I like to imagine life is like a movie sometimes and I am the director. A director can be good at manipulating scenarios in a way so that all the actors play their parts perfectly. Sometimes you have to fire some actors and find new ones in order to have your vision come to life. Hmm, yeah I am taking a bit of wisdom from Shakespeare here. Another way I like to look at it is like, life is a game (MMORPGs), all possible outcomes are already there. I get to make choices and use my own tactics and strategy while playing. If I don't like one path I take another. In the end I'm going to win anyway. One way or another.


    In the course of their lives, Fours may try several different identities on for size, basing them on styles, preferences, or qualities they find attractive in others. But underneath the surface, they still feel uncertain about who they really are. The problem is that they base their identity largely on their feelings. When Fours look inward they see a kaleidoscopic, ever-shifting pattern of emotional reactions. Indeed, Fours accurately perceive a truth about human nature—that it is dynamic and ever changing. But because they want to create a stable, reliable identity from their emotions, they attempt to cultivate only certain feelings while rejecting others. Some feelings are seen as “me,” while others are “not me.” By attempting to hold on to specific moods and express others, Fours believe that they are being true to themselves.

    One of the biggest challenges Fours face is learning to let go of feelings from the past; they tend to nurse wounds and hold onto negative feelings about those who have hurt them. Indeed, Fours can become so attached to longing and disappointment that they are unable to recognize the many treasures in their lives.

    Leigh is a working mother who has struggled with these difficult feelings for many years.
    “I collapse when I am out in the world. I have had a trail of relationship disasters. I have hated my sister’s goodness—and hated goodness in general. I went years without joy in my life, just pretending to smile because real smiles would not come to me. I have had a constant longing for whatever I cannot have. My longings can never become fulfilled because I now realize that I am attached to ‘the longing’ and not to any specific end result.”
    There is a Sufi story that relates to this about an old dog that had been badly abused and was near starvation. One day, the dog found a bone, carried it to a safe spot, and started gnawing away. The dog was so hungry that it chewed on the bone for a long time and got every last bit of nourishment that it could out of it. After some time, a kind old man noticed the dog and its pathetic scrap and began quietly setting food out for it. But the poor hound was so attached to its bone that it refused to let go of it and soon starved to death.

    Fours are in the same predicament. As long as they believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with them, they cannot allow themselves to experience or enjoy their many good qualities. To acknowledge their good qualities would be to lose their sense of identity (as a suffering victim) and to be without a relatively consistent personal identity (their Basic Fear). Fours grow by learning to see that much of their story is not true—or at least it is not true any more. The old feelings begin to fall away once they stop telling themselves their old tale: it is irrelevant to who they are right now.
    http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFour.asp#.VQ8Ie47F8Xs


    I am probably not the best person to give advice but now and then someone draws me, with their story, in the way you have and I just can't help myself. It is a case of sympatico and synchronicity at work here.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







  22. #22
    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    @Limitless, thank you so, so much for talking about what's going on inside of you here. Thank you for letting other people step in beside you.
    INFj / EII / FiNe
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    "Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G.K. Chesterton

    "Have courage and be kind." - Cinderella's mom

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    @Limitless, thank you so, so much for talking about what's going on inside of you here. Thank you for letting other people step in beside you.
    Your post reminded me of a quote. Sometimes I wish I could stop myself from posting these instantaneous associations I make.





    Not that you're a child anymore @Limitless but you have made me more aware of certain things that I had pushed to the back of my mind.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







  24. #24
    Limitless's Avatar
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    I got the test results back today!!!! I know a couple of you were wondering, so I figured I'd post them... Although I feel a little silly after posting all this stuff about how terrible my life is!

    I'm not actually depressed, which I'm soo thankful to be able to say!!!! When I first went in, I was a little worried they'd diagnose me with dysthymia or bipolar or something like that... I do have an anxiety disorder and also OCD, but I'm just so thankful to be able to get sarcasm or solve basic multiplication problems that it doesn't really bother me anymore. It feels like my whole life has taken a huge step in the right direction, just with these results. It's been such a great day!

    I feel a little embarrassed about the whole situation and I know I made a pretty big deal out of nothing, but I'm so thankful for everyone's support, even on my most terrible days. I know I've made a couple of crazy cringe worthy threads, even if you don't feel like it, but I feel so bad you've had to deal with that and I'll be more careful from now on. Thanks again for all the thoughtful replies and again I'm so thankful we were able to talk!

  25. #25
    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    It's way, way better to make a big deal out of something that turns out not to be so big than it is to ignore something that needs a lot more attention. I'm proud of you for both being vulnerable and showing courage. It's not easy at all to overcome or even just look at these types of things.
    INFj / EII / FiNe
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    "Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G.K. Chesterton

    "Have courage and be kind." - Cinderella's mom

  26. #26
    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
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    I've suffered from suicidal depression for a big part of my life. I have it under control now. Some tips which help me:

    - Sunlight

    - Eating clean. Whole foods and plenty of fermented foods with probiotics. Plenty of fruits, vegetables and lean meats.

    - Working out. Try to sweat once a day.

    - Train yourself to stop with the negative thinking. It becomes an addictive cycle.

    - Smile more, even when you feel nothing.

    - Surround yourself with good positive people.

    - Learn to love yourself.


    I know some of these things seem impossible when you're at your worst. Take it one step at a time.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

  27. #27
    Limitless's Avatar
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    Thanks @Starfall! I’m sorry to hear you’ve struggled so much, but I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better and thankful you’ve taken the time to help offer some suggestions.

    I know it’s pretty terrible that I’d made a thread like this when there are people who’ve had to resort to suicide as a better alternative than their life, so I really appreciated how you were still willing to help.

    Would you mind if I ask you if there were any particular realizations you came to that helped you to feel like life is actually worth living?

    (Edit: I know that's a huge question to answer and it'd be pretty complicated to reply, so feel free to reply if you have an thoughts on it, but if not that's alright too lol.)
    Last edited by Limitless; 04-04-2015 at 03:26 AM.

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    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Limitless View Post
    Thanks @Starfall! I’m sorry to hear you’ve struggled so much, but I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better and thankful you’ve taken the time to help offer some suggestions.

    I know it’s pretty terrible that I’d made a thread like this when there are people who’ve had to resort to suicide as a better alternative than their life, so I really appreciated how you were still willing to help.

    Would you mind if I ask you if there were any particular realizations you came to that helped you to feel like life is actually worth living?

    (Edit: I know that's a huge question to answer and it'd be pretty complicated to reply, so feel free to reply if you have an thoughts on it, but if not that's alright too lol.)
    Well, this may sound a little cliché, but the first time I realized I wanted to be alive was when I fell in love. I didn't realize how high on life one could feel. How, when the sun hit my face in the morning, I felt so absolutly exhilarated... the deepest sense of happiness to start the day and share it with someone I adored with all of my being. Colors looked brighter, music sounded sweeter. I never wanted to leave this amazing feeling.

    Love of another human being is not a good thing to base wanting to be alive over, though. That only means they have power over you, and in the wrong hands this can be devastating. You will fight, they will hurt you, you risk losing them, you want to die all over again, etc.

    You have to learn to love yourself. After falling in love, I knew that there were great sensations and expierences to be had for me in the future, that they actually existed and were 100% possible. If only I could feel them for myself, and not another person! So this was my goal and I kept at it.

    Everyone dealing with depression should have a goal of first being content with themselves, then learning to see things in a different light, then finally falling in love with who they are. This is why stopping the cycle of negative thinking is essential. It takes work. One small step at a time. Life is only worth living if you want it to be.
    Last edited by fox; 04-04-2015 at 03:16 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

  29. #29
    applejacks's Avatar
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    @Limitless - I am SO thrilled for you!!!! And don't ever feel embarrassed about sharing. It's better to reach out than to bottle things up that might eventually evolve into a bigger problem.

    Keep usposted, this is most definitely an answer to prayer! Yay!!!!
    And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?- Matthew 6:30

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lotus View Post
    you sound like you're going thru basic normal teenage struggle. the stryfe of young folk whose interests are mostly intellectual/artistic/grand, combined with little to no real life experience, makes for an anxious, social awkward dreamer.

    i kinda relate to some of what you're saying. when i was your age i was so experience hungry and felt that one day i would really live (because for some reason i didn't consider my then-existence "living") and i couldn't wait for then. i felt like at the rate my artistic skill improved with age, maybe one day i'll be a famous artist. on a conscious level i knew it was absurd, but i was never one to live the emotions of my conscious thoughts. instead i preferred to swim dreamily in my own head of the time when i'd one day live foreal, or be rich or have love or some other way all my problems and insecurities would be solved.

    in my opinion, there's 3 roads you can take here.

    1. you can catapult yourself into real shit situations and get hurt and grow and love and be free. the depression will, of course, come back. that's part of what you have to learn for yourself though... that there's no shortcut to happiness. it's fun as hell looking for one though and learning it first hand like that is a gift you'll cherish forever. plus all the drama you think is real now will become a joke. you're definitely a lot less anxious once you've been thru some hard times and survived them. almost like you have little left to fear

    2. do nothing. get stale and weird and be forever curious of what life could've been like. be safe and dry

    3. realize that happiness starts with yourself... not becoming famous or popular or whatever else you think you aspire to be. really tho, you're stuck in an ego trap. you're mistakenly identifying your Self with your personality. let go of who you think you are. simply love this being like he/she were just a complete stranger with a genuine smile. like someone you want to hold the door open for... treat your self with the same kindness that you'd give to that stranger. find new ways to treat him/her (you) right. maybe waking up and drinking a bunch of water and stretching a little. go outside and take deep breathes as your eyes greet the day. say thank you, for everything you've been given and every thing that's been taken away from you. if your mind starts racing with silly morning thoughts and fantasies, stay grounded. by focusing on your breath, or by literally touching the earth with your bare feet and feeling that sensation in immense detail. feel how alive you are. nature is the best anti-depressant that ever existed. start meditating. pretty soon when you are making art you'll be enjoying the process purely for what it is, rather than as a means for gain. because chasing that something is a never-ending game. you'll never find satisfaction on the outside, only within.
    I'm in a rut too. What are 'real shit situations' and how do you put yourself in the position to experience them. I want to try chasing because I've gotten stale and weird and life is really fucking boring. I have this nagging sense that I need to be doing something drastic, but I can't put my finger on what it is. Does it come easily to you - seeking out those sort of cathartic experiences?
    Last edited by suedehead; 04-18-2015 at 01:53 AM.

  31. #31
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    Eat some cookies. I'm sure that they will help you.

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