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Thread: if you couldn't have your dual, which intertype would you choose?

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    Default if you couldn't have your dual, which intertype would you choose?

    Which relationship would you prefer if you couldn't, for whatever reason, have your dual?

    With everything else being equal such as upbringing, age, gender, socioeconomic status etc etc which one have you found to be most appealing for a relationship?

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    Haikus
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    Extinguishment, quasi-identity, identical and semi- dual

    I didn't have romantic dual relationships . Those above were very fulfilling and I kind of wonder what I could have missed out . No but I have ESTJ ( also ENTJ ) good friends .

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    Cat Lady aixelsyd's Avatar
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    Easy. Semi-dual.
    Life's a bitch and she's got me pussy whipped.

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    Activity. Can't help but feel like my semi-duals have a tendency to be assholes. And mirage is ultimately unfulfilling as great as the conversations are.

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    I don't even think in these terms when it comes to relationships. I just want to be with someone I have strong chemistry with, some mutual interests, and a healthy bit of possessiveness toward each other.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Poster Nutbag The Exception's Avatar
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    Activity followed by mirror.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    either of the Benefits.

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    Activity and duality are tied on my mind. Activity could even be better actually.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
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    Johari Nohari

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    Semi-dual would be fine.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Romantically? Activity, without question. I think Activity is better than duality for marriage, but everyone should experience duality. It makes for good experiences to reminisce on in one's elderly years, and provides a source of deep pain from which endless wisdom may emerge.

    I also really like my beneficiaries and supervisees, and mirror depends because there are so many EIEs in the world that half of them will automatically suck, though the other half could definitely make for a great friend.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I'd find another dual. But, I don't think my boyfriend is going to let that happen.

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    Kindred, Activator, Mirror -- possibly Supervisor.

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    Benefit, Activity, Mirage, Mirror.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maithili View Post
    Romantically? Activity, without question. I think Activity is better than duality for marriage, but everyone should experience duality. It makes for good experiences to reminisce on in one's elderly years, and provides a source of deep pain from which endless wisdom may emerge.

    I also really like my beneficiaries and supervisees, and mirror depends because there are so many EIEs in the world that half of them will automatically suck, though the other half could definitely make for a great friend.
    Why do you find Activity to be better than Duality?

    My experience differs and I know you are specifically IEI as my Activator so I'm doubly curious now.

    As for OP, Activity or maybe Semi-dual if Duality isn't possible.

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    dugga dugga dun Narc's Avatar
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    Mirage or Mirror.

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    activity or identical are the best after dual. purely socionics wise, cause we all know that only the best intercourse counts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    activity or identical are the best after dual. purely socionics wise, cause we all know that only the best intercourse counts.
    Maybe that depends on type whether Identical is good for a long term relationship, I don't find it is, for me.

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    Muddy's Avatar
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    I've actually been good friends with some of my supervisors and supervisees. With that said:

    Acquaintances- Extinguishment

    Friendships- Mirror

    Romantically- Semi-dual, benefit, activity

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    Quote Originally Posted by Myst View Post
    Why do you find Activity to be better than Duality?

    My experience differs and I know you are specifically IEI as my Activator so I'm doubly curious now.

    As for OP, Activity or maybe Semi-dual if Duality isn't possible.
    I was considering replying to you by PM but I'll give it a shot here first~

    The EP temperament of my dual is very frustrating. The most characteristic "bad trait" of the EP temperament is flakiness, they always give off this impression of having some other place to be, other people to see, and a lot of the times it's not even true - they just want to keep you puzzling over how to make them stay. I rank EP last for commitment and reliability.

    Compared to Exxps, my LSI partner was much more difficult to start a relationship with. But after that, he never, ever, balked at commitment. I look at him, and I want him to be the father of my kids, I want to grow old with him. Because he has all the Ti and Se I could want, but also because he will be there.

    But I haven't really answered your question of why activity is better than duality, have I?

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    Quote Originally Posted by maithili View Post
    I was considering replying to you by PM but I'll give it a shot here first~

    The EP temperament of my dual is very frustrating. The most characteristic "bad trait" of the EP temperament is flakiness, they always give off this impression of having some other place to be, other people to see, and a lot of the times it's not even true - they just want to keep you puzzling over how to make them stay. I rank EP last for commitment and reliability.

    Compared to Exxps, my LSI partner was much more difficult to start a relationship with. But after that, he never, ever, balked at commitment. I look at him, and I want him to be the father of my kids, I want to grow old with him. Because he has all the Ti and Se I could want, but also because he will be there.

    But I haven't really answered your question of why activity is better than duality, have I?
    Well sure you only specifically talked about LSI/SLE here but that's already interesting, thanks.

    Just one comment/question, I heard duality is the one that's hard to start while activity is easy to start so how did you figure you are in activity relations with LSI and duality with SLE?

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    I'm currently in an Activity Relationship, although I don't have any duality experience for purposes of comparison. I can definitely see how some Activation relations would be easier to start than duality--for instance SLE/EIE and ESE/ILE are very openly social. This puts them in a position more often to experience the benefit from the positive interplay of complementary informational elements.

    LSI in particular can be very guarded personally, and I've noticed many of them to highly favour the quality of relationships over quantity. This makes them slow to warm and open up...thus limiting their odds of exposure. However once they do let their guard down & let you into their inner circle, they are extremely solidly reliable and loyal! I imagine the same would be true for the ESI vs SEE. The social circle of the SEE is usually overwhelmingly gigantic. I am not sure if this would be initially intimidating to the ILI, but the LIE just views it as inefficient and encourages the SEE to streamline and then spend more time on useful interactions as opposed to being so available on everyone else's agenda and determination. This recommendation and assistance surprisingly turns out to be a relief to the overly-extended people-pleasing SEE. Being with another extrovert also takes pressure off the LIE--releasing him/her from having to (often unsuccessfully) use so much F.😉 It allows LIE to become more introverted...which I believe is a healthier state, given the overly aware and extended scope of things the LIE feels responsible for.

    Similarly, I think that any social over-involvement of a SLE would roll right off the back of a EIE--as they would be distracted and busy with their own social agenda, or else want to also be part of the SLE's. The more limited, low-key and slower-paced social world of the LSI might be a better fit for the IEI. The same could be said for SEI/LII--both would want to "leave the party" early😉. The SEE/LIE would stay all night...although ironically I've found the SEE/LIE pairing to have resulted in more introversion on both our parts. Toned-down versions of SEE and LIE are actually improvements (imo)! It may be that with LSI/IEI, both may realise and appreciate that the necessary & solid level of respect/trust to let their guard down and open more fully is present.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ENJoymENT View Post
    I'm currently in an Activity Relationship, although I don't have any duality experience for purposes of comparison. I can definitely see how some Activation relations would be easier to start than duality--for instance SLE/EIE and ESE/ILE are very openly social. This puts them in a position more often to experience the benefit from the positive interplay of complementary informational elements.
    I don't know if it has anything to do with social extraversion/introversion, more like about a similarity - that is also somewhat complementary on top of that! - that helps partners notice each other quickly? At least that's how I am with the IEIs, being LSI. EIE is of course even more complementary and fitting in the sense of duality but the large difference - compared to IEI - is what I think slows things down initially. I'm not sure if that's the only reason tho'?

    What that similarity is, the activator partner's leading function is my mobilizing and vice versa and I think that's what really makes things simple initially.. me being more aware of my mobilizing anyway, compared to my dual seeking function, and assuming others are the same with this. The problem in my case specifically is too much introversion though, over time I find it's not ideal, it leads to more than desired isolation inside the relationship. Also, somehow things are a bit out of sync when interacting. Probably part of that is that my dual seeking function is a contact function of the activator partner that's too flexible, situational and not always there, unlike the leading function. And vice versa, their dual seeking function vs my creative being out of sync a bit. I got these observations from trends over time in the communication.


    It may be that with LSI/IEI, both may realise and appreciate that the necessary & solid level of respect/trust to let their guard down and open more fully is present.
    I don't see why this is specific to LSI/IEI over LSI/EIE and SLE/IEI relations?


    LSI in particular can be very guarded personally, and I've noticed many of them to highly favour the quality of relationships over quantity. This makes them slow to warm and open up...thus limiting their odds of exposure. However once they do let their guard down & let you into their inner circle, they are extremely solidly reliable and loyal! (..)

    Similarly, I think that any social over-involvement of a SLE would roll right off the back of a EIE--as they would be distracted and busy with their own social agenda, or else want to also be part of the SLE's. The more limited, low-key and slower-paced social world of the LSI might be a better fit for the IEI. The same could be said for SEI/LII--both would want to "leave the party" early. The SEE/LIE would stay all night...although ironically I've found the SEE/LIE pairing to have resulted in more introversion on both our parts. Toned-down versions of SEE and LIE are actually improvements (imo)!
    So you think it would be individual preference whether someone wants more socializing or a deeper relationship beyond it simply being activity or duality relations? Accommodations can be made for each case, though. Say, I would not necessarily want to leave a party early if it's going well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shakealittle View Post
    Which relationship would you prefer if you couldn't, for whatever reason, have your dual?
    seppuku

    j/k

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    seppuku

    j/k


    Take someone else's?



    [not talking about taking someone else's guy people]

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post


    Take someone else's?



    [not talking about taking someone else's guy people]
    that's just perpetuating the cycle of #nodualsforanyone



    #don't steal. love.

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    activator. on 3rd place is semi-dual
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    that's just perpetuating the cycle of #nodualsforanyone



    #don't steal. love.
    Awww

    #duality is probable

    #never let anyone steal hopes or dreams

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    activator. on 3rd place is semi-dual
    why not third place mirror since they are in your quadra and have your quadra values

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    Apparently I have a tendency to go for Super-Ego

    (I blame the enneagram though)

    No, I kind of go for whoever I like and type later.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    why not third place mirror
    same club of own quadra are boring and can't support in weak functions. semi-duality gives complement for leading function what is good
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    same club of own quadra are boring and can't support in weak functions. semi-duality gives complement for leading function what is good
    while that may be somewhat true the values and outlook of opposing quadra are far more annoying and frustrating than just functional support as I have observed in my sister's personal semi dual relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    while that may be somewhat true the values and outlook of opposing quadra are far more annoying and frustrating than just functional support as I have observed in my sister's personal semi dual relationship.
    The semi-dual is not in your opposing quadra.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myst View Post
    The semi-dual is not in your opposing quadra.
    They are in the opposite quadrant. For example Gamma/Delta. Ne values opposite from Se yes similar along the lines of Fi/Te

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    abusive conflictor or supervisor? sorry, i just have to try to keep socionics interesting.

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    Activity.

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    Semi-Dual or Activity.

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    High Priestess glam's Avatar
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    i feel like it'd have to be a Ti type, so my Activator, Illusionary, or Beneficiary.

    i know a lot of people say they'd want their Semi-dual, but i've never been attracted to one romantically. SEE men are usually far too nice and smooth with everyone, i guess i don't trust it on the other hand, my duals are often assholes...

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    Landlord of the Dog and Duck Subteigh's Avatar
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    I know what the answer/s might be socionically, and I might have my thought on beneficial relations in my own life, but that is limited to typing ability as well as random variance. (I certainly wouldn't want to limit myself based on such criteria). Illusionary relations (i.e. EIIs&ESEs) seemed quite enjoyable, even if it meant in one case involved being strangled "for fun" for numerous years (I can certainly understand why two ethical types or two logical types etc. might not be considered ideal).
    Last edited by Subteigh; 09-20-2015 at 11:14 PM.
    EII-Ne
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    Fembot Olimpia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glam View Post
    i feel like it'd have to be a Ti type, so my Activator, Illusionary, or Beneficiary.

    i know a lot of people say they'd want their Semi-dual, but i've never been attracted to one romantically. SEE men are usually far too nice and smooth with everyone, i guess i don't trust it on the other hand, my duals are often assholes...
    That's interesting. Do you feel like you are the Fe subtype?

    Personally, I couldn't be with my Beneficiary, and only with an Illusionary if their Ti subtype was strong.
    Mainly because I am deeply irritated by the Childlike romance style. It just does not work for me at all.
    Being a strong Ni subtype, I need someone to be more Aggressor. I need someone to be direct, pro-active, both romantically and lifestyle-wise in general.
    I am way too passive myself. The Se of men gives me more reassurance; it reflects positively on me. If it is directed at me positively, it makes me feel more appreciated.
    Ne, on the other hand, can sometimes make me feel insulted somehow. As if I was not taken seriously as a person, a woman.

    Having said that, many years ago when I was a pre-teen up to my early teens, I used to be less strong Ni subtype, perhaps even close to the Fe subtype. Around that time, Gamma SF guys could not impress me too much. And yes, I could feel irritated by that "eagerness" ESFx people tend to present when engaging with someone.

    Generally, subtype plays quite a role when it comes to what relation you'd prefer; especially if it is a pronounced subtype.
    Last edited by Olimpia; 09-24-2015 at 08:58 AM.

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