What are your personal experiences with your PoLR?

[Socionics to America]

This function fascinates me the most of all. I've observed it greatly in myself and many of the people in my everyday life, but I've always wondered how Socionists have experienced that notorious weak spot since they are aware that the vulnerable function exists. If you dare, post some actual observations of how your type's PoLR has manifested itself in your life.

I'll start it off:My PoLR is Introverted Sensing. I've noticed it manifest itself as serious suspicion regarding how my friends and family view my health. I become extremely self-conscious if I feel there's reason to believe others think I am unhealthy or, basically, look like shit! I actually find it easy to adjust my environment in a comfortable manner; where the REAL weak spot comes out is when I am DIScomforted. I don't seem to be able to "rebound" from the discomfort that I feel when I start worrying about things I haven't gotten done at work or in general - when I suddenly feel I'm losing control of my life, it's hard to just get into a soothing mindset.

[Iris]

I'll start it off:My PoLR is Introverted Sensing. I've noticed it manifest itself as serious suspicion regarding how my friends and family view my health. I become extremely self-conscious if I feel there's reason to believe others think I am unhealthy or, basically, look like shit! I actually find it easy to adjust my environment in a comfortable manner; where the REAL weak spot comes out is when I am DIScomforted. I don't seem to be able to "rebound" from the discomfort that I feel when I start worrying about things I haven't gotten done at work or in general - when I suddenly feel I'm losing control of my life, it's hard to just get into a soothing mindset.

My polr is also Si.

I also think that I do a pretty good job of anticipating potential discomfort and trying to adjust my environment to make myself comfortable. Other people might think my environment lacks comfort, cold house in winter, for example. A group of Si valuers stayed with me at Christmas, and my lifestyle is a little more spartan than what they like.

I agree that rebounding from discomfort is a huge problem. When I visited a relative's new house, I packed things like sinex because I cant sleep if my nose is stopped up, also socks, because I cant sleep when my feet are cold. (Not being able to get to sleep is a huge trauma for me - it's especially hard in a strange place.)

So horrors - my alloted bedroom was cold and damp! The sheets were clammy! I tried just to stay in one spot and warm it up, but that didnt work. I was so cold and also so distressed for my friends that they must have a damp crawl space under their house to cause that problem, that I worried about it all night. I don't think I slept at all. The next day, my body ached all over from the cold damp bed.

Why didnt I just get up and sleep on the comfy sofa in their family room?

I felt bad saying something about it the next day, but they never sleep in there, so how would they know? I also bought a small cheap dehumidifier for the room. It made a huge difference.

[Aylen]

Way before I got into socioncs I was aware that I had a tendency to trust my own intuition over any outside source of information, especially history books. Sometimes I will get a sense that something is off about information then I spend too much time trying to reconcile my own ideas about a subject and what has been written by supposedly reliable sources. If it can't be reconciled then I will only take into consideration the information that rings "true" and dismiss the rest as irrelevant or inaccurate. This didn't always go over well , with some of my teachers, in school when I had to write reports. I have been told I completely ignored the facts which is not really true. I just didn't believe them and chose my own understanding over the one accepted by the masses.

I think I can be pretty good at filtering Te that I find useless so I am not even sure if this is an example of a vulnerable function. My ex said it made it near impossible to debate me on any subject I was very familiar with because my argument was based on a "knowing", plus some research for external validation of my intuition, and he was not good at forming arguments against "knowings".

This type of thing can also make me look arrogant and stubborn when I don't even feel like I am being arrogant. How can you explain to someone how you are able to just know something when the function responsible for the knowing is not a strong function in them? That was where I clashed with some teachers the most. I still managed to get As on my reports though. I think because I also knew when I just had to do a report according to the "rules" when it required writing a sequence of events or processes from the material I was taught, which involved memorizing, like in tech school. I often do things out of sequence but when it came to writing about it, I would just write what they were looking for and not tell them my own ideas on why it was ok to do things, out of sequence, if I got the same results as those who followed all proper procedures.

[Rhaegar]

My experience with Fe PoLR:

Every social situation outside my normal circle. People expect charm and attention, want me to nod and smile. All I want to do is look in my own direction, maintain my own disposition. People think because I am not looking at them that I don't care or am not listening. I see their enthusiasm fade and it hits me that they probably don't like me now. I haven't been a "propper" person. I don't really care about that but I don't want to be intentionally mean to someone, make them think what they are saying doesn't matter. So then I kind of try, but its not enough and now we both think I am not being geuine. Forcing the smile hurts, and its not as big or expressive as I think I am making it. Now it's awkward again. This is probably most often the case in my interaction with alphas. It makes me feel so much pressure, especially in the presence of ESE's. I can tell they want me to break and fall into their emotional mode but I just can't, I don't want to. I know it is cliche, but that is why I like the duals I know so much. My lack of expression doesn't bother them. They don't mind if I just say my thoughts and accept that what I am feeling might come out in monotone sentences. I wish I could escape this function, it makes life so uncomfortable.

[krieger]

to the extent i take PoLR seriously, i think in my case in consists in a tendency to get ganged up on by people of different opinion because i always state mine with confidence without regard to the distribution of power between people of my opinion and the contrary one. it's not like i'm more often than others in disagreement with the majority, but when i am, i am among the few that still speak up and stand ready to take punches for it. it's not a matter of courage so much as obliviousness and nonchalance.

the interesting thing is of course that this is almost the opposite of what a lot of people habitually presume it to be, i.e. lack of assertiveness, timidity.

[lemontrees]

it hits me at work.

seriously, i work with two LSE bosses, and their other assistant is also LSE. luckily i work remotely, so it's not as severe.

[Iris]

@Rhaegar Aw, Dang.

You really expressed your response to Fe well. Somehow it seems so much more painful than my polr. When I was reading what you wrote, I could picture myself talking to you, smiling, trying to pull a smile from you, not because I want to manipulate, but because that is just what I naturally do without thinking.

Understanding socionics has really helped me tone down the Fe around my Fe polr friends, so I m grateful for the understanding.

[Park]

My experience with Fe PoLR:

Every social situation outside my normal circle. People expect charm and attention, want me to nod and smile. All I want to do is look in my own direction, maintain my own disposition. People think because I am not looking at them that I don't care or am not listening. I see their enthusiasm fade and it hits me that they probably don't like me now. I haven't been a "propper" person. I don't really care about that but I don't want to be intentionally mean to someone, make them think what they are saying doesn't matter. So then I kind of try, but its not enough and now we both think I am not being geuine. Forcing the smile hurts, and its not as big or expressive as I think I am making it. Now it's awkward again. This is probably most often the case in my interaction with alphas. It makes me feel so much pressure, especially in the presence of ESE's. I can tell they want me to break and fall into their emotional mode but I just can't, I don't want to. I know it is cliche, but that is why I like the duals I know so much. My lack of expression doesn't bother them. They don't mind if I just say my thoughts and accept that what I am feeling might come out in monotone sentences. I wish I could escape this function, it makes life so uncomfortable.

I remember you saying you had an SLI sibling. Are they the same way?

[Rhaegar]

I remember you saying you had an SLI sibling. Are they the same way?

I cannot speak for her directly, but I think it is mostly the same. A close friend of ours girlfriend is an ESE. Whenever she hits the room my sister and I both sigh and prepare for the onslaught of polite conversation. My sis is a senior in High School and there is an EIE in her social circle. They are almost always at odds with each other. He is constantly attempting to school her on the "appropriate" way to act and educate her on the things she says. I can't say what his side of it is since I haven't spoken to him but she seems to find it quite grating. I'll ask her when I get a chance.

[Iris]

My sis is a senior in High School and there is an EIE in her social circle. They are almost always at odds with each other. He is constantly attempting to school her on the "appropriate" way to act and educate her on the things she says. I can't say what his side of it is since I haven't spoken to him but she seems to find it quite grating.

I would never do that. I just stay away from people that I think are acting inappropriately. I figure that I am not going to have any influence on them any way. Why make myself look bad? The only time I intervene is when I see someone being abused. Then I have to speak up.

[Park]

I would never do that. I just stay away from people that I think are acting inappropriately. I figure that I am not going to have any influence on them any way. Why make myself look bad? The only time I intervene is when I see someone being abused. Then I have to speak up.

Make your choice:

1) I belong in Delta. (because I'm unlike most Betas here and Park likes me)
2) Park belongs in Beta. (because Park also intervenes only against perceived injustice)
3) Socionics is bullshit. (because this option makes the most sense)

[Iris]

Make your choice:

1) I belong in Delta. (because I'm unlike most Betas here and Park likes me)
2) Park belongs in Beta. (because Park also intervenes only against perceived injustice)
3) Socionics is bullshit. (because this option makes the most sense)

Well I can't go with #3 because I greatly like and depend on this logical system to make sense of myself.

I can't be Delta because my unvalued Si is so lame.

That leaves option # 2. You can join me in Beta, intervening only against perceived injustices, and you will also be able to help me edit my posts.

[Eliza Thomason]

Well I can't go with #3 because I greatly like and depend on this logical system to make sense of myself.

I can't be Delta because my unvalued Si is so lame.

That leaves option # 2. You can join me in Beta, intervening only against perceived injustices, and you will also be able to help me edit my posts.

I agree!

[Park]

Well I can't go with #3 because I greatly like and depend on this logical system to make sense of myself.

I can't be Delta because my unvalued Si is so lame.

That leaves option # 2. You can join me in Beta, intervening only against perceived injustices, and you will also be able to help me edit my posts.

I accept the proposition if you promise to help me utilize my helping efforts properly and direct them away from bad and unworthy causes and individuals.

[xerx]

everyone i meet wants to punch me in the face (Fi)

[ConcreteButterfly]

Ti polr

Breaking the rules without realising there are rules. At work, this is really a problem!
Not knowing how to explain things without going into endless detail
Hating to get comments (even compliments) on any objective criteria, eg. where I live, what work I do, how many friends I have on facebook lol
Having no connection between the different activities I do. Being part of many social groups which wouldn't get along.
Physically, being unable to stay still or make eye contact with people who make me uncomfortable (maybe this is not Ti polr though)

[FDG]

to the extent i take PoLR seriously, i think in my case in consists in a tendency to get ganged up on by people of different opinion because i always state mine with confidence without regard to the distribution of power between people of my opinion and the contrary one. it's not like i'm more often than others in disagreement with the majority, but when i am, i am among the few that still speak up and stand ready to take punches for it. it's not a matter of courage so much as obliviousness and nonchalance.

Uhm, I do this too.

[Rhaegar]

Ti polr

Hating to get comments (even compliments) on any objective criteria, eg. where I live, what work I do, how many friends I have on facebook lol
Having no connection between the different activities I do. Being part of many social groups which wouldn't get along

Interesting, I don't believe I have ever heard Ti PoLR put this way before. It sounds like an analytical representation of Fe data, which is what I suppose Ti is to some extent. It makes sense, but I had never thought of it like this. Thank you for sharing.

I have always noticed this kind of data didn't matter to me when judging people, and that I don't usually talk about it or consider it important socially, but I always assumed that had to do with my personal perception. Based on your post it makes me think that it's an example of how the dual's demonstrative function can be strong but ultimately used to quietly protect. Of course I generally notice this information, but I don't even really consider it worth talking about. I would never pester anyone I cared about with this kind of data. It doesn't change whether they are a good person or are fun loving. What do you think of your demonstrative? Does it seem similar to this idea?

[krieger]

Uhm, I do this too.

you're also a T type with weak Se.

[The Exception]

Se is my PLR. It manifests when I'm around people that to me seem overly bossy and demanding. I cannot stand to be bossed around and made to do things. At the same time, I'm also uncomfortable doing the same to others. I rarely 'put myself out there', rarely self-promote, tend to wait for things to come to me than to go out and get them.

[Aylen]

Make your choice:

1) I belong in Delta. (because I'm unlike most Betas here and Park likes me)
2) Park belongs in Beta. (because Park also intervenes only against perceived injustice)
3) Socionics is bullshit. (because this option makes the most sense)

4) Interquadra dualization (see #3)
5) Star-crossed conflictors (blame socionics)

[ConcreteButterfly]

Interesting, I don't believe I have ever heard Ti PoLR put this way before. It sounds like an analytical representation of Fe data, which is what I suppose Ti is to some extent. It makes sense, but I had never thought of it like this. Thank you for sharing.

I have always noticed this kind of data didn't matter to me when judging people, and that I don't usually talk about it or consider it important socially, but I always assumed that had to do with my personal perception. Based on your post it makes me think that it's an example of how the dual's demonstrative function can be strong but ultimately used to quietly protect. Of course I generally notice this information, but I don't even really consider it worth talking about. I would never pester anyone I cared about with this kind of data. It doesn't change whether they are a good person or are fun loving. What do you think of your demonstrative? Does it seem similar to this idea?

Yeah, with Ti demonstratives, I feel like they genuinely don't judge me for it which is a HUGE relief. Still it isn't easy to talk about. I just fear being rejected if I don't fit whatever image they have of someone associated with that data.

And yep, I agree the dual's demonstrative function is strong, but ultimately unvalued and only serves to protect. With Fe polrs, I do notice when their emotions aren't "appropriate", when they're not smiling at people when it is expected or whatever. But I wouldn't ever expect it from them, I hate having to show emotions unless I really feel it and I assume other people are the same. Besides, there's no way to build a bond of trust without sincere emotions, even when they go against social expectations. So I prefer their real expression.

[Park]

4) Interquadra dualization (see #3)
5) Star-crossed conflictors (blame socionics)

On a semi-related note, I've come to believe that the idea of inter-personal "compatibility" is nothing more than an illusion. I find this especially evident in romantic relationships, where what some people percieve as a "lack of compatibility" is actually a lack of respect, of trusting and being devoted to one another. I guess it's easier and often too convenient to use this illusion of (in)compatibility as an excuse to leave a relationship, than to build and cultivate mutual trust, devotion, and respect, which is what real compatibility boils down to, essentially. A person who thinks that compatibility is this mystical unicorn they need to spend their whole life chasing around are never going to find what they're looking for. Socionics perpetuates this fallacious thinking.

[Iris]

4) Interquadra dualization (see #3)
5) Star-crossed conflictors (blame socionics)

Love this!

[Iris]

On a semi-related note, I've come to believe that the idea of inter-personal "compatibility" is nothing more than an illusion. I find this especially evident in romantic relationships, where what some people percieve as a "lack of compatibility" is actually a lack of respect, of trusting and being devoted to one another. I guess it's easier and often too convenient to use this illusion of (in)compatibility as an excuse to leave a relationship, than to build and cultivate mutual trust, devotion, and respect, which is what real compatibility boils down to, essentially. A person who thinks that compatibility is this mystical unicorn they need to spend their whole life chasing around are never going to find what they're looking for. Socionics perpetuates this fallacious thinking.

I agree. A foundation of respect, trust, devotion is the key, and those don't just happen without effort. Being ready to give and receive forgiveness is essential. I think you can find happiness out of your quadra, and if I had a time machine, I would never exchange my own out of quadra experience for the promise of duality. Compatibility is a great thing, but it is not the only thing.

[FDG]

I guess it's easier and often too convenient to use this illusion of (in)compatibility as an excuse to leave a relationship, than to build and cultivate mutual trust, devotion, and respect, which is what real compatibility boils down to, essentially.

I think this is not true at all. Some people have really different lifestyles, interests, personalities, attitudes that just don't mesh with each other well.

[strangeling]

I use my PoLR when I take a shit. Si just isn't my thing, so I tend to shit all over the place and in my pants. If only I had more Si, I'd be good, but I don't.

[blackburry]

Se is my PLR. It manifests when I'm around people that to me seem overly bossy and demanding. I cannot stand to be bossed around and made to do things. At the same time, I'm also uncomfortable doing the same to others. I rarely 'put myself out there', rarely self-promote, tend to wait for things to come to me than to go out and get them.

I feel the same ..I hate being bossed around but also being bossy/demanding..I will go out of my way irl to not...Idk if this is shyness or what..but I really hate asking people for things, I'd rather do it myself even if it feels like I can't do it myself.

[Mallan]

My brother, Rhaegar, described our PoLR quite well. While I do enjoy the atmosphere of my social circle, there will be times when the huge displays of emotion will be too much. Even from one of my close friends, who is an IEE. Heheh, even duals can be too much sometimes! Anyways, from what Rhaegar accurately described of the EIE in my social circle, I cannot tell you how irksome it is. (Especially doesn't help when he's my ex and has the same friends as I) When I say something, he will tell me what I shouldn't be doing. Feels like I'm a child being scolded on what's right and wrong. He doesn't even back up these moral claims, just says them to say them. When I ask him on why I shouldn't be doing it, two scenarios occur: (mostly ends up going both ways) Gets away with the scolding by trying to change the topic, throws a tantrum and walks away. Let me just say, I've found the walking away to be quite entertaining nowadays!

Getting back to my original point, when I'm expected to be around Fe, I'm sensitive to the air they can bring to a group. I would say that in terms of EIE and ESE, I find the ESE to be more tolerable because they tend to bring a little more positivity and solace that I enjoy here and there. Maybe it helps that Si is their creative function! ESE possess the ability to create a more friendly and open environment. Even though I condescend their energy by replying to something directly at me in their tone, holding back the urge to flinch when they pat my shoulder, or even hug me, the condescension temporarily copes with my discomfort in that created environment. With an EIE, it's like they try to make me feel the way their face is shown, which, based off my experience, has been negativity. I find that they can generally push that mood on me because they are naturally very skilled with invoking reaction and just emotional reaction in general. They also want to generally give off some kind of presence, but at the same time, glide in the background.

OVERALL: In my eyes, Fe is confusing, unsettling, and unpredictable. Having Fe in your id block bodes over well when interacting with me. On the other hand, quickly depleting my energy with that emotional passion and attempted power play? Not worth my time.

[Iris]

My brother, Rhaegar, described our PoLR quite well. While I do enjoy the atmosphere of my social circle, there will be times when the huge displays of emotion will be too much. Even from one of my close friends, who is an IEE. Heheh, even duals can be too much sometimes! Anyways, from what Rhaegar accurately described of the EIE in my social circle, I cannot tell you how irksome it is. (Especially doesn't help when he's my ex and has the same friends as I) When I say something, he will tell me what I shouldn't be doing. Feels like I'm a child being scolded on what's right and wrong. He doesn't even back up these moral claims, just says them to say them. When I ask him on why I shouldn't be doing it, two scenarios occur: (mostly ends up going both ways) Gets away with the scolding by trying to change the topic, throws a tantrum and walks away. Let me just say, I've found the walking away to be quite entertaining nowadays!

Getting back to my original point, when I'm expected to be around Fe, I'm sensitive to the air they can bring to a group. I would say that in terms of EIE and ESE, I find the ESE to be more tolerable because they tend to bring a little more positivity and solace that I enjoy here and there. Maybe it helps that Si is their creative function! ESE possess the ability to create a more friendly and open environment. Even though I condescend their energy by replying to something directly at me in their tone, holding back the urge to flinch when they pat my shoulder, or even hug me, the condescension temporarily copes with my discomfort in that created environment. With an EIE, it's like they try to make me feel the way their face is shown, which, based off my experience, has been negativity. I find that they can generally push that mood on me because they are naturally very skilled with invoking reaction and just emotional reaction in general. They also want to generally give off some kind of presence, but at the same time, glide in the background.

OVERALL: In my eyes, Fe is confusing, unsettling, and unpredictable. Having Fe in your id block bodes over well when interacting with me. On the other hand, quickly depleting my energy with that emotional passion and attempted power play? Not worth my time.

Your observations are very well articulated.

As I read this, I am struck with the thought that if Fe is all about the emotional atmosphere, should Fe types not be good at seeing when people are uncomfortable? And adjusting?

I dont know the answer, the question just occurred to me.

[Alomoes]

Your observations are very well articulated.

As I read this, I am struck with the thought that if Fe is all about the emotional atmosphere, should Fe types not be good at seeing when people are uncomfortable? And adjusting?

I dont know the answer, the question just occurred to me.

No. That is Fi. Fe is giving out. Fi is taking in. Ni using all that you know. I like this thread. All the dedicated researchers are here.