The best intertype relationship for friendship

[Amber]

For me the best friendship I had was with my:
identities ( INFj )
semi-duality
comparative ,
activity .

What was it like for you ??? please rank the top types for you in friendship.

[willekeurig]

Mirror is a clear winner, the rest are in no particular order:

Mirror (IEE)
Activity (SLI)
Duality (LSE)
Semi Dual (LIE)
Kindred (ESI)
Benefit (SEI)
Supervision (ILE)
Quasi-Identity (IEI)

--> deltas, types with a leading function valued by delta, IEI

[FDG]

identical, dual

[golden]

Mirror

[ENJoymENT]

1. Mirror ILI--all the understanding and mutual appreciation for the absurd...none of the E-E clash.
2. Benefit IEE--playfulness, support, understanding, sense of freedom &acceptance. Creative & unsolicited help with my Inferior Fi.
3. Illusionary LSI--compatibility and mutual appreciation stemming from a dominant Thinking approach. Attraction &sense of adventure when combined with the other's creative Tertiary (Ni+Se).

**I want to qualify my response with the fact that I don't know any Duals.

[Becca]

Dual was the best mutual understanding, comfort, sharing interests. Never misunderstandings that we couldn't compromise. Semi-dual is second,have fun and talk about similiar interests, Mirror is next, understand eachother well and rarely argue. Quasi identity is next, we seem to always have a laugh with each other and enjoy long talks.
But this is only based on my exposure to those people.
I also liked my benefactor friend, but felt the imbalance too strongly. Made me feel inadequate in a way

[krieger]

mirror, activity and duality are potentially very awkward due to the assumed familiarity and the need to constantly inhibit them when values don't match.

identity, same story with some rivalry & shared helplessness thrown in.

shared ??troversion + rationality is generally least stressful.

[blackburry]

certain SEEs. Many LIIs. Certain ESEs. Occassionally LIEs.
Rarely ILIs.

[Computer Loser]

Infps and isfps... can't get em off me!!!!

[Amber]

Comparative brought depth and an insidious, but beneficial reconsideration of a few "rote convictions".
Q-identity felt earthy, reliable, and durable, but ended in unexpected conflict.
Semi-duality is productive and had a vaguely parental feel.
Activity meant lots of topics to squeeze in conversations in spite of a slight feeling of boredom due to much regularity or internal focus.
Look-alike can feel like friendship that's solid without needing many words (when you know you strive for similar stuff) ...not much to learn (grow on it) though.

But well, I'm not eager to generalize ...it depends on too much that's too personal.

[saskiaza21]

Mirror ( IEE )
Supervisor ( SEE )
Benefit ( SEI )

I've a few friends irl :/

[Lolita]

Any of them is fine. It’s not like you can’t be friends with a person due to their type.

[PinKDiGiT18]

Man, everyone’s always going on about how awesome Mirror friends are but I have only ever gotten along with mine superficially, and I’ve known and been close to a TON of IEEs. With the Ne-sub we are similar in capabilities but our priorities are so different that our conversations always end up with one of us trying to convince the other that their view is the right one, and it’s extremely irritating. I get along with the Fi-sub better; my childhood best friend is one and I still catch up every once in a while with them.

My mom and I consider each other as a best friend and she is my benefactor, ILI-Te. Growing up, we had great difficulty getting along sometimes but as I got older and we started to communicate I have been never been closer to or trusted anyone as much as my mama. ❤️

My elementary school best friend whom I called a kindred spirit is SLI-Si, my Activator. We had a great connection, argued all the time but I loved her dearer than a sister and we could do just about anything together. As we grew she just sort of fell off the map to try to find herself and we drifted apart but recently she reached out again.

My best friend is ESE-Fe (Illusionary). When we first met we liked each other but it was kind of a love-hate thing. Over the years our friendship has strengthened and we are more patient with one another. I find it funny I get along with her so well as my grandma is also ESE-Fe and we honestly get along like a cat in a running bath (even though I love her with all my heart).

My other best friend right now might be EIE-Ni (Contrary) but I don’t know 100%, she may even be my identical (EII). Wonderful, incredibly supportive person and devoted friend, I can legitimately talk to her about anything without her being offended or judging me - genuinely appreciate her presence in my life.

I love my beneficiaries SEIs, and for the most part they like me too - have had two besties of this type. I have observed opposing ethical elements always causes conflict of some form in our friendships, but for the most part there is a sense of warmth and camaraderie.

I don’t have many identical friendships but I adore the intimate, judgment-free space we create when we find each other. One of my favorite places to be!

Just realized I haven’t yet mentioned my duals LSEs, and it’s sad because there is a wonderful person in my life I so happen to have been in love with who is LSE-Te, and I KNOW we would have a wonderful friendship but they are not open to close relationships at this point. It’s a real bummer, to say the least.

And LIIs, my Lookalikes. I have two LII cousins, one LII-Ti and one LII-Ne, and I consider them both two of my closest friends. They are relatable and allow me to be my utterly zany and ruminative self without judgment. Adore them.

edit: forgot to add LIE, my semi-dual. My brother is LIE-Ni and has been my rock so many times, we’re always there to listen to and support each other. I’m one of the limited number of people he likes and it’s pretty awesome 😂

[Yulin]

Mirror and activity win. My best friends for over 15 years are respectively a IEE girl and a SLI dude that I consider family. I'd never get tired of them, we're in constant communication and they're my biggest support in life. Generally, intra-quadra friendships fit me the best, but there's nothing surprising about that. That being said, I have friends from every types, there's even conflictors I play vidya games with sometimes. There's many ways to connect with someone regardless of their typing, and what matters is having healthy boundaries and distanciation. For exemple, I wouldn't talk everyday to some people, because it would be draining to me in the long run as misunderstandings would multiply.

[YXPR]

Most of my friends are EIE or LSI so I'd say mirror or activity as well. Mirage is nice too even though not as smooth.

[Adam Strange]

Psychological Compatibility Rating

From Sociotype.com/tools:

1. Duality 100%
2. Identity 91%
3. Activity 89%
4. Mirror 80%

5. Semi-Dual 59%
6. Mirage 59%
7. Kindred 57%
8. Business 57%

9. Beneficiary 43%
10. Supervisee 41%
11. Benfactor 39%
12. Supervisor36%

13.Super Ego 27%
14. Quasi-Iden 18%
15. Extinguish 18%
16. Conflictor 0%

[Adam Strange]

^ I know an IEE woman who divorced her ILE husband and found an SLI Dual. She went from Kindred at 57% to Duality at 100%.
I know an ESI woman who is divorcing her LSI husband and found an LIE Dual. She went from Business at 57% to Duality at 100%.

I am an LIE-Te who divorced an SLI-Te at 48% to an IEI-Fe at 27% to an LSI-0 at 52% and I'm looking for an ESI at 100%.

[Adam Strange]

I don't think those numbers adequately reflect the quality of relationships lol esp. within-quadra. I haven't experienced duality but I have activity (and probably identity). Mirror too ofc. Activity feels great at first but quickly becomes not at all ideal. It's very painful. I wouldn't give it 89%

I've been using that calculator for a long time and I've placed a lot of women I know into it, and it's numbers are generally pretty good. There are, of course, variations from what it predicts and how I feel about the person, but that is to be expected, since Sociotype doesn't capture everything that makes up a relationship.

But overall, I'd say it's a good starting point.

Personally, I have a lot of Identical friends, slightly fewer Mirror friends, no Activity friends, a few Dual friends, and then the numbers start to drop precipitously with more distant types.

[Rebelondeck]

I produced a different set of ratings for partnerships that work well together toward common goals; from my anecdotal experience, it holds more water than the above list. Note that I spelt Maslow wrong but the site didn't permit easy editing when it was active.

http://www.socionics.com/articles/thestrength.html

a.k.a. I/O

[Adam Strange]

Everyone’s personal preferences are going to be unique to them. I married my Supervisor (36% theoretical compatibility) and because we were extremely well-matched in every way aside from sociotype, we stayed happily married for many years. We are still friends, even today.

So the rankings don’t give you the whole picture.

On the other hand, as perfectly as we were matched, socially, intellectually, physically, earning-wise, and intentionally, the marriage still failed.

Your mileage may vary.

[Rebelondeck]

Type is a bit-player when it comes to friendships where both remain totally independent of one another. No pair can have zero compatibility unless they're of a different species (and even then) and I certainly haven't met 100% compatible duals. Duals perceive and rationalize differently; I once dated a dual who turned out to be a religious zealot so there was absolutely no psychological compatibility. In a cognitive sense, duals usually don't muddy each others thinking processes simply because one partner tends to not be interested in the other's role as opposed to, for example, a mirror-pair.

a.k.a. I/O

[BrainlessSquid]

On the other hand, as perfectly as we were matched, socially, intellectually, physically, earning-wise, and intentionally, the marriage still failed.

Your mileage may vary.

This is hard.
What was the main reason the relationship broke from another perspective outside of Socionics?

[Adam Strange]

This is hard.
What was the main reason the relationship broke from another perspective outside of Socionics?

That’s a good question; one that I asked her many times.

When she gave me an answer at all, it was different each time. So she either doesn’t know why she left, or she doesn’t want to say.

If I had to guess, I’d say she left because
1. She was tired of living with a Supervisee, or
2. She was an Avoidant introvert with passive-aggressive tendencies and she just wanted her own space, far from me, or
3. She had been terribly hurt by her father leaving her family when she was thirteen and she wanted me to understand how she felt deep inside by leaving me in turn. In psychology, this is called “Identification with the Victor.” Or
4. She wanted to separate our finances because she thought I made bad spending decisions, or
5. She got tired of being chained up in the sex dungeon.

Lol. Number 5 never happened. That was just to see if you were paying attention. Truthfully, sex between us was infrequent and boring but competent and extremely vanilla.


So, because I still like her and on some level want her to be happy, I found a male Dual for her. He is well off, intelligent, single and he throws parties for his friends. I encouraged her to attend some of these parties. She did, and said he was too scattered for her taste. But I encouraged her to keep an open mind, and in March of last year, she moved in with him.
Which is great. She’s happy and out of my hair.

Last month she sent me a Zoom invitation, which I answered. She appeared on camera in front of a wall with black wallpaper with pink roses on it. I asked her where she was calling from. She replied “From my BF’s bedroom.”
So there is some passive aggressive hostility there, but OK, that’s nothing new.
She was calling to tell me that she was moving back to my city as soon as she could get vaccinated.
So maybe she wants to teach another guy how much pain there is in being abandoned by a loved one. Or maybe he spends too freely, I don’t know. I have a feeling that she’ll never tell him what went wrong.

[The Reality Denialist]

Everyone’s personal preferences are going to be unique to them. I married my Supervisor (36% theoretical compatibility) and because we were extremely well-matched in every way aside from sociotype, we stayed happily married for many years. We are still friends, even today.

So the rankings don’t give you the whole picture.

On the other hand, as perfectly as we were matched, socially, intellectually, physically, earning-wise, and intentionally, the marriage still failed.

Your mileage may vary.

Yeah, LIE's have sort of Feynman like risky approach to conquering stuff. Just check how he manged to chase.

But yes... I would say that my relation with super ego starts run down bit by bit until it becomes unbearable. That said I'm kind of hyper reactive towards those sort of signals if they reach me whereas other people with Fi flexing may want to continue to the bitter end while I have run far away.

[on a peaceful hiatus]

best friend is a harmonising ILE. other friends that I've stayed in contact with over many years are alpha and beta intuitives. gamma and delta friendships are more superficial to me, but I get along very well with ILI and EII. I don't find sensing types very interesting and my contacts with them are more based on pragmatic reasons.

[Rusal]

Semi-duality for me. I keep getting into friendships with women of that type.

but I get along very well with ILI and EII. I don't find sensing types very interesting and my contacts with them are more based on pragmatic reasons.

This reminds me that I should let my IEE friends know I visit them so often for their lofty and non-pragmatic cooking skills.

[Yesein]

My longest and most stable friendship has been with my supervisor LIE. Our friendship is oriented around entertaining and making each other laugh (Emotivist)

They are kind of like a guardian figure that keeps watch of me which I don't mind . Also, they share the same cognitive style (V-S) which is fun. Conversations are flowy and random, no structure. I like their transparency and blunt vibe, which is especially cool on a woman, oh yeah they're also hilarious. LIE and IEE are two types that always put me in stitches. They don't even have to try sometimes. IEE's are Emotivist too.

Favorable
- Supervisor LIE (after a few years of stabilizing)
- Contrary IEE
- Semi-dual SEE
- Mirror EIE
- Activity LSI
- Super ego SLI

Not putting down dual because I'm all or nothing with them. It's a bit "fuck, marry, kill" with them, LOL

[Dr PissBender]

^ I know an IEE woman who divorced her ILE husband and found an SLI Dual. She went from Kindred at 57% to Duality at 100%.
I know an ESI woman who is divorcing her LSI husband and found an LIE Dual. She went from Business at 57% to Duality at 100%.

I am an LIE-Te who divorced an SLI-Te at 48% to an IEI-Fe at 27% to an LSI-0 at 52% and I'm looking for an ESI at 100%.

If ur SLI ex wife is single u gotta tell her about me man, i love older women

Tell her i'm great at fucking and that i'm a musician.

My ex is probs ESI, if i can get in contact with her i could tell her about you LMFAO

[Dr PissBender]

My longest and most stable friendship has been with my supervisor LIE. Our friendship is oriented around entertaining and making each other laugh (Emotivist)

They are kind of like a guardian figure that keeps watch of me which I don't mind . Also, they share the same cognitive style (V-S) which is fun. Conversations are flowy and random, no structure. I like their transparency and blunt vibe, which is especially cool on a woman, oh yeah they're also hilarious. LIE and IEE are two types that always put me in stitches. They don't even have to try sometimes. IEE's are Emotivist too.

Favorable
- Supervisor LIE (after a few years of stabilizing)
- Contrary IEE
- Semi-dual SEE
- Mirror EIE
- Activity LSI
- Super ego SLI

Not putting down dual because I'm all or nothing with them. It's a bit "fuck, marry, kill" with them, LOL

I agree, one of my besties is IEI. Tho my duals can be good besties, but they're so fucking autistic. I also have an SLE bestie, interesting folk.

[nanashi]

Yeah, LIE's have sort of Feynman like risky approach to conquering stuff. Just check how he manged to chase.

(...)That said I'm kind of hyper reactive towards those sort of signals if they reach me whereas other people with Fi flexing may want to continue to the bitter end while I have run far away.

<3@ Feynman-like risky approach.

I wish Feynman had publicly renounced his bigotry. I really enjoy things about him, but if I want to point at him over my joy, I have to go into this long-ass list of exceptions to my admiration

[Adam Strange]

If ur SLI ex wife is single u gotta tell her about me man, i love older women

Tell her i'm great at fucking and that i'm a musician.

My ex is probs ESI, if i can get in contact with her i could tell her about you LMFAO

@Loaded Piss Gun, my SLI-Te ex-wife has an IEE-Ne sister and they get along better than she did with me, but it's still not perfect. She thinks her IEE-Ne sister is fundamentally too scattered. She really needs an IEE-Fi.

Also, you may be great at sex, but her interest in sex is minimal. I think she initiated twice in our entire marriage. You'd do better with her if you promised to do all the housework and take care of the car and the house payments while she reads, naps, makes minimal meals of raw vegetables on her schedule not yours, pets the cat, and goes shopping once in a while for the perfect cream dispenser for the table.

*EDIT*
I think I'll miss her magnificent Si in my next, ESI, GF, whomever that might be. ESI's basically decorate themselves rather than their surroundings, from what little I've seen. My ex's superb taste in pillows, in shoes, in furniture, in just about everything relating to personal comfort and discernment was great to have around and really improved that blank space in my life, but it came at a price. The loss of all that for an ESI is a trade that I'll gladly accept.

[Rebelondeck]

....my SLI-Te ex-wife has an IEE-Ne sister and they get along better than she did with me, but it's still not perfect. She thinks her IEE-Ne sister is fundamentally too scattered. She really needs an IEE-Fi......

I had thought that the best partner for SLI-Ti would be IEE-Ne in order to bring better input-output balance to the relationship. However, I've since come to think that subtype indicates an imbalance that's a handicap to any and all relationships. It's far more difficult for subtypes to find partners who can tolerate their idiosyncrasies. With what you propose, one would think that the Te and Fi subtypes might have some mutual understanding of being rationalization obsessed but that's doubtful; the IEE-Fi would tend to be more of a lone wolf while the SLI-Te would want to chat with someone who is more present.

a.k.a. I/O

[Adam Strange]

I had thought that the best partner for SLI-Ti would be IEE-Ne in order to bring better input-output balance to the relationship. However, I've since come to think that subtype indicates an imbalance that's a handicap to any and all relationships. It's far more difficult for subtypes to find partners who can tolerate their idiosyncrasies. With what you propose, one would think that the Te and Fi subtypes might have some mutual understanding of being rationalization obsessed but that's doubtful; the IEE-Fi would tend to be more of a lone wolf while the SLI-Te would want to chat with someone who is more present.

a.k.a. I/O

How did you come to those last conclusions?

[Rebelondeck]

How did you come to those last conclusions?

That's difficult to express. Ep-types externalize in an information acquisition sense so are proactive inputters (extroverts?) but they prefer to rationalize in isolation. They rarely can think effectively within group but they'll milk group settings of any and all information, which they may eventually go away to think about (Ne/Se-subtypes are much less inclined to do so). Te-subtypes need people engaged more than normal (>50% more) in order to do what they want to do most which is group-rationalize so two Te-subtypes would likely sync much better because they're both brain stormers even though they'll lack proper amounts of fresh input. Fi-subtypes simply need more than the usual amount of alone time which is contrary to Te-subtype needs. Ne-subtypes would likely spend more time milking Te-subtypes who would at the least have someone engaged; however, one has to realize that each partner of a dual relationship is seeking different things when they actually do engage. And, input-output balance is best for both.

a.k.a. I/O

[Scarlett]

This must vary from person to person.

But for me, for dating material:
1. Semi-dual
2. Mirage
3. Contrary
4. Kindred

For marriage material:
1. Dual / Activity
2. Mirror
3. Benefit
4. Look a like

And best for friendshp:
All of those 8 points above, plus Quasi-identity.

[FreelancePoliceman]

My best friendships have been, in no particular order, semiduals (EIE), kindred (LSI), activity (SEI), mirror (ILE), and lookalike (EII).

Also, I tend to get along fairly well with quasi-identicals (ILI) and superego (ESI) types, but those relations tend not to go anywhere.

I imagine I’d tend to do well with my benefactor (IEI) and supervisee (IEE) but haven’t really known too many of them on a personal level.

[Sol]

duality
if to understand a friendship as sharing one life together. the more degree - the more of friendship is there
friendship is more met among pairs

people make pals relations for limited cooperatations as entertainment and jobs and may name it friendship too
"friendship" in the sense of concrete useful help. to do a specific job which needs similar skills - identity may be better for such task
if you need a help in something - a type strong in that region may help you more

[Alomoes]

The best intertype relationship for friendship is the one you make. I have yet to tell what my friends are, but they are most certainly not in my quadra.

[Bethanyclaire]

I produced a different set of ratings for partnerships that work well together toward common goals; from my anecdotal experience, it holds more water than the above list. Note that I spelt Maslow wrong but the site didn't permit easy editing when it was active.

http://www.socionics.com/articles/thestrength.html

a.k.a. I/O

reposting for context,

I've been thinking that friendships/ maybe healthy long term relationships work a bit like this. (hard to explain)

for me, IEI

SLE- resembles good LIE energy
SLI- resembles good LII energy
SEE- resembles good EIE energy
ILE- resembles good LSE energy
ILI- resembles good LSI energy
SEI- resembles good EII energy

IEE- resembles good ESI energy
IEI- resembles good ESE energy
LSI- resembles good ILE energy
LSE- resembles good ILI energy
LII- resembles good SLE energy
ESI- resembles good IEE energy
ESE- resembles good IEI energy
LIE- resembles good SLI energy
EII- resembles good SEE energy
EIE- resembles good SEI energy

however, the types can sometimes switch to resembling their contrary type

so..

SLE- resembles LIE energy/ LII energy
SLI- resembles LII energy/ LIE energy
SEE- resembles EIE energy/ EII energy
ILE- resembles LSE energy/ LSI energy
ILI- resembles LSI energy/ LSE energy
SEI- resembles EII energy/ EIE energy

IEE- resembles ESI energy/ ESE energy
IEI- resembles ESE energy/ ESI energy
LSI- resembles ILE energy/ ILI energy
LSE- resembles ILI energy/ ILE energy
LII- resembles SLE energy/ SLI energy
ESI- resembles IEE energy/ IEI energy
ESE- resembles IEI energy/ IEE energy
LIE- resembles SLI energy/ SLE energy
EII- resembles SEE energy/ SEI energy
EIE- resembles SEI energy/ SEE energy