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Thread: QuasiIdentity INFj-INFp

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    Default QuasiIdentity INFj-INFp

    I don't know many INFps in real life actually the most I know I met on the personality forums and so I have a pretty good understanding of this type. It's the rarest type so I can't complain. I like INFps online and I had one friend in my teenage that I tentatively typed INFp afterward.
    One of my last crushes was an IEI . Perhaps it was a persistent attempt for us both to make it work and the only thing for sure is a mutual curiosity and the want to make it work. I am not certain our failure to communicate in the happiest ways is caused by Fi and Fe clash and that's why it makes so much sense to see if that's also what others have experienced.
    He said it was hard to read me and know what I feel. I felt sad and disarmed by his need to hear words and statements and not being able to see through me. He said I tried too hard to hide behind ambiguity and nebulous meanings. I thought he didn't realize how unrefined it can be and how much he kills otherwise. He accused me of being too peaceful and trying to get along with many people and hearing many sides. I felt he was fake for the sake of having a good time in the moment or for other more interested base reasons and not for the good of a relationship or because he cared about where someone is coming from. He said I was selfish and narcissistic. I found him the same although about different things. I don't want to go on and on . I'm open to give details if anyone is interested. Before that let me know if Fe and Fi relationships are doomed (even if between NF s ....) and we should all only look for duals and activity partners .
    Last edited by Amber; 01-10-2015 at 01:51 AM.

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    I dont believe Infp is the rarest at all considering infj is the rarest for men and entp (or j) is the rarest for women.

    The positive upsides to this relationship is that their creatives are the others ignoring. So in group settings seeing them interact with others stimulates your base in a way that allows you to adapt new behaviors into your psyche. Its good for growth in that regard: Social flexibility. However one on one you guys can agree with each other but disagree with the methods or viewpoints that color your similarities. So being intimate, open, frank, and vulnerable, is difficult.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    well to be frank, I sort of emotionally feel that infjs are looking at me in this pathetic condescending tone. Like "Oh you little girl you, you poor you thing!" And it makes me afraid to say anything sometimes, why even try if everything I say is going to get interpreted as that I am weak and not good enough for them? It's like all infjs in my life have treated me that way. It's not assholeish exactly but it's weird and uncomfortable and I don't like it.

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    My oldest, "best" friend is IEI. We went to a rave together yestereday and run into an art school friend of hers in the queue. I think the way she introduced me was pretty descriptive:

    "This is Agarina, she's one of my favourite creatures in the world. She's not an artist like us, she's all about philosophy and politics. We're very different but we like to do stuff together and to be honest I don't actually know how we manage to communicate with each other but we just do!"
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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    Yeah. Being IEI, I know the feeling. An INFJ is my friend. We are incredibly different, him being aggressive and perfectionist, while I am whimsical and let things pass. He gets very angry when things don't go his way. He self describes it as OCD.

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    I don't know , some replies in this thread make me wonder if that guy was truly INFp . Isn't INFp the MTBTI INFJ? That type is for sure .

    He wasn't whimsical and "weak" . He was in a way more direct and aggressive than me , expected to get people play the tune he wanted like a kid some times , no matter how that meshed with their own wants and personality . He was easily enraged and didn't hide it . I'm not like that , it's more like I sort out my feelings on my own and ask myself is I should really be feeling what I am .

    We had this constant misunderstanding of each other's motives in spite of an emotionally replenishing communication . It was very easy to scan the other's mood and vibe and respond and yet we stumbled when we had to get to more underlying motivations and even character . It was like he always misread my intentions and expected me to act like Fe to speak his language . In the rest we had a lot of common intellectual interests too ( as both intuitive ). That was probably one of my deepest kinds of communication , excepting the INFjs I know.

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    i keep reading the title of this thread Quasididdly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    I dont believe Infp is the rarest at all considering infj is the rarest for men and entp (or j) is the rarest for women.

    The positive upsides to this relationship is that their creatives are the others ignoring. So in group settings seeing them interact with others stimulates your base in a way that allows you to adapt new behaviors into your psyche. Its good for growth in that regard: Social flexibility. However one on one you guys can agree with each other but disagree with the methods or viewpoints that color your similarities. So being intimate, open, frank, and vulnerable, is difficult.
    I dont think any type is rarer than another. Anyone has a 1/16th chance of being a certain type. If any type seems less prevalent it might be either because those types dont happen to frequent your milieu, you're oblivious to that type, or because of mistyping, or because a certain type tends to "hide" e.g. likes to be a homebody, or is reclusive.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Thanks @Bluebird for the long input ! That's so close to what I experienced with that type ...it's eerie. I didn't have the same kind of communication with all INFps naturally , that happens with every type I guess . But the story you told about your friend overlaps so well with my relationship with "that" IEI . And you said it perfectly , how that insight into people 's darker and brighter sides looked . That was one of the best proof for "quasi Identity" , because both FiNe and NiFe can read people well and know even the most obscure sides and secrets of the mind ...just differently . We had so many things in common and we read and liked even the same books , sometimes without previously discussing it . Yet there was something that made us iremediably different too . The IEI was very suspicious , almost paranoid about people and me some times . Probably because of my Fi curtains . He used to accuse me of the craziest things some times and lash against me . I think all in all I am not that dark and competitive as the IEI and I love humanity more . He was E4 w 3 or E 3 probably . It rang a bell so well , like what you said about manipulating others' emotions . I am more accepting of people's feelings and sympathies without trying to pull strings to change what they feel or use that against them . Very illuminating post , I appreciate it so much .

    On the other topic of MBTI - socionics correlation , I don't know for sure . I think as well that it should be only about the j-p switch to make sense . Well If anyone has another theory and good arguments for it , I 'm open to hear it , no problem .
    Last edited by Amber; 01-12-2015 at 12:44 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebird View Post
    I had an IEI friend when I was younger. We vaguely keep in touch now through goodreads, pinterest, and fb. She was a really good friend. I wish we had been able to stay in touch more. We share a lot of opinions on things like feminism, religion, animal rights, and social issues. I find myself agreeing with most of her pins on Pinterest. We also like somewhat similar books. But usually all for different reasons.

    My IEI friend is actually the one that got me interested in typology. She went somewhere that tested her for her MBTI type in our area. They typed her INFJ. My IEI friend's mother thought knowing my IEI's friends type would help her make a decision as to what major she would be most compatible with to choose for college. I don't really know how much MBTI is suppose to correlate with Socionics. I don't think any one can say, confidently, since there aren't any objective parameters to type ones-self to begin with. There's a correlation chart I've seen, and supposedly the j/p switch doesn't work for everyone. If the j/p switch doesn't work, it's possible one has been mistyped to begin with. You are probably going to get a different opinion from everyone on that. Some will say the functions transfer smoothly, some will say its a completely different system, some will say the j/p switch didn't work for them, some will say socionics is only in our minds.. etc. I think the functions transfer smoothly and that since socionics is better at explaining, if one finds the functions don't transfer smoothly after reading more into the theory, then they were likely mistyped in MBTI.

    As to how well my IEI friend and I got along, we only had a rift once when we were playing doubles tennis together. She thought I wasn't trying hard enough and that I didn't care if I won or lost. She wanted a more competitive partner. I think it frustrated her that I didn't give a crap, because, honestly, I didn't care about winning. and she knew that.

    From my perception of her, I noticed in a group of people, she would sit back and watch, and I could tell she observed a lot about everybody. It was like people were playing instruments with their own unique music that she automatically absorbed, using it to build this complex understanding of the tunes, notes, and the core meaning and motivation behind each individual song that had eventually formed this web of emotional understanding. From this web, she could conduct people by pulling on their emotional strings individually or unify everyone together in a symphony. I think, if she had the desire, she could be a wonderful manipulator. However, I don't ever see her stooping to that level. But I know she had the capacity for it. It's like being an actress, she had all these personalities inside of her. She was, in fact, literally, an actress, and a pretty good one too. She had the potential to be a dangerous weapon. lol.

    She did seem to understood people so well without judging them. It was as if she could see through everyone, their darkness and their beauty, and just accept that. She wasn't one to shy away from the dark and nitty gritty depths of a person. I liked that about her. She always wanted to pull back the layers and dig deeper and deeper. She was always asking what she called 'deep questions' and wanted to have 'deep conversations.' I wasn't surprised when she went on to be a psychologist.

    She'd always give me good advice and would watch my back. She often dragged me away from dangerous situations or people she thought were harmful that I naively walked into a few times. I'd give people the benefit of the doubt, and she'd take one look at someone, and it's like she could see a line of dominos falling before her, and she'd pluck me right out of the way. I'd understand why she did it without asking, but I wouldn't have understood that creepy Ni stuff nearly as well if I hadn't been friends with her.

    There was also this distant coolness about her hidden underneath a sociable, friendly exterior. She was often smiling on the outside , but I think a lot bothered her that she didn't show. It was as if throwing an insult at her wouldn't crack the exterior, but on the inside were the cracks and broken glass, an accumulation of criticisms that were very damaging to her that she allowed to fester. She had that kind vulnerability about her.

    She seemed quite a bit different than a lot of people I've ever met. At times, I felt as if she was being fake on the surface, but yet there was a lot more going on underneath. Of course, I think everyone is like this to an extent, but I think it varies as to how far it goes and how much activity is going on at those depths.

    She may have been a more atypical IEI, a product of her environment that demanded perfection. Although, I believe people that share the same type can be quite different depending on a plethora of reasons. She was most likely of the IEI-Fe variety and reminded me a lot of Sylvia Plath. Ironically, Plath is one of her favorite authors.

    I'm sure I've known other IEI's, but I found her hard to get to know at first. I think we never would have spoken to each other if it wasn't for having a mutual friend. She didn't let people into her circle easily. Even though she seemed non-judgemental about humanity in general, she was reserved with others, until, it seemed, she decided they were worthy to let in.
    Just, WOW! I recently started paying more attention to your posts and I love the way you write with depth and understanding. In ways your writing reminds me of the way my EII sister writes and helps me remember one of the reasons I appreciate her so much.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    I dont believe Infp is the rarest at all considering infj is the rarest for men and entp (or j) is the rarest for women.
    This is bullshit. I know so many INFj men and even more ENTp women. In general INFj is a rare type, but ENTp is one of the most common. Gender plays no role.

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    Also, I find the IJ temperament in INFjs very attractive. My current boss is EII, he looks like Shakespeare (who is definitely EII>IEI), and has very similar body language to almost every other EII I've known. Most things about them, including their Se-polr, is really adorable to me, like the way he just can't make decisions and wants to ponder other possibilities, even the ones we've already went over and eliminated. However, if I was the boss and he was working for me, he would probably frustrate me a lot.

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