Is it destructive?
Is it destructive?
Sylvia Plath — 'I desire the things which will destroy me in the end.'
Some can be cold and dismissive. Others can get riled up and vengeful. Maybe it depends on their e-type.
No I should rewrite that it can be bad but depends on so many things, love, depth of love, can drive jealousy for a lot of people regardless of type not just SLE. I guess the magnatude of the response can be outwardly vocal by t so can my tantrums. I just tell people to shut up loudly lol anyway No would be the right answer. Mel Gibson's outward reactio would probably be the most extreme of this case
Last edited by Maritsa; 12-23-2014 at 10:15 PM.
Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
anyway, to address the OP: I don't think SLE necessarily suffers from destructive jealousy. like, I don't think it's a type-defining characteristic. but I do believe the thought of losing control can drive them to do irrational things. I'm basing this on personal experience, but it's also consistent with what's been said about Aggressors in general:
- Sometimes is openly arrogant and aggressive and expects complete
mental submittal from others
- Sometimes has a very victim like look and uses indirect means to
control the partner. In the "heart" is as aggressive and control
oriented as the openly aggressive version. Can turn openly
aggressive if the "victim" refuses to submit to indirect
- Hates signs of weakness in themself
- Has "I am in control" attitude
But is it type related? Maybe. BTW this female SLE is sx first for sure.
Jealousy is far too complicated to attach to a function.
It can be Se or Fi seeking or anything or none of these.
I always seen jealousy as a sign something is wrong, why does the partner create it and is the person experiencing it a covetous person in general.
Also I found once a person with jealousy was projecting their desire or action to cheat.
Innocent, naive, charming, and reverse phycology manipulation. They make you feel terrible and will somehow try and make you responsible for their jealous feelings. Even if unfounded.
Why should they be jealous a person would think, didn't they just the other night flirt harmlessly themselves? Anyway, the types of jealousy SLE become isn't about flirting, SLE become jealous about who you are spending your time with and for how long. Clearly it should be with them and at all times. "Why are you spending time with them and having fun with them and not with me?" "You don't like me anymore".
Can't you read their minds?!
Would they ruin a person though? Only as collateral damage with the initial emotions. Luckily SLE and most betas in my opinion don't harbour grudges and like to forgive and forget as long as you don't continue the behaviour that upset them in the first place.
When collateral damage starts a wise dual will just swim away for a time to let things cool off. SLE will notice your absence and realize life is sunnier with you around.
Both parties realize the entire event has brought them closer.
Last edited by wacey; 12-24-2014 at 06:47 PM.
Insecurity is a contributing factor I agree.
To the OP, one good thing about SLE jealousy is that you are going to know they are jealous really quickly. IME, they don't bottle stuff in and hide their feelings. What that means is that problems can be worked out in real time and like I said before they don't hold grudges.
If you are wondering do SLE grip further and try to control you? I'd like to see how far they get with an IEI if that was their method.
I know SLEs are competitive in the professional field.
I was wondering about jealousy from the romantic point of view.
Also I have no specific questions based on real life experience.
Basically I was asking for the dynamic of reactions, something close to what @wacey explained, for instance.
Sylvia Plath — 'I desire the things which will destroy me in the end.'
They're pretty jealous in romantic relationships in general. I've seen them throw maniacal violent (at east verbally) fits. But I think that's very much related to stackings and e-type (the ones that did this seemed to be 8w7 sx ). As Aylen said, the other kind is probably also jealous, but more self-controlled, so they just cold-bloodily dismiss you and put you on ignore. I definitely think they're very sensitive in this area and don't react well to intruding on their property, so try not to piss them off
Big shout out to Gulenko
Differentiates people by categories, building a certain relation to each: a) confronting b) indifferent c) sympathetic d) familiar and amiable.
Yo Diggity Dogs Have Some Motherf**ckin' Regards!!!,
Clowns & Entropy
Ah, allright, I get it now, thanks Clowns.
fatti non foste a viver come bruti ma per seguir virtute e canoscenza
You guys are talking about ABUSIVE behaviour. It is not necessarily how ALL SLE's act. My best friend who claims to love me, does not even get jealous he just says that he "wants for me to be happy". SLEs do not HAVE to be abusive, please remember that IEIs and anyone else in a relationship with them and don't think that they are all the same
My SLE says he doesn't get jealous, he calls it being "protective". He gets "protective" (lol) over little things, which I find funny.
I get the impression that in past relationships when he would get truly jealous he would cut the girl off. So like @Aylen said, cold and dismissive.
One SLE I knew was in a love triangle with a girl and her boyfriend -- when he found out about this he became so jealous that he harassed the girl at parties and challenged the boyfriend to fight. He didn't fight the guy out of respect to the girl. Instead he slept with girl's best friend to make her jealous. This is young immature SLE logic.
I relate to the cold/dismissive kind of SLE, yeahI get the impression that in past relationships when he would get truly jealous he would cut the girl off. So like @Aylen said, cold and dismissive.
If it's not about entire cutting off (yet) then I can do destructive things though. I don't really think much in that sort of anger, just some minimal logic is kept. Sometimes it's a colder kind of anger that's more logical and calculating and so are the resulting actions. It depends...
I do go by something tangible though that sets me off, I don't assume by default that my partner would be unfaithful so I don't see myself as a very jealous type of person.
Last edited by Myst; 01-02-2015 at 05:09 AM.
ME: Why are you grumpy?
HIM: I'm not grumpy.
ME: Okay. (gives him a kiss)
HIM: Those guys were looking at you and then when they saw me pull up they looked away.
ME: What guys? I didn't notice there were guys.
To me this behavior looks a little jealous but in his words, “That's not jealous, that's me protecting my girl.” It's not an off putting jealousy. It's cute and sometimes a little amusing, if anything. Typically, I'll just start nibbling on his ear or something until he gets over it (which takes about a second).
OK, I don't relate to these things but maybe it's a male thing.
The destructive version isn't as fully cold, not in the dismissive way.Fortunately, I've never experienced his cold and dismissive side, so I can't really elaborate on it further. I don't know if it becomes destructive.
Lol cool thenHe doesn't think of himself as jealous, either. And he's not really, not in any way that negatively affects our relationship. Just in those silly little ways.
I’m not sure I would call it “jealousy” if we’re talking about territory reactions, I’d rather call it protection.
I have a couple of SLE friends and direct experience.
We read on profiles that SLEs do not withdraw from using aggression when they want things their way and that’s pretty much what they do. I never saw any of them become right out violent, but rather aggressive (verbally and emotionally).
SLE jealousy looks like a tornado, it’s an iron fist against unruly behavior.
How to calm it down… honesty and transparency, take the heart in the hand and show him/her it belongs to them.
Anyway, no, I wouldn't call it destructive, bu I'm probably not objective since I tend to view them as kids who’ve been stolen their lollipop when they’re angry