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Thread: LSEs and being "a real man" (ESTj)

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default LSEs and being "a real man" (ESTj)

    I've wanted to write about what I've sometimes referred to wanting an LSE that's a "real man" and I have some good examples now from the interaction between myself and my bf. I've found the following examples from his behavior a representative of these characteristics. One day he asked me what I was doing the next day, as he often does as to keep track of what's going on, and I told him "I have to give a fasting blood test at 8:30am." He calculates all the actions, saying, "so you can't eat for 12 hours before then and we have about an hour to get you food, baby." Off we go to get food, any food, and plus or minus I had dinner by around 8:45pm.

    Another example is when I try to do certain things around him he won't let me do them. He packs and carries all the groceries.

    When he was in pain once and you could see that in his eyes, he kept saying "oh well, it is what it is." I felt so touched that he didn't pay it too much attention and dealt with it even though he had stuff to do, never really complaining about it but explaining where it was.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Infinity Persephone's Avatar
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    This is looooove.
    Maybe your bf is just a nice person and it's not type related.


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    Olduvai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    When he was in pain once and you could see that in his eyes, he kept saying "oh well, it is what it is."
    Si-ignoring questionmark

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heavynurse View Post
    Si-ignoring questionmark
    nope; where would you put the Te if you ignored the si? lol you're suggesting that he's TeNi?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heavynurse View Post
    Si-ignoring questionmark
    He always tells me to rest or relax. he weighs out everything and organizes before he starts any task...plans first.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Sounds like he cares about you M

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    fwiw i can emulate this behaviour, and we're not duals.

    although my first thought is why you're having a blood test so early in the morning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    nope; where would you put the Te if you ignored the si? lol you're suggesting that he's TeNi?
    Te isn't even part of the equation.


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    He always tells me to rest or relax.
    gentlemanly behavior is NTR, IMO.


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    he weighs out everything and organizes before he starts any task...plans first.
    sounds like he might be a Farsighted type. doesn't mean he's LSE, though.


    my guess? SLE. (because I still don't think you're EII.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by heavynurse View Post
    Te isn't even part of the equation.




    gentlemanly behavior is NTR, IMO.




    sounds like he might be a Farsighted type. doesn't mean he's LSE, though.


    my guess? SLE. (because I still don't think you're EII.)
    Is your point then that because he can continue through pain that he can't be Si, you've heard of Arnold Schwarzenegger? I wonder if your reasons for Maritsa not being EII are equally convincing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    Is your point then that because he can continue through pain that he can't be Si
    no, just that him dismissing his physical pain by saying, "oh well, it is what it is" might point to Si-ignoring.


    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    you've heard of Arnold Schwarzenegger?
    of course I have. so what?


    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    I wonder if your reasons for Maritsa not being EII are equally convincing.
    you probably wouldn't think so. good thing I don't care about what you think.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heavynurse View Post
    no, just that him dismissing his physical pain by saying, "oh well, it is what it is" might point to Si-ignoring.
    Then apart from someone continuing through some level of pain, what else points to SLE?

    Is there any point in asking this question?

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    the difference between him and other duals that I've dated is the initiative. I feel that most other LSE have their d**** wrapped so tightly around their "independence" that they just don't know how to take the lead on the Te stuff for the relationship.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heavynurse View Post
    no, just that him dismissing his physical pain by saying, "oh well, it is what it is" might point to Si-ignoring.




    of course I have. so what?




    you probably wouldn't think so. good thing I don't care about what you think.
    "you should go home tonight baby. the traffic in the morning is bad and it will take you forever to get to glendale. But, I don't want you to go home, it's late and it's not safe to drive at this time. No, you should probably go home since I don't want you to wake up at 6 and not get to sleep. No, I want you to stay, I just want to take you into the room and . No you should go home, I'm in pain and I'm not going to be good company."

    Indecisive, reliable, harsh sometimes, factors everything into a decision, watches movement of thing around him, "I watched 15 cars go by and they still ave not done x"
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    fwiw i can emulate this behaviour, and we're not duals.

    although my first thought is why you're having a blood test so early in the morning.
    I can understand that, however it's that suspicious "why" that makes me feel bad. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough or that I don't measure up as a human being to be possible sick, like I should be strong enough to not have one in the first place. It makes me feel all sorts of things that I don't like to feel. In reality he can factor in why I would need a blood test because he remembers facts about me. I told him about my liver and my thyroid. He diagnoses himself and everyone else before they have a chance to see the doctor lol. Maybe if you know the why beforehand you would be less suspicious? Like I've said my SLE tried to diagnose my hand problem he said it's carpal tunnel which wasn't the problem, funny enough; he gets a lot wrong. My bf was right on, he said it's an injury probably tendonitis.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 12-23-2014 at 01:38 PM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    Fasting blood tests are typically 8 hours of NPO (save for water) not 12.

    He sounds like you like him.
    He said they say 8 but I should do 12
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    The Quiet Individualist Waster's Avatar
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    Clearly you haven't had an SLI of my caliber.






    As we reach for the stars, we must put away childish things; gods, spirits and other phantasms of the brain. Reality is cruel and unforgiving, yet we must steel ourselves and secure the survival of our race through the unflinching pursuit of science and technology.
    - Stellaris

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I just want to take you into the room and
    Aggressor erotic attitude/10


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    No you should go home, I'm in pain and I'm not going to be good company.
    Fe-valuing/10


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    harsh sometimes
    Fi-PoLR/10


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    factors everything into a decision
    Farsighted/10

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heavynurse View Post
    Aggressor erotic attitude/10




    Fe-valuing/10




    Fi-PoLR/10




    Farsighted/10
    Oh he's SLE? Ok! Yum...best SLE that I ever dated. I'm keeping him. Thanks!
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Oh he's SLE? Ok! Yum...best SLE that I ever dated. I'm keeping him. Thanks!
    so you finally agree you aren't EII?

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    Quote Originally Posted by heavynurse View Post
    so you finally agree you aren't EII?
    You pick and choose info to support your idea og me. It's clear In how much info that you've ignored here. You can't admit that can you? You're also so narrow in the scope of what you take in that you have not considered how I'm really like as a person. I'm not IEI because I'm compassionate and I lack the selfisb acqusition of goods and property to secure my own self from my partner. I've never been in a relationship where I used forms of stalking blackmail and other malicious activities against others. That if you had the common openness to read about the interaction between IEI and LSE in the article thread you would find that is how IEI are like when things go bad.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    You pick and choose info to support your idea og me. It's clear In how much info that you've ignored here. You can't admit that can you? You're also so narrow in the scope of what you take in that you have not considered how I'm really like as a person. I'm not IEI because I'm compassionate and I lack the selfisb acqusition of goods and property to secure my own self from my partner. I've never been in a relationship where I used forms of stalking blackmail and other malicious activities against others. That if you had the common openness to read about the interaction between IEI and LSE in the article thread you would find that is how IEI are like when things go bad.
    What's an EII like when it's bad?

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    What's an EII like when it's bad?
    We leave with nothing in our hand.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    We leave with nothing in our hand.
    Seems like IEI have it better covered then.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    Seems like IEI have it better covered then.
    They are more realistic not idealistic. I get into a relationship not gor a position of any kind but for love, trust, care, bond. Ideals that I strongly uphold and once broken, it does me no good to have shit stuff with empty meanings. Human connections have meanings stuff is for show.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    They are more realistic not idealistic. I get into a relationship not gor a position of any kind but for love, trust, care, bond. Ideals that I strongly uphold and once broken, it does me no good to have shit stuff with empty meanings. Human connections have meanings stuff is for show.
    I'll show you the money and have a million EIIs

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    I'll show you the money and have a million EIIs
    Good luck with that; )
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I await the next breakup and rapid boyfriend re-typing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    I await the next breakup and rapid boyfriend re-typing.
    I don'y expect anything decent from you pple. Straight from the shit squad!
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I don'y expect anything decent from you pple. Straight from the shit squad!
    This will be, what, the 3rd/5th time I've seen it happen? Seriously I've given up counting this childish misuse and abuse of socionics.

    So hum yeah, good luck; because by god Maritsa, you really need it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    This will be, what, the 3rd/5th time I've seen it happen? Seriously I've given up counting this childish misuse and abuse of socionics.

    So hum yeah, good luck; because by god Maritsa, you really need it.
    Thanks for the luck. Now move on!
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    You can't admit that can you?
    lol, of course I can. part of the reason I do what I do is becuz it annoys you. I still don't think you're EII, though.

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    I'll show you the money and have a million EIIs



    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    @heavynurse, are you clever enough to realise you just blatantly admitted to trolling?

  34. #34
    Olduvai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    @heavynurse, are you clever enough to realise you just blatantly admitted to trolling?
    lol, I considered saying, "it's so much fun to troll you", but I decided that was a bad idea. evidently it didn't matter. I can't help it, she just gets so flustered.

  35. #35
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heavynurse View Post
    lol, I considered saying, "it's so much fun to troll you", but I decided that was a bad idea. evidently it didn't matter. I can't help it, she just gets so flustered.
    this is type related.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    this is type related.
    you think so?

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I'll think on that later. I gotta think about this one thing now. what was I going to do? Oh yeah....so I noticed something that struck a "oh wow" moment. LSE love to tell people to do "go do x, y, z" I've often said that in duality the dual pair will sometimes think or do what the other pair wanted when they are open and receptive of the other in a loving way. I took my bf's mom flowers and the following week I walked in and grabbed them to refresh them. i placed them back and my bf walked in the living room and said "why don't you put water in the flowers?" I said, "I have already honey." He looked at them and we had this moment of silence like "wow, it's done." I had already done that. It was that moment. Like wow How did I know that needed to be done and I just did it without thinking a second thought about it. And he asked about it. Strange moment. Another moment, when my dual cousin and I were taking my cousin who has cancer to the museum I locked the gate promptly after she pulled out of the drive way. My dual cousin got out of the car and said "close the gate" which I had already done. It's as if in my dual pair I just do the things that need to get done naturally so I'm kind of ahead of the demand curve of the LSE requests.

    It's such a blank state to realize what needed to be done got done. It's done and there's this moment of "oh!" Silence. *well, what now?*
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I'll think on that later.
    cool, I look forward to hearing (reading?) what you have to say.


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    LSE love to tell people to do "go do x, y, z"
    eh, I don't think that's type-related.


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I've often said that in duality the dual pair will sometimes think or do what the other pair wanted when they are open and receptive of the other in a loving way.
    yeah, it's like you unknowingly satisfy your dual's desires by just being yourself.


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I took my bf's mom flowers and the following week I walked in and grabbed them to refresh them. i placed them back and my bf walked in the living room and said "why don't you put water in the flowers?" I said, "I have already honey." He looked at them and we had this moment of silence like "wow, it's done." I had already done that. It was that moment. Like wow How did I know that needed to be done and I just did it without thinking a second thought about it. And he asked about it. Strange moment.
    I think a) you're reading too much into this, and b) such moments can also happen with non-dual pairs like activity partners, semi-duals, and especially benefit partners (because benefit partners match up in terms of positivism/negativism and process/result).

  39. #39
    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
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    Flower water.

  40. #40
    ■■■■■■ Radio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    the difference between him and other duals that I've dated is the initiative. I feel that most other LSE have their d**** wrapped so tightly around their "independence" that they just don't know how to take the lead on the Te stuff for the relationship.
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Oh he's SLE? Ok! Yum...best SLE that I ever dated. I'm keeping him. Thanks!
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I don'y expect anything decent from you pple. Straight from the shit squad!
    hahahhaha maritsa i love you so much. never change.

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