Member Questionnaire 1 (Khiroz)What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty to me ... Is to see personality in something, you know? That the creator's personality reaches out through and touches you. For example, if I was to have a tattoo (and this is something I very much considered), I would have something that is meaningful to me, therefore it holds beauty that *I* see. Something that causes an emotional reaction within me. And love? .. Love is .. Truly wanting to be the best 'you' for the person. Love is to REALLY try, with all that you've got, to be cautious and understanding, to unleash all your stored up energy for the person/people.What are your most important values?
Respect. Definitely respect because it applies to almost everything -- to be honest with someone is to respect them enough to say the truth and not be hypocritical. To listen to the person is to respect that they too have their own opinions and feelings -- just respect.Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I'm not entirely sure. I've listened a lot to what my family has to offer -- what anyone, in fact, has to offer. But with such little proof all I can do is HOPE that what I believe in is real, and saying that it is, that I hypothetically find evidence, then I'd say that I believe in reeincarnation. I believe that we all have a purpose here, and that "destiny" might not be set in stone but you're on the right path when you begin and if you don't listen to the warnings, you will drift out of it. So instead of becoming an amazing writer, you end up being a junkie because life tried to set you to the right path and you refused to listen. Beliefs are complicated.. I like to keep an open mind (though I really, really hope karma's a thing).Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I've researched a lot about World War 1 and 2 and, honestly, I have no opinion about what power is or what could solve it because I don't believe that humans will ever achieve absolute peace, regardless of how much we try.What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
About just about anything, I think.. As long as there's a way to make a deep opinion about it and listen and have a *friendly* argument, I'm all down for talking. Psychology, metaphysics, world wars, history, future.. I really just love a lot of subjects. Mostly the ones that require deep though and actual sharing of opinions.Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Oh, oh, oh yeah! I love medicine, I really do. And if I hadn't been born squeamish, I would've been a doctor. Though I'm not sure if I'm focused on my body, I don't think I'm focused or ignorant of it. It's just there and when it's loud, I hear it.What do you think of daily chores?
I think they're necessary but they really, really suck.Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I love Memoirs of a Geisha and Inglorious Basterds... I also love The Hunger Games. I love the Avengers and really intense psychological movies --- I really like movies, basically. From kids movies like Hercules to heavy movies like changeling.What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
Family things really make me emotional. The thought of losing my brother or mother really, really hit the spot for me and put me in an immediate weak emotional state. Otherwise, I don't think I cry very often, unless it involves animals. What makes me smile? Intelligent humor, silly humor, my brother, epic things... A lot of things make me smile.Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
This is something I have struggled a lot with in my life, the idea of 'fitting in' and feeling as if I belong. I only feel it with my younger brother and mother and with one of my ex girlfriends who unfortunately is no longer part of my life. Otherwise.. I tend to feel very alone, very often. It's just the lack of connection when we're talking, as I ramble on and on about the things I love or the things that anger me and they aren't pulled into the conversation, and instead change it to something more trivial like, "I miss high school" or "south park is on". The only person I ever felt listened and was just as enthusiastic about interesting subjects was her, my ex.What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
My anxiety really irritates me because it makes me dependent on others very often to calm me down, and because of it, a lot of people see me as a young woman who needs help and love rather than an woman who is becoming an adult (I mean seriously, I'm 21).What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
People see my curiousity as a strength, mostly. That or my "compassion and maturity". I personally like my curiousity a lot more.In what areas of your life would you like help?
My motivation -- I need a goal, something to spark my life up. I need something that'll make me *want* to go out there in the world, to try to connect to people again.Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
A lot, have been feeling that way ever since I was about 15 actually. My reaction to it? I isolated myself when I turned 18 and eventually drove myself into a mild breakdown, ending up in me carving my skin in an attempt to "cut" and release stress. My brother found out 4 days later and I was so embarrassed I never did it again and instead tried to organize my life and get myself together.What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I like people who are elegant and polite, "not lazy ppl who dont even try u kno?"... I like people who WANT to learn, people who like teaching and learning. I specially like people who aren't held back by silly fears like "if I do this or that I will be seen as less of a man". Basically, I like people who I'd consider to be "smart"... And strong, so they can make up for my lack of courage.How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I feel very uneasy and suspicious when it comes to love, I am very cynical about it. I suppose because my family seems to be drowned in divorces everywhere and they all end up explaining what a waste of time it was. Sex, on the other hand, I find releasing and .. a very normal thing, very natural.If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
My main concern is that my anxiety would turn me into an obsessive parent and I won't let them have their independence, or I'll embarrass them by 'mommying' them too much. I'm also very scared by the idea of their teenager years and all the mistakes people do in them, like drugs. But after so much listening to those stories and learning about these subjects, I'd try to do what they say is best and just unconditionally support them and .. Try to ride it out with them. I constantly think about this and try to make notes on what to remember to teach my children, things I have learned that I feel are important, like self love and self respect, etc.A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
It depends on how ridiculous I think it is. Not long ago, one of the guys I've recently began hanging out with said that feminism wasn't really a thing and that it was just a bunch of angry women blaming everything on men. Internally, I wanted to rant out and tell him I was disappointed by his sudden narrow minded thinking, and how he was just being an idiot about the entire thing because there IS a difference between feminism and misandry. However, I didn't act on my urge because I knew I was already aggravated by his comment and he isn't the type of person who will actually listen and change his mind -- or, at least, I didn't have the patience required for it.Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I see society as a group of people I have not been able to fit into while feeling comfortable, too. I'm either being myself and knowing I'm boring them or acting as if I belonged to the team and being constantly bored to death. But.. I've come to understand that just because my interests are not partying, drugs and sex but instead are psychology, history and learning doesn't mean that I am more important than they are or that they deserve anything less, which was a notion that my ex girlfriend had me believing for a long time. We're simply not from the same world and I just happened to be unlucky that the things I like aren't shared by the people around me.How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I take a lot of time to choose my friends, according to what my brother has pointed out. It's been a long time since I have considered someone a 'friend' now, all the ones I had moved on with their lives and their career. However, when I AM with a friend, I act like myself -- goofy, curious, clumsy, etc. I suppose I just become open.How do you behave around strangers?
I try to behave very politely and make them feel welcomed, specially if they skip small talk. I don't think I'm necessarily bad at socializing, it's not like I'm a monkey trying to act human -- I know what to say, I know what not to say. I just feel very anxious and sometimes VERY bored. I also become twitchy and extra clumsy if I feel like there's too much attention on me, causing my mind to race and just... it gets really uncomfortable for me.