Midlife and quarter-life crises (split)

[Suz]

After your midlife crisis, one often is no longer inclined to keeping up appearances ;-)

even slightly before that...
well, i guess depending on maturity level..

[wacey]

After your midlife crisis, one often is no longer inclined to keeping up appearances ;-)

Midlife? Early twenties for myself.

[xerx]

quarter life crises are the epitome of a first world problem.

[wacey]

quarter life crises are the epitome of a first world problem.

Really? I would give the third world citizens more credit than that.

[xerx]

Really? I would give the third world citizens more credit than that.

Basic survival drones out existential dilemmas.

[Words]

Basic survival drones out existential dilemmas.

I would still give 3rd world people more credit than that

[xerx]

I would still give 3rd world people more credit than that

No, you're the one condescending to them. There's a wide gulf between real philosophical introspection vs. the facade manufactured inside a cocoon of self-absorbed abundance.

[Suz]

Basic survival drones out existential dilemmas.

midlife or quarterlife crises do not need to be about existential dilemmas.

[xerx]

midlife or quarterlife crises do not need to be about existential dilemmas.

i know that; i was writing for rhetorical effect. it still doesn't change my opinion.

[Words]

No, you're the one condescending to them. There's a wide gulf between real philosophical introspection vs. the facade manufactured inside a cocoon of self-absorbed abundance.

Not everyone in the 3rd world is starving.

Many get by quite nicely with somewhere to stay and food from the animals they keep or the crops they sow.

They don't worry about iPads or iphones or the latest trainers, so we go back to 1st world problems.

You're the one talking about yourself? Or you talk like that all the time yes yes.

[xerx]

Not everyone in the 3rd world is starving.

Many get by quite nicely with somewhere to stay and food from the animals they keep or the crops they sow.

They don't worry about iPads or iphones or the latest trainers, so we go back to 1st world problems.

You're the one talking about yourself? Or you talk like that all the time yes yes.

I don't really understand your point. Yeah, people poorer than us come in gradations of wealth... so?

Moving on: not knowing what to do with your $20,000 bachelors degree isn't a "crisis." If being overwhelmed by too much freedom is one of your biggest hurdles, then there are millions of orphaned toddlers eating out of garbage dumps who'd like to have your problems.

[wacey]

Basic survival drones out existential dilemmas.

Nice, I guess you know a thing or two about my life to make that assumption.

Maybe if you were talking to a guy who grew up in some suburban dream world, had access to pretty much everything he desired, afforded the best schools and medical care, had all the toys and gadgets, had career options, looks, good health, a steady family, ect...then I might agree somewhat with your asinine assumption. Although, a problem is a problem is a problem, first, second, third world doesn't matter, you think third world citizens have some kind of monopoly on a more divine existence because survival is more difficult?

But you are not talking to a pampered prince, buddy.

Existential dilemmas are a spiritual gift from god and if I am fortunate enough to be blessed with one than thank christ. Poverty is not a prerequisite for some kind of special life, some kind of spiritually advanced existence. I think basic survival actually makes existential dilemmas more vibrant and demanding of immediate attention.

Saying this is neither here nor there, why in the world are you assuming that when I talk about a life crisis I was referring to an existential one in nature? I never once mentioned that to begin with?

Gett'n personal and not that you asked or anything for more detail:
Originally I was remembering when I felt the first touch of age as my hair turned grey, which it is about 40 percent now, or when my muscles began to atrophy and wounds stopped healing as quickly. I was remembering the hardening of my mind that follows the last bits of brain development, and the fear of an inflexible mind, the disillusionment and disappointment of dreams lost and roads closed. The realization of not having kids of my own and knowing that ultimately I need to rely on myself. The uphill struggle for wealth, comfort and the contentment of paying for bills, loans, mortgage, vehicle, significant other, animals, medical bills, ect. Where is my life headed? These were some of the things that made me feel confused. Not confused day in and out, a sort of back ground static confusion.

This was what I was referring to when I wrote about the crisis. It wasn't even a crisis at all really, just a general movement. As well, my last long term partner was in the 40's so I had a chance to see ahead and relate their experience to my own. The factors seemed similar.

By the way, my experience does not at all what-so-ever jive with your idea of "self-absorbed abundance". Like I said, a problem is a problem, wouldn't matter what country you are born into. You think the problems third world citizens face feel subjectively tougher then ours?

[Words]

I don't really understand your point. Yeah, people poorer than us come in gradations of wealth... so?

Moving on: not knowing what to do with your $20,000 bachelors degree isn't a "crisis." If being overwhelmed by too much freedom is one of your biggest hurdles, then there are millions of orphaned toddlers eating out of garbage dumps who'd like to have your problems.

Dude, money doesn't buy you happy ness, 1st world creates it that money is needed to be happy, also creates the need for quarter life crisises because of the illusions of money and 1st world societal pressures of ageism.

It's your adherance to the American system/lack of experience that's causing you to attack anyone who attacks your American indoctrination.

[xerx]

Nice, I guess you know a thing or two about my life to make that assumption.

Maybe if you were talking to a guy who grew up in some suburban dream world, had access to pretty much everything he desired, afforded the best schools and medical care, had all the toys and gadgets, had career options, looks, good health, a steady family, ect...then I might agree somewhat with your asinine assumption. Although, a problem is a problem is a problem, first, second, third world doesn't matter, you think third world citizens have some kind of monopoly on a more divine existence because survival is more difficult?

But you are not talking to a pampered prince, buddy.

Existential dilemmas are a spiritual gift from god and if I am fortunate enough to be blessed with one than thank christ. Poverty is not a prerequisite for some kind of special life, some kind of spiritually advanced existence. I think basic survival actually makes existential dilemmas more vibrant and demanding of immediate attention.

Saying this is neither here nor there, why in the world are you assuming that when I talk about a life crisis I was referring to an existential one in nature? I never once mentioned that to begin with?

Gett'n personal and not that you asked or anything for more detail:
Originally I was remembering when I felt the first touch of age as my hair turned grey, which it is about 40 percent now, or when my muscles began to atrophy and wounds stopped healing as quickly. I was remembering the hardening of my mind that follows the last bits of brain development, and the fear of an inflexible mind, the disillusionment and disappointment of dreams lost and roads closed. The realization of not having kids of my own and knowing that ultimately I need to rely on myself. The uphill struggle for wealth, comfort and the contentment of paying for bills, loans, mortgage, vehicle, significant other, animals, medical bills, ect. Where is my life headed? These were some of the things that made me feel confused. Not confused day in and out, a sort of back ground static confusion.

This was what I was referring to when I wrote about the crisis. It wasn't even a crisis at all really, just a general movement. As well, my last long term partner was in the 40's so I had a chance to see ahead and relate their experience to my own. The factors seemed similar.

By the way, my experience does not at all what-so-ever jive with your idea of "self-absorbed abundance". Like I said, a problem is a problem, wouldn't matter what country you are born into. You think the problems third world citizens face feel subjectively tougher then ours?

Yes, the problems that deeply impoverished people / people in conflict zones face are both objectively and subjectively tougher than mine and yours.

[xerx]

Dude, money doesn't buy you happy ness, 1st world creates it that money is needed to be happy, also creates the need for quarter life crisises because of the illusions of money and 1st world societal pressures of ageism.

The difference is that you have the freedom to give your money away. Nobody's forcing you to have it, and if it's causing you unhappiness, you're not required to keep it. You're not locked into a certain mode of operation when you have the agency to change it, by definition.

Consider this: if a member of the 1% whinged about an unhappy side-effect his socioeconomic status conferred, we'd consider him a spoiled brat.

It's your adherance to the American system/lack of experience that's causing you to attack anyone who attacks your American indoctrination.

I'm not insinuating that being a first world citizen automatically gives you a better life. Many Americans -- like poor whites / certain minorities / drug addicts / [EDIT: people with terminal diseases] / whatever -- have precarious access to food / water / education; many rich third worlders don't have problems. It's not a uniform distribution or anything.

[Words]

The difference is that you have the freedom to give your money away. Nobody's forcing you to have money. If it's causing you unhappiness, don't keep it. You're not locked into a certain way of life when you have agency, by definition.

Consider this: if a member of the 1% whinged about the general unhappiness his socioeconomic status confered, we'd consider him a spoiled brat.




I'm not insinuating that being a first world citizen automatically gives you a better life. Many Americans -- like poor whites / certain minorities / drug addicts / [EDIT: people with terminal diseases] / whatever -- have precarious access to food / water / education; many rich third worlders don't have problems. It's not a uniform distribution or anything.

The difference is I give 3rd world people more credit than you which was the point in the first place, now you are talking to youself.

[xerx]

The difference is I give 3rd world people more credit than you which was the point in the first place, now you are talking to youself.

Nope. I'm giving 3rd world people more credit than you are. See post #9.

[Reficulris]

You're all three dead wrong!

-> I <- have the sole monopoly on existential crises. (Cuz i bought it with my bourgeouse money ^^)

[Words]

Nope. I'm giving 3rd world people more credit than you are. See post #9.

See post #12

[xerx]

See post #12

See post #13 for the rebuttal to it

[wacey]

Yes, the problems that deeply impoverished people / people in conflict zones face are both objectively and subjectively tougher than mine and yours.

What a useless non sequintur.

[xerx]

What a useless non sequintur.

How is it a non sequitur?

You asked: You think the problems third world citizens face feel subjectively tougher then ours? To which I answered, yes they are, both objectively and subjectively.

I'm sorry if I gave the impression of being callous, but I just don't think we have a harder life than these people. Most of the problems you described happen to everyone, and everyone has (or eventually develops) the psychological resources to deal with them. I'd add that undergoing a mid-life crisis is something which has a positive net result in the form of gaining a bigger perspective on life.

Comparing that to the hard slog of feeding a family of four on bread and fava beans, day-in and day-out, is what makes it a non-crisis. It's also insulting to victims of war and women who are gang-raped to classify it in the same tier alongside these trauma.

Also, fwiw, the poor do face the same mid-lifey transformations related to aging as all of us do, they just pale in comparison to other problems they may have. "First world problem" doesn't have to be a problem specifically relegated to the first world; it could just as easily refer to blowing a common problem out of proportion.

[wacey]

@xerx

I completely see your point.. I noticed it at the very start our conversation. And I agree, people are spoiled for abundance, even the poor, who might always improve their lives with the slim chances first world providence provide. And those who are firmly entrenched in their station, such as those in very poverty stricken countries with rigid socio-economic lines drawn, do have troubles that make most of our's pale in comparison. That is undeniable.

It is also useless to free your mind thinking about how others are suffering. Put it another way, were you ever a kid at the table and you wanted to leave and go play, maybe watch Power Rangers on television, maybe you just wanted the ice cream that was for dessert? Every time you whined your Dad would say, "eat your mashed potatoes...you know, you are lucky to be having those mash potatoes, there are kids in Africa who are starving right now they are not as lucky as little boys like you, now eat your food and think about those who have none".

Did the thought of starving children in Africa ever make you stop worrying about missing Power Rangers and make you eat your mash potatoes?

"First world problems" is the new "eat your food because African children have none".

[xerx]

@xerx

I completely see your point.. I noticed it at the very start our conversation. And I agree, people are spoiled for abundance, even the poor, who might always improve their lives with the slim chances first world providence provide. And those who are firmly entrenched in their station, such as those in very poverty stricken countries with rigid socio-economic lines drawn, do have troubles that make most of ours pale in comparison. That is undeniable.

It is also useless to free your mind thinking about how others are suffering. Put it another way, were you ever a kid at the table and you wanted to leave and go play, maybe watch Power Rangers on television, maybe you just wanted the ice cream that was for dessert. Every time you whined your Dad would say, "eat your mashed potatoes...you know, you are lucky to be having those mash potatoes, there are kids in Africa who are starving right now they are not as lucky as little boys like you, now eat your food and think about those who have none".

Did the thought of starving children in Africa ever make you stop worrying about missing Power Rangers and make you eat your mash potatoes?

"First world problems" is the new "eat your food because African children have none".

To be honest, there are luxuries that I'd find impossible to give up. I'm not referring to material possessions, which, in all candor, I couldn't care less about, but access to intellectual resources unavailable in these impoverished areas. I'd also miss the rush of success which comes from achieving career and educational objectives. I feel guilty enough to donate money to international human rights organizations on a monthly basis, but it's a pittance compared to what I could be doing.

For what it's worth, my parents persisted -- and continue persist -- in encouraging me to put even my trivial needs ahead of others' basic ones. Every moral law I hold dear exists in perfect contradistinction to all the nonsense they taught me.

[Satan]

we as a people thrive on crisis.

[Beautiful sky]

I am probably having one now. I know that the terribly mean LSE who are watching me write this are judging me now but I'll say that I worry that I wont be able to have kids after a while. This is a real convern for me and something that my bf is very aware of so he's buying a house now and gettinh things together for our future and a sign of a man who loves you is just that. Who wants to put you as in the both of you on solid ground and not on quicksand.