Results 1 to 26 of 26

Thread: Midlife and quarter-life crises (split)

  1. #1
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    On a chatbox diet
    TIM
    IDK
    Posts
    6,470
    Mentioned
    169 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Wink Midlife and quarter-life crises (split)

    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    After your midlife crisis, one often is no longer inclined to keeping up appearances ;-)


    even slightly before that...
    well, i guess depending on maturity level..
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

  2. #2
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    TIM
    9w8
    Posts
    3,272
    Mentioned
    124 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    After your midlife crisis, one often is no longer inclined to keeping up appearances ;-)
    Midlife? Early twenties for myself.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

  3. #3
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    quarter life crises are the epitome of a first world problem.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  4. #4
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    TIM
    9w8
    Posts
    3,272
    Mentioned
    124 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    quarter life crises are the epitome of a first world problem.
    Really? I would give the third world citizens more credit than that.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

  5. #5
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    Really? I would give the third world citizens more credit than that.
    Basic survival drones out existential dilemmas.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    SLE/LSE sx/sp
    Posts
    2,489
    Mentioned
    76 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    Basic survival drones out existential dilemmas.
    I would still give 3rd world people more credit than that

  7. #7
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    I would still give 3rd world people more credit than that
    No, you're the one condescending to them. There's a wide gulf between real philosophical introspection vs. the facade manufactured inside a cocoon of self-absorbed abundance.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  8. #8
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    On a chatbox diet
    TIM
    IDK
    Posts
    6,470
    Mentioned
    169 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    Basic survival drones out existential dilemmas.
    midlife or quarterlife crises do not need to be about existential dilemmas.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

  9. #9
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    midlife or quarterlife crises do not need to be about existential dilemmas.
    i know that; i was writing for rhetorical effect. it still doesn't change my opinion.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    SLE/LSE sx/sp
    Posts
    2,489
    Mentioned
    76 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    No, you're the one condescending to them. There's a wide gulf between real philosophical introspection vs. the facade manufactured inside a cocoon of self-absorbed abundance.
    Not everyone in the 3rd world is starving.

    Many get by quite nicely with somewhere to stay and food from the animals they keep or the crops they sow.

    They don't worry about iPads or iphones or the latest trainers, so we go back to 1st world problems.

    You're the one talking about yourself? Or you talk like that all the time yes yes.

  11. #11
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    Not everyone in the 3rd world is starving.

    Many get by quite nicely with somewhere to stay and food from the animals they keep or the crops they sow.

    They don't worry about iPads or iphones or the latest trainers, so we go back to 1st world problems.

    You're the one talking about yourself? Or you talk like that all the time yes yes.
    I don't really understand your point. Yeah, people poorer than us come in gradations of wealth... so?

    Moving on: not knowing what to do with your $20,000 bachelors degree isn't a "crisis." If being overwhelmed by too much freedom is one of your biggest hurdles, then there are millions of orphaned toddlers eating out of garbage dumps who'd like to have your problems.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  12. #12
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    TIM
    9w8
    Posts
    3,272
    Mentioned
    124 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    Basic survival drones out existential dilemmas.
    Nice, I guess you know a thing or two about my life to make that assumption.

    Maybe if you were talking to a guy who grew up in some suburban dream world, had access to pretty much everything he desired, afforded the best schools and medical care, had all the toys and gadgets, had career options, looks, good health, a steady family, ect...then I might agree somewhat with your asinine assumption. Although, a problem is a problem is a problem, first, second, third world doesn't matter, you think third world citizens have some kind of monopoly on a more divine existence because survival is more difficult?

    But you are not talking to a pampered prince, buddy.

    Existential dilemmas are a spiritual gift from god and if I am fortunate enough to be blessed with one than thank christ. Poverty is not a prerequisite for some kind of special life, some kind of spiritually advanced existence. I think basic survival actually makes existential dilemmas more vibrant and demanding of immediate attention.

    Saying this is neither here nor there, why in the world are you assuming that when I talk about a life crisis I was referring to an existential one in nature? I never once mentioned that to begin with?

    Gett'n personal and not that you asked or anything for more detail:
    Originally I was remembering when I felt the first touch of age as my hair turned grey, which it is about 40 percent now, or when my muscles began to atrophy and wounds stopped healing as quickly. I was remembering the hardening of my mind that follows the last bits of brain development, and the fear of an inflexible mind, the disillusionment and disappointment of dreams lost and roads closed. The realization of not having kids of my own and knowing that ultimately I need to rely on myself. The uphill struggle for wealth, comfort and the contentment of paying for bills, loans, mortgage, vehicle, significant other, animals, medical bills, ect. Where is my life headed? These were some of the things that made me feel confused. Not confused day in and out, a sort of back ground static confusion.

    This was what I was referring to when I wrote about the crisis. It wasn't even a crisis at all really, just a general movement. As well, my last long term partner was in the 40's so I had a chance to see ahead and relate their experience to my own. The factors seemed similar.

    By the way, my experience does not at all what-so-ever jive with your idea of "self-absorbed abundance". Like I said, a problem is a problem, wouldn't matter what country you are born into. You think the problems third world citizens face feel subjectively tougher then ours?
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

  13. #13
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    SLE/LSE sx/sp
    Posts
    2,489
    Mentioned
    76 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    I don't really understand your point. Yeah, people poorer than us come in gradations of wealth... so?

    Moving on: not knowing what to do with your $20,000 bachelors degree isn't a "crisis." If being overwhelmed by too much freedom is one of your biggest hurdles, then there are millions of orphaned toddlers eating out of garbage dumps who'd like to have your problems.
    Dude, money doesn't buy you happy ness, 1st world creates it that money is needed to be happy, also creates the need for quarter life crisises because of the illusions of money and 1st world societal pressures of ageism.

    It's your adherance to the American system/lack of experience that's causing you to attack anyone who attacks your American indoctrination.

  14. #14
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    Nice, I guess you know a thing or two about my life to make that assumption.

    Maybe if you were talking to a guy who grew up in some suburban dream world, had access to pretty much everything he desired, afforded the best schools and medical care, had all the toys and gadgets, had career options, looks, good health, a steady family, ect...then I might agree somewhat with your asinine assumption. Although, a problem is a problem is a problem, first, second, third world doesn't matter, you think third world citizens have some kind of monopoly on a more divine existence because survival is more difficult?

    But you are not talking to a pampered prince, buddy.

    Existential dilemmas are a spiritual gift from god and if I am fortunate enough to be blessed with one than thank christ. Poverty is not a prerequisite for some kind of special life, some kind of spiritually advanced existence. I think basic survival actually makes existential dilemmas more vibrant and demanding of immediate attention.

    Saying this is neither here nor there, why in the world are you assuming that when I talk about a life crisis I was referring to an existential one in nature? I never once mentioned that to begin with?

    Gett'n personal and not that you asked or anything for more detail:
    Originally I was remembering when I felt the first touch of age as my hair turned grey, which it is about 40 percent now, or when my muscles began to atrophy and wounds stopped healing as quickly. I was remembering the hardening of my mind that follows the last bits of brain development, and the fear of an inflexible mind, the disillusionment and disappointment of dreams lost and roads closed. The realization of not having kids of my own and knowing that ultimately I need to rely on myself. The uphill struggle for wealth, comfort and the contentment of paying for bills, loans, mortgage, vehicle, significant other, animals, medical bills, ect. Where is my life headed? These were some of the things that made me feel confused. Not confused day in and out, a sort of back ground static confusion.

    This was what I was referring to when I wrote about the crisis. It wasn't even a crisis at all really, just a general movement. As well, my last long term partner was in the 40's so I had a chance to see ahead and relate their experience to my own. The factors seemed similar.

    By the way, my experience does not at all what-so-ever jive with your idea of "self-absorbed abundance". Like I said, a problem is a problem, wouldn't matter what country you are born into. You think the problems third world citizens face feel subjectively tougher then ours?
    Yes, the problems that deeply impoverished people / people in conflict zones face are both objectively and subjectively tougher than mine and yours.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  15. #15
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    Dude, money doesn't buy you happy ness, 1st world creates it that money is needed to be happy, also creates the need for quarter life crisises because of the illusions of money and 1st world societal pressures of ageism.
    The difference is that you have the freedom to give your money away. Nobody's forcing you to have it, and if it's causing you unhappiness, you're not required to keep it. You're not locked into a certain mode of operation when you have the agency to change it, by definition.

    Consider this: if a member of the 1% whinged about an unhappy side-effect his socioeconomic status conferred, we'd consider him a spoiled brat.


    It's your adherance to the American system/lack of experience that's causing you to attack anyone who attacks your American indoctrination.
    I'm not insinuating that being a first world citizen automatically gives you a better life. Many Americans -- like poor whites / certain minorities / drug addicts / [EDIT: people with terminal diseases] / whatever -- have precarious access to food / water / education; many rich third worlders don't have problems. It's not a uniform distribution or anything.
    Last edited by xerx; 12-20-2014 at 05:20 PM.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  16. #16
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    SLE/LSE sx/sp
    Posts
    2,489
    Mentioned
    76 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    The difference is that you have the freedom to give your money away. Nobody's forcing you to have money. If it's causing you unhappiness, don't keep it. You're not locked into a certain way of life when you have agency, by definition.

    Consider this: if a member of the 1% whinged about the general unhappiness his socioeconomic status confered, we'd consider him a spoiled brat.




    I'm not insinuating that being a first world citizen automatically gives you a better life. Many Americans -- like poor whites / certain minorities / drug addicts / [EDIT: people with terminal diseases] / whatever -- have precarious access to food / water / education; many rich third worlders don't have problems. It's not a uniform distribution or anything.
    The difference is I give 3rd world people more credit than you which was the point in the first place, now you are talking to youself.

  17. #17
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    The difference is I give 3rd world people more credit than you which was the point in the first place, now you are talking to youself.
    Nope. I'm giving 3rd world people more credit than you are. See post #9.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  18. #18
    Moderator Reficulris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    2,041
    Mentioned
    188 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    You're all three dead wrong!

    -> I <- have the sole monopoly on existential crises. (Cuz i bought it with my bourgeouse money ^^)

  19. #19
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    SLE/LSE sx/sp
    Posts
    2,489
    Mentioned
    76 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    Nope. I'm giving 3rd world people more credit than you are. See post #9.
    See post #12

  20. #20
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    See post #12
    See post #13 for the rebuttal to it
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  21. #21
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    TIM
    9w8
    Posts
    3,272
    Mentioned
    124 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    Yes, the problems that deeply impoverished people / people in conflict zones face are both objectively and subjectively tougher than mine and yours.
    What a useless non sequintur.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

  22. #22
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    What a useless non sequintur.
    How is it a non sequitur?

    You asked: You think the problems third world citizens face feel subjectively tougher then ours? To which I answered, yes they are, both objectively and subjectively.

    I'm sorry if I gave the impression of being callous, but I just don't think we have a harder life than these people. Most of the problems you described happen to everyone, and everyone has (or eventually develops) the psychological resources to deal with them. I'd add that undergoing a mid-life crisis is something which has a positive net result in the form of gaining a bigger perspective on life.

    Comparing that to the hard slog of feeding a family of four on bread and fava beans, day-in and day-out, is what makes it a non-crisis. It's also insulting to victims of war and women who are gang-raped to classify it in the same tier alongside these trauma.

    Also, fwiw, the poor do face the same mid-lifey transformations related to aging as all of us do, they just pale in comparison to other problems they may have. "First world problem" doesn't have to be a problem specifically relegated to the first world; it could just as easily refer to blowing a common problem out of proportion.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  23. #23
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    TIM
    9w8
    Posts
    3,272
    Mentioned
    124 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @xerx

    I completely see your point.. I noticed it at the very start our conversation. And I agree, people are spoiled for abundance, even the poor, who might always improve their lives with the slim chances first world providence provide. And those who are firmly entrenched in their station, such as those in very poverty stricken countries with rigid socio-economic lines drawn, do have troubles that make most of our's pale in comparison. That is undeniable.

    It is also useless to free your mind thinking about how others are suffering. Put it another way, were you ever a kid at the table and you wanted to leave and go play, maybe watch Power Rangers on television, maybe you just wanted the ice cream that was for dessert? Every time you whined your Dad would say, "eat your mashed potatoes...you know, you are lucky to be having those mash potatoes, there are kids in Africa who are starving right now they are not as lucky as little boys like you, now eat your food and think about those who have none".

    Did the thought of starving children in Africa ever make you stop worrying about missing Power Rangers and make you eat your mash potatoes?

    "First world problems" is the new "eat your food because African children have none".
    Last edited by wacey; 12-23-2014 at 05:36 AM.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

  24. #24
    xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    5,464
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    @xerx

    I completely see your point.. I noticed it at the very start our conversation. And I agree, people are spoiled for abundance, even the poor, who might always improve their lives with the slim chances first world providence provide. And those who are firmly entrenched in their station, such as those in very poverty stricken countries with rigid socio-economic lines drawn, do have troubles that make most of ours pale in comparison. That is undeniable.

    It is also useless to free your mind thinking about how others are suffering. Put it another way, were you ever a kid at the table and you wanted to leave and go play, maybe watch Power Rangers on television, maybe you just wanted the ice cream that was for dessert. Every time you whined your Dad would say, "eat your mashed potatoes...you know, you are lucky to be having those mash potatoes, there are kids in Africa who are starving right now they are not as lucky as little boys like you, now eat your food and think about those who have none".

    Did the thought of starving children in Africa ever make you stop worrying about missing Power Rangers and make you eat your mash potatoes?

    "First world problems" is the new "eat your food because African children have none".
    To be honest, there are luxuries that I'd find impossible to give up. I'm not referring to material possessions, which, in all candor, I couldn't care less about, but access to intellectual resources unavailable in these impoverished areas. I'd also miss the rush of success which comes from achieving career and educational objectives. I feel guilty enough to donate money to international human rights organizations on a monthly basis, but it's a pittance compared to what I could be doing.

    For what it's worth, my parents persisted -- and continue persist -- in encouraging me to put even my trivial needs ahead of others' basic ones. Every moral law I hold dear exists in perfect contradistinction to all the nonsense they taught me.
    Last edited by xerx; 12-23-2014 at 06:17 AM.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

  25. #25
    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Behind you
    TIM
    sle sp/sx 845
    Posts
    4,956
    Mentioned
    137 Post(s)
    Tagged
    15 Thread(s)

    Default

    we as a people thrive on crisis.

  26. #26
    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    22,740
    Mentioned
    531 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    I am probably having one now. I know that the terribly mean LSE who are watching me write this are judging me now but I'll say that I worry that I wont be able to have kids after a while. This is a real convern for me and something that my bf is very aware of so he's buying a house now and gettinh things together for our future and a sign of a man who loves you is just that. Who wants to put you as in the both of you on solid ground and not on quicksand.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •