Member Questionnaire (Within)

[Tonatiuh]

What is beauty? I think of beauty as in something that resonates with me internally and evoke certain emotional responses which I consider positive. I suppose I would describe beauty as something that stops me in my tracks makes me drop everything else for a moment only to explore X further with awe and curiosity.

What is love? Blah-blah garden variety bio-explanation. Considering eros, agape, phileo and storge as the a general disposition against a situation, phenomenon or individual, I chose to interpret the question in regard to the eros form of love. With that in mind I'd describe love as a feedback loop that either results in great joy or great misery. Sometimes both.

What are your most important values? I'm anti censorship, the monetary system, religion, mob mentality, morality as a shield to hide behind. I'm pro-death penalty for the individuals that frequently abuse civilization in order to exploit the ones that actually promotes it and contribute. I'm pro-sustainable solutions to human existence.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? I'm a pantheist.

Opinion on war and militaries? Militaries are necessary in the world today because of the innate human instinct to want to stand on the top of the mountain and push every other climber off. Soldiers are the instrument, war is the process and the result is control over resources, that the different sides holds after the dust settles. War is just an investment in stock that government hopes will pan out in their favor.

What is power to you? I could quote Foucault forever here. But I just leave you with a recommendation to read him for yourselves. Power boils down the the simple hypothetical of one exercising it in an action, or wielding it without actually doing anything. The result is however the same. Behavior that forces one will over another and prevails in doing so. That is power to me.

What have you had long conversations about? The concept of free will. Movies, music and name any psychological subject.

What are your interests? Drawing, sculpting, building stuff, swimming, watching movies/series, listening to music, working, studying/learning new things, relationships of value.

Why? I'm curious by nature. My interests make my life worth living.

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? I know enough to carry on in a conversation but apart from a basic understanding of human physiology and anatomy, I don't know much and I don't that and I consider it an interest of mine.

Are you focused on your body? Sure, to some extent. I dye my hair grey and keep myself ripped by swimming and enjoy having good teeth and hygiene. But apart from that I don't spend a lot of time on vanity.

What do you think of daily chores? They make me feel good once I've forced myself into completing them. But there's definitely a threshold that needs to be conquered in order for me to get them done.

Books or films you liked? Classic favorites would have to be: Donnie Darko, The Fountain, K-Pax, Lucky Number Slevin, Oldboy, Stoker, Perfume, Fight Club, Sunshine, Unbreakable, The Man From Earth, Edward Scissorhands, Safety Not Guaranteed, The Machinist,
Memento, The Number 23, Watchmen, Cube, The Truman Show, No Country For Old Men, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Charlie Countryman, Primer, There Will Be Blood, Good Will Hunting, Her, Collateral, Upstream Color, Mr. Brooks, I Heart Huckabees, Gattaca, Gravity, Transcendence, Only Lovers Left Alive, Requiem for a Dream, Little Miss Sunshine, The Life Aquatic, It's All Gone Pete Tong, Beyond The Black Rainbow, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Moonrise Kingdom, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, In Your Eyes and Antichrist

Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. Loved: I Origins, The Giver, Nightcrawler, Guardians of the Galaxy and Boyhood.

What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Nothing anymore. I never experienced much emotion apart from abyssal anxiety. With rare glaring moments of brief happiness.

Why? Probably because I'm medicated.

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? My apartment and when I'm swimming.

What have people seen as your weaknesses? My best guess would be that I'm withdrawn.

What do you dislike about yourself? The fact that I can't enjoy much of anything.

What have people seen as your strengths? My mind is a storage facility of information, I've got a very good memory and I'm fearless in most situations.

What do you like about yourself? I like that no matter how low or fucked up I get, I always get X done in the end.

In what areas of your life would you like help? I used to feel awkward in social situations. But after placing myself strategically in situations where I could build of off others (good people) experiences and personality I was able to straighten out a couple of crooked parts in myself.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. I disconnect, minimizing interpersonal relationships and situations until I'm ready to step up again. Basically I just stay home and keep my focus on myself and what I need to do in order to come back. Lot's of cooking and movie watching usually does the trick for me.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? My favorite qualities in other people is kindness and being void of fear of expressing themselves in a way that most people would describe as being anything else than politically correct.

What types do you get along with? Intellectual but not stuck up and smug-types. I have very emotional friends, but they perplex me to some extent.

How do you feel about romance/sex? I'm a romantic son of a bitch but I save that part for people I want to show it to. I enjoy sex, I used to be very promiscuous until a couple of years ago when I decided that I would never do it again until I found someone that I wanted it from emotionally as well as physically. Apart from just the physical aspect alone.

What qualities do you want in a partner? Someone lighter and with more energy than myself which can act as a catalyst. A good sense of humor, genuine, intellectual sharpness as well as a physical attraction I suppose would be the honest answer.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? Building their persona with the tools they would need later in life as well as encouraging their creative and curious sides, as well as being the most reliable person in their life.

A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? I would probably just discuss it from my current standpoint and try to convince them that I'm right, either I succeed in that or they manage to convert me to theirs.

Describe your relationship to society. I'm a functioning cog in the social machinery, this only until I have the means to break free from the chains of it.

How do you see people as a whole? I see them as a biopsychosocial collage of experiences, predispositions and choices.

What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. Extremism.

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? We chose each other over a very long period of stable presence in each other lives. I behave as myself and relaxed, no façade.

How do you behave around strangers? It's purely situation related. It depends on what results or reactions I want out of them.