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Thread: ISTp friend Doomed?

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    meatburger's Avatar
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    Default ISTp friend Doomed?

    Ok,

    Here is the breif story about my ISTp friend. We met when we were in primary school in about year 3. Some how we got in a fight and had to make up in the principles office. Im sure the fight would have started by him as he was an agressive punk(he still is). Anyway so over the years a group has formed of around 8 guys. The ISTp slowly became the scape goat. People used to pay him out as he did do some total dickhead stuff. At school he wasn't really liked. He stayed friends with me through all of this but even i cracked a few times at him and told him to f&#k off etc. If im honest to myself i think we all used him as a scape goat to bring everyone else together. I used to also propagate how much of an asshole he was. Back then i was also immature

    Anyway over the years he got quite addicted to Dope and still is to this day. He probablly smokes a few cones every single day. He has moved back to my city and hangs with us every now and then but he really has fallen inside himself. Like last night we went out and i tried quite hard to get him to open up etc but he truly is rude. He will just ignore what you say to him, barely acknowlegeging your presence. He is just a drain to hang around. At the friends house, we were watching the football and he just changed the channel to this comedy thing. Luckily the comedy thing he changed it to was really funny but what he did was really rude.

    I try to never let life get on top of me. He seems to have done exactly that but its seems almost insurmountable to help him. Maybe he has depression. He cannot seem to get over the ghosts of his past.

    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaļs Nin

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    Yes, it's eventually how having as PoRL is.
    No matter how much some people have fancy with being ISTp, nor Alpha-NTs claim their N stigma.
    ex-nameless ixtp
    *** Warning - Risk of poor communication and late response.

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    That's sad. Hard to change a person, he become what he is now. I think it'll take a lot to help him. Probably needs something to get him to change. I don't know much about ISTPs. Probably needs something in the future for him to want to stand up.
    INFP

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    i don't think cures for such things will be developed until we realize that such dilemmas are in fact our own problems as well as the individual's

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    Like last night we went out and i tried quite hard to get him to open up etc but he truly is rude.
    Judging from my own experiences, he probably did not only like people trying to force him to open up, but probably also realized that people considered him rude for not wanting to open up. This happens to me a lot and I wish people would just let me be until *I* feel like opening up to them! Nothing is more awkward for me than when people try to force me into being social when all I want to do is just take relax and be left alone until I feel like chiming in. He probably felt like you were pressuring him, and deep down, knew that you had judged him as being rude, or different, or whatever for his unwillingness to be social. Considering how he had been treated in the past, I can't say I blame him for being "rude" with a bunch of people who had been assholes to him.

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    meatburger's Avatar
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    Yeah i know typeless wonder. I wasn't pressuring him to open up. My intentions were good. I was simply trying to talk to him, that is all. He is depressed, thats the main problem. I was trying in my own way to get him to feel more included not to just ignore him.

    We were assholes to him, because he really was an unbelivable prick. I understand ISTp's now a little that i have read socionics. It seems likely that the more people got annoyed at him for being a prick the more he would be one.

    The other week i had to bail him out from having a fight and leave a party just to take him home. I was having fun too. Anyway he is beyond any thing i can do, even duality cannot help.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaļs Nin

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    Btw Doomed is quite wrong he will live comfortably in life. He is very resourceful and smart so he wont have a problem getting a job.

    I just think its unlikely he will ever heal himself, always be slightly mad at the world. One of his main problems i think is his inability to take responsibility for his actions. He thinks the world is shit, he thinks people are shit. I can understand why he thinks this but these thoughts cannot help you in any way, shape or form.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaļs Nin

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    Speaking of rudeness, I found myself having difficulty to deal with other's "not so interesting" tastes. I think myself only behaving just like others regarding my own not interesting, it's usual and I'm OK in most time, but others take it rude.

    This has another thing not so much related with ISTp but weak ; I'm recently getting into sociology, anthropology and other "human" stuff. I've got to wonder if it's different from personal problem, or N-like sense of divergence. Then Hochschild's neat book came and told me "Use the emotional rule, Luke."
    It proposes that what people say about your interest shows how the person thinks about you rather than of your interest. A man whom regarded as everyone's boss will be decade maximum praise one can afford. If you're not so high in your place, you'll get as much as it is. If in the base.....ask for mercy.

    I realized therefore I'm always having the least respect, and all the effort to go about more interesting, more significant and more great things was just in vain. I should have got to be the boss. But by what and how? Position of the boss itself is a donation of respect, she suggested.



    Anyway I thought there's something about strength to do with emotional act. And still I am looking for the way to tell I'm not interested your boss game in the manner not getting them mad.
    ex-nameless ixtp
    *** Warning - Risk of poor communication and late response.

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