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Thread: Relationship between ESTp and INFp and a mistype

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    Default Relationship between ESTp and INFp and a mistype

    ISTp...and INFp...words of wisdom on this relationship??
    Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.

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    I don't think it's possible. There seems to be entirely too much misunderstanding for it to work. While I am very attracted to them myself, I seem to reach a dead end with them. Things don't seem to progress. I wouldn't do it again. Everyone is different, however.

    and nice to see ya back, us female ISTP's are getting scarce ; )

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    ehehe,
    well, im not in a relationship with this INFp in an emotional sense...if you catch my drift...but I find we have a very love/hate relationship...
    Since the beging, he was VERY funny, and we seemed to click. Not in a smooth kind of way by any means, we butted heads a lot and have very different but similar oppinions with regards to same type issues/situations. I dont know how to describe it, but our interaction is intense and at the same time we also try to irritate each other...but thats what's so attractive about him. I dont know, with him it's very passionate when we talk, and very much a argumentative manner but we're so drawn to each other beacuse of it. Needless to say...in the sac, it was the best time of my life. Literally, and this person is 18yrs my senior. AHAH when you put it like that it doesn't sounds so exciting...but he is older and very sexy. Maybe I'm going crazy but with this guy it was the best, im not at all about making love..but thats what it felt like some of time times...at other times it was very wild and animalistic...I cant believe im typing this on here...but thats just the way it is. I dont know what to make of it, I dont want any kind of relationship with anyone, and im pretty sure he doesnt either, he's going through a rough time just now. So, I think we're on the same page, with regards to what kind of a relationship this is...that its not one, its just physical...but at the same time, I dont think I've ever felt like this before about anyone! When I see him, I just feel this primative need to jump him and ....mmm....*daydream* Its kind of messed up, but then again, I am ISTp. A lost one at that...
    Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.

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    haha, sounds exactly like the realtionship I had. Was the best *you know* I had ever had in my entire life. It's a shame he's against casual relations because good lord, it's something I think about every day. I've never been with someone like that. Those INFP's are animals in bed. I also never got the mushy feelings people would describe when they were "making love" but with him it was close to that.

    ahh, I need to contact him again...see what's up. lol.

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    its insane...i cant stop thinking about him!! ahaha girl!! this is nuts!! I dont get girlie and shit like that, but he makes me totally feel that. It's werid, because like i said he is 18 yrs older than me, but I havent been this attracted to someone physically, ever in my entire life...I guess thats what happens when you have the best sex of your life! Sometimes, when I see him and how we interact, I can almost assume that we're in some kind of relationship...I can actually picture myself being with him, cuz I know I could completely trust him. He just doesnt say a lot, and that frustrates me, and he knows it and sometimes he'll do that on purpose. He loves to just get me going, we joke around that his purpose in life is to piss me off and vice versa, but no matter how much we are irritating each other, it's kind of endearing to us. It's werid, very werid, but it feels so...right?? WTF is wrong with this picutre??
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    I say go for it, to hell with this duality nonsense..the stuff brainwashes you. Those feelings don't come around a lot. When I was with him, it was the same exact feeling and I miss it a lot. I've dated many others and haven't even come close to feeling that. Our relationship didn't work but that doesn't mean yours won't. Don't let someone that good slip away cuz trust me, it's hard finding someone on that level :wink:

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    That's very true, I've introduced people to socionics that have become obsessed with duality, and they just shut down to other possebilities. I was like that in the very begining, but over time, I realized that most ENFps actually frustrate me more than anything. My best friend is an ENFp, but she and I have a friendship duality but I could never see myself in a relationship with one of them.
    You're very right about my situation too. I guess it is hard to find someone that will make you feel they way he makes me feel. I mean, I was in a long-term relationship a while back that almost ended in marriage...thank god it didn't because I realize more and more, especially right now with this situation happening, what it really takes. He's made me re-evaluate every thought and ideal about what to expect, and what to want from a man. I guess he's set the standard high, ahaha, but at the same time, it's kind of an iffy situation.
    If you look at the way things are now, and it doesn't go any further, that would be ideal yet shitty. Quite frankly, secretly I think I want him for more than just something casual but Im telling myself that thats what its all about. Maybe I'm setting myself up for a downfall, I'm pretty self-distructive ya know ahah. I just dont know, exactly how to go about things, anymore. I reevaluate things in my head all the time, telling myself why I should just stay away from him. But like I said, when I see him, I only see HIM. This is all very strange to me, but its great...yet shitty all at the same time.
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    I'd give it a try. I've ruined a lot of relationships because i've been afraid of what they could turn in to...afraid i'd get hurt just like i did before. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but at the very least, give it a chance. Relationships are very stressful for me, that's why I personally have a hard time with them. I bring a lot of it on myself..assuming they'll treat me how the others did. Everyone is different though. Relationships are good but can also make you insane at the same time. Ya only live once though, might as well go for it.

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    An ESTp and ISTj woman talking about INFps
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    explain?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    explain?
    I'm not totally serious, but "ISTP" always sounded like an ESTp girl to me
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I've gotten that impression too, i'm just curious as to why you think i'm ISTJ as you're the second person that has said that. Sorry ISTP, don't mean to derail your thread..

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    I've gotten that impression too, i'm just curious as to why you think i'm ISTJ as you're the second person that has said that. Sorry ISTP, don't mean to derail your thread..
    The way you express your feelings here, too. Not conductive to a Fe PoLR. The way you speak about you never felt like you were making love that speaks against Fi HA; the way you speak about you feeling a bit isolated/etc sounds like a need for Fe, the way you dramatize (not necessarily purposefully) your relationships reeks of of Fe quadra...

    this isn't meant to be negative, hey

    also I don't know, but it sounds like the thing that has plagued you the most in relationship was uncertainity from the side of your partner
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    you dramatize (not necessarily purposefully) your relationships reeks of of Fe quadra.
    Wouldn't that be ? Going overboard on interpersonal aspects?

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    After being here for roughly over a year, I still have no idea what the FE/Fi / POLR things mean...

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    Quote Originally Posted by electric
    you dramatize (not necessarily purposefully) your relationships reeks of of Fe quadra.
    Wouldn't that be ? Going overboard on relationships?
    Nah, just crazy and clingy and psycho...

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    are ENFps/INFjs into emotion-less sex that involves no "lovemaking"?


    edit:


    i do think that at the least it seems more aggressor-victim-ish in my head.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    are ENFps/INFjs into emotion-less sex that involves no "lovemaking"?
    haha, I'd hardly think so. Not with all that Fi.
    yeah. you might be right. i admit that when i came here and everyone thought i was a blazing ball of irrational (when i was breaking things off with an ISTj) i would read the beta forum where people were like -- "you shouldn't take sex seriously. people who think sex has anything to do with emotion/lovemaking are stupid." etc etc. bugged me to pieces. so i have to deduce that especially for introverted types, this is accurate.
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    Without derailing my own thread...I think you may be onto something...Ive always thought I was fairly introverted but reading about ESTp, that does sound like me...for two years ive believed im ISTp (typed by my buddy icepick) but yeah...Im seriusly doubting now that Im ISTp. It's kinda shaken up my little world over here ahah but, I think you may be right after all. I will post some pictures shortly on here so you can tell me what you think VI wise...im at work right now so it may be a bit before I can get on here.

    I guess if I was an ESTp...the going ons with this INFp are self-explanitory...since he would be my dual.

    My world has been shaken and stirred today! ahha I cannot believe, that i could potentially not be ISTp....
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    thats me currently...not the best pic, but there are others on here too...heres another one too...

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    An ESTp and ISTj woman talking about INFps
    I don't think I know any ISTp women in real life so I'm not the best to comment on this but there might be some truth to that, heh.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ISTP
    Without derailing my own thread...I think you may be onto something...Ive always thought I was fairly introverted but reading about ESTp, that does sound like me...for two years ive believed im ISTp (typed by my buddy icepick) but yeah...Im seriusly doubting now that Im ISTp. It's kinda shaken up my little world over here ahah but, I think you may be right after all. I will post some pictures shortly on here so you can tell me what you think VI wise...im at work right now so it may be a bit before I can get on here.

    I guess if I was an ESTp...the going ons with this INFp are self-explanitory...since he would be my dual.

    My world has been shaken and stirred today! ahha I cannot believe, that i could potentially not be ISTp....
    Herzy also came here as ISTp but switched to ESTp after understanding what the difference is. I guess ESTps can have a sense of "introversion" because their Fi-PoLR makes them somewhat insecure in relationships or something. This is different from what socionics means with introversion though.

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    You do come across more as an ESTp than an ISTp here. Only you could know for sure but it's worth looking into.
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    Well I can definetly see how ISTP would come across as an ESTP. You're quite attractive but i'm sure ya already know that ; )

    As for me, I can identify with every type if i look into it too hard. I once was positive I was INFP, ha. ISTJ has never stuck out though. I am untypeable...

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    You come across very much as an ISTp to me Jessica.

    But ISTp (I don't know her name LOL) seems to value Fe - if you read her posts they're very emotional sometimes. She'll say stuff like DAMN in all caps and even maybe spell it Day-UM or something. Doesn't seem very ISTp-ish.
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    I agree that ISTP seems more ESTp.

    Jessica seems to me a very typical ISTp.

    I agree with electric, what Jessica shows is value for , not .She talks about her feelings and relationships in a manner, not . ISTP uses more .
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    ISTP you vi like an estp, fwiw. estp's are sometimes kind of quiet since they like to gauge situations fully before jumping in. so maybe that fits for you. you don't come to the forum that often but when you do you seem more forceful than an istp would be.

    jessica129, you vi as an istp, you seem like an istp for sure. at least to me!

    and i agree with jessica about ISTP's relationship, if you have the good feelings then go for it and see how it plays out. don't let socionics get in the way...let it help you once you're in it! good luck!

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    Well I think I am an ISTP too, so i guess you're outnumbered, FDG ; )

    And ISTP, assuming you are infact ESTP, ya just met your dual! haha. More proof you may be an ESTP afterall.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Well I think I am an ISTP too, so i guess you're outnumbered, FDG ; )

    And ISTP, assuming you are infact ESTP, ya just met your dual! haha. More proof you may be an ESTP afterall.
    ok well, i was more sure of ISTP being ESTp than you being ISTj
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    Aww, yay, another female ESTp among our ranks! You're gorgeous, too! Yeah, you definitely come across as an ESTp.


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    Well...I guess I can finally accept that Im ESTp...even thought it's hard to get away, since I was so convinced that I was ISTp, but generally ESTp sounds a lot more like me than anything else. So much for my username!! ahha, O well...could be worse.

    That would explain then, with the INFp then...duality, I can understand why I got so frustrated with ENFp's and never having it work out really...seeing as how it was supposedly my Dual...but everything now seems to have fallen into place....

    Still though, getting back on topic, seeing as how I was never really involved with a dual...any advice really? I dont know where to go from here onin...He is much older than me, but I find that an attraction in this case. We haven't seen each other the last few weeks because of work...I saw him yesterday in passing by and it was...electrifying, but we he wont be around for a few weeks due to work. I'm just pretty....confused at the moment. Not even just dual advice...but advice in general, im not very good at relationship stuff...and I dont know where to go from here. So...any kind of advice is welcome...Thanks
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    Quote Originally Posted by introspectivedolphin
    Hello there fellow dual! I'm an INFp. Umm, I can't think of any general advice right now....but perhaps I can give a little insight on the way the INFp mind works. Is there anything specific that you're confused about?
    The best way to approach him and let him know I'd like to see him, again, and again and again. Up to this point, we were always brutally honest with each other and that was the best part of it all. But now, for some reason, i guess because I realized how much I actually like this man...I dont know what to do with myself. Neither of us like head games, but for some reason, I can for see this turning into one. Maybe Im just over annalyzing this situation at the moment. Perhaps its because...i just realized I had these "feelings" within the last two days (since I last saw him) and maybe it's just the innitial shock, beacuse this was the last thing I expected...it perhaps just hasnt settled in my head and im still on some sorta endoprhine high? Bleh...
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    Quote Originally Posted by ISTP
    it perhaps just hasnt settled in my head and im still on some sorta endoprhine high? Bleh...
    Most likely that.

    Good news is that regardless of whether you are an ESTp or ISTp, you're probably going to be well-equipped to handle whatever it is you think you might be feeling.

    Enjoy what you got - it's going to sort it outself eventually, anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Aww, yay, another female ESTp among our ranks! You're gorgeous, too! Yeah, you definitely come across as an ESTp.
    Thank ya!
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    are ENFps/INFjs into emotion-less sex that involves no "lovemaking"?
    Yes.

    Also, I did notice something off about ISTP from the beginning. Something in the lines of "too blunt to be ISTp" came to my mind when I first talked to her.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    are ENFps/INFjs into emotion-less sex that involves no "lovemaking"?
    Yes.
    I've never considered it to be an emotional experience. It's play, stimulation, and/or relaxation with someone that I enjoy being around.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ISTP
    Well...I guess I can finally accept that Im ESTp...even thought it's hard to get away, since I was so convinced that I was ISTp, but generally ESTp sounds a lot more like me than anything else. So much for my username!! ahha, O well...could be worse.
    lol yeah, your username needs to be shaken and stirred as much as your world has been shaken and stirred! FYI, you can always PM rmcnew and ask for a username change.

    What kind of work do you do? I mean, how does it get in the way of you guys seeing each other?

    Do you get a sense that he's starting to share your feelings…that he’s experiencing something on a similar level as you are?

    In the days before my husband was my husband, I was surprised at how easy it was to notice he was developing feelings for me. I was developing feelings for him as well, so it was the best thing in the world to recognize that his heart was going pitter-patter over me too.

    What do you think of the age difference?

    Anyways, good luck with this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maze
    What do you think of the age difference?
    It's enriching, like everything in life. And completely healthy as long as it is not exclusionary (for example, you pursuit people of all ages, not only a certain group).

    Some people seems to forget that we all mature at different rates. For some people the mental age is very different from the biological one. Women, for example, are said to mature much faster than men, so to some degree they don't find men of their same age appealing. This is why there are a lot of women in relationships with older men.

    The opposite can happen too: a man is much more mature than most women of his age. In this situation he may pursuit older women, as they provide something younger ones don't.

    In any case, reasons opposing such behavior are based more on prejudice than anything else.
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    [quote="maze"]
    Quote Originally Posted by ISTP
    Do you get a sense that he's starting to share your feelings…that he’s experiencing something on a similar level as you are?
    Yes...I get the sense that he and I are on the same level mentally and physically, its kind of fascinating because I dont think I've really ever experienced that before. Where its like you just know... I hope Im not worng or looking into this too much. I would hate to set myself up for something that's not gonig to happend.
    [quote="maze"]
    Quote Originally Posted by ISTP
    What do you think of the age difference?
    I love that he's so much older than me, I find it very sexy and seductive. He's very calm, cool and collected. Very gracefull and at the same time very very funny and playful. I just love that he's older, it almost makes me feel like Ive accomplished something...like Ive conqured something...
    Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.

  40. #40
    jessica129's Avatar
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    Where'd you meet?

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