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Thread: How do IEIs/INFps behave when attracted to someone?

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    Default How do IEIs/INFps behave when attracted to someone?

    How do you guys show interest in someone?

    Because I really need to talk to that INFp guy this year (some of you guys remember that thread). I blew a chance last year when he was sitting at a table alone (read: he wasn't surrounded by the friends), and I was too nervous to go up and talk to him.

    If you INFps give me some tips, I'll give you some dirt on ESTps for everyone's mutual benefit. :wink:
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    I need some good answers within the next week or so.
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    Okay, take this with a grain of salt since I may not actually be INFp anymore... but, if it were me, things to look for:

    - immediately gets this goofy grin when you show up, like instantly
    - laughs at most or all of your jokes (doesn't just do the smile and half-laugh thing, and doesn't hold laughs back)
    - (once I'm comfortable) touching - light punching, pushing, pulling your arm, etc. and I also kind of tend to let the ESTp have her way with me. In the past, one's played with my ears, jumped me from behind, stuff like that. If he doesn't outright push you away, it's a sign of interest.

    Aside from that... I tend to try and convince myself that I don't actually have an interest in someone.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    See that's the problem though. I got TONS of mixed signals from this guy. Sometimes he stares/grins/goes all , and other times he flat out ignores me.

    Maybe I'm the one that's giving the initial "mixed signal" to him, without realizing it when I'm doing it. My goal is to not do that at all this year, and to see how things turn out differently.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    Okay, take this with a grain of salt since I may not actually be INFp anymore... but, if it were me, things to look for:

    - immediately gets this goofy grin when you show up, like instantly
    - laughs at most or all of your jokes (doesn't just do the smile and half-laugh thing, and doesn't hold laughs back)
    - (once I'm comfortable) touching - light punching, pushing, pulling your arm, etc. and I also kind of tend to let the ESTp have her way with me. In the past, one's played with my ears, jumped me from behind, stuff like that. If he doesn't outright push you away, it's a sign of interest.

    Aside from that... I tend to try and convince myself that I don't actually have an interest in someone.
    Ewww, this is so INFp that you shouldn't really think you aren't I have observed them all 100%. Butt slapping too but since you're a male we aren't allowed to do it without looking like sexual maniacs even if we are

    Maybe I'm the one that's giving the initial "mixed signal" to him, without realizing it when I'm doing it. My goal is to not do that at all this year, and to see how things turn out differently.
    Yeah INFps tell us what do you perceive as mixed signals so that we can avoid sending them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Ewww, this is so INFp that you shouldn't really think you aren't I have observed them all 100%. Butt slapping too but since you're a male we aren't allowed to do it without looking like sexual maniacs even if we are
    Herzy's take on butt-grabbing:

    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy
    Butt-rubbing. Butts can be fun to rub or grab, or downright repulsive, depending on whose ass is getting rubbed or grabbed. For example, if it were, say, my fucking sexy INFp's ass, it would be totally fun. On the flipside, if it were my grandpa's, it would be downright disgusting. So let's talk about the INFp's ass instead.

    INFps have nice asses. They're the right amount of size, firm, and shape, perfect for your ESTp's wandering hands. It's not too big or small; but rather somewhere in the middle. They have a relatively good amount of muscle, but are not rock-hard (like a penis) either. At last, they're always a good amount of round also.

    Sometimes, a simple squeeze will sufface. Quick, and to the point. You spot the INFp ass up ahead. Time to go in for the kill! Proceed in a stealthy manner, up to them without them noticing. Outstretch your right hand, and take hold of the right butt cheek. Give it a quick but firm squeeze, and make a swift exit from the premesis. They will thank you for it later.

    Next comes the longer but less firm grab, good for public places. When you're walking next to your awesome INFp, smoothly propel the proper hand in the direction of your INFp's ass. Then, rest your hand there, but don't squeeze too hard. This is good to rest your hand; it's not like trying to get toothpaste out of an almost-empty container. Go easy.

    And then there is the double-hand grab, which is long, intense, and relatively firm. You usually stand in front of them, and reach around the sides, so you can get proper access to the rear side. I'll leave out the details here, or else I will get the banz0rz.



    And Auvi, I really hope you are still INFp / my dual.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Ewww, this is so INFp that you shouldn't really think you aren't
    I've got to agree, you are most assuredly INFp.
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    Usually when I am very attracted/interested in somebody, I will either pay a lot of attention to them or no attention at all, depending on how comfortable or confident I feel around them .. if you know what I mean.

    If you get to know me as a friend first, and then I start developing feelings, it is VERY obvious. I will constantly try and be close to that person. That's a thing I noticed about INFps.. say if you're walking ... they will try and always walk beside/near you. I always do that and I notice other INFps doing that too to their object of affection.

    With ESTps ... yes, I do let them "have their way" with me.. I find everything they say/do extremely hilarious. I will have a very shy smile and I will attempt to hide the fact I like them but not very effectively.

    Also, if I am NOT interested ... I will be very stand-offish. I'm not like those people who are friendly to every single person .. huggy and whatnot. I'm ONLY like that with CLOSE friends and guys I like.

    There is one other major thing. The way they LOOK at you. You just know... hard to explain, but it's like a very loving look, as if they are seeing you for the first time, gazing at you for longer than normal.


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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    There is one other major thing. The way they LOOK at you. You just know... hard to explain, but it's like a very loving look, as if they are seeing you for the first time, gazing at you for longer than normal.
    Kinda "bulging" eyes, wide open, the body-posture towards your co...your figure. The word attributed to the eyes is not carefully chosen, since it unfortunately evokes an animalish scenery, nonetheless nothing better was available at the moment.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    Okay, take this with a grain of salt since I may not actually be INFp anymore... but, if it were me, things to look for:

    - immediately gets this goofy grin when you show up, like instantly
    - laughs at most or all of your jokes (doesn't just do the smile and half-laugh thing, and doesn't hold laughs back)
    - (once I'm comfortable) touching - light punching, pushing, pulling your arm, etc. and I also kind of tend to let the ESTp have her way with me. In the past, one's played with my ears, jumped me from behind, stuff like that. If he doesn't outright push you away, it's a sign of interest.

    Aside from that... I tend to try and convince myself that I don't actually have an interest in someone.
    Yeah, I agree. That sounds INFp. I'm pretty much the same way when I like somebody.


    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy
    See that's the problem though. I got TONS of mixed signals from this guy. Sometimes he stares/grins/goes all , and other times he flat out ignores me.

    Maybe I'm the one that's giving the initial "mixed signal" to him, without realizing it when I'm doing it. My goal is to not do that at all this year, and to see how things turn out differently.
    Donít worry, sometimes when I really like a guy I get confused and will try to ignore them at times. Itís a fuzzy kind of feeling, and I canít help but smile a lot when I see them. Sometimes I am unconsciously unable keep my eyes off them, and when I become aware of this, Iíll try not to look at them at all.

    You have to be careful with some INFpís though, they have a tendency to be charming with everybody (even if they have distaste for that person). For instance, some guys think I am flirting with them while Iím really not... they develop feelings that I canít return. Donít get confused by this (you probably wont anyway if youíre an intelligent ESTp)

    Donít just randomly come at him with a pickup line unless you are incredibly smooth!! Sometimes when guys randomly ask for my number Iím at a loss of what to do. I generally donít like giving out my number to just anybody (unless theyíre incredibly hot & just plain sexy) so Iíll either give them a fake one, or lie and tell them I have a boyfriend. In some cases Iíll just feel so bad for the guy & I cant help myself... we suck at saying no... well unless heís just plain nasty. I remember just the other day I was in study hall, and this really loud guy on a phone just randomly gave me his cell phone, walked away and got his friend on the phone to ask me out for him... ew. Donít do things like that... its quite distressing.

    I like confidence a lot. If I see that person has a strong personality (and is not stupid) Iím instantly drawn to them. If the person is flirty and humorous at the same time its even more of a turn on. Try to approach them with an amusing smile on your face (a cute/sexy ESTp smile! ), and compliment them on something, chat with him for a few seconds then walk away to join your friends. For some reason I find it quite perplexing when guys do this, it leaves me interested.

    Try to play hard to get. When I donít think I can have a guy, it makes me want him even moreÖ Playing those little games can be strangely amusing for the INFp (but donít go overboard!)

    Anyway, thatís my advice... Iím a girl though, so it may be different for guys.

    I do have a male INFp friend though... I can try to describe his experiences with girls if you would like
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
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    Disclaimer: Again... might not be INFp...

    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy
    See that's the problem though. I got TONS of mixed signals from this guy. Sometimes he stares/grins/goes all , and other times he flat out ignores me.
    That means he's comfortable around you.

    But, yeah, you're in for a lot of mixed signals if this guy is anything like me. It's not so much what we DO that you want to look for, but what we DON'T. The more permissive the guy seems towards you, the better. Basically, watch for what he LETS you get away with.

    The thing to remember is, don't be phased by passivity. Negative reactions (this does not include ignoring you, but rather outright hostility) would mean he isn't into you, but passivity is just lack of initiative. We're insecure. It's hard for us to judge someone's feeling's towards ourselves so we end up in this sort of hot and cold thing and having battles with ourselves. Imagine: sex hormones and raging romanticism, but being really unsure whether you and this person are in the same league. This is from an old, old thread you might remember:

    Quote Originally Posted by BabyBackInTheDay
    I agree with Harry. Basically, what an INFp guy wants a woman to say is:

    "Look, I'm really into you and really would be willing to pursue a relationship - but only if you want to yourself. If you don't, that's still totally cool."

    Now... I've never had a girl be that direct with me, so I'm not exactly sure how I would react to it. But, I know that's what I have found myself really wishing for when I've been tossed into mind-games sometimes.

    If you do go the direct route, Kim, be prepared for a vague/half-assed answer... heh... we INFps are so confusing sometimes we don't even understand each other. If he says "Yes" but really means "No" he wants you to ease off. If he says "No" but he really means "Yes" then he need a buffer period of time to think about it first and then (perhaps a few weeks/months later) it's time to be direct again. If he says "No" and really means "No" then it's better to let it go. If he says "Yes" but really means "Yes" then it's best to keep your cool and go about it so that you don't make him feel obligated. Are you confused yet?
    After actually having been in a relationship with an ESTp since posting that, here's sort of how it played out: Suprisingly, I made the first move, even without knowing what she thought of me. We were with a group of friends, and this ENTp was drunk and being an ass and hurled a beer bottle at me. I sort of did this funny hop to the side, which made the ESTp laugh. I forget what I said, but we ended up walking out onto the porch and just talking. We talked for almost two hours. Time flew. I sort of thought of her as a social butterfly, who had the sort of life I couldn't really dream of - out of my league, definitely. But I actually asked her if she wanted to go to a club sometime. We exchanged numbers and AIM info, and next day she IMed me.

    The first date, she came up from behind and squeezed me really hard. I like being squeezed. That made me happy. From there she kind of opened up a lot, we started hanging out a lot more, and then the laughing, and the punching, and the ass-touching, and the sex insued.

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Ewww, this is so INFp that you shouldn't really think you aren't I have observed them all 100%. Butt slapping too but since you're a male we aren't allowed to do it without looking like sexual maniacs even if we are
    Lol, yeah you could get sewed for that if you're not careful. Best to start out with something above the belt first. Like tickling. Tickling is good.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    Baby, you described all of this better than I ever could have...
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy

    Herzy's take on butt-grabbing:

    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy
    Butt-rubbing. Butts can be fun to rub or grab, or downright repulsive, depending on whose ass is getting rubbed or grabbed. For example, if it were, say, my fucking sexy INFp's ass, it would be totally fun. On the flipside, if it were my grandpa's, it would be downright disgusting. So let's talk about the INFp's ass instead.

    INFps have nice asses. They're the right amount of size, firm, and shape, perfect for your ESTp's wandering hands. It's not too big or small; but rather somewhere in the middle. They have a relatively good amount of muscle, but are not rock-hard (like a penis) either. At last, they're always a good amount of round also.

    Sometimes, a simple squeeze will sufface. Quick, and to the point. You spot the INFp ass up ahead. Time to go in for the kill! Proceed in a stealthy manner, up to them without them noticing. Outstretch your right hand, and take hold of the right butt cheek. Give it a quick but firm squeeze, and make a swift exit from the premesis. They will thank you for it later.

    Next comes the longer but less firm grab, good for public places. When you're walking next to your awesome INFp, smoothly propel the proper hand in the direction of your INFp's ass. Then, rest your hand there, but don't squeeze too hard. This is good to rest your hand; it's not like trying to get toothpaste out of an almost-empty container. Go easy.

    And then there is the double-hand grab, which is long, intense, and relatively firm. You usually stand in front of them, and reach around the sides, so you can get proper access to the rear side. I'll leave out the details here, or else I will get the banz0rz.

    lol I remember when I randomly grabbed a guys ass. Totally out of character... but everybody in the room was amused.

    The guy was like
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    Aw, thanks. Oh, and one thing I wanted to mention from your post, Starfall:

    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    You have to be careful with some INFp’s though, they have a tendency to be charming with everybody (even if they have distaste for that person). For instance, some guys think I am flirting with them while I’m really not... they develop feelings that I can’t return. Don’t get confused by this (you probably wont anyway if you’re an intelligent ESTp)
    OMG, this has happened to me so many times. I play along and end up feeling obligated to reciprocate when I want nothing to do with the person. My advice to an ESTp who isn't sure whether the INFp is just playing nice or actually has an interest - I'm almost certain you guys can tell when we're faking it when other types can't. In fact, I think you're more sensitive to us than anyone else and more accurate at reading us (to the point of being a bit TOO sensitive). Things to look for:

    - he smiles and nods politely when you talk, and answers questions appropriately (perhaps even with a sense of wit) but immediately stops smiling when you stop talking and looks off into space - long breaks in the conversation
    - keeps hands and arms close to himself
    - you might get the feeling he's not really "there" - like he won't really follow you when you talk; the conversation is less than spontaneous

    The above are signs he's not really into you, but hopes he doesn't have to tell you and that you'll get the clue.

    To summarize:
    Spontaneous, free Fe-filled conversation + some touching on his part and willingness to be touched by you + occasional bouts of passivity = good

    Forced, stilted, boring conversation with lots of breaks + no touching on his part and backs off or asks you to back off when he's touched + overall passivity = bad

    Now there's no hard and set rulesabout this, so you're better off judging intuitively. Really, we're impossible to deal with. But generally, it's impossible to get an INFp into something he truly doesn't want without him throwing big signs at you. Only the completely and utterly clueless, stupid, and insensitive wouldn't get these clues. If you DO happen to be that clueless, stupid, and insensitive (which I don't think you are) and REALLY overstep yourself, I'd get outright bitchy, and not back off until I'm free of you. That's when you should back off.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    What someone said earlier is correct, sometimes a sign someone likes you is that you give you less attention

    I used to be like that all the time. If i liked a chick, i would give her less attention and kind of ignore her. The reason i did this was due to a mixture of insecurity, nervousness, fear & trying not to submit. I also knew that ignoring someone actually can spark some interest in them. If you keep ignoring them totally that interest wont last long though.

    Herzy, write a note to him or wink/wave at him babe. Let your be known.
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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    I used to be like that all the time. If i liked a chick, i would give her less attention and kind of ignore her.
    Really, never been able to understand this. A girl once was also like "ehehe, you're using the play hard to get strategy" and I "No I just don't like you". If you want you want if you don't want don't want and if you want you want now and if you play hard to get you get later even if maybe when you get it is hard
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    Default Re: Question for INFps.

    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy
    How do you guys show interest in someone?
    ok, i'm an INFp guy and I kind of have a crush on an ESTp girl and we only see each other maybe once a week cause i just recently met her through friends and she seems most comfortable in groups so i can tell you what i think would work....

    I understand you're shy and unsure about this so instead of immediately getting him 1 on 1 why not first invite him into a small group? do you have any female friends? if he's around two of you and you girls are taking turns asking him questions while talking with yourselves i think you will easily be able to differentiate his reaction to each of you... cuz you're with a female friend, when you say bye make sure to give him a hug and make sure your friend hugs him first and judge his reaction and then hug him yourself (for one second longer) and judge his reaction. then when you're walking away make sure to turn around and wave - then judge his reaction... if he waves back then he most likely likes you, if he just stands there and looks depressed then he obviously doesn't... if the results are inconclusive then repeat this a couple times... ~the fact is that we like attention but still he may react conservatively the first time you talk like this... once he's more sure that you actually think he's better than other -more typical- guys. then he will open up more. this should happen by the 3rd/4th time you focus attention on him for a reasonable period.

    Once he's comfortable with you and your friend in a general non-intimate setting then it's time to raise the stakes.... for example, have you and your female friend invite the INFp to a random non-girly movie (i.e. snakes on a plane). Now have it so you meet him at the theatres, furthermore make it seem like your female friend is late (while meanwhile you've already planned with her that she not arrive at all). This will give you one-on-one time with the INFp before the movie, then right before the movie starts you can pretend you got a text message or just tell the INFp that you're female friend can't make it but that it's fine and that the 2 of you can still have a great time.......

    ok so you have him alone, after the movie hang out with him outside instead of hurrying home, talk about the movie and if he's interested in you, then you will be able to see that his reaction to you (alone) is different than his reaction to you and your friend together. this is when you can get to know about his hobbies cuz you can start by talking about the movie then move to the topic of his favourite movie to music blah blah blah...... if he likes you then you will notice that after he answers your questions on these things he will than throw the same question at you because he will care what you're favourite movie/music etc. is.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    anyways thats the easiest/least direct way that i could think of... so:

    1) make him feel comfortable and acceptable (cuz he thinks he's weird)
    2) feel free to use means of deception like lying that you're friend can't make it to the movie, to get him alone, even if he found out he'd find it sexy if he was attracted to you
    3) after 1 and 2 if he likes you he will have started behaving a little differently than he did when you first talked to him with your friend... if he does then you will literally be able to do whatever you want to him so have fun...

    umm if you need more specific info then feel free to ask me, i merely based this advice on things i've noticed and thought about in my own experiences with hindsight in my possession...
    INFp-Ni

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    misutii You have made some nice suggestions but i think your complicating the situation. Over Analysis kills.

    Look. Guys aren't really that complicated. If you get the guts to show him your interested and ask him out your 3/4 of the way there. He would be flattered.

    Anyway i will leave this thread now as i am not an INFp
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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    HERZY.

    Time for you to spill the beans on how ESTps act if they are interested/attracted!!!


    Dress pretty, play dirty ღ
    Johari
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    As for me, there are usually 2 possible situations:

    1)I don't know any of the girl's friends/acquaintances
    2)I know at least one of the girl's friends/acquaintances

    If 1, then I usually try to position myself somewhere in order to have the possibility to look at the girl, but from an advantageous place, so that I can look away if she turns around. However, if I see that the girl is looking at me, I stare shamelessly directly in the eyes . If you haven't noticed me though, I can be very good at not making my gazes noticeable. It's likely that I'll try somehow to enter in a group of people that are friends of the girl. When I get acquainted with one of them, I ask him to tell the girl that I'm interested and judge her reaction. If the reaction is at least slightly positive I get her mob phone number/IM and somewhat contact her, but in a really casual fashion. If there is a positive response I don't waste time with chit chat via IM/sms: I immediatly ask for a date. However if the response is disinterested I don't keep pushing. I'm very good at detaching from a girl that doesn't like me and I never really develop feelings until I have had a rather strong feedback.

    If 2, then I directly jump to asking my friend to tell the girl and give me her phone/IM number. I'll usually try to hang out in the nearbies but it's highly unlikely that I'll approach directly risking an open rejection, unless I dunno, you start licking your lips and touching your genitalia making strange faces towards my direction

    Anyway, if I like you, and I know that you like me, I'm really straightforward about it so really, it's unlikely that you won't notice. If you don't notice, then I don't like you. Though don't expect eloquent expression of feelings via words but much more via deeds/physicality/witty double-meanings.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I'm back, assholes! Herzy's Avatar
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    Thanks so much for all the advice everyone! There's so much here that I could pick out and respond to, but it would take weeks! So this should sufface.



    So here's how it goes for me. There is some important background info on myself here, which might be a good read, simply because I might not be a "normal" ESTp in this regard.


    When I was younger (maybe from about grades 5-7 or so), whenever I was interested in someone, I used to tell a bunch of people, IE my friends. Well, that wasn't really yielding results, so I sort of started to become weary about the whole thing. (I did get my first boyfriend when I was twelve, however. He just flat-out asked me out, which was weird, heh.) So anyways, in seventh grade, I had this weird Norwegian ESTp friend, and he was a guy. We used to constantly hang out, because we were in a similar friends circle, and we both had similar interests (that includes being all and perverted ). So naturally, whenever I was interested in some guy at my school, I'd tell him all about it, lol. And naturally, he'd tell the guy, and probably a couple of other people (including my brother, sadly). I used to pick all the wrong guys back then, so therefore, nothing ever came out of it. I put up with this for a while, but about halfway through the year, I decided that this must stop. So from that point on, I completely stopped telling people who I was interested in. If I liked a guy, I'd just keep it to myself.

    To make a long story short, to this day, if I'm interested in a guy, and I haven't really gotten anywhere yet with him, I don't let anyone know about it. Not even my closest friends. I've lost my trust in them. Every once in a while, a friend would ask me who I was eyeing at the moment. I'd tell them that I'd tell them about it later, but never get around to it. Luckily, they weren't that persistant, so nothing would ever get out. Throw the fact that I'm bisexual on top of that, and it makes things a lot harder in that department.

    Through the years, I've learned how to get my friends to talk about all the guys that they like, and get a ton of dirt on my friend and that guy, but completely steer the conversation around so that my friends would pick up on no information about me whatsoever. My friends never figured out about that INFp guy that I was really into, or any other guy, for that reason. I sort of learned how to take all you can, while leaving nothing behind.




    So anyways, if I'm interested in a guy, I tend to not show flat-out interest, but rather, I just try to get as much eye contact happening as humanly possible. If we're walking through the hallway, I'd brush up against them, especially if the hallways were crouded, lol. That method worked pretty well for me on several occasions. If I know anyone in your social group (even if it's just one person), I would just randomly show up and start talking to them, but only if the person of interest is there at the same time. I'd try to get some kind of conversation going that the p.o.i. would relate to, because then I'd be able to talk to them about something they're interested in! Score! I wouldn't spend too much time there, however, in order to avoid looking needy and desperate. I'd go back and hang out with my friends again. I notice that when I'm interested in someone and I see them, I tend to detach a little more from my friends, so I stand out as a person, rather than blending in as a groupie.

    Most of the things mentioned above were things that I'd do in a generic situation. I'm thinking that this school year, things are going to change for me, because I'm much more self-confident than I was last year, and I stand out a little more (in a good way) in terms of my looks. I'm consiously going out of my way to not send any mixed signals towards anyone, which will probably help also.

    Since I am a girl, I'll sort of explain what this ESTp guy that I know did when he was interested in me. ( ) I seem to be good at getting the attention of ESTp guys, which is bad for me, because we're identicals. Well, so this ESTp guy was interested in me. He was friends with that Norwegian kid that I mentioned earlier, as well as my ENTp neighbor. They were the people who I hung out with most at the time (the ESTp Norwegian and the ENTp neighbor), and so whenever he saw me with them, he'd go out of his way to talk to them. At that time, I didn't especially like him, so I'd usually turn around, and have backpack battles with the Norwegian kid because it was awkward for me, and I needed something to do. I somehow doubt that he told the Norwegian kid about the whole thing, or else I would've definately heard about it earlier. He'd do the same thing when I was talking to other random people 1-on-1, such as when I was talking to my INFp ( <333 ) friend. I was talking to him, and Mr. ESTp suddenly comes up, says something to my INFp friend, and walks away. The INFp looks at me, sort of baffled, and is like, "What? I've never talked to this kid before. Why is he talking to me now?"

    One day, the ESTp guy comes in, and I suddenly notice how good-looking he actually is. At that point, he's talking to everyone at my lunch table except for me, but then finally makes his way to me. He gave me some compliment that was sort of muffled (He said something along the lines of "You look like a blahblahblahblah person." I couldn't exactly hear what he said.) He then tried to sell me some charity bracelet thing, which I probably would've brought if I actually had some cash on me. I told him that I was broke, and he sort of walked away while looking back with this sheepish grin on his face (almost like an INFp smile awwwwww! ). And, uh, that's my story. If you see an ESTp doing any of the above, and he isn't butt-ugly, you should probably talk to him when he's with your group.

    If you do something funny, and the ESTp laughs at you rather than giving you a weird look, it means that they probably have at least a minimal amount of interest, if not more.


    I need to do something else now, so blunt tips on how INFps in the past have caught my attention will be up next! Stay tuned! I realize that this was kind of long! Sorry.
    , Se-sub
    8w8-3w8-7w8 sx/sx

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    Default IEIs/INFps behavior when attracted to someone

    Haha sorry, for ANOTHER thread on IEI loving. !

    But I really need your help

    How does an IEI act when they are attracted to someone?

    How do they act when they love someone?

    I know that I am one, LOL but different IEIs and all...I can't work it out .

    Should I give examples for psych 101ing?

    :redface:

    Thankyou!

    Edit;
    Seriously. Aha, how'd you know if they are playing head games or for real?
    Last edited by dinki; 10-29-2009 at 12:53 AM.
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    Depends in what way I like someone.... Not that I'm out there looking for love anymore, but back when I was, I think this is how I acted:

    If I was "only" sexually attracted, I used to pretend to be SLE, and tried to impress him. I'd often make the first step, and be a lot more active and aggressive than I normally am.

    If I just "liked" someone, but weren't really interested in anything more than to be liked back, I'd try to be "my best". Normal. And loveable. But I'd dogde any invitations from his side by talking it away.

    If I was in love, I often went a bit more quiet. But relaxed. All focus on him, not on me, so I lost the self awareness I usually have/had. I bet I could sit and stare for hours. Or even close my eyes and just be in the moment. And I almost became a bit passive. And somehow dreamy. Or so happy I felt sad. Maybe naive, even? And when I spoke to them, I ended up expressing my surprise at the feelings I had completely honestly by saying really strange things like "I hear music in my head when I meet you" or "I feel like I'm floating in a beautiful city made of glass and crystal when we are together".
    Yikes, I get that feeling too ^. Lol aww, that's so sweet .

    Well we don't say that to each other, but we often say sentimental things... He will say, how we have an amazing connection and that he can't go a day without talking to me. He's always saying things like; I came back to school just to talk to you.

    Last edited by dinki; 05-15-2009 at 03:10 PM.
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

  24. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    If I was "only" sexually attracted, I used to pretend to be SLE, and tried to impress him. I'd often make the first step, and be a lot more active and aggressive than I normally am.
    Hmmh, I've gotten that from NiFe's. They have been like SeFi's, except more emotionally demanding. I've just haven't trusted that they are serious at all. So I have interpreted that as that they either joking or trying to get me to tell them that they are hot to feed their ego.
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

  25. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    I think all people (women in particular) when young and/or immature, look for others to feed their egos, only the way it's done differs from type to type.
    Yeah, that might have been the case, or might have been not. I mean that type of impressions I get from girls are probably worth nothing, and probably have no bearing whatsover with what they were actually feeling and what they motivations were. I just interpet that type of things how it seems "safest" for me. I see many options what it could be, but that "safe" option is what I decide it to be.
    Last edited by Warlord; 05-15-2009 at 06:52 PM.
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    LOL.

    meh at this. I know I want the SLE now. But I will most likely change my mind tommorow. ha.

    I really did think I was falling in love, but I just don't know anymore.

    :tongue:
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

  27. #27
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    Mystifying.

    How can you not know when you're falling in love?

    Srs question.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    How can you not know when you're falling in love?
    You could be falling in limerence.

    Signs you may have a severe case of limerance: heart palpitations, trembling and weakness deep in your body's epicenter, the chest. When the object of your limerance is in close proximity, you're filled with hope and uncertainty. You neglect other things, like your friends, work and hygiene. Your senses are heightened; You can suddenly hear dogs barking in Canada. In times of mutuality, you're filled with ecstasy. And in times of rejection, complete despair and ice cream-related weight gain.

    Though often dismissed as "having a crush," limerance cannot be confused as love or a crush. Crushes are fleeting, sparked by physical attraction. Love takes longer to develop, and occurs after knowing a person for who they are, not who you build them up to be.

    Limerance is a game, sustained by hope and fear and uncertainty. To win is to strategize — leaving the other guessing and wanting more. To lose is to be honest about how you feel. The less interested your limerant lover is, the more you want them, and the very mystery and indifference that characterizes your relationship is ultimately what destroys it.

    By the end of the summer, I realized I had more conversations with my limerant lover in my head than in real life. What I fell in love with wasn't him, but instead the idea of him, and the desire to win him over.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    Creepy-male

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    True.

    I suppose it's an Alpha thing to lump the two together.

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    I think it's a human thing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Mystifying.

    How can you not know when you're falling in love?

    Srs question.
    How do you know Gulanzon?

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    It's that anxious, clenchy feeling. It's hard to miss.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    It's that anxious, clenchy feeling. It's hard to miss.
    Couldn't those signs also be associated with infatuation? What's the difference?

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    Creepy-male

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    That's a good question.

    The answer is, "I can never tell at first, but one winds up lasting, and the other doesn't."

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    Seriously. How do you tell if they are playing head games or if they are actually into you haha?

    Like say, if you were 'friends'?
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ollobollo View Post
    I'm interested in this, too. I can't quite figure out a nice probable IEI I know. I've had long and deep conversations with her online, but IRL, it's a mix between having short conversations and her seemingly ignoring me (won't look at me when I try to gain eye contact).

    Feelings aren't easy. *sigh*


    Lol, I would say she likes you...but as if I know.

    - Ignores you because she doesn't want you.
    - Ignores you because she's wicked into you and needs you to initiate.
    - Ignores you because she knows you're into her and hasn't made her mind up yet.

    I do all of the above.

    Take your pick =/
    Last edited by dinki; 10-29-2009 at 01:32 AM.
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    Default INFps! how do you act when you REALLY like somebody?

    All(not depressed) INFps I met communicate with people in a very seductive way. And you can't tell if they like somebody or they are just playing around and having a good time.
    They are smiling at you, laughing at every of your joke and so the atmosphere gets more and more pleasing with every new hour... and then you start wondering maybe this INFp is like that with you cause he likes you?

    But the answer is always left unknown since INFps really lack straightforwardness.

    So please INFps open up yourselves here.
    What is the difference between:
    A: I want to have good time with you
    B: I really like you
    Sincerely Yours,

    Beyond the clouds. Beyond the sun.

    The Rebel without a cause.

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    hmmm, they might not know the answer to this themselves. It's kind of irrelevant at first anyway? Have fun and then see what develops. They might walk away from a really fun time and then decide later that they like you or it might take a lot longer. It may depend too on how they think you feel about them.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    hmmm, they might not know the answer to this themselves. It's kind of irrelevant at first anyway? Have fun and then see what develops. They might walk away from a really fun time and then decide later that they like you or it might take a lot longer. It may depend too on how they think you feel about them.


    maybe i should sing this song to the infp next time? just to make things clear...
    Sincerely Yours,

    Beyond the clouds. Beyond the sun.

    The Rebel without a cause.

  40. #40
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    nah, too much focus on what she's feeling. Just go out and feel and stop talking about it!!!!!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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