Inner Peace and Oneness

[Phantom Shadow]

All of my life I have felt an inner calm, a strong sense of self and unity with the world around me. I always try to maintain my composure under all circumstances; I feel as if it gives me a sense of clarity and understanding. Although there are moments where I lost myself; such as when my principals and values are violated, or when the natural order has been disrupted.

I was wondering if any of you can relate to this. When I am around most people I get the sense that their minds and hearts are clouded with a storm of emotions and thoughts. They always seem puzzled or confused by my dispassionate demeanor. Assuming that I don't care or understand what going on, or I am not as emotional invested as they are. Which may or may not be true depending on the circumstances, context, and perspective I have adopted.

[Pa3s]

This sounds familiar to me, even though this feeling has been much more distinct in the last few years. Similar to you, I think (and have made the experience) that calmness leads to clarity of mind which leads to a positive mood (something that could very well be described as a feeling of inner peace/oneness). Like most people, I had phases of nervousness and unrest which were caused by circumstances outside of my control, but I suppose most people did not notice a change in my behavior unless they were very close to me. More than once people told me that I wouldn't behave like a human or compared me to a robot.

[Skepsis]

Very similar here as well. I just don't seem to get all too worked up about things really, not showing very strong emotions or reactions. If anything, I tend to withdraw rather than display them. I see people around me getting upset over what seems like the most trivial things. In the grand scheme of things, it is not worth being in a state of stress and anxiety. I have found my balance so that I am able to focus on what's important in life and be able to do these things without the stress(for the most part). Stress and excessive emotion is caused by our own minds. If we can control our minds, then we can control the level of stress in our lives and make our lives more fulfilling.

Also, I attribute my own calm nature to being more of an observer of life, rather than an active participant. I try to not get actively involved in too many things that would make me feel uncomfortable, so the odds of becoming stressed become lower. Part of my own growth has been to take on doing things that make me uncomfortable while maintaining inner peace.

[Lotus]

All of my life I have felt an inner calm, a strong sense of self and unity with the world around me. I always try to maintain my composure under all circumstances; I feel as if it gives me a sense of clarity and understanding. Although there are moments where I lost myself; such as when my principals and values are violated, or when the natural order has been disrupted.

I was wondering if any of you can relate to this. When I am around most people I get the sense that their minds and hearts are clouded with a storm of emotions and thoughts. They always seem puzzled or confused by my dispassionate demeanor. Assuming that I don't care or understand what going on, or I am not as emotional invested as they are. Which may or may not be true depending on the circumstances, context, and perspective I have adopted.

it's very beautiful that you feel that way.

for me, it's been a battle to get to that point. i have always been plagued with anxiety and ego struggles. not being good enough, not having enough, the desperate need to consume substances to change how i feel... i've always been thirsty. there's something more, something better. by the time i was 18 i stopped caring about material gain, but i was still existentially hungry. the need for experience, wisdom, union with something divine. at the expense of my health and overall wellbeing i took any opportunity presented to me for transformation. sometimes it was drugs, sometimes it was relationships. i never turned down a chance for an adventure. i wanted so badly to escape myself and merge with something greater.

after years of mistakes and drug abuse i finally learned to keep it simple. to meditate and feel gratitude for the world and for myself, as i am. flaws and all. good and bad. to be grateful for everything the universe has given me, and everything it has taken away. i feel that inner peace now, for the most part. i feel that connection with the universe and it's given me so much clarity. sure sometimes i have bad days, but i'm only 22 and i have a lot of kharma that needs to work itself out. my irrational emotions exist as a stimulus for the lessons i've yet to learn. and again, i'm grateful for them.

[silke]

*accidentally stumbles onto an informal e9 convention*
**gently closes the door behind her to not disturb all the peace and calmness of this thread**
*commences observation*

[suedehead]

I relate to it but I actually hate it sometimes. Being involved in life or affected by things feels like a choice or an effort, as opposed to a reality, and I can tune out or give up on things without feeling anything.

That's why envy even people like counterphobic sixes who seem volatile because they always seem to have fight in them, or a desire to affect and be affected. I don't know how often they feel that...complete lack of love, naturally being ignored, hopelessness, regardless of how proactive about yourself you think you're being. Sometimes it feels bittersweet, or like an angry entitlement that I can channel in the right direction, but it's still there.

[xerx]

All of my life I have felt an inner calm, a strong sense of self and unity with the world around me. I always try to maintain my composure under all circumstances; I feel as if it gives me a sense of clarity and understanding.

I feel pretty much the exact opposite almost all the time.

[Phantom Shadow]

I feel pretty much the exact opposite almost all the time.

Would you mind elaborating why and how it has effected you?

[Phantom Shadow]

*accidentally stumbles onto an informal e9 convention*
**gently closes the door behind her to not disturb all the peace and calmness of this thread**
*commences observation*

You can see through closed doors? You have X-ray vision.

[strangeling]

It's strange because people think I'm calm and have inner peace. But inside my head is mostly chaos, a feeling of general unease, a cold anger. It gets through sometimes and people see it as hot anger, though it's just cold anger being proactive, rather than calculating. It's like an engine burning fuel, but containing the explosion of matter and directing it. And sometimes hitting the throttle is the best course of action.

It's the people that don't seem to have emotional drives that arouse my suspicion. I'd like to say it's because I don't relate, but it's really because they don't seem to have a point of reference to appreciate the motivations of the people around them and how they influence that.

[xerx]

Would you mind elaborating why and how it has effected you?

In general, I don't experience closeness with the environment. I maintain complete personal autonomy and interact through calculation rather than a holistic coming together.

But my attitude changes when it comes to a love interest or developing a talent, i.e. something very specific. For whichever stimulus is momentarily drawing my attention, my instinct is to unite with the external object in question, absorbing a new identity in the process. This doesn't generate your feeling of a timeless calmness; rather, it creates a frantic race to experience and understand the new reality to as much an extent as possible. (EDIT: Possible mechanism: E7 gluttony)

I wanted to draw on the distinction between Apollonian (for the former) and Dionysian (for the latter), but I don't want to make this post more pretentious than it already is.

[Aylen]

I can relate to calm and inner peace and when I was in the spiritual groups I had somehow become more E9 than E4 but it is more of a tertiary thing. It is easy for me to be calm when I am surrounded by calm, grounded people. Like in the eye of the storm I am calm but when it passes I am like wtf just happened and I get adrenaline rushes knowing I managed to be calm through something other's would find terrifying. On the other side of it though, I could become quite wound up by something small that others would shrug off. I am not going to mention what.

I would say I maintain some kind of calm yet chaotic state inside myself. On the outside I appear way calmer than I am but I am not an anxious person, usually. My body language probably does not show the intense amount of energy it takes to keep the wheels in my head spinning. Chakra work, cutting psychic ties, meditation and music helps. If I did not actively try to balance myself I can imagine that chaos would win every time. I feel like there is never going to be an age where I say, "damn, I am too old for this stuff" and truly mean it but I will keep working on it. I also believe in karma and I feel that a lot of the crazy stuff is me taking responsibility for things I did in other times and places and getting a different perspective on it this time. That helps me accept things in a calmer manner than I would if I believed that I was not connected to everything and everything has meaning/purpose.

When things get too calm I might want to ignite something, figuratively speaking. I used to think it was unnatural that people were not like me and I thought their lives needed something and they were repressing, which is something I do too. I don't believe exactly that anymore so I don't want others to think my ways are unnatural either but there is nothing I can do about them but accept there is no right/better or wrong/worse way of expressing myself. It all works out in the end and I learn so much from it.

Edit: I thought I would give an example of a situation I am calm in and others are freaking out. A few years ago we got hit by a couple of hurricanes. I was in an evacuation zone but my ex and I chose to stay home. It felt and sounded like the whole house was going to come down on us but I was so calm even though I was excited inside. He was too. I loved every moment of it. Our friends thought we were crazy for staying but for me leaving was not an option. I needed to be there for it. I felt oneness and inner peace with the storm.

[golden]

Calm and inner peace aren't things I can relate to. Sounds good, but they seem so far from me, I normally wouldn't even bother to imagine having them, or envy someone who does.

The closest things I can think of in my experience involve something so moving it brings me absolutely into and beyond the moment -- intense love for and merging with someone; and dancing or acting, any kind of performed art. So I'm becoming "one" exactly within the storm.

I guess I could see "peace" there, a sort of stillness that arises from being absolutely absorbed in and flush with life and the possibility of greater meaning. But it isn't very peaceful or calm, nor do I really want it to be.

[krieger]

it will fade.

[Contra]

I had that. I lost it about junior year of high school. I didn't lose it completely, but I've been simultaneously filled with a motivation to succeed and a nagging anxiety. The latter tries to extinguish the former.

[Esaman]

Closer to the opposite which would be:
State of Emergency - Bjork