EIIs Gravitating Towards Conflicting Quadra

[Cerelict]

There to my knowledge, and for the purposes of this topic, I am Beta NF extratrim.

I've heard a lot of instances where EIIs found themselves attracted to the "charismatic" nature of SLEs...thinking they're "cute" or something similar, even though they're conflictors. I'm EIE and all the EIIs I've talked to are more or less amazed by my unapologetic, "brave" nature. There's not a lot of specific examples I can whip out but this seems to become an issue a lot. Why are Delta NFs attracted to Betans?

[ashlesha]

this has come up IF i'm eii, because i tend to really like ieis and Ni.
eies are kind of a mixed bag. either really cool or too... shiny.
i don't have any particular attraction to beta STs. they are probably the types that interests me least sexually/romantically.
sles are a mixed bag as well and apart from my dad i have little experience with lsis.

when i am attracted to betas, "braveness" generally isn't really a factor. more like, interesting or deep or real. but those are qualities i like in people from every quadra. not just beta.

i'm curious to see responses to this question, especially from people who type me eii.

[Amber]

There to my knowledge, and for the purposes of this topic, I am Beta NF extratrim.

I've heard a lot of instances where EIIs found themselves attracted to the "charismatic" nature of SLEs...thinking they're "cute" or something similar, even though they're conflictors. I'm EIE and all the EIIs I've talked to are more or less amazed by my unapologetic, "brave" nature. There's not a lot of specific examples I can whip out but this seems to become an issue a lot. Why are Delta NFs attracted to Betans?

are you talking about a whole swarm of INFPs who tend to test as INFJ in mbti or on this site? Because the former is something I've seen a lot on youtube et co. I don't know why, probably the "J" factor is at stake, while the INFP type looks surreal and unappealing, too ethereal (the most sensitive, the eternal romantic..). I haven't seen many Fis passing for IEIs and finding SLEs cute on here. On the contrary, I've seen a lot of cold distance or conflict.

[Cerelict]

are you talking about a whole swarm of INFPs who tend to test as INFJ in mbti or on this site? Because the former is something I've seen a lot on youtube et co. I don't know why, probably the "J" factor is at stake, while the INFP type looks surreal and unappealing, too ethereal (the most sensitive, the eternal romantic..). I haven't seen many Fis passing for IEIs and finding SLEs cute on here. On the contrary, I've seen a lot of cold distance or conflict.

That's part of it.

this has come up IF i'm eii, because i tend to really like ieis and Ni.
eies are kind of a mixed bag. either really cool or too... shiny.
i don't have any particular attraction to beta STs. they are probably the types that interests me least sexually/romantically.
sles are a mixed bag as well and apart from my dad i have little experience with lsis.

when i am attracted to betas, "braveness" generally isn't really a factor. more like, interesting or deep or real. but those are qualities i like in people from every quadra. not just beta.

i'm curious to see responses to this question, especially from people who type me eii.

Ne-creative shouldn't be attracted to Ni. Period.
Ni is everything Ne is not. For instance, Fe is vulnerable to "bombardment" by emotional stimulus in its environs, while Fi lets the "water roll down the duck's feathers," unaffected by such stresses unless you personally confront them. Se is vulnerable to changing conditions, tries to achieve physical environmental homeostasis, Si is anchored, in its own physical cage. If anything, Ni and Ne should repulse.

[nefnaf]

I know an EII guy who hangs out with a Beta group. One of his buddies is an SLE. I actually asked the SLE about their friendship and he related that they argue / conflict with each other quite a bit, but are still friends at the end of the day.

We shouldn't really be surprised when people are friends with opposing quadra types. Friendship, after all, is a very flexible relationship which allows people to maintain their preferred psychological distance. Intertype relationships don't necessarily determine who you're friends with but they will influence the dynamic between two friends and how they interact with or relate to one another.

[yeves]

I'm EIE and all the EIIs I've talked to are more or less amazed by my unapologetic, "brave" nature.

My EII friend is attracted to both SEE females and males. It's easy to explain with types: SEEs are her supervisors. They have something that she feels that she lacks in: a vibrant, outgoing, self-starter personality. She gets over major hurdles when the circumstances push her or the people around her persuade her into it, but she doesn't want it to be that way. To be more like them, she simulates their Se and starts acting like an SEE because she thinks it's "cool" and that she doesn't "measure up?" to it - she listens to some hardcore music, goes out to parties, puts up posters with bright, vibrant colors in her room. But it's not her at the same time?

[Waster]

Perhaps it's because they think strong can protect them (their POLR after all). Let's not forget is LSE's demonstrative.

[Beautiful sky]

I have been very attracted to Beta ST because I mistook aggression and strong promenant role as "protective" which can be that sometimes. No type is so demonstrative of their ability to protect their family friends and loved ones like an LSE. He may act the part of the tame and gentle soft spoken guy but LSE say a lot of things that speak of the person who ddoesn't care much about people who they don't know. The LSE will have weapons for protection like firearms, will boast about their ability to fight someone, will even volunteer in certain situations, get their nose broken and laugh about it later on. SLI too can be this way. So, it's some sort of protective "man's man" nature of ST that I like since I'm tiny, soft spoken, it makes me feel as though I'll be ok in the physical regard. I say this because watch me jump two feet in the air of fright and watch an LSE comfort me then you'll know what it is that I'm talking about

[IBTL]

lungs is still SLI

[Amber]

SLE can also be protective, but rather with their offspring than with their partner. They are put off by signs of vulnerability and fragility in partners ime, they prefer seeing some sort of assertiveness and independence and are turned on by folks they can see as a challenge.

[willekeurig]

I wouldn't say I'm drawn towards betas. Individuals aside, befa NF:s come easily across to me as either deluded conspiracy theorists or hive-minded bimbos, and beta ST:s as narrow-minded jerks. Lots of drama queens and kings in both camps. A bit like the school football team & cheerleaders are portrayed in american teen movies.

Needless to say, there are of course lots of exceptions. In spite of his weak Ne&Fi I think my SLE dad is rather wise and dignified, some EIEs can be inspiring in their drive, and more intelligent and down-to-earth IEIs can be very insightful and wise.

On a general level my reaction beta is still closer to repulsion than attraction.

[bolong]

SLE can also be protective, but rather with their offspring than with their partner. They are put off by signs of vulnerability and fragility in partners ime, they prefer seeing some sort of assertiveness and independence and are turned on by folks they can see as a challenge.

Completely wrong. I guess if you're Se-creative and still acting vulnerable and fragile, they would be put off by that.

[Amber]

Completely wrong. I guess if you're Se-creative and still acting vulnerable and fragile, they would be put off by that.

completely wrong interpretation of what I said - yes. I've seen SLE put off by lack of confidence and aggression ...and not only once. But you know I don't buy all Socionics duality myths.

[Waster]

I have been very attracted to Beta ST

[Eliza Thomason]

I have been very attracted to Beta ST

I agree!

...because I mistook aggression and strong prominent role as "protective" which can be that sometimes. No type is so demonstrative of their ability to protect their family friends and loved ones like an LSE. He may act the part of the tame and gentle soft spoken guy but LSE say a lot of things that speak of the person who doesn't care much about people who they don't know. The LSE will have weapons for protection like firearms, will boast about their ability to fight someone, will even volunteer in certain situations, get their nose broken and laugh about it later on. SLI too can be this way. So, it's some sort of protective "man's man" nature of ST that I like since I'm tiny, soft spoken, it makes me feel as though I'll be ok in the physical regard. I say this because watch me jump two feet in the air of fright and watch an LSE comfort me then you'll know what it is that I'm talking about

LSE's I know can be protective, but the strongest quality I see is independence. My LSE brother - super independent, always was - expects that quality in everyone else.He seems to go for that quality in women, too. Independent and one he can laugh with. Also my EII friend who has been seriously dating a LSE - I can see this in him, too. However, I know you are very independent, so, you must be differentiating the quality of needing protection and independence.

As to @Cubozoan's OP, Yes, i see this. My EII sis-in-law is married to her SLE conflictor and their union has been full of conflict. They are making it work, but its hard for both. EII regrets that she "worked" to get him/attract him, those years back, and that she got what she wanted. She set her sights on him, and probably because he was protective. He seemed stable, hard-working, made a good dollar and could take care of her. All those things were true, but the J/P difference (rational/irrational) gets super-pronounced in Conflictor relations. A LSE also would be stable, hard-working, make a good dollar and take care of her. EII woudl feel safe and happy and being taken-care-of does not mean she is lazy. EIIs live productive lives, too, so LSE would respect her and take interest in her doings. Whereas SLE thinks her "rules" of living and her rants about things that "don't matter" are all too much, and he feels trapped with her ways.

[Waster]

Good dollar!

[Beautiful sky]

My EII friend is attracted to both SEE females and males. It's easy to explain with types: SEEs are her supervisors. They have something that she feels that she lacks in: a vibrant, outgoing, self-starter personality. She gets over major hurdles when the circumstances push her or the people around her persuade her into it, but she doesn't want it to be that way. To be more like them, she simulates their Se and starts acting like an SEE because she thinks it's "cool" and that she doesn't "measure up?" to it - she listens to some hardcore music, goes out to parties, puts up posters with bright, vibrant colors in her room. But it's not her at the same time?

I feel like they are strong, grounded, decisive and stand for their tastes. All of which I feel I want but can not attain.

[Rebelondeck]

Most people will gravitate toward anyone they consider physically attractive regardless of type; it'd due to our animal instincts. Sometime after hooking up when the blood has flowed back into the brain, type will help one figure out whether or not a wise choice was made.......

a.k.a. I/O

[Lord Pixel]

I click well with EIEs. With SLEs they are attractive from afar but up close hell no, which I think is the nature of PoLR attraction. It's as if you are watching someone that excels at your biggest weakness, it comes off as impressive. As far as EIEs, they are the only type that actually tries to look into and understand my soul, It's both refreshing and frightening.
I even dated an SEE once, but her Se pressure and my unresponsiveness to Se was what ended it.

[FreelancePoliceman]

I’m LII & attracted to SEEs. Perhaps types are naturally attracted to conflictors.