Member Questionnaire 1 (Strider)
What is beauty? What is love? They're qualia, maybe?
Beauty, I can only inadequately describe as a sense of satisfaction when regarding something.
Love, I describe as "respect + care" because whether someone's actions are caring and respectful is a more reliable indicator of sincerity than effusions are.
What are your most important values? Sincerity, kindness, creativity, humour, rationality (not the socionics kind), straightforwardness, autonomy.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? If God exists it didn't/isn't doing a very good job. The original products show poor workmanship, it takes thousands of years to get basic upgrades, and no warranty in sight!
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? War is disturbing. It is good to have a military but it's not good that it should be necessary.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? Health/wellness, design, sexuality, dancing, music, personality typologies, relationships (usually asking for help deciphering them), whatever books (usually sci-fi/fantasy) or games I'm into at the time.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? It's one of my favourite topics. Friends and family are constantly asking me about health topics because I'm fairly knowledgable about it.
I am fairly focused on my body. I am mindful of my health and physical/mental wellbeing, most of the time anyway. I'm a hedonist. I'm also kind of vain.
On vanity:
I have a lot of internal conflict surrounding my appearance. I want to look "perfect" at all times, partly because I want to be attractive and partly because I care about aesthetics in general and it applies as much to my own appearance as it does to my house etc.. I spend a great deal of time thinking about colours, patterns and shapes, and I build outfits in my head. Because the "harmony" of an outfit (it must match my complexion, it must smooth these curves, emphasise this characteristic etc.) is the primary consideration, I end up with a somewhat "conservative" taste (by this I mean: there are two styles of dress in different colours/patterns in my wardrobe) and need to be cajoled into trying new styles and colours (I only recently added pink to my wardrobe). I don't really like this because although the colours and styles I select do suit me, I feel like I'm kind of boring. My current attempt to reconcile my desire to be attractive and my desire to be interesting is to wear plain-coloured dresses with "funky" stockings. It seems to work, but I always wish for some cajoling.
I don't "follow" fashion. Fashion trends don't interest me; they largely seem to make women wear colours and styles which don't suit them. I'm interested in what other women wear outside of trends though; I enjoy seeing women look beautiful when they're wearing clothes that suit them. Does that sound creepy? I just feel happy for them. I don't judge women who are wearing clothes which don't suit them; selecting outfits is a learned skill and who has time for that, really. Time I spend on my appearance is time I can't spend on other things I want to do.
I am also incredibly lazy and just as focused on my physical comfort as my attractiveness. I sacrifice very little for fashion, which tbh doesn't help with the conservative taste. I will not wear uncomfortable shoes; I have 3 pairs of acceptable shoes (sneakers, boots, and surprisingly comfortable heels), carefully selected for comfort, and I will plan my outfit around the shoes I feel like wearing. I will not style my hair; ain't nobody got time for that, plus I pride myself on my healthy hair so I don't want to mess with it and in any case I think healthy and natural is more beautiful than carefully sculpted images. I won't wear makeup for the same reason -- and on that note, everybody looks better without makeup.
I also eschew commercial beauty products and things like skin/hair care routines. My skin and hair were rather less than ideal and I was using these products to "fix" it, then for time-related reasons stopped altogether and found that my complexion was much better when I interfered with it less often. This appeals to all of my desires for beauty, health, comfort and laziness.
What do you think of daily chores? Sisyphean.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. I love "River Monsters". The fish/history/local stories/etc. are interesting, Jeremy Wade is awesome, and the transient fear of stepping into rivers is kind of fun.
The most recent book I've read that I love is "The Stormlight Archive" series by Brandon Sanderson. I actually hate a bunch of the characters (like Kaladin, omfg he's infuriatingly angsty and conceited), but the series manages to be compelling enough to grumble my way through those chapters. I like the plot, I like the magical mechanics, I am amused by various aspects of the cultures described, and I like Shallan's chapters.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? That is an incredibly personal question. =\
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? Lying on my back under the shade of a tall tree.
At the beach when no-one else is around.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? I'm a bit naïve about social situations and find myself in awkward situations. Usually someone thinks I'm rude because I try to be straightforward. I also underestimate peoples' tendency to read between the lines, so I misinterpret people because I take them at face value and they misinterpret me because they don't.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? I'm told that I'm very gentle and soothing, very affectionate, and easy to talk to. People tend to come to me when they're anxious.
In what areas of your life would you like help? I'd like to be cajoled into trying new things in general.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. I have periods where I feel very bored and socially disconnected, but I don't really know what to do about it. I have a particularly difficult time fixing the latter; I'm very shy.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I dislike aggression and drama. I can get along with most people but I prefer friends who are talkative and enthusiastic, peaceable, down-to-earth, engaged in life.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? I'm not particularly romantic. Sex is very important to me.
In a partner, I want someone who is physically/verbally affectionate and clear about their feelings. I like vitality. I want someone who is into seduction and foreplay and pleasure; sex shouldn't just be about the penetrative bit. I want a good kisser. I want someone who will communicate and give feedback about what they do or don't like. I want someone who doesn't take themselves seriously. I want someone who won't demand all of my time and personal space.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? I have a toddler so this isn't hypothetical. My priority is supporting their development in a fairly organic kind of way. I want to allow them to explore the world (mostly) at their own pace and on their own terms without pushing them. I provide/enforce boundaries and mummy's word is law, but I want them to be able to make meaningful choices in a safe environment. I always give them a chance to cooperate of their own volition, and I give them warnings about my actions so they're not surprised by what I do when I'm enforcing boundaries.
I never really got into baby talk, I use a slightly watered-down adult vocabulary. This is partly because I'm not good at baby talk and partly because I think some parents don't treat their kids like human beings. I need to be in charge but that doesn't mean I need to be condescending. I hope that they can always feel respected.
I am big on autonomy, particularly body autonomy. If it can be helped, I won't touch him or allow him to be touched by others when he doesn't want it. He should never be forced into a hug or a kiss. It's less relevant now because he actually doesn't really touch other children, but when that comes up he'll learn about others' autonomy too. Hopefully this will be protective against sexual abuse if god forbid that's ever a danger.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? It depends on the belief. I don't know if I can generalise about it.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. People are quick to go to war with ISIS and slow to stop the spread of Ebola. There is something very wrong with that.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? They tend to choose me. I behave like myself?
How do you behave around strangers? Shy and polite.
Member Questionnaire (Strider)
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I'm definitely not shy though, lol.
