Secure-Social instinct (sp/so)
"To build my self-sufficiency, material comfort, and societal role."
Appearance: calm, polite, steady energy, grounded stance.
Role: builder, businessman, model citizen, protector, philanthropist.
This type seeks to achieve a stable, peaceful living. They are diligent about building financial and societal security for themselves and their loved ones. Reserved in nature, they may be sociable out of formality or the desire to secure useful alliances. They are often found in business or volunteer clubs that promote networking. Responsibility and sacrifice are their strong suits. Their relationships are based on loyalty and trust, more so than sexual intimacy or passion. Respecting privacy and space in their relationships, they may appear to lack warmth. Beneath the surface, they are deeply committed to their close ones. They live according to their means and dress without making a statement. Their homes and their relationships are stable, neat, and orderly. Their ideal partners are the Secure-Socials, Secure-Sexuals, and Social-Secures (sp/so, sp/sx, and so/sp).
Primary Instinct: Secure (sp)
Those with the Secure Primary Instinct are concerned with "nesting and nurturing." Focused on protecting the self, they ensure that its physical needs, comfort, health, and self-sufficiency are met. They are keenly aware of their environment, such as its temperature, safety, and cleanliness. They are inclined to make their surroundings healthy and comfortable. They need personal space and privacy while they avoid situations that make them dependent or vulnerable. They tend to be grounded and stable. Compared to other types, they may appear more mature and disciplined, as they are focused on practical matters. They enjoy nourishing themselves and others physically, such as with food or clothing. They prefer durable, material goods over intangible entities. They tend to preserve memories, traditions, rituals, and family heirlooms.
Secondary Instinct: Social (so)
The Social Instinct is channeled to serve the needs of the Secure Instinct. The result is that Secure-Socials contribute to their workplace and communities so that they can build financial and societal security for themselves and their loved ones. They are known to be dutiful and responsible at their work, rather than creative or free-spirited. They gain social status due to their steady contributions. Reserved in nature, they may be sociable out of formality or the desire to secure useful alliances. They are often found in business or volunteer clubs that promote networking. They see status and group belonging as a means to building security, rather than as ends. Their relationships are based on trust and loyalty, rather than passion. They live according to their status and dress without making a statement. Their homes and their relationships are stable, neat, and orderly.
The Primary Instinct can be both a strength and a weakness. When people with the Secure Primary Instinct become overly preoccupied with its fulfillment, they may obsessively worry about health. This may lead to eating disorders, obsessions with cleanliness, or excessive exercise routines. Likewise, some may become needlessly anxious about financial matters or mortality. Secure-Socials have the Sexual Instinct as their least dominant Instinct. As a result, some may lack energy and creativity in life. Their relationships may lack depth and intimacy, as they may have difficulty fully opening up to their partners. The dominant Instinct is often used to compensate for the least dominant Instinct. For instance, Secure-Social businesspeople may use their financial resources to recruit creative individuals to the workplace.
In relationships, they seek trust, loyalty, and stability. They demonstrate their loyalty by standing firmly with their partners at all times, through good times and bad. Compared to the other types, they are rather practical about picking their partners, as opposed to indulging in their passions. If they had to choose, they will prefer a stable, secure relationship over an intense, exciting one. They value independence and respect other people's privacy. They rarely become dependent or vulnerable, as they usually maintain some space from their partners. If they feel that their personal space is violated, they will resist, but not necessarily leave. A marriage to them is a sacred contract that should never be broken, unless the spouse breaks the agreement first. They see their mate as a lifelong companion, rather than as a part of them. Abandonment is their biggest fear, and betrayal is their biggest insult.
They live according to their means and dress without making a statement. Their homes and their relationships are stable, neat, and orderly.
A couple with similar Instincts is most compatible because it allows the two to walk in the same direction. This is the opposite from Personality, in which “complements” attract. Walking in the same direction allows a couple to reach mutually agreeable decisions, while having complementary Personalities allows the couple to solve problems using different perspectives. The latter also adds a sense of freshness to the relationship while preventing overlapping identities. Their ideal partners are the Secure-Socials, Secure-Sexuals, and Social-Secures (sp/so, sp/sx, and so/sp).
Secure-Social + Secure-Social (sp/so + sp/so): Having similar motivations and needs, the two find each other’s company to be comforting. With compatible Personalities, they are able to achieve a loyal, stable, and secure living together. They will respect each other’s independence and privacy.
Secure-Social + Social-Secure (sp/so + so/sp): The Secure-Social partner helps to achieve a stable and secure living while the Social-Secure helps the couple further integrate into society. The result is a well to do couple that is able to steadily move up the social ladder.
Secure-Social + Secure-Sexual (sp/so + sp/sx): Having the same Primary Instinct, they feel comfortable and secure in each other’s company. The Secure-Social partner helps the couple integrate into society while the Secure-Sexual helps the couple enjoy new, exciting experiences together.
If paired with someone without the Secure Instinct, they will feel unable to fully trust their partner. Their partner may appear disloyal to them, even when the partner had no such intentions. Likewise, they may feel that the partner is too invasive, or demands too much interaction. Meanwhile, incompatible partners will feel that Secure-Socials have an inner core that can never be penetrated, or that they are unwilling to fully put themselves into the relationship. The former may also feel that the relationship lacks vigor and that the Secure-Social lacks affection.
Secure-Socials feel most fulfilled when working on projects that are in line with the goals of their Primary Instinct. Namely, just as they seek these entities for themselves, they are good at providing protection, physical comfort, health, and material and financial security to others. With a Social Secondary Instinct, they have a greater awareness of societal needs and can navigate themselves socially to achieve the aims of their Primary Instinct. They prefer careers that allow them to build financial and material security through established institutions. Examples of careers that they may enjoy include:
Health Care Administrator
Real estate Developer