Type this newbie

[melebula]

Hey all, I'm new to Socionics... I've entertained MBTI for a bit but I'm really fascinated by how thorough Socionics is. So, without further ado....

What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty is culturally determined. If most people can agree something is beautiful, I would say the thing is objectively beautiful. If I met someone who thought, for example, deodorant packaging were beautiful, I’d look at them strangely, but I’d understand that as long as the beauty is legitimate to them, it also works. So, beauty can be objectively and subjectively defined. Love is defined to me as involuntary loyalty to a person you value.

What are your most important values?
Honesty and loyalty, in my closest relationships.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I appreciate religion and spirituality, and may even adopt some of their philosophies, but I can’t say for sure that there either is or isn’t a metaphysical plane or “realm” where spirits/God reside, so it isn’t something I spend my time thinking about because I know I’ll never figure it out.

Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
They’re necessary and destructive for various reasons. Human nature is complex and conflicts will always arise. It’s due to this that war is an inevitable part of human interaction and militaries are needed to provide security in those situations. I can see both sides, pro-war and anti-war, so I don’t really have an opinion on it.

What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I’ve enjoyed long conversations about the scientific nature of the universe and the mystery of what’s yet to be discovered about it. I’ve also had long conversations about analyzing other people’s motives. I like art. I’ve been drawing since I was a child. I always had a vivid imagination and liked to create my own characters and worlds. Science is also something I enjoy, because I like to know how things work, and I also enjoy philosophy in that same regard.

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Mental health mostly, but yes. Someday I aspire to be someone who’s more health-conscious. Whenever I make an effort to exercise and eat right, it’ll only be in short bursts until I grow tired and deem it to be pointless. I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. Sometimes it feels like I’m not safe in my own body. I wouldn’t say I’m ever really focused on my body unless I’m really sick, in pain, or if it’s really cold.

What do you think of daily chores?
Something I have to urge my lazy self to do every day, but I understand its importance, because it creates stability in life. Although I can be lazy and messy, I hate living in a mess. It stresses me out, but my depression makes me so tired I can’t bring myself to fix it.

Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
Can’t recall specifics… I wouldn’t say I have favorites. I love books/movies that are morally ambiguous/psychological –mentally stimulating. My least favorite movie genre is action, because I don’t see the point in mindless thrill.

What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I rarely cry because I prefer not to, but when I do, it’s when I’m fighting with a close family member and they completely dismiss my reasoning/feelings and treat me as if I’m inept. That’s during an intense fight. Movies and stories I find “touching” can make me cry.
Humor makes me smile. I like joking around with my friends. Our conversations are probably 90% laughter. Usually if other people are smiling, I’m smiling too. Sometimes, I’ll smile uncontrollably to myself when I’m alone because I thought of something funny, or about the irony of a situation.

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
When I’m with people I connect with, who I know really enjoy and value my company and what I have to say (and vice versa).

What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
People have said I’m too easily stressed out and worry too much, and that I can be stubborn in my opinions. I dislike that I worry too much. I can also be really indecisive. I will analyze a situation until my brain hurts, stressed out that I can’t find the answer. I have a crippling amount of self-doubt.

What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Many people have said they look up to me and that I’m intelligent, funny, talented, strong, and insightful. I like that I’m talented in art, and analytical to the point I even impress myself with the answers I come up with.

In what areas of your life would you like help?
I have depression/anxiety and I’m trying to cope with it. I also have problems staying motivated. Most of the time I’d rather lie in bed and do nothing.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes, right now – I’m 22 years old, still live at home and can’t afford to move out yet. I already have mental health issues and living with a dysfunctional family who fights a lot only makes them worse. I often worry that because of my depression, life will forever remain pointless and I’ll never get anywhere in the one life I have to live. I’ll never get to move out and have the freedom to be “myself” and experience life.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I like people who are genuinely intelligent and insightful, and not the kind of fake holier-than-thou “nerdy” intelligence some people try to be. I like people who are consistent – they say what they mean and mean what they do. It irritates me when someone contradicts themselves, or say one thing, and then do another. I also like it when people are considerate and humble. I don’t like people who are obnoxious and blunt and pride themselves for being that way. I can’t stand immaturity, or when people don’t conduct themselves appropriately in social environments. Socionics types I get along with? I seem to attract and also be drawn to LII-INTjs. One of my closest friends in particular is an INTj. They’re so down-to-earth and logical. It’s NTs I usually click with.

How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I don’t care for sappy romance because it’s kind of pointless to me. Like going through the motions. I like being affectionate and playful. That’s how I show I love someone. Cliché gifts like flowers and poetry are just weird… I’m generally not interested in sex with someone unless I trust them and build some kind of connection with them. It comes naturally to me after that. Qualities I want in a partner are: intelligence, creativity, ability to think critically, insightfulness, considerate, funny, introspection, ambition, confidence, and sharing of my weird sense of humor. I’m generally okay with being single. I’m not really looking for anyone. I just like to let relationships happen because I think, if it’s right, then it will “feel” right and happen on its own - there will be no need to force it or go through mating rituals. People who play manipulative games are irritating

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I don’t want to have children. I can’t stand the thought of something unable to fend for itself completely depending on me. Pregnancy also REALLY creeps me out. If I were to raise a child, I’d be worrying that I would be neglecting its emotional needs because I'd be already dealing with my own, and I can't afford to make that sacrifice

A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
It depends on the belief… If they say something that’s obviously, factually wrong, I’m going to point it out, and it will irritate me inwardly if they don’t accept it. Other times, I’ll just think to myself, whatever, I’ll just let them be ignorant and get on with my day.

Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
People as a whole are “blissfully unaware” and are really more alike than they are different. Individual people are all little complex systems in constant communication with one another that ultimately forms one big complex system. Society itself operates as an individual brain operates. I have an almost minimal relationship to society. A lot of well-known music, for example, or celebrities, or cultural references, I have no idea about because I don’t pay attention. When I interact with the rest of the world, it’s as if I’m looking through a lens and observing how these beings operate. Nevertheless, I’m still part of that giant collective “brain”. Sometimes I really feel connected to people; other times, I want to be alone because I hate everyone. What I consider a prevalent social problem are people who accept a way of thinking just because it makes them feel good, not because it’s actually factually correct and beneficial to society, and anyone who challenges them on it is deemed as a bad person

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
They kind of just come to me. I’m more willing to hang out with people I feel I have a strong connection with – people who really “get me” and who I really get. I just let relationships happen. I don’t really “choose”. I behave like a comedian around them because we’re always joking around, but we can also have deep conversations I can appreciate.

How do you behave around strangers?
I prefer to listen and observe rather than talk. I’m uneasy around strangers, for the most part, because I feel obligated to seem interested in small talk, and I’ll be acting the part, but it’s very draining for me. As I get more comfortable with the people, I’m better about being quiet.

Here are some pictures of me:

http://oi60.tinypic.com/ifsi77.jpg

http://oi62.tinypic.com/wqoxaf.jpg

Thank you!

[Contra]

You VI Gamma NT to me, though I'd say you look more ILI. The answers to your questions also sound ILI. I definitely resonate with a lot of what you said. I REALLY don't get the sense you are alpha. Just my impression though.

[ryoka14]

My guess is EII

[Amber]

Fi>Fe valuing. She seems to be a Thinker from what she says. I could see ILI, but this messes with such a typing:

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
They kind of just come to me. I’m more willing to hang out with people I feel I have a strong connection with – people who really “get me” and who I really get. I just let relationships happen. I don’t really “choose”. I behave like a comedian around them because we’re always joking around, but we can also have deep conversations I can appreciate.

In pics she looks Gamma and she's quite good at that.

obviously IP temperament : In what areas of your life would you like help?
I have depression/anxiety and I’m trying to cope with it. I also have problems staying motivated. Most of the time I’d rather lie in bed and do nothing.

[Contra]

Fi>Fe valuing. She seems to be a Thinker from what she says. I could see ILI, but this messes with such a typing:

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
They kind of just come to me. I’m more willing to hang out with people I feel I have a strong connection with – people who really “get me” and who I really get. I just let relationships happen. I don’t really “choose”. I behave like a comedian around them because we’re always joking around, but we can also have deep conversations I can appreciate.

You really think this messes with being ILI? I'm very socially effusive and engaging when I'm around people I'm comfortable with (even if I just met them), especially if they are Se egos (not that they have to be). I find IEIs to be a little more calm/chill around their duals whereas I have all this energy I try to get out..

[ryoka14]

Fi>Fe valuing. She seems to be a Thinker from what she says. I could see ILI, but this messes with such a typing:

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
They kind of just come to me. I’m more willing to hang out with people I feel I have a strong connection with – people who really “get me” and who I really get. I just let relationships happen. I don’t really “choose”. I behave like a comedian around them because we’re always joking around, but we can also have deep conversations I can appreciate.

In pics she looks Gamma and she's quite good at that.

obviously IP temperament : In what areas of your life would you like help?
I have depression/anxiety and I’m trying to cope with it. I also have problems staying motivated. Most of the time I’d rather lie in bed and do nothing.

If she has depression then wouldn't that not suggest IP temperament?

[melebula]

I don't think one's emotional state would have much to do with type. They are disorders after all, and no one is immune to them.

If it helps at all, I'm 5w6/6w5 on the Enneagram.

After looking into both EII and ILI, I relate much more to ILI.

I'm usually attuned to other people's relationships and emotions, though. I just don't concern myself with them unless I deeply care about those people. Sometimes I can be completely oblivious. In a social setting, I will often bite my tongue and refrain from being blunt when someone is acting inappropriately/self-absorbed and emotional because I don't want to cause further disharmony. I will feel bad if I make my disapproval of someone known. I will talk behind their backs and go on a tirade about how much of a mess they are to close friends that I trust not to get the word out. Although I experience intense emotions, I keep a level head and want to remain cool and collected, so I disrespect those who let their emotions hang out.

When someone expects me to react emotionally to something, I want to go dig a hole and hide in it. I avoid funerals for this reason. I will appear neutral and most people would get the wrong impression, as if I didn't care, when in fact, I'd feel deeply for those who lost. I hate showing my emotions. Even in therapy, I'd rather just talk about the problem and find a solution to it, but then the emotions show on my face and I try to look away or cover it up, not only because I feel my emotions are private and meant for my "eyes" only, but also because they waste time while I'm trying to articulate my point in an objective manner.

What gives the impression that I favor Ni over Ne?

[Amber]

Unless you are a more restrained and level-headed E_I E5 ...you come across as ILI. I don't really see much evidence for LII, just from what I've read your thinking doesn't have Ti linearity and rigidity. You're more fluid, less aloof, and on a first sight less up-in-the-clouds-detached-from-reality theoretical. Btw you seem attuned enough to what is supposed to be your tertiary/mobilizing/whatever function as a ILI.

[Contra]

What gives the impression that I favor Ni over Ne?

Ne doms are usually "silly" in some sense of the word (and if they aren't silly they usually at least have their hand in geek culture to some extent). Ne creatives are more subtle in their sense of humor but they are generally much more rigid than you come across. Honestly, you could probably just look at the Ne egos on this forum and know what I mean. I would do more to convince you but I really doubt I'd have to. If you aren't ILI you are probably ESI, but I think it's clear enough that you prioritize the intuitive and logical functions over the sensory and ethical.