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Thread: My LIE turned into an SLE...! And SLE/IEI interactions... had to share.

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    Default My LIE turned into an SLE...! And SLE/IEI interactions... had to share.

    So I recently started working as a server in an upscale (ish) restaurant. I believe I mentioned this on another thread. Anyway, I love it because the atmosphere is sooo Beta.

    So as soon as I began work there, I started looking out for SLEs - since many of you have suggested that they hang out at restaurant/bars. Sure enough, one of the cooks turns out to be ESTp. Actually, we do get along wonderfully, and he is attractive - I wouldn't mind something more developing...

    Anyway, while this little thing is going on, there is this other dude working at the bar, who is positively an asshole. For example, he loves to tell me that my hair looks like shit, and push me around in general; he acts like he knows everything - which is why I typed him as ENTj. He is the sort of guy who thinks that every woman wants him, and is lucky to get him. And loves to flaunt his knowledge on every subject. And: not attracted to this guy. I should just say that my general interactions with both of these guys has been mostly flirtatious - in the most light-hearted "Come on, play the game" way, that only Betas truly understand.

    Yesterday, however, I had a several hour long conversation with this bartender. He had begun to share more and more embaressing, potentially inviting judgmentalism stories about his past with me; I would alternate between nodding sympathetically, and throwing some biting sarcastic comment back at him. He told me that he hates people, and has killed several of them (he is an ex-marine). He finds it ironic that he is working in bartending, one of the most people-oriented professions. He wants to break free. I pointed out that there is a very profound similarity between tactical and interrogation (which is what he did) and the restaurant business: manipulation of people. And I do that too. In fact, I start every work shift by focussing a moment alone by myself to recollect my goal and tactics, which are: to manipulate other people emotionally, so that I can get them to do what I want, and make more money. Anyway, this topic the manipulation lead to us both commisserating on how we really couldn't care less about our jobs. We are ENTIRELY in it for the money. There is absolutely no personal investment there; in socionics terms, no Fi. Suddenly, I had a revelation: this guy is no ENTj, he's an ESTp all the way. How did that happen!? It happened so quietly and simply; it just became apparent that we are basically the same person, we cover the same psychological territory but different parts of it. Sooo cool!!... We both have admitted that we are the same person. And we totally know how to push eachothers buttons, while at the same time intuitively understanding what would actually be offensive.

    The main intrigiging factor I have taken from this whole interaction is that you will NOT necessarily be romantically attracted to your dual. But the duality relationship will be just as strong. And duality is the most comfortable thing in the whole world!!

    I believe the reason I did not at first realize this bartender is SLE, is because he is a Ti subtype. I am not as familiar with them... the cook, I immediately reckognised as an Se subtype. Ti subtypes are colder, I find, while Se subtypes are a bit more laid back, and more hands-on and have a generally warmer feel.

    Ideally, Ti ESTps should compliment me more than Se, since I am (I think) an Fe INFp. Still not sure how I feel about this...

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    FWIW, LIE's are IEI's supervisor and share IEI's thinking style. Their contact functions are which are the same as IEI's, they literally can think in a very similar manner to IEIs. So he still could be a LIE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by point View Post
    So he still could be a LIE.
    Well... he COULD - except I'm not getting that strong Fi Gamma judgemental vibe. lol jk (but not really)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Estel View Post
    . There is absolutely no personal investment there; in socionics terms, no Fi.
    Uhm, you shouldn't believe that Fi-quadra types are always personally invested in what they do. It'll higly depend on the type of job. I've been through plenty of jobs where I had absolutely zero personal investment.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Oh guys, you are so cruel, let her float in her langourous illusions...


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    Quote Originally Posted by Estel View Post
    So I recently started working as a server in an upscale (ish) restaurant. I believe I mentioned this on another thread. Anyway, I love it because the atmosphere is sooo Beta.

    So as soon as I began work there, I started looking out for SLEs - since many of you have suggested that they hang out at restaurant/bars. Sure enough, one of the cooks turns out to be ESTp. Actually, we do get along wonderfully, and he is attractive - I wouldn't mind something more developing...

    Anyway, while this little thing is going on, there is this other dude working at the bar, who is positively an asshole. For example, he loves to tell me that my hair looks like shit, and push me around in general; he acts like he knows everything - which is why I typed him as ENTj. He is the sort of guy who thinks that every woman wants him, and is lucky to get him. And loves to flaunt his knowledge on every subject. And: not attracted to this guy. I should just say that my general interactions with both of these guys has been mostly flirtatious - in the most light-hearted "Come on, play the game" way, that only Betas truly understand.

    Yesterday, however, I had a several hour long conversation with this bartender. He had begun to share more and more embaressing, potentially inviting judgmentalism stories about his past with me; I would alternate between nodding sympathetically, and throwing some biting sarcastic comment back at him. He told me that he hates people, and has killed several of them (he is an ex-marine). He finds it ironic that he is working in bartending, one of the most people-oriented professions. He wants to break free. I pointed out that there is a very profound similarity between tactical and interrogation (which is what he did) and the restaurant business: manipulation of people. And I do that too. In fact, I start every work shift by focussing a moment alone by myself to recollect my goal and tactics, which are: to manipulate other people emotionally, so that I can get them to do what I want, and make more money. Anyway, this topic the manipulation lead to us both commisserating on how we really couldn't care less about our jobs. We are ENTIRELY in it for the money. There is absolutely no personal investment there; in socionics terms, no Fi. Suddenly, I had a revelation: this guy is no ENTj, he's an ESTp all the way. How did that happen!? It happened so quietly and simply; it just became apparent that we are basically the same person, we cover the same psychological territory but different parts of it. Sooo cool!!... We both have admitted that we are the same person. And we totally know how to push eachothers buttons, while at the same time intuitively understanding what would actually be offensive.

    The main intrigiging factor I have taken from this whole interaction is that you will NOT necessarily be romantically attracted to your dual. But the duality relationship will be just as strong. And duality is the most comfortable thing in the whole world!!

    I believe the reason I did not at first realize this bartender is SLE, is because he is a Ti subtype. I am not as familiar with them... the cook, I immediately reckognised as an Se subtype. Ti subtypes are colder, I find, while Se subtypes are a bit more laid back, and more hands-on and have a generally warmer feel.

    Ideally, Ti ESTps should compliment me more than Se, since I am (I think) an Fe INFp. Still not sure how I feel about this...

    I'm not sure if you typed him ENTJ only by those "markers" ... but none of the LIEs I know behave like that. Te base is judgemental towards matters of competence (what you know, what you can do, how effectively you can do it). I have yet to hear one getting "jerky" about ppl's looks in such a vulgar way. That's rather the domain of Se (obvious&objective external qualities of objects plus in your case some drops of "lemme be the stronger one here"). Actually I'd be surprised if LIEs could notice when someone's hair looks like shit ...

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    That's a really cool story.

    I would point out that some of the things you're ascribing to Beta (and Gamma) don't resonate with me or my experience.

    Also, re what @point wrote, I have an ex who was my Superego, and I was always struck (pre-Socionics) by how we had such different values in one sense, yet always focused on the same issues in various situations, and came to the same conclusions about how to interpret things and solve problems. Same with other Superegos. Same with my Supervisors, we share tons in common when it comes to exchanging views on how we see the world and approach things.

    I have also seen that SLE-Ti is not as easy for me to spot. (But generally, rational subtypes throw me off a bit.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Solaris View Post
    Actually I'd be surprised if LIEs could notice when someone's hair looks like shit ...
    i may even notice but i would never say anything lest the other person coming back with a comment regading my own appearance
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    Oh guys, you are so cruel, let her float in her langourous illusions...

    Ok.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    Oh guys, you are so cruel, let her float in her langourous illusions...

    Why thank you, much appreciated.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    i may even notice but i would never say anything lest the other person coming back with a comment regading my own appearance
    I wouldn't say anything, either, if I wore cherry red pullover&canary yellow socks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Solaris View Post
    I wouldn't say anything, either, if I wore cherry red pullover&canary yellow socks.
    durr how could you know that, stop stalking me
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Apparently the Restaurant biz is the perfect background for a romantic love triangle between a cynical bartender and a cook. It's like Grey's Anatomy moved out of the hospital and into the kitchen-- pulled between McSteamy and McDreamy. Jesus just what I wanted to hear, now we can go through the entire staff in a montage like some corny 90's sitcom.

    No offense to the OP.

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    Flirting is great and normal, but protecting your heart is perhaps the wisest choice because I can tell that you still crush on him. The blunt self confident comments, the marine body, the killing, the jaded outlook about the world that can only be fixed by female compassion... the killing. All of that masculine stuff is recipe for 'playa' and the type of guy that *a lot* of women are turned on by. Then you want to be really competitive and be the girl he chooses and win his affections over all the other girls [suck it susan, I got the alpha male dick and not you!] , but in his view you're just another person to put on his chessboard.
    Last edited by bnd; 09-23-2014 at 03:25 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Estel View Post
    there is this other dude working at the bar, who is positively an asshole. For example, he loves to tell me that my hair looks like shit, and push me around in general; he acts like he knows everything - which is why I typed him as ENTj.


    When I first met my bf I typed him ENTj for the same reasons, i.e. if someone told me they liked my hair he would chime in and say it looked stupid. The way he looked at me also made me self-conscious. So I thought he must be my supervisor. But he turned out to be ISTj, I was really bad at the time recognizing Se-creative.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moonraker View Post
    Apparently the Restaurant biz is the perfect background for a romantic love triangle between a cynical bartender and a cook.
    ...Except there's really no love triangle. lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by blood moon View Post
    When I first met my bf I typed him ENTj for the same reasons, i.e. if someone told me they liked my hair he would chime in and say it looked stupid. The way he looked at me also made me self-conscious. So I thought he must be my supervisor. But he turned out to be ISTj, I was really bad at the time recognizing Se-creative. [/COLOR]
    haha yeah similar...

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    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    Flirting is great and normal, but protecting your heart is perhaps the wisest choice because I can tell that you still crush on him. The blunt self confident comments, the marine body, the killing, the jaded outlook about the world that can only be fixed by female compassion... the killing. All of that masculine stuff is recipe for 'playa' and the type of guy that *a lot* of women are turned on by. Then you want to be really competitive and be the girl he chooses and win his affections over all the other girls [suck it susan, I got the alpha male dick and not you!] , but in his view you're just another person to put on his chessboard.
    lol. Dude. Thanks so much for the words of wisdom - but he's really not attractive. I wish he was, that would make it more fun... I just find it rather ridiculous - and hilarious - that he thinks he is!

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Uhm, you shouldn't believe that Fi-quadra types are always personally invested in what they do. It'll higly depend on the type of job. I've been through plenty of jobs where I had absolutely zero personal investment.
    Thanks for the clarification. Good to know; we can empathize then!
    Ive also noticed that LIEs don't seem to appreciate taking the heat for all the other assholes in the world... lol Poor things.

  20. #20
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Estel View Post
    ...Except there's really no love triangle. lol
    What's it called if four people are involved? Love square? And is pie involved somewhere here?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Estel View Post
    lol jk (but not really)
    LOL

    See how it plays out. (:
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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