So I recently started working as a server in an upscale (ish) restaurant. I believe I mentioned this on another thread. Anyway, I love it because the atmosphere is sooo Beta.
So as soon as I began work there, I started looking out for SLEs - since many of you have suggested that they hang out at restaurant/bars. Sure enough, one of the cooks turns out to be ESTp. Actually, we do get along wonderfully, and he is attractive - I wouldn't mind something more developing...
Anyway, while this little thing is going on, there is this other dude working at the bar, who is positively an asshole. For example, he loves to tell me that my hair looks like shit, and push me around in general; he acts like he knows everything - which is why I typed him as ENTj. He is the sort of guy who thinks that every woman wants him, and is lucky to get him. And loves to flaunt his knowledge on every subject. And: not attracted to this guy. I should just say that my general interactions with both of these guys has been mostly flirtatious - in the most light-hearted "Come on, play the game" way, that only Betas truly understand.
Yesterday, however, I had a several hour long conversation with this bartender. He had begun to share more and more embaressing, potentially inviting judgmentalism stories about his past with me; I would alternate between nodding sympathetically, and throwing some biting sarcastic comment back at him. He told me that he hates people, and has killed several of them (he is an ex-marine). He finds it ironic that he is working in bartending, one of the most people-oriented professions. He wants to break free. I pointed out that there is a very profound similarity between tactical and interrogation (which is what he did) and the restaurant business: manipulation of people. And I do that too. In fact, I start every work shift by focussing a moment alone by myself to recollect my goal and tactics, which are: to manipulate other people emotionally, so that I can get them to do what I want, and make more money. Anyway, this topic the manipulation lead to us both commisserating on how we really couldn't care less about our jobs. We are ENTIRELY in it for the money. There is absolutely no personal investment there; in socionics terms, no Fi. Suddenly, I had a revelation: this guy is no ENTj, he's an ESTp all the way. How did that happen!? It happened so quietly and simply; it just became apparent that we are basically the same person, we cover the same psychological territory but different parts of it. Sooo cool!!... We both have admitted that we are the same person. And we totally know how to push eachothers buttons, while at the same time intuitively understanding what would actually be offensive.
The main intrigiging factor I have taken from this whole interaction is that you will NOT necessarily be romantically attracted to your dual. But the duality relationship will be just as strong. And duality is the most comfortable thing in the whole world!!
I believe the reason I did not at first realize this bartender is SLE, is because he is a Ti subtype. I am not as familiar with them... the cook, I immediately reckognised as an Se subtype. Ti subtypes are colder, I find, while Se subtypes are a bit more laid back, and more hands-on and have a generally warmer feel.
Ideally, Ti ESTps should compliment me more than Se, since I am (I think) an Fe INFp. Still not sure how I feel about this...