Member Questionnaire (Simonas Ssmall)

[Simon Ssmall]

Member Questionnaire 1 (Simon Ssmall)

What is beauty? What is love?

Beauty is what you make of it, it is something that one considers either aesthetically pleasing or something you consider emotionally warming. In both cases what it actually is is usually shaped by our own experiences, societal norms and universal laws (symmetry, genes etc.).
Love is probably the strongest form of attachment that forms a long term bond between people. It evolves and changes very gradually (as opposed to "falling in love" type of feelings). In either case love is often irrational which in turn can lead people to make unexplainable actions/choices, sometimes they are grand, sometimes the opposite. It can be the main driver for persons decisions/actions.

What are your most important values?

It is difficult to point out the exact values, it is not a checklist that I follow. I mainly care about the intentions of people and that sometimes can make a lot of difference in terms of how I perceive certain actions. Overall if the intentions are good/explainable I will perceive those actions as ok and vice versa.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

I'm an atheist.

Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

War for now is inevitable even though I think it is the worst possible thing that can happen. People uselessly die due to someones ambitions/retardation. The thirst for power is usually the cause. Power to me is the ability to shape and change your surroundings/world, the more power you have the more you can change.

What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

Travels, people you meet, experiences. Personal journies and dreams. My interests revolve around people, I do not have hobbies as such. I find constant stimulation in meeting new people/traveling.

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Nah, it is just another topic. I may go nuts if you start sprouting homeopathy to me. I am in general oblivious to what my body needs and I hate exercising (unless its cycling, rowing, hiking etc.)

What do you think of daily chores?

I do not think of them.

Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

Ill name some random ones. Movies: Cafe de Flore, La grande bellezza, A good year, Buried, Moonrise Kingdom, Pulp Fiction, Bad Education. Books: Alchemist, How Nations Rise and Fall, A Song of Ice and Fire Series, Spider World Series, Post Office, The Cather in the Rye.

What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

Family/people close to me. In general I control my emotions outwardly very well so I don't cry normally. My son usually makes me smile, while things that make me close to crying usually revolve around my mother and her not coping well with the real world.

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

On a boat, in the lake.

What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

Not standing up for myself (I do very well when I need to stand up for someone else though), letting things slide. That is probably my main weakness and the things that makes my life difficult. There are other things like: being very distracted, having poor memory of dates/directions etc. but I do not consider them as really impacting my life in a negative way much. I guess being very flicky with my relationships was one of the weaknesses I used to have as well.

What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

My curiosity, positive outlook. I thrive for new experiences/challenges and as such it leads to me experience lots of wonderful things. Some people see it as my main strength, the ability to dive into unknown situations with ease and adapt to any situation. I guess people skills would also be a strength I have, both in the way I can make people relate to me and in the sense that I read them relatively accurately.

In what areas of your life would you like help?

Taking care of stuff. Basically taking care of all the details that are required in your life, starting from fixing a tap, paying the bills and ending with negotiating a better room at a hotel. There are lots of small details in my life that I dread taking care of but unfortunately it is up to me to do.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

Sure, everyone gets stuck from time to time. I hate it with passion but unfortunately sometimes you go into that mode and it is difficult to get out of. As I hate such situations with passion I try not to get into such situations by constantly moving/doing/changing stuff.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

I get along with all kinds of people. My friends all have very distinct types/characters. Again, I think I look more into the intentions of people and not to the way they are. I do get along best with easy going types though as I hate pushiness.

How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

Romance was a driver in my life for around 10 years and it was constantly on my mind. Romance usually was more important than sex, that is until I found out there can be bad sex. So overall both of these are important to me. As for qualities I do want freedom/space for myself. I want to be my own person with my own interests, my own friends and my own time, there is nothing more off putting for me than constraints.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

I am raising a child, the main concerns to me is how to avoid negatively influencing him and how to let him grow up with as less constraints as possible. To let him play, experience, experiment, try and fail etc. That does not mean I let him do whatever he wants though.

A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

I would state my opinion and leave him to it.

Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

People as a whole are capable of so much more than they are doing now and I think the prevalent social problem is that we have wrong drivers for our lives. People in general should seek and understand their dreams and not try to survive, unfortunately life puts a lot of people in a situation where they have little choice.

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

I choose people I feel easy to be with. I act differently with different friends, with some I have a more intellectual bond, with some more adventurous bond etc. That does not mean I am a different person with them, just that the focus on interaction is in different places.

How do you behave around strangers?

Depends. Sometimes I am guarded, I don't enjoy social gatherings where I do not know anyone etc. On the other hand I feel comfortable chatting up some stranger if there is a context for it.