Oh, I didn't even think it was that bad. I've got posts that are a lot more embarrassing than that here. I do get what you mean by manipulative though. It reminds me of the adaptation of L in Death Note. He was taken to a darker, slightly evil character in the manga
Originally Posted by lungs
There are many types of monsters in this world, monsters who will not show themselves and who cause trouble. Monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood, and monsters who always tell lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance. They are much more cunning than other monsters. They pose as humans, even though they have no understanding of the human heart. They eat, even though they've never experienced hunger. They study even though the have no interest in academics. They seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such a monster, I would likely be eaten by it because, in truth, I am that monster.
And it freaked me out a little because I understand it on some level, too much detachment and concealment of one's nature or thoughts can...really fuck with the head, creates a sense of lost humanity, no connection. And that is shady, perhaps even a little scary to think that there is no defense for someone like that because there is no way to know anything about them, while yet they know a lot about everyone else.
I think I almost died yesterday on the highway. There was an overpass that I went under, but it was a sharp turn around to the other side. I couldn't see what was on the other side until I got there. As soon I got out of the turn I was going about 70 mph and a car about 75 meters in front of me was at a dead stop. I had to break in between cars to not get hit. If they would have swerved into me, I probably would have gotten knocked off the motorcycle and run over.
i don't drive. it totally freaks me out. there are so many ways you can make a small mistake and i make small mistakes all the time. i forget my phone when i leave the house. i burn the cobbler. i forget to wash my makeup off before bed. none of these mistakes have serious consequences but in a car the equivalent sort of little "oops" could mean DEATH. it doesnt make sense though because i'm totally willing to put my lives in the hands of the complete strangers who drive me around on a daily basis, and when im in the car with my friend, who is a comically bad driver, i find it kind of exciting and funny. so my explanation of why i'm scared of driving isn't really complete, and i don't know how to describe it completely. its irrational.
It always surprises me how much adrenaline gets pumped during holy shit moments like this,
Anyway, driving can be pretty dangerous no matter who you are. I sold a car to someone that had a story about a senile guy driving backwards on the highway early in the morning with fog on the road. He was in his friends car and by the time they saw the guy, he couldn't be avoided. They collided and his car was hit so bad the engine was removed from the car and thrown away from the car. He said he didn't have his seat belt on and put his legs up on the windshield to brace the impact with his legs; good thing he did, because apparently the engine smashed through where his legs would have been and ...uh...removed them. And he was probably telling the truth because he had his friend there to fill in details and he ran a dealership and raced cars for a living, which fucked him up in other accidents. I think his spine was damaged or something and couldn't handle the vibrations of certain cars. I wonder what his type was, I guess it was probably SEE or SLE, though he seemed to make me feel comfortable talking to him, so I'd say probably SEE.