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Thread: Lost opportunities and regret

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    Idiot Iris's Avatar
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    Default Lost opportunities and regret

    I finally cleaned off my coffee table after needing to for a long time. I ended up with a stack of books, a larger stack of magazines, and a small pile of travel brochures, mailers about local theater, and thank you notes.

    When I finished clearing, I felt sad and anxious. Sadness over the shows I missed due to disorganization and procrastination, and another year passing without taking the trips I would have enjoyed. Rereading the thank you note, I felt sad that I did not get a chance to more deeply connect with my guests while they were visiting me. Anxiety while putting back the magazines, wondering if I would really sit and read them even though the topics looked interesting.

    The coffee table is just one spot in my house that causes these emotions. Everywhere I look I see lost opportunities due to inaction.

    Yes, this is definitely a first world problem, but what is wrong with me? I have had a good year in which much good has happened, but I feel regret that I have not done more, seen more, learned more.

    Does anyone else struggle with this? I know that I just need to get over myself, but how?
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    Moderator Reficulris's Avatar
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    I struggle with that occasionally.

    not sure "you need to get over yourself" i mean, it usually passes right? It's a byproduct of seeing more opportunities than you can humanly persue. It's normal to miss opportunities, but you don't have to like it. If the year was good you took the opportunities that, at the time, seemed the best for you. The rest is cost of opportunity, so nothing else to do but make the best of the coming year too

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    Idiot Iris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zap View Post
    it's pretty much my life in a nutshell. bunch of giftcards which could only be used for 3 yrs which I never around to use. investments which I felt I should've made but never did. could've gotten hobbies esp physical ones but never did. ppl who are more stimulus seeking are more darwinistically fit.

    Im an ectomorph, which one are u, ref & iris?
    Endomorph.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I take most opportunities and I never have regrets. I'm very optimistic about the future even if in reality it's bleek and even if I get into the deep depressive cycle. I always wish that things can happen that I can't often control directly. My dual cousin says "well it didn't happen and now what are you going to do about it? " most often the reaponse is "shoot myself in the head" but I'm her baby...she'll not npt like this option very much. She behaves lovingly and gingerly around me when I cycle down.

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    Idiot Iris's Avatar
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    I can be very optimistic about situations that many might think are pretty dire, because I often think I have the power to resolve it successfully (Se HA.)

    I never have a "things always work out for the best" attitude, because I don't believe it is true. I think you have to intervene in situations to try to make things work out for the best.

    Perhaps this discouragement is related to my inability to successfully plan in certain situations. I can be quite a good planner on occasion, especially if there is some great benefit to be obtained. But in daily life I don't seem to plan well.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    I relate to everything you're saying 100%. I don't know how old you are but it's getting worse for me as I get older, and I'm still young. It's my 21st birthday this time next month and all I can think about is that it's been half a decade since I left school and all the time and opportunities I've wasted and all the things I've wanted to do but haven't, even though I'm objectively doing pretty well and I've achieved/am achieving most of the things I've set out to do.

    I really wish I didn't have to sleep. ;-;

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    Oh, I had a regret years ago. But I ripped it out of my memory like an old weed and it ain't been back since.

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    "People who dont have regrets are people who have not learned anything over the course of thier life. How can someone not reflect on the impact of their mistakes?"
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Moderator Reficulris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zap View Post
    it's pretty much my life in a nutshell. bunch of giftcards which could only be used for 3 yrs which I never around to use. investments which I felt I should've made but never did. could've gotten hobbies esp physical ones but never did. ppl who are more stimulus seeking are more darwinistically fit.

    Im an ectomorph, which one are u, ref & iris?
    ectomorph too

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    "People who dont have regrets are people who have not learned anything over the course of thier life. How can someone not reflect on the impact of their mistakes?"
    or





    I believe we can all reflect and learn while not holding onto regrets.

    Edit: I am going to take back the part about "all reflect" because I know people who say they don't. I think most can though.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    ectomorph too
    Same and this deserves a thread that I have mentioned starting before. @Pookie

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    I'm slightly concerned about lost business or work opportunities during the past, but I also believe I took most of the "good" ones and I could have hardly done better given my information at the time. Not terribly concerned about lost experiences, I've always known that life is short and I already "completed" a fair amount of experiences I wanted to "live".

    Some mix of meso and ect btw.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    "People who dont have regrets are people who have not learned anything over the course of thier life. How can someone not reflect on the impact of their mistakes?"
    stop trying to be so perfect.

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    i do the same think with collecting show brochures and never attending any of them =<
    unholy water sanguine addiction

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kill4Me View Post
    stop trying to be so perfect.
    Gain some Humility
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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