I finally cleaned off my coffee table after needing to for a long time. I ended up with a stack of books, a larger stack of magazines, and a small pile of travel brochures, mailers about local theater, and thank you notes.
When I finished clearing, I felt sad and anxious. Sadness over the shows I missed due to disorganization and procrastination, and another year passing without taking the trips I would have enjoyed. Rereading the thank you note, I felt sad that I did not get a chance to more deeply connect with my guests while they were visiting me. Anxiety while putting back the magazines, wondering if I would really sit and read them even though the topics looked interesting.
The coffee table is just one spot in my house that causes these emotions. Everywhere I look I see lost opportunities due to inaction.
Yes, this is definitely a first world problem, but what is wrong with me? I have had a good year in which much good has happened, but I feel regret that I have not done more, seen more, learned more.
Does anyone else struggle with this? I know that I just need to get over myself, but how?