Member Questionnaire 1 (kadendelion)
What is beauty? What is love?
Aesthetic quotas ingrained in us by evolution. I am unsure, I have considered this just today, actually.
What are your most important values?
Myself. I don't believe I care much for real life. Whatever is going to keep me alive and thinking.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I do not worship The Creator, or a god. I do believe in a vast many things. I believe in dimensions, life paths, all that meta-physical stuff.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
Oh, lord. I wish everyone just stopped. Power is something a whole plethora of xSxj want, and I don't appreciate xSxj whatsoever. Sometimes I want power for my vendetta's sake, but, once I got it I'd play hot potato and call it a day.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
MMMMMMMM. THE BRAIN. PEOPLE. MEDICINE. SCIENCE. TRANSDIMENSIONAL BEINGS. MY CONCEPTS. MY FRIEND'S CONCEPTS. ALIENS. THE FAR FUTURE. I don't really care about much else. There are so many enigmas and mysteries. I feel the need to solve each one, if that makes sense.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm. --actually, I love to study the human body and mind, but I am unkempt and dehydrated and rather sleep deprived. I suppose I don't practice what I preach?
What do you think of daily chores?
You see, I am cleverly lazy. It takes an intelligent person to be as lazy as I am. I avoid everything I'm responsible for with such diligence, and that, is where I hold my self worth.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I can't read books or watch movies. They bore me so badly. I enjoy watching medical shows and documentaries on the theoretical.
Short films appeal to me, as well.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
Ah. Loneliness. I feel like an alien. I don't belong with the others. I feel the others don't want to belong with me. I want to communicate. I want to relate. I want validation.
Clever puns and stupid puns. Stupid jokes. Nonsense.
It just looks so out of place it's funny. It's perplexing.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I don't. That's the worst thing, I think.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
-I'm lazy.
-I don't make sense.
-I'm erratic.
-I'm not a renaissance man like I would like to be and that bothers me.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I don't have any that people see.
I only think I'm smart sometimes. That's what I like about myself. Sometimes I don't like myself at all because I don't think I'm smart.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
Communication. Motivation to perform the mundane.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
I swear. ...

Again, my inability to communicate. Invalidation. I feel like I'm going nowhere, fast. Like I'm in some kind of sandbox game. It's just an extra. I have no meaning. I just explore. I don't do anything about what I find. I don't feel I can. When I tell someone about this, they don't understand.
And they say: "You're a great person!" like they always would. I'm beginning to question if it's automated...
I ask them why and they don't reply. I really don't know.
It throws me into a deep hopelessness. I usually just walk away from the situation and block out my emotion with loud music, or other superficial stimulus.
Does my knowledge matter if someone knows what I know and more?
Do my ideas count if I don't document them in a readable language that someone wants to read?
What am I, if not my thoughts?
and if my thoughts aren't shit-
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I like people-people. I like people who just don't care what company they're in as long as they are accompanied. I like people who like me. I like people with great senses of humor and those who share my "enemies". I like intelligent people. I like concept artists.
I seem to get along very very well with my INTj friend. My INTj brother-in-law gets along with me as long as there isn't anyone else around. (maybe it has to do with the "filter" he uses?) I seem to get along with the ESFj, and ESTp. I get along with my identity best. When I am around an ENTp, the world just stops.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I rarely experience romantic attraction at all, but I seem to be attracted to stable, deep-thinking minds and patience. Romance has to be mutual. Sex has to occur under my rules, or I won't have it.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Neglect. I'm afraid I'd kill it accidentally. Physically, if not mentally. What if I ignore it? I'm afraid It'll grow up like me. ... Is that not what you meant?
I'm so inconsistent...
I think, for RAISING the child, I would be concerned for it's intellectual expansion. Not like school learning, but I would try to get it to explore a great many things. I would try to teach it little things here and there like a fact or two every dinnertime, and if it were to--
I'm scared it would be lonely like me.
I can't have a child.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
I don't believe in too many things, and when I do have beliefs they aren't taken personally... Typically... My inward reaction feels like... We had this nice system going on, like an assembly line. And all of the sudden some part of it gets mucked up and the whole line stops. Like, "Hahaha--wait. What?" that thing. I suddenly get a little heated, but heat is good for a well oiled argument, eh? It becomes a weird half-joking one-up battle, (if they can keep up with me, ugh.) Usually I can get them to at least OUTWARDLY side with me. If they actually have a good point, then I will side with them and then give my two cents, after.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
"I hate what I can't have." That thing.
I don't like people because I'm not one of them. If I were like them, I'm sure I would be happier. I would like myself, being one of them. I'm not. So I'm mad.
People consume constantly, and they don't think much about it at all. They are too reliant on outward stimulus. They enjoy, and then they die. I only don't like it because I can't do the same thing.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I want to befriend anyone. Them befriending me, that's the hard part. My friends I do manage to keep usually have their own little mind-worlds, just like me. I like thinkers.
I let myself loose, if that makes sense.
How do you behave around strangers?
The same way I behave with EVERYONE, Pinky. Really. I almost have no filter. (This is a fifty-fifty kind of thing. When people see this they either get turned on to me, or really turned off.)