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Thread: How do you improve your life?

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    Default How do you improve your life?

    How many of you take an active role in improving your life?

    If you do, how do you do it? Do you make lists? Do you resolve problems?

    I personally like to take a look at all the areas in my life that need improvement. For each area, I list a few things I can do every day to work towards improvement. Improvement comes about as a change in how you live your entire life, not just what you do in one day. Recently, my goals have been centered towards improving my mental and physical health, learning things I want to learn, and improving my skills.

    I usually find it hard to stick to these things as my mind is a chaotic place and I usually defer from one train of thought, but I hope that this time, maybe a journal will help me stick to it.

    I'm interested in what you people do to improve your lives.

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    i think about it more than i actually do it, lol. there are things i know i could do to improve my life - quitting smoking, eating healthier, meditating, being more proactive about writing and creating - that i always have in the back of my mind, but my attempts at them are sorta half-assed. i tend to gravitate towards people who do these things and hope the habits will rub off on me. they eventually will! maybe!

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    I used to try following the guidelines in self-help books, thinking they knew more than i did. But after so many failures at following them, I began adapting them. Problem was i didn't have all that knowledge to draw from, so it was a frustrating process. I now read books and articles for ideas as I sort through to find one or two key principles that could help.

    I mostly now use lists as a brainstorming tool. And then prioritize those items on the lists according to "If I could work on A but not B, or B but not A, which would help me be more happy/productive?" Then after I have that prioritized, I start from the bottom and start crossing off items that are negotiables, merely dreams but aren't hugely important. This leaves a short list of things that I feel i really really need to work on. Then for each I might make its own list of things I could do that might lead me to that ideal, and go through the process again until I have one or two key steps to take; or I will ask myself what small baby step can i take that would lead to the greatest benefit with the least effort.

    My ideals and 'goals' constantly change, depending on the mood and context of when/why I am making the initial list. But there are certain areas of life that remain consistent. Such as striving for a clear, clean, comfortable home, tending my favored relationships, finding ways to reduce expenses or increase my income, improving my nutritional and fitness health, pursuing an interest/hobby/project, and discovering what kind of spirit I want to leave behind.

    One article i read had listed 5 major areas of life: Health, Wealth, Relationships, Experiences, and The Void. I reinterpreted the Void as being related to one's energy or influences that others pick up on and carry into their own lives. Aka, one's 'Spirit', or 'meaning' (as in "In the spirit of ....").

    I have also reduced Maslow's basic needs to Survive, Connect, (Co)Evolve. The latter includes not only personal growth and learnings but also helping others to grow and learn as well.

    And then there are the three fundamental goals of Be, Do, Have. Every goal people make involves at least one of these verbs.
    Be:
    a) Quality
    b) Position

    Do:
    a) Projects
    b) Habits

    Have:
    a) Information
    b) Tools
    c) Experience
    d) Stuff
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    I relate a lot to your post @anndelise

    Self improvement has been an interest and active persuit for me ever since i was a teenager.

    Things I do to improve my life:

    Read self help books (effectiveness 0, fun 8)
    Make lists with desired qualities, hobbies, contacts, possessions (effectiveness 2 fun 5)
    Actively reframing believes (effectiveness 5 fun 5) (alternatively effectiveness 10 fun -1000 which are the situations where I get truely fucked up and pay someone to drag me out of one of my mental pittfalls)
    Listening to hypnotic tapes (Effectiveness ? fun ? (I actually go down like a lamb shot by a stray hunter, and honestly have no idea what i'm allowing others to program into my mind.)
    Arguing with PUA's/Lifecoaches (effectiveness -10, fun 10)
    Trying now hobbies from the list (effectiveness 8, fun 8)
    Making art to define my deep inner soul (effectiveness ? fun 10)
    Talking to people about the above (effectiveness 4, fun 10)

    my approach to self help in general is to like the tools but dislike the goals. For instance, there's a lot of books about how to get rich. Well, I like their ideas, but in general, being rich, or staying rich doesn't really interest me. Same with women, status, power... I like the "Idea of control over my destiny" more than the actual control, since i wouldn't really know what direction to steer in with that control. So I use this stuff mostly to: a. get rid of stuff that hinders me in the now. b. annoy people who think they have figured it all out. c. help people who are lost/seeking and suffer from that state (not those that are perfectly happy searching).

    One thing i've always done is to describe my ideal self. The set of abilites, attitudes, frames, possessions that I think/hope are latent in me. Than I forget about the list and a few months I make a new one. Time passes and I make a third one and look in my evernote account and find two identical ones (from the previous attempts). Ofcourse, i've not become any closer to my list at all in the time in between so it's extremely futile.
    The above can be considered UNHEALTHY btw. It's one of those things self-help kinda encourages, but tention between percieved (ideal) self and actual self creates discongruency that can lead to anxiety and depression. (having a too extreme distance between these two could be considered one of the defining features of NPD, so thread carefully). However, not having an ideal self, or too close to actual self kinda makes one not likely to change, so i don't know... I keep doing it, it's fun and maybe one day i'll look at the list and think "hah, did that all" (and die).

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    Yeah, I think it was Horney who said that the differences between the Ideal and the Real leads to Neuroticism. (She may have picked that up from someone before her, I dunno. It was her I read that from, and the concept really felt right to me.)

    But I also approach life as an editing process. I can edit it a little here, a little there, and each edit will slightly tweak the overall feel of...my life. But like any worthy editing process, it helps to put the item on a shelf or in a box and take a break before going back to it to see what might need some more editing.

    But, also...I admit that i am highly Neurotic.
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    Following through on things, and making less excuses. That's basically it.

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    boring!

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    I try to focus on fairly specific big goals and improve my performance accordingly (ofc i dont always reach them)
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I love how the Ne doms are all about brainstorming and making lists
    For me it's a lot more simple than that (not saying more effective. Just not at much thought process to it)
    I'm always focusing on making more music. The more that improves the more my life will improve.
    I'm always trying to think of ways to navigate my life to get me closer to my music goal.
    For example, I'm trying to think of the best way and the best time to move to a bigger city, and I'm still reconsidering what city that will be.

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    I am literally guided by my dreams, as in sleep not goals, most of the time. I don't think in terms of actively improving my life but it happens all the time, sometimes in a chance meeting or just some kind of luck.




    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I am literally guided by my dreams, as in sleep not goals, most of the time. I don't think in terms of actively improving my life but it happens all the time, sometimes in a chance meeting or just some kind of luck.




    Sometimes you're guided by the sauce too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by McBain View Post
    Sometimes you're guided by the sauce too.
    Twice in two years... not bad.


    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Twice in two years... not bad.


    LOL, you get abusive when you're loaded -- the dark lord behind the pixie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by McBain View Post
    LOL, you get abusive when you're loaded -- the dark lord behind the pixie.
    This is what I call constructive criticism.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    I was never a balanced person. I would take up an activity or interest and single mindedly with extreme focus and drive perfect my knowledge or ability. While that's a good thing it can be detrimental to a balance if that interest takes up a long time, which has been the case in the past. My dual cousin, being the extravert who likes lots of outside activities that she's interested in, gets me out and about. She has enough mobile energy that she took me to Santa Barbara for the weekend. We stayed at a very nice hotel, went dancing at the salsa festical, hung out at the beach and went out to eat. I improve my life by the company I keep and the things that I do with them

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    I try my best to keep certain things in mind: my goals, faults, trigger points, negative and positive influences, etc. Of course there have been breaking moments - times when it felt nothing could or would go right - but they were usually relatively short lived, until I thought up new (/working) solutions to put in place. I would like to think that my family history, seeing how family members have turned out and knowing that my future will not involve any of their doings, has a lot to do with helping keep me in 'check' and helps me continue to push forward. All-in-all, it's mostly a mindset for me; knowing what is right and wrong, good and bad, and what I want for my future. Sometimes it just takes me some time to crash and find a new method to build myself back up.

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    You find something bigger than yourself, and you dedicate yourself to it. That's how you grow into something better. That way your Joy is bigger than your immediate emotions.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neolux View Post
    How many of you take an active role in improving your life?

    If you do, how do you do it? Do you make lists? Do you resolve problems?

    I personally like to take a look at all the areas in my life that need improvement. For each area, I list a few things I can do every day to work towards improvement. Improvement comes about as a change in how you live your entire life, not just what you do in one day. Recently, my goals have been centered towards improving my mental and physical health, learning things I want to learn, and improving my skills.

    I usually find it hard to stick to these things as my mind is a chaotic place and I usually defer from one train of thought, but I hope that this time, maybe a journal will help me stick to it.

    I'm interested in what you people do to improve your lives.
    I learned to make lists with small goals and try to stick to them daily . That was mby my LSE sister's contribution . I can go through periods of mild apathy when I procrastinate because other things mess with my mind and I don't focus as I should. Such devices help. I also write down longer - term ones but that's more for my self , to remind me of what I truly want than to be efficient immediately , on a daily basis.

    I look for new music and new films every two weeks to experience something I didn't know before and expand my horizons . Stay open minded . I have a tendency to get obsessive over stuff I like bad and that was a remedy . Stuck between my own "walls" , I'd never change . Well I allow myself to go back to my favorite bands or songs only if they are not depressive or negative.

    I try to learn new skills . Like a new language , even if it's just very few words that only help me have short simple convos with locals . I try to travel as much as I can and when it's abroad I prefer to have a clue about a language . Mby it just feels better and I know I may or may not need those words again . I take up new hobbies . Last one was skying . I'm a novice but it was worthy .

    I keep only quality people around me . No compromises . ( something I learned the hard way mby )

    When other things fail and if life is too stressful , I use affirmations and inspirational things that can "move" me where I want to be . NLP works some times !

    I use blogs to clear my mind and keep my thoughts in order . I talk to people I trust, I try to learn something from each of them .
    Last edited by Amber; 01-17-2015 at 07:27 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neolux View Post
    How many of you take an active role in improving your life?

    If you do, how do you do it? Do you make lists? Do you resolve problems?

    I personally like to take a look at all the areas in my life that need improvement. For each area, I list a few things I can do every day to work towards improvement. Improvement comes about as a change in how you live your entire life, not just what you do in one day. Recently, my goals have been centered towards improving my mental and physical health, learning things I want to learn, and improving my skills.

    I usually find it hard to stick to these things as my mind is a chaotic place and I usually defer from one train of thought, but I hope that this time, maybe a journal will help me stick to it.

    I'm interested in what you people do to improve your lives.
    Realize that you can't fix everything at once. Focus on one thing at a time.

    Realize and isolate the problem.

    Find something small (both in magnitude and time commitment) you can do easily which helps, keep doing it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ryoka14 View Post
    Realize that you can't fix everything at once. Focus on one thing at a time.

    Realize and isolate the problem.

    Find something small (both in magnitude and time commitment) you can do easily which helps, keep doing it.
    Yes, Rome is not built in a day

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    lists
    Last edited by kalinoche; 02-04-2015 at 03:00 PM.

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    Staying employed, staying out of debt, and living well within my means. I also try to work at my own pace to avoid feeling rushed through tasks and to have a peace of mind. Happiness for me is not wealth, but living what I think is a good life. It's more important for me to accumulate knowledge and understanding than it is to to constantly spend money on crap I don't need. I set aside a lot of time for learning about, and how to do, new things. I tend to improve myself through work and education.

    I put a lot of time into my children, to make sure they will be able to think for themselves, and to make sure that they will lead a better life than I.

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