Most people type me ESE so I feel qualified to answer this.
Sometimes they'll openly criticize someone who is particularly sensitive without any awareness at all how much damage they're doing to that particular person or how they might destroy/demotivate their potential (Ne) further development. They sometimes seem so removed from the idea of nurturing people and helping them become better, that trying to explain to them the personal damage of their 'objective' sentiments seems to completely go over their heads.
How long does it take for an ILI to annoy me? I'm not sure, that seems more of an Ni-question.
Usually when I'm talking with ILIs one on one, it's no big deal, and we can usually find common conversation and topics to discuss, so we can talk a while without being annoyed. But whenever other people are part of the conversation, I can become bewildered pretty quickly. My one ILI friend was offering a car ride once to a couple of my friends and me, and during the car ride, he openly criticized one of my friends without even thinking about or realizing how much that might damage him, demotivate him