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Thread: ESEs, how long does it take for an ILI to rub you the wrong way? (ESFj INTp)

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    Default ESEs, how long does it take for an ILI to rub you the wrong way? (ESFj INTp)

    Is it an immediate reaction or do they seem cool until you get to know them? Also, how do you act when you decide you don't like them or they irritate you? Obviously it varies from case to case but I'm interested in the generalities or just whatever examples you have.

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    I imagine this will be a difficult question as there is a breed of ILIs who rub everyone up the wrong way.

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    I'm not talking about ILIs that try to piss people off or have total disregard for those around them. Plus, I think you can find factions of any type that everyone finds worth hating. I'm wondering what do ILIs innocently do that really bothers ESEs (beyond just being critical) and how long does it take for the problem to arise.

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    Not very long and the longer they are together the faster

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    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
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    Is this a trick questions?
    (Don't ILIs rub everyone the wrong way at some point?)

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    Is this a trick questions?
    (Don't ILIs rub everyone the wrong way at some point?)
    Only if you pay close attention to the emotional atmosphere. Otherwise if the ILI in question isn't immature/ a douche and if you value Fi there really shouldn't be a problem. I don't find it hard to get along with people I want to get along with. Social awkwardness doesn't really seem to be type related, beyond Fi valuers and Fe valuers breaking each other's "rules"

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    find a ESE on here and rub till it hurts. then you'll see for yourself.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solaris View Post
    find a ESE on here and rub till it hurts. then you'll see for yourself.
    Lol....that is such a "experience for yourself" suggestion

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    How long does it take for LIIs not to rub you the wrong way.

    Cos we're kinda similar.

    And we're also different, but those differences can be annoying.
    Warm Regards,



    Clowns & Entropy

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClownsandEntropy View Post
    How long does it take for LIIs not to rub you the wrong way.

    Cos we're kinda similar.

    And we're also different, but those differences can be annoying.
    It all depends. A lot of the time never. I'm completely fine with most LIIs but we will always be a distance apart because we usually can't relate. The problems with conflictors are usually much more acute. On a casual level, the non-hateable ESEs are usually ok, but I notice that we miscommunicate a lot. I didn't know if that miscommunication led to a real distaste for ILIs or perhaps if any part of the interaction on a casual level led to a distaste for ILIs. Also, I wanted to know how they act once that its been established they don't like someone, particularly ILI.

    If it's not obvious, I'm just trying to figure out if this ESE hates me or if we are just so different that I don't understand how he jokes around with other people.
    Last edited by Contra; 08-13-2014 at 06:04 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    Most people type me ESE so I feel qualified to answer this.


    Sometimes they'll openly criticize someone who is particularly sensitive without any awareness at all how much damage they're doing to that particular person or how they might destroy/demotivate their potential (Ne) further development. They sometimes seem so removed from the idea of nurturing people and helping them become better, that trying to explain to them the personal damage of their 'objective' sentiments seems to completely go over their heads.

    How long does it take for an ILI to annoy me? I'm not sure, that seems more of an Ni-question. Usually when I'm talking with ILIs one on one, it's no big deal, and we can usually find common conversation and topics to discuss, so we can talk a while without being annoyed. But whenever other people are part of the conversation, I can become bewildered pretty quickly. My one ILI friend was offering a car ride once to a couple of my friends and me, and during the car ride, he openly criticized one of my friends without even thinking about or realizing how much that might damage him, demotivate him
    ILIs are the anti-tony robbins. We're the ultimate demotivational speakers. And trust me, it's for your own good (just give it 10 years or so).

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