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Thread: Ideal Enneagram match for a 4 sx/so?

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    Estel's Avatar
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    Default Ideal Enneagram match for a 4 sx/so?

    So I can probably find this info somewhere; but could someone help me out, post a link, anything?

    Does enneagram have intertype relations like socionics?

    If so, what would be the ideal pairing for a 4 sx/so?

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    most people seem to say around the 7/8 area. but different people can make relationships work with different people.

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    Estel's Avatar
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    Ok thanks. Mostly Im wondering about the Intinctual Varients. Any idea if it's better to be identical (both sx/so, for example), or complimentary somehow...? I. Want. A. Chart...

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    Yes, enneagram types have intertype relations as well. I think the best match for a sx 4 would be an 8. 7 and 4 are not that good of a match in theory. But date who you like anyway.

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Estel View Post
    Ok thanks. Mostly Im wondering about the Intinctual Varients. Any idea if it's better to be identical (both sx/so, for example), or complimentary somehow...? I. Want. A. Chart...
    i've got no idea about charts, but i think sx/so on both sides is probably too intense, and that you'd be looking to have sx or so in common, and sp.

    so sp/so sp/sx so/sp. but it all depends on how developed various functions are etc. i wouldn't worry about it too much, find someone that's compatible.

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    Enneagram is much more individualized and meant for personal growth; not relationship compatibility. So one 4 might get along best with 2s and hate 8s, but anotehr could be backwards and both be 4s. You can try to make some arguments for it, but enneagram is just an incredibly individualized system and not meant for it.

    That being said, I am a 7 (sp/sx or sx/sp) and dating a 4 sx/so.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Estel View Post
    So I can probably find this info somewhere; but could someone help me out, post a link, anything?

    Does enneagram have intertype relations like socionics?

    If so, what would be the ideal pairing for a 4 sx/so?

    Click here for GREAT e-type compatibility descriptions for e4
    As far as instinctual variant compatibility the theory is that you get along with people from the same "flow" as you.
    The flows are syn-flow and contra-flow

    Syn-flow stackings are: soc/sx, sx/sp and sp/soc
    Contra-flow: sx/so, soc/sp, and sp/sx

    So for you it'd be contra-flow stackings
    Besides that some people think the reversed stack of the one you are is good so soc/sx for you

    Same second instinct and different first is said to be disasturous.
    that's sp/soc for you

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    The Ubiquitous Mr Lovegrove Subteigh's Avatar
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    This page: http://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_marriages.html
    would suggest E9, which seems odd. Don't know of anything comparable for variants.
    EII-Ne
    5w4 or 1w9 Sp/So

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    Quote Originally Posted by Subteigh View Post
    This page: http://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_marriages.html
    would suggest E9, which seems odd. Don't know of anything comparable for variants.
    lol you really can't ever miss with E9s -they're the ultimate peacemaker Etype

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    Sync / Contra Flows;

    Is there that much of a difference between Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx that they could go from being in the compatible group to being the absolute worst for someone (in this case So/Sx)?
    This question applies to all types that flip the order of the first two, but in particular it seems as though Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx are very similar. Though, that could be my own lack of knowledge being why i can't distinguish them.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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