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Thread: How do you Find your Dual?

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    Default How do you Find your Dual?

    What would be the best way to find your dual? Parties? Through friends? Dating websites? Just walking up and talking to them? Tell me what you think...
    LII

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    Depending on how much experience you have with them - possibly the people who irritate you at first. It can be difficult to get a handle on them at first if you haven't had much experience of them.

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    This must depend on your and your dual's particular types. My most significant dual relationships began with the circumstance of sitting beside the person, either by chance or by their subtle design, and gradually getting into conversation and talking for a long, long, long time, immediately if possible, and then by arranging another meetup to talk and talk. In those conversations, both before and after knowing about Socionics, it was like being enveloped by a bubble that closed out everything else. I also noticed how everything I said was finding a place to land. So I wanted more of it, since being understood and accepted is an awesome feeling.

    Locations of meeting: in learning environments centering on a shared interest; in places where I was a regular, such as coffee shops; and at nonrandom, meaningful social functions. These are times I was more still and receptive, rather than busy or preoccupied. Therefore I was more likely to notice them, and to sit still long enough for them to be able to gain my focus.
    Last edited by golden; 07-13-2014 at 04:31 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    Yeah man. All of the above. I'd advise not worrying so much about the method, but just think about the quantity of people. The more people you get out there and meet, the greater the probability is that you meet your dual. If you draw one card from a deck, you may or may not get an Ace. If you draw 5 cards, chances are greater, 10 higher, but if you draw 100 cards and go through one deck completely, you'll inevitably meet several duals. The great thing is that there's no limit to the # of cards you can draw. You can use a different combination of everything and figure out what works best for you, where your time is most effective and where your confidence is the highest. Dating can be a numbers game.
    if you get out a vivid, and write an A on each card you have lots of aces.

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    What is a vivid?
    Everything interests me but nothing holds me.

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    This man's energy feel so positive to me. I would give him food and help him find a dual...he wouldn't have to work. He makes me smile but I don't think he is my dual. I wonder about his type...

    Short of carrying a sign and walking the streets hoping a socionics minded person sees you, and does an on the spot VI, I would say you meet a dual when you least expect it and they magically show up to help you with something you may not have even known you needed help with, or they make you laugh at things that would put you off if said to you by another personality type.

    I am not talking about romantic duals either and I always feel like I have to make that clear. If looking for romantic relationships I would advise people not to use socionics as the only measure of compatibility but really I don't care too much about how others pick a partner.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    U duals will kick u ass

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    Anywhere.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    What would be the best way to find your dual? Parties? Through friends? Dating websites? Just walking up and talking to them? Tell me what you think...
    It's happened to me randomly before I even knew of socionics... so that can happen.
    Or if you're intentionally wanting to go out and find a dual to date do everything you said and keep socionics in mind, and also like @Aylen said keep an open-mind to non-dual connections, as well.

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    An ESE just showed up at comp sci this year. I can tell because she's networked extensively out of nowhere and has a big ESE grin. They shouldn't be hard to spot.

    Personally I've made a lot of friends just talking to strangers at bus stops. I guess it's low risk because A) they're trapped there and B) they can usually safely assume they'll never see you again. The last rave I went to was great for that too. Some of the group we went with just sat by a fire and shot the breeze with all the MDMA'd-up hippies.
    @mercutio mentioned in the chatbox a while ago some amino acid-derivative, which I think was Japanese. One of its effects was to reduce shyness, so that might also help.

    scribbles in the dark

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    Quote Originally Posted by Holon View Post
    An ESE just showed up at comp sci this year. I can tell because she's networked extensively out of nowhere and has a big ESE grin. They shouldn't be hard to spot.

    Personally I've made a lot of friends just talking to strangers at bus stops. I guess it's low risk because A) they're trapped there and B) they can usually safely assume they'll never see you again. The last rave I went to was great for that too. Some of the group we went with just sat by a fire and shot the breeze with all the MDMA'd-up hippies.
    @mercutio mentioned in the chatbox a while ago some amino acid-derivative, which I think was Japanese. One of its effects was to reduce shyness, so that might also help.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sulbutiamine

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    It depends what you think a dual is.

    If you think its a 'maritsa' style romantic bliss then that does not exist.

    If you think duality implies complimentary communication styles then you will find plenty of duals around assuming your net is cast sufficiently wide.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Holon View Post
    Personally I've made a lot of friends just talking to strangers at bus stops. I guess it's low risk because A) they're trapped there
    See, that by itself would make me uncomfortable. Like I'm suddenly obligated to interact with someone simply by happenstance regardless of my interest in them or what we have to share with each other. It feels like a waste of energy, investing a bunch of time in someone I'm never going to see again. I'd rather spend my time engaging with someone over a much longer period, allowing a rapport to grow and evolve instead of some mere short-term stimulation.

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    If duality means ease of communication, then that means one less thing to worry about in a relationship. And if that also means one less reason for the relationship to end horribly, then sign me up!

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Martrix View Post
    If duality means ease of communication, then that means one less thing to worry about in a relationship. And if that also means one less reason for the relationship to end horribly, then sign me up!
    It's one of forty things that can cause a relationship to end horribly. Pick your poison.

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    Dualism CAN mean great romantic chemistry, and not just ease of communication. Not that every dual is gonna be that way, and maybe it depends on e types and subtypes or whatever else but yes dualism can totally be more than just ease of communication. I'm saying this from personal experience. But of course you can probably find that in a non dual relationship too. That scenario, though, is something I don't know from personal experience...
    Last edited by Ron Mexican; 07-15-2014 at 01:01 AM.

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    Do what you love!

    But seriously, even socionically that makes sense. Moving in your ego block will attract your dual through their Super-Id block. Especially work on your creative function - it's your dual's "dual-seeking" function for a reason.

    Hence - do what you love, create, produce! and they will come find you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reuben View Post
    Do what you love!

    But seriously, even socionically that makes sense. Moving in your ego block will attract your dual through their Super-Id block. Especially work on your creative function - it's your dual's "dual-seeking" function for a reason.

    Hence - do what you love, create, produce! and they will come find you.
    What's the dual seeking function? I would think it's the suggestive which would make it his base not creative

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    It's one of forty things that can cause a relationship to end horribly. Pick your poison.
    Then Duality serves as damage limitation

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elina View Post
    What's the dual seeking function? I would think it's the suggestive which would make it his base not creative
    Yes, it's the suggestive

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elina View Post
    What's the dual seeking function? I would think it's the suggestive which would make it his base not creative
    Quote Originally Posted by The Martrix View Post
    Yes, it's the suggestive
    Oops omg. Almost got away with smoking

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Martrix View Post
    Then Duality serves as damage limitation
    This >> other things

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    It depends what you think a dual is.

    If you think its a 'maritsa' style romantic bliss then that does not exist.

    If you think duality implies complimentary communication styles then you will find plenty of duals around assuming your net is cast sufficiently wide.
    Romantic bliss can be fleeting but ease in communication is a skill to be mastered. I am convinced you can develop it with anyone who is open enough and fuck who isn't. heh That is why I have spent years learning all these different personalty typing systems, including blood typing. What I am starting to see is that when I put them all together, all roads do seem to lead to Rome...

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    I think first and foremost, you have to know what you are looking for. It's not going to matter where they are, it's going to matter who they are. Is this my dual? Recognition is the key. Start with that and the rest follows.
    "Traffic lights and loneliness. Paper cans and tape cassettes. When the world feels like this. Static shocks and bitterness."

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    If you think its a 'maritsa' style romantic bliss then that does not exist.
    In that case, why would anyone bother? ;-)
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Get a job
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hydrangea View Post
    What is a vivid?
    a permanent marker, sorry i didn't realise it was a regional thing (it's considered a generic term here)

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    You know I've been around this forum for years, and I still don't think I really know.

    And "dual" on it's own doesn't mean enough too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Holon View Post
    Personally I've made a lot of friends just talking to strangers at bus stops. I guess it's low risk because A) they're trapped there and B) they can usually safely assume they'll never see you again. The last rave I went to was great for that too. Some of the group we went with just sat by a fire and shot the breeze with all the MDMA'd-up hippies.
    I've only made one friend that way. I dunno what type he was or anything, but he constantly changed phone numbers, I'd run into him randomly, he knew lots of people, could move fast like me, talked about one time he was really angry and got angry at the moment. I still don't know what type he was, but I found myself using his words to see how other people would react to what he said. He was kind of moody, and pretty slippery. But interaction was pretty normal, but maybe a litttle dramatic at times. And all of his friends seemed subdued in comparison to him :/

    I think this guy initiated with me, and knew how to do the whole "keep a large distance" thing with me. Although that decreased with time.

    For some reason some people seem to try and communicate at an overly short physical distance and completely screw up interactions.
    Last edited by Satan; 07-15-2014 at 05:04 PM.

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    First - build a sexy body - people like to fuck.
    Second - acquire currency - people like to eat, drink.
    Third - learn to communicate - people like to converse.

    Then you go out.

    If you're a man: hide your interests in Star Trek, socionics, gaming and all kinds of non-concrete-world mumbo jumbo like that. This is not instinctual enough for girls, it's too mental, gets them too far away from sexuality and emotions.

    If you're a woman: tame your bitchiness and get real about the world, guys aren't turned on by your career achievements, but things like genuine femininity, sexiness however much you can show, and basic respect to a guy can go a long way.

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    what about the legions of women who like men that are skinny enough that they might almost bruise the insides of your thighs?



    #vegansallthewayamirite

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    Quote Originally Posted by sta View Post
    First - build a sexy body - people like to fuck.
    Second - acquire currency - people like to eat, drink.
    Third - learn to communicate - people like to converse.
    lol, this is probably good.

    If you're a man: hide your interests in Star Trek, socionics, gaming and all kinds of non-concrete-world mumbo jumbo like that. This is not instinctual enough for girls, it's too mental, gets them too far away from sexuality and emotions.

    If you're a woman: tame your bitchiness and get real about the world, guys aren't turned on by your career achievements, but things like genuine femininity, sexiness however much you can show, and basic respect to a guy can go a long way.
    i think my boyfriends balok fascination is endearingly quirky and he's expressed admiration for career-minded women more than once. This advice doesn't really apply to everyone. and if you're telling people to hide things about themselves that kinda defeats the purpose of meeting compatible people, don't you think? do you self-type? whats your gender?

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    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    They go to Marshalls and some electronic stores

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    Quote Originally Posted by sta View Post
    First - build a sexy body - people like to fuck.
    Second - acquire currency - people like to eat, drink.
    Third - learn to communicate - people like to converse.

    Then you go out.

    If you're a man: hide your interests in Star Trek, socionics, gaming and all kinds of non-concrete-world mumbo jumbo like that. This is not instinctual enough for girls, it's too mental, gets them too far away from sexuality and emotions.

    If you're a woman: tame your bitchiness and get real about the world, guys aren't turned on by your career achievements, but things like genuine femininity, sexiness however much you can show, and basic respect to a guy can go a long way.
    This is some good advice from stasonics here.
    Of course if you have a hotter body, you fuck hotter people.
    Of course if you have money, you can lure easier.
    Of course if you know how to build more than 3 words phrases, you can chat up faster.
    This is like... an evidence right?

    Does not mean that people do not go out before building a sexy body, they still fuck without money and communication, duh.

    For the rest it's subjective.
    I like people who do not make up their interests or hide behind something obviously false. It's like garlic, it stinks and I smell it immediately.
    As a woman, I stay deep down in my illusionary world and cherish my bitchiness along with my career achievements.
    If it bothers a man in front of me, I let go, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

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    Socionically.

    New word

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    The best way to find your dual is just to BE YOURSELF.

    It's easier said than done, especially when surrounded by many less-compatible types. You start learning behaviors that make you less yourself (and more stressed).
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    It depends what you think a dual is.

    If you think its a 'maritsa' style romantic bliss then that does not exist.

    If you think duality implies complimentary communication styles then you will find plenty of duals around assuming your net is cast sufficiently wide.
    It's just that duals are hard to recognize.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Holon View Post
    some amino acid-derivative, which I think was Japanese. One of its effects was to reduce shyness, so that might also help.
    LOL serotonin, perhaps? It's derived from tryptophan...
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    what about the legions of women who like men that are skinny enough that they might almost bruise the insides of your thighs?


    .

    jesus christ no.

    I look at pictures of myself from 6 months ago when I was 145 pounds and going around like some kind of borderline anorexic and it freaks me out, like I'm looking at a rejected monster design for Men In Black or something. thank god for weightlifting, or the body dysmorphia and the narcissism would have conspired to have me dwindling in the opposite direction, despairing because my skinniness was inferior to those taut models in xkcd ,. I can't wear the skinny jeans anymore, but at least I don't have to walk around in my constant state of delusional paranoia afraid that a stray punch from Urkel could possibly give me spinal paralysis (now it would at least take two...)

    Also, as where to meet your duals, well, assuming for the moment I'm ILI for good now, the only dual I've thus far met and had a close relationship was because the compulsory schooling system forced us to be in a close proximity to one another.And socionics was created by the Soviets...basically, your dumb ass won't be able to find your dual if you are in a capitalist society which allows you to "go your own way" and cocoon.

    As a lifelong classical liberal, my best advice for finding your dual is to accept socialism as your lord and savior. Surrender personal autonomy and the great melting pot will be stirred for you.
    Last edited by Whoobie77; 07-17-2014 at 06:07 AM.

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