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Thread: Mixed-feelings about Delta duality/lifestyle

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    suedehead's Avatar
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    Default Mixed-feelings about Delta duality/lifestyle

    I don't know what it is, maybe it's my current place I'm at in life, but the idea of living the rest of my life lounging, picking up and dropping things as I go (being ENFp), scares me a bit. I already kind of live that way (both my parents are caregivers also) and it's always felt wrong. There's always been something lacking in that pace to life, even during those fun, inconsequential moments that are supposed to be enjoyable. I've always felt a bit of regret afterwards - I feel cheap, embarrassed, or like I've wasted my time. Fun, pleasant activities don't lead me anywhere. Days would just repeat themselves. Life wouldn't progress, there'd be no zenith point, no cohesion, no urgency, sporadic growth. Both of us would just be - maybe it'd be enjoyable with an SLI-Te so who I don't have to feel self-conscious around, but it still scares me a bit. It makes me feel restless. I don't want to feel malleable, overly dependent, or sort of live under people's shadows within a community environment. I don't know why I'm like this, and I don't really know what I want from life, but I'm not sure if this is the answer.

    Is it like that at all? What's it really like then? Do you get used to it?
    Last edited by suedehead; 07-05-2014 at 03:19 AM.

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    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
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    Nobody said being an IEE is an easy thing.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
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    It's not like that IEEs cant get a profit from life. It's not like that there is only an empty fun in their activities. If you belive that you will finish badly For real. A large part of the society wants you belive that. So *uck them. But there is one most important thing in IEEs activities they must strongly control. They STRONGLY have to watch their level of energy. They have to control their health. It could be more difficult that it seems. It's essencial for free exploration. It doesn't matter that you can't finish something now and you start something new. If you control your energy you will back to this at another time. It's like jugglering and balls are opportunities. It's not waste of time because IEE's got big talent for using opportunities.

    Maybe it requires SLI that will tell you for example to go to sleep and leave some VERY INTERESTING things for few hours Maybe someone else will help to control energy. Maybe you will do that alone. It doesn't matter. The matter is keep energy at normal level. And explore, explore, explore...

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    suedehead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tony View Post
    Maybe it requires SLI that will tell you for example to go to sleep and leave some VERY INTERESTING things for few hours Maybe someone else will help to control energy. Maybe you will do that alone. It doesn't matter. The matter is keep energy at normal level. And explore, explore, explore...
    I mean, is that all the relationship would be built on? A girlfriend/wife coddling me into my 20s, 30s, 40s?
    Last edited by suedehead; 07-05-2014 at 07:22 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I mean, is that all the relationship would be built on? A girlfriend/wife coddling me into my 20s, 30s, 40s?
    I don't get it. Expend on...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I mean, is that all the relationship would be built on? A girlfriend/wife coddling me into my 20s, 30s, 40s?
    So much unvalued Si....
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    So much unvalued Si....
    He values Si more than I do, let him be.

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Maybe Delta is not your perfect fit. just sayin'.

    You posted in another thread that your dad may be LSE. He sounds like my mom from what you posted before. Maybe check out LSI and see how that feels.


    Se as a creative (2nd) function (LSI and ESI)
    The individual takes direct action to accomplish his goals and desires in the face of external obstacles, and also the interests of his close friends, family, or associates. This may involve prodding others to take necessary action, deliberately applying pressure in specific situations, or abruptly taking on an organizational role. The individual does not generally seek out confrontation, but he is also not afraid of it.
    He takes his responsibilities seriously and tends to perform them diligently and with care. He expects the same of others.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    I'm actually seeing Se creative more and more for Suedehead and I didn't care to inform anyone, but I think it's constructive to share my opinion. He seemed an ambiguous SEI/EII/ESI/IEI mold for a while. From his video I kind of ruled out SEI and left the others. But it would make sense if he were ESI-Fi at a very young age.

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    Hey, random ILE appears. Anyway I am exactly the same way in much of these aspects. I'm so crazy active and always wanting to try things out and explore new things. If you would have told me that SEI was my dual two years ago I'd definitely be confused and annoyed at the possibility of Si being my D.S. But Si leads don't come off like that when the feedback loop starts up. They kind of equalize, Ne and SI, and soon you're focused on them, they find comfort in the new things you bring them along for, and you get this calming feeling of true understanding and care from them (SEI) (This hits me super hard, as it gives me something I never have with Fi PoLR)

    My best buddy is an SLI and they're only boring until the Ne Si storm starts flying.

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    chairpersonality Holon's Avatar
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    As an alternative direction to the socionics apologetics in this thread: maybe complementarity is just one of the weaknesses of Socionics, and shouldn't be considered vital to the theory...

    If you want a more flexible approach to Socionics, consider each individual lacks skills, time, or desire needed to fulfill some psychological, physical, or emotional need in their lives...

    scribbles in the dark

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    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    Being delta does not mean being boring, a homebody, emotionally dependent on a parental figure, infantile in the common sense of the word, or needing to be coddled and taken care of. If you need a change for the better in your life, you have every right to stand up and make it happen. Ask the right people for help, put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable; but by all means, do not resign yourself to a life of mediocrity if you don't want it.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

    http://forum.socionix.com/
    It's pretty cool

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    Moderator Reficulris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solaris View Post
    I'm actually seeing Se creative more and more for Suedehead and I didn't care to inform anyone, but I think it's constructive to share my opinion. He seemed an ambiguous SEI/EII/ESI/IEI mold for a while. From his video I kind of ruled out SEI and left the others. But it would make sense if he were ESI-Fi at a very young age.
    There's still a large group of the forum that considers him to be ESI. I can't see him as anything but.

    Would explain the misfit with delta.

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    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I don't know what it is, maybe it's my current place I'm at in life, but the idea of living the rest of my life lounging, picking up and dropping things as I go (being ENFp), scares me a bit. I already kind of live that way (both my parents are caregivers also) and it's always felt wrong. There's always been something lacking in that pace to life, even during those fun, inconsequential moments that are supposed to be enjoyable. I've always felt a bit of regret afterwards - I feel cheap, embarrassed, or like I've wasted my time. Fun, pleasant activities don't lead me anywhere. Days would just repeat themselves. Life wouldn't progress, there'd be no zenith point, no cohesion, no urgency, sporadic growth. Both of us would just be - maybe it'd be enjoyable with an SLI-Te so who I don't have to feel self-conscious around, but it still scares me a bit. It makes me feel restless. I don't want to feel malleable, overly dependent, or sort of live under people's shadows within a community environment. I don't know why I'm like this, and I don't really know what I want from life, but I'm not sure if this is the answer.

    Is it like that at all? What's it really like then? Do you get used to it?
    I'm sorry, but what you are describing here has nothing to do with Socionics. What you are experiencing, is very typical for young people in the second decade of the 21st century: boredom. I don't want to speculate about the specific reasons in your case, but a lot of basically intelligent young people have been brought up with the implicit promise of a fantastic adulthood, while never having been taught that you actually need to do something yourself for that. It leads to a need for immediate gratification, low frustration tolerance and ultimately to inertia and a sense of unfulfilment.

    The answers are not to be found in Socionics, not even in psychology. The answers can, however, be found in Sociology. You are a child of your times. The sooner you realize that, the earlier you will be able to rise above it and become an individual who thinks and acts outside of the box.

    http://mavericksocionics.blogspot.nl...socionics.html
    Last edited by consentingadult; 07-12-2014 at 12:56 PM.
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    The thing about duality is that it's equal. Your partner benefits from your input as much as you do from theirs. An SLI would ground an IEE and help them with the practical things in life, but the SLI very much values the IEE's contributions of fun, warmth, humor, love, spontaneity, etc.

    Also, while duals pretty much do our 5th function for us, in a way they help us learn how to do our 6th function ourselves. Spending time with an SLI would give an IEE stronger Te.
    Last edited by Joy; 07-15-2014 at 09:13 PM.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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