I don't know what it is, maybe it's my current place I'm at in life, but the idea of living the rest of my life lounging, picking up and dropping things as I go (being ENFp), scares me a bit. I already kind of live that way (both my parents are caregivers also) and it's always felt wrong. There's always been something lacking in that pace to life, even during those fun, inconsequential moments that are supposed to be enjoyable. I've always felt a bit of regret afterwards - I feel cheap, embarrassed, or like I've wasted my time. Fun, pleasant activities don't lead me anywhere. Days would just repeat themselves. Life wouldn't progress, there'd be no zenith point, no cohesion, no urgency, sporadic growth. Both of us would just be - maybe it'd be enjoyable with an SLI-Te so who I don't have to feel self-conscious around, but it still scares me a bit. It makes me feel restless. I don't want to feel malleable, overly dependent, or sort of live under people's shadows within a community environment. I don't know why I'm like this, and I don't really know what I want from life, but I'm not sure if this is the answer.
Is it like that at all? What's it really like then? Do you get used to it?