Type of close friend throughout highschool

[suedehead]

-Outspoken, and incredibly loyal. Would cut you off for a while when you did something that she didn't like, or made her feel bad (even some things that seemed blown out of proportion, like me not wanting to take a picture with her that she wanted to put on her facebook because I knew she was dating somebody at the time), but would eventually forgive you.

-Often thought of me as 'silly' or detached from reality. Kind of had a "duh, silly. Lol, where've you been." reaction to a lot of the things I'd say. She'd often tell me to "stop caring about what people think", to just do something about it, or that I'm thinking too much, etc. Although she wasn't cold either - she put up with me more than she should have, and she could empathize and even relate with a lot of the things I said. She was just better at dealing with it.

-Got into arguments easily, often over anything involving perceived disrespect, pushiness, things she perceived to be immoral or just didn't like seeing, etc. Students and teachers. Willing to tell someone straight up that they're acting in a way that they shouldn't be, even telling an SEI girl that she lost respect for her after she hooked up with an ex that used her in the past. Pretty honest/candid in general. She's had persistent conflicts with an SEI and an ILE.

-Could sometimes dominate a conversation, somewhat, but generally fine doing her own thing. Didn't seek approval, and didn't seek people out, although she could banter with other people when she wanted to, if they just happened to be there. Lots of funny/crude jokes. She never meshed well with a group atmosphere either, and could seem kind of disruptive to them at times. She seemed to know a lot of people from the parties that she'd be invited to around her neighborhood, but it seemed like they sought her out moreso than the other way around.

-I went to a casting call around the end of my senior year, talked to her about it, and she told me that she didn't want me to go because she was worried I'd be hurt and thought that it'd be too toxic of an atmosphere for me.

-Seemed pretty practical, resourceful and street smart. When she would visit someone who was in prison, she would talk confidently about the dynamics involved there, and just seemed really interested in that sort of stuff in general. Gave me shit once for not knowing what precinct I lived in. lol.

-She had quite a few close-ish friends among the school staff, and seemed to get a long with them better than most of the kids at school.

-She told me that when she'd hang out with people, she'd kind of 'lose herself' a bit, or wouldn't be thinking much, and then afterwards would look back on it and feel kind of bad.

-She generally seemed steady/restrained to me. She could be pretty loud, engaging, etc., but she never bounced around the room or anything like that. She kind of just stayed in one place, listened to her music, said more-or-less that she wanted (as in she would give her genuine opinion about things, and lighthearted shit talking around certain people), responsive if you talked to her, etc.

-I feel like there was a bit of a communication gap between us sometimes. Just in terms of life-outlook, and how we would process certain things. Things seemed more drastic for her in general. It was hard for me to really give her advice, even though she was always willing to offer it to me, since it always seemed to me like she knew what she was doing (even when she'd express her frustrations, fears, anxieties, etc.) and I just didn't have that sort of life-experience.




I'm kind of thinking LSE, SLI-Te, or ESI-Se? Dominant-subtype?

[The Martrix]

My impression is ESI-Se, with the focus on calling out perceived immorality.

[The Martrix]

Do any of the intertype relations match?

[suedehead]

Do any of the intertype relations match?

I could see it with some of the other people she interacted with, but I didn't really feel like her supervisor, based on the little I know about how that relationship plays out. Like there could've been some of that going on in my head, but I didn't feel an inclination to correct her outright, and usually respected her choices, or didn't see it as my business.

[Aylen]

I'm kind of thinking LSE, SLI-Te, or ESI-Se? Dominant-subtype?

I am having some trouble getting any kind of read on this but those three choices seem off to me.

[The Martrix]

I could see it with some of the other people she interacted with, but I didn't really feel like her supervisor. Like there could've been some of that going on in my head, but I didn't really feel an inclination to correct her outright, and usually respected her choices.

Ohh, you're IEE then.Do you feel she valued your Ne insights?

[suedehead]

Ohh, you're IEE then.Do you feel she valued your Ne insights?

I don't think I went around sharing insights. Sometimes I'd over-complicate a situation, or engage in hyperbole and she'd just say something like "lol, you're dumb", or feel annoyed if I was too persistent with it. But I didn't force those sort of evaluations on her or her life. I was too ego-focused for my own good at the time to be honest.

[Iris]

Well she sounds a lot like my SLE-Ti activity partner, who will not hesitate to speak up if she disagrees with something. She will call out people for silliness on occasion. She can be outspoken and opinionated, but is more of a listener in group settings and is more to herself at parties, still friendly. Not the life of the party type. I think she enjoys the Fe atmosphere around her. She shares many other of your friend's attributes.

My LSE cousin can occasionally roll with the punches, but I would never call her street smart. I also don't usually associate that term with ESIs, but what do I know. But I would say my SLE friend is definately street smart.

ESI seems to be a go-to typing for people who express moral values. But I think every type is capable of having a moral code, dang it, even Fe valuers.

[The Martrix]

I don't think I went around sharing insights. Sometimes I'd over-complicate a situation, or engage in hyperbole and she'd just say something like "lol, you're dumb", or feel annoyed if I was too persistent with it. But I didn't force those sort of evaluations on her or her life. I was too ego-focused for my own good at the time to be honest.

Your friend doesn't seem to be Ne-valuing.

Well she sounds a lot like my SLE-Ti activity partner, who will not hesitate to speak up if she disagrees with something. She will call out people for silliness on occasion. She can be outspoken and opinionated, but is more of a listener in group settings and is more to herself at parties, still friendly. Not the life of the party type. I think she enjoys the Fe atmosphere around her. She shares many other of your friend's attributes.

My LSE cousin can occasionally roll with the punches, but I would never call her street smart. I also don't usually associate that term with ESIs, but what do I know. But I would say my SLE friend is definately street smart.

ESI seems to be a go-to typing for people who express moral values. But I think every type is capable of having a moral code, dang it, even Fe valuers.

Ooops. I've fallen into the trap of a go-to-typer. Choosing from the 3, ESI was most plausible. SLE seems more likely though, possibly Ti-subtype. These sound like traits I might appreciate in a dual.

[Aylen]

Well she sounds a lot like my SLE-Ti

I didn't want to sound biased so I couldn't bring myself to say it! Thank you.

[suedehead]

I guess I can see it. But she seemed to find it easy to talk about how people really feel beneath the facades they're putting up if she's heard things about them, and who really likes who, and just had this sincere way of talking to you if you were close to her. It also feels like she stuck with me for too long, even when she might've been better off not doing so. Is that atypical? Or could some of that be instinctual stacking related (I think she was Sx/Sp)?

[Aylen]

I guess I can see it. But she seemed to find it easy to talk about how people really feel beneath the facades they're putting up if she's heard things about them, and who really likes who, and just had this sincere way of talking to you if you were close to her. It also feels like she stuck with me for too long, even when she might've been better off not doing so. Is that atypical? Or could some of that be instinctual stacking related (I think she was Sx/Sp)?

Maybe you just complemented each other? All that you write is within the realm of SLE for her though. I think female SLE can be more in tune and outwardly compassionate than male SLE but both are quite capable.

[Iris]

I guess I can see it. But she seemed to find it easy to talk about how people really feel beneath the facades they're putting up if she's heard things about them, and who really likes who, and just had this sincere way of talking to you if you were close to her. It also feels like she stuck with me for too long, even when she might've been better off not doing so. Is that atypical? Or could some of that be instinctual stacking related (I think she was Sx/Sp)?

I might blog about my good SLE friend because I think it would be helpful in adding to the SLE profile. But briefly for now:

My SLE friend is fairly quiet in the many Delta group activities that we get involved in. (We are the only 2 Betas.) I am more outspoken than she is. I have wished that she would open up a little more. But I see that she is taking it all in and, when it is just the two of us, she will offer very insightful opinions about those topics. If something comes up in a group that she disagrees with, she states her case unemotionally. If she really feels strongly about something, she will hang on until she gets what she wants. If she doesn't care too much, she will give in. I have never seen her lose her temper, but I can tell when she is getting annoyed. She doesn't curse, throw things, or rape IEIs. She is very pragmatic, but underneath is this mischief that stays in check. When she is not busy working, (and she is always busy working on something) she loves to have fun and you get to see a little more mischief.

In working activities, she is not quiet about delegating and will often be the first to take charge, but will defer to one other friend who is older, if that friend wants to delegate. I told her that the name of her personality type was "The Commander'" and she loved it. She loves getting people to do things. But she is not a blowhard loudmouth. I think that might be a common misconception and leads to difficulties in typing.

She possesses good social sense (except for occasional bluntness,) so she stays out of drama. I think that is part of her quietness, she is doing a lot of observing and biding her time. She doesn't mind watching a little drama on TV, but she doesn't really seek it out in real life. She gets upset if she thinks someone is being disloyal. That is a big no-no. She has stuck by me through thick and thin. Sometimes when I might not have deserved it.

She is not an LSI, which I considered. Reasons: She is too quick to move on things for my taste. Sometimes I feel like the rug has been jerked out from under me. An IEI would probably roll with that a little better than me. I get kinda annoyed when that happens. She thinks I way overcomplicate some things and bog things down, and then she just surges ahead with me running after her, trying to do damage control. Which I think an IP temperament cares way less about the importance of damage control. I can be a little uptight about what I think is a correct process. She benefits from and will use some of my Ni insights, but adapts them to suit her convenience. And I am just painfully calculating with Ni warnings. She just doesn't have time for that. I think an IEI is probably less ridiculous about Ni warnings than I am.

She is not an LSE: our painstaking and mannerly EII friend would drive her crazy if they did more than just casual work together. Not Delta. My SLE friend likes nice things, especially jewelry, but it is more about the acquisition, less about the actual ownership and quality and enjoyment of the object. She has little time for the comfort of others, beyond the basics. She is not as much into the quality of her product as she is about getting projects done. She is very offhand with her belongings, is offhand with her own comfort, as a good SLE should be.

She is different from my SEE friend in that the SLE will never give up on something she really wants, even if it makes her look bad. My SEE friend would just walk away before making herself look bad. In those moments, the SLE isn't really aware of how she looks, she is concentrating on getting what she wants. She makes little Fi errors that the SEE would not. The SLE will work hard tirelessly (very Beta - no lunch, no breaks) a lot of the time and is very much aware of the greater good. The SEE is interested in the greater good but is more calculating and might not expend her energy on something that doesn't personally affect her. The SEE and the SLE are the same size, but the SLE is like a rock in terms of her presence. The SEE is not as sturdy or resilient as the SLE.