Member Questionnaire 1 (nebulaazul)
What is beauty? What is love? Beauty is a sunny day on a beach with a light breeze and blue skies and leaves on trees gently moving. Beauty is the sun coming through the early spring green leaves. Beauty is nature, love, friendship, companionship. Beauty is hope for a better tomorrow. It’s music, it’s a bit of the present caught in a work of art... It can’t be put in just a few words.
Love is a warm feeling of belonging, it’s passion, it’s longing and yearning, it’s trust, it’s safety in someone’s arms, it’s understanding, it’s laughter, it’s knowing there’s someone you can always depend on. It’s what makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you look at another person and it’s the passion that makes you want to be with them. It’s fun, it’s family, it’s friendship. It’s indescribable, because in the end everything written here is just words and love is so much more. The same can be said about beauty being elusive in descriptions...
What are your most important values? love, trust, companionship, friendship, honesty, being genuine
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? I am hesitant, I was brough up religious and was exploring my thoughts on the subject for a while now, which led me to a place where I feel or believe that there’s definitely some force or energy, a greater good and I sometimes see this is in the form depicted in religion and at other times I am in doubt.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? I hate the very idea of war, I think it’s an example of people’s greed and worst and lowest instincts. It saddens me to realise that at every given moment there are places in the world while we call ourselves a “global community”. I feel helpless in the face of this issue and this makes me sad and angry.
I believe that once attacked – people should defend themselves, so in the world we live in and given the thousands of years’ history prior to our existence – realistically speaking war is unavoidable and every country is in a way forced to be prepared to defend its inhabitants.
Power – it’s difficult to define. In the conventional sense money and high social standing is power, but I hate that I can observe this working like this around me.
In everyaday life power is being able to be your own person – independence.
I think healthy kind of power would be an ability to positively influence other people’s lives and shelter them from abuse (i.e. wars).
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? About my beliefs, about my and other people’s dreams, about interactions with other people, about past experiences, about religion, the supernatural, about love, about the meaning of life, about current political issues, about freedom. Those are pretty much my interests. Those are the subjects I am instinctively drawn to.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? Sometimes, but more about how food affects us rather than discussions on medicine and illnesses – this annoys me. I try to take care of my body and to look nice and attractive. I want to be healthy and stay in shape, but I have trouble with mobilising myself to do so.
What do you think of daily chores? I hate them, but they’re necessary so I try to attend to those that I can’t live without and keep on postponing the rest to the point when the situation forces me to take care of them. Sometimes I just don’t notice the necessity to do some things, my focus is elsewhere. I do like being in a clean, nice place though, ironically.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. I’ll likely enjoy reading anything by Nicholas Sparks, although after reading a few books he’s gotten a bit predicatable. Also, Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson, I used to love the Anne of Green Gables books. Also Winnetou series by Karol May. Also some local authors of similar types of books.
With books I tend to like uplifting stories giving hope.
In no particular order, films I enjoyed watching – sample of my taste: X-Men, Iron Man, Transformers, Taken, Gone With The Wind, Singing In The Rain, Wicker Park, Jurassic Park, Ice Age, Rio, System, Matrix, Labirynth, Die Hard, While You Were Sleeping, Eternal Sunshine of the Spottless Mind, Yes Man, Sweet November, The Proposal, Here Comes Polly, RV, The Life of David Gale, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty... I watch a lot of films. Also some TV series I like or used to like: The Good Wife, The Criminal Minds, CSI Miami, CSI New York, Grey’s Anatomy, Dr House, Prison Break...
Used to read loads of books, keep promising myself that I’ll get back to this.
With films I like action/thriller without too much unjustified violence – usually a hero “saving the world” or a close one. I can’t read books like these though, I get nightmares later on. I also like romantic comedies or a “drama” with a happy ending.
Hate horrors. I can appreciate a good drama, but in general don’t tend to look for such films, as I think there’s enough drama in the world “as is” and I’d much rather watch something uplifting.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? Cry: loss of love and death of my animals, also touching scenes in movies or information on a sad event in the world. Thinking about war makes me get teary. Also, moments of great joy or deep feelings.
Smile: feeling loved, having fun with friends, seeing a happy couple in love
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? At one with environment: somewhere out in the open near a sea or a lake
A sense of belonging: with my loved ones and close friends
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? To both: Temporary enthusiasm without enough follow-through, taking “forever” to “get moving” when I want to do something. Terrible lack of punctuality. Sometimes getting angry/aggravated about petty things.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? I tend to give good advice and am a good listener. I have many ideas how to help someone solve their problem. Intellectual capabilities. Some people say I have a way with words.
In what areas of your life would you like help? In starting the projects I want to take up and keeping my faith up when things get more difficult than I initially expected. In getting me out of the house to experience things, in keeping order in the place I live.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. Unfortunately, yes. Sometimes I overanalyze things that happened in my life, get immersed in past negative experiences and this makes me stuck in a rut for a day or so, when I kind of “go emo” wallowing in my sadness, listening to some music that moves and thinking. I get irritable then too. Probably it happens when I should be doing something else that I find difficult and subconsciously find myself something to occupy my thoughts with... I’m not sure if that’s really the reason, though. Sometimes such a day leads me to some realisations of things that bother me and makes me discuss some issues with other people and solve things. Sometimes it’s just a sort of release of built up emotion I think...
I have been stuck in a rut of prolonged periods of time in the past – but then I wouldn’t call it a rut, because it was depression... so lack of appetite, lack of/difficulty with sleep, withdrawing almost completely from the world, etc...
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I like honesty and clear intentions, optimism, energy, being dependable, curiosity.
I don’t like dishonesty, materialism, using other people for own purposes, hate manipulation, violence, pushy people.
I get along best with people who display the positive qualities I listed above. I like people who take my opinion into consideration and respect my needs. But I think when need be I can find a way to get along with almost anyone – as long as they are willing to collaborate, and even if they are not, if forced I can also find my way around for some time, but I find this tiring.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? I think basically love is a priority in my life. Sometimes when I look back at what I was capable of sacrificing in my life for the sake of my relationships – I get annoyed with myself. But then when I think deeper, I realise that in the end I don’t regret this, even though it brought me a lot of pain at times. I love sex, but I don't think I would be able to have a one night stand, I need to feel emotionally close to someone to get close with them physically.
In a partner I value someone who puts energy and heart into the relationship, someone with whom I can talk about the current events and my interests, romanticism, someone with whom I feel safe and know that I will be protected and a bit shielded from anyone who’d want to hurt me. I can take care of myself, too, and I don’t think that I appear fragile, but I noticed that I really appreciate when someone pays attention to my needs and makes sure I feel good and safe. I’d love someone who could cook, but we’re speaking of ideals here...
Also someone pleasing to the eye, not necessarily in the conventional sense, but someone who just takes care of their body.
I would like to protect my children from the negative influences of the world. I wouldn’t like them to play the very violent and realistic computer games, at least not before the age that they are aware of what is real and what is not and before they are responsible. I think this will be difficult to accomplish though. I wouldn’t like them to become desensitised to violence. I wouldn’t like them to watch a lot of the modern cartoons which I perceive as visually ugly and mentally dumbing down instead of enhancing development of children. I find it sad that nowadays a lot of children get stuck in front of a computer and they miss out on playing with their friends in real life interactions. I hope I’ll find a way for my children to go out and play and use their imagination and not only be stuck home with friends online.
Other than that I’d like them have a lot of freedom to figure out who and why they want to be. I’d like them to feel selfconfident and loved. I’d like to raise my children to be good people, to be educated and independent and want to support them in following their dreams.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? It depends on how important a belief is to me. If it’s something I don’t consider important, I will internally get a bit surprised or annoyed and then try to figure out why they think the way they do. If it’s something I consider important then I will speak out and ask them about the reasons for why they think this way and hopefully I will find out and we’ll have a discussion and reach a point where we either agree or agree to disagree, but at least understand each other’s motives for our beliefs.
There are some things that would just aggravate me and might make me snap, but... I mean I don’t think I would be friends with someone whose hobby is i.e. shooting animals in the first place, so...
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. I want people to be happy as a society. I try to contribute by some things that I do, but I always feel that I don’t do enough (and truthfully so). I am withdrawn, but I do like people. Sometimes I get annoyed by the “collective mind” and people not taking the time to think for themselves, which leads to them making certain choices and then complaining about some bad things happening, which could’ve been avoided. It annoys me that there are many positive things that could be achieved by the society, but go unnoticed, because everyone is so busy going about their own lives and not noticing that uniting life forces makes a difference and the “eat or you will be eaten” doesn’t have to be and isn’t the only way to live.
There are many things, but the first one that came to mind when thinking about a prevalent social problem is: extreme poverty (meaning lack of food and/or place to live and/or realistic perspectives to find a job).
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? I don’t think I consciously choose my friends, usually relationships just evolve over time and at some point I realise that someone I considered an acquaintance became a colleague and someone I considered a colleague turned out to be a friend... Usually those are people whom I consider nice, with whom I have something in common and we have subjects to talk about and can depend on each other in difficult moments. I don’t have many friends, at the moment outside of of my family I think I can call one person a good friend.
When I am around friend/s I tend to joke around, act goofy and have a good time, but also feel comfortable being silent and relaxed. We usually discuss things that happen to us and I end up being the confidante giving advice most of the time.
I keep my distance but it depends on situation. If someone looks friendly and we are in a meeting with people I consider friends/colleagues – then I might strike up a conversation and enjoy learning things about a newly met person.
Sometimes I act goofy around strangers when I am with my friends and we’re joking around.
If someone I don’t know approaches me and asks about something I really want to give them the best answer/advice/help...
In groups – if it’s a loud group where I for some reason don’t feel comfortable – I’ll be silent most of the time, if it’s a group I consider friendly – I’ll join in and we’ll have fun.
Member Questionnaire (nebulaazul)
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Originally Posted by nebulaazul
