Member Questionnaire 1
What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty is significance, meaning and understanding, moments I remember and live to relive. Love is these feelings evoked by an individual , concurrent admiration and gratitude.
What are your most important values?
Relationships based on reciprocated trust that withstand testing moments, temptations/opportunities that occur throughout life, and a concurrent germination and attention to loving relationships.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
Religion is repulsive; it’s an inherently misogynistic and oppressive aspect of life (teachings and gurus). I do not believe in any god and wish everyone else didn’t too. I’m trying to develop a spirituality based on feeling connected to other people, animals and plants. This involves feelings and energy. Religion’s stories might have had some entertainment value if I’d prefer the inherent oppressiveness to not be maintained.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
Madness. Suffering. Based on deception. Money-maker. Oppression. Power to many people seems to be doing as abject self-interest dictates despite the suffering caused to others, insensitivity. Power, to me, means being able to protect myself, to have an unbroken spirit so I can carve out a life.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Food and nutrition as I want to improve health and biology is a very interesting system and there is so much bullshit in the mainstream about everything so the revelations are often mind-blowing, which feels real good.
Socionics as it gives me a sense of understanding of myself and others, a sense of safety (protection) and control and it’s often fun game, trying to work out people’s types.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I am especially interested in nutrition, alternative medicine and health as a topic. I’ve read loads about all this and have tried various ways of eating. I’m not as focused on my body as I’d like to be. I felt best in my body when I was highly involved in sport.
What do you think of daily chores?
I hate them. They are a distraction, but I need to do them for peace of mind or I’m going to feel even more restless knowing they have to be done at some point.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
Rats & Gargoyles – Superlative.
Ash – The first great novel I ever read. After that I needed to read a ‘better caliber’ of fantasy novel. I stopped reading any old sword and sorcery novel.
Gormenghast – Impressive work of imagination and characterization. Beautiful.
Batman Returns – Great Batman Atmosphere. Kyle’s betrayal and breakdown into Catwoman
Boys Don’t Cry – Vey well told. Excellent acting. Powerful.
Edward Scissorhands – Sad, beautiful music, atmospheric.
Rocky Horror picture Show
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
My ex girlfriend made my cry one night after we split up because I was thinking about how she’d been deliberately cruel. I cried at the end of Boys Don’t Cry because they hurt her and took her life, no justice.
Sometimes I smile when life seems like a cruel joke but I can’t resign myself to that joke. I smile when I look at tasty food I’m lucky to have. I smile when I wonder if anyone else thought the comment about the woman telling people she had a full beard for years was as funny and tragic as I did.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
At feel at one when I’m alone in a forest or park, especially if I can lay down or climb, play, explore. I also feel a sense of belonging in the USA. I’ve been to Florida a few times and Georgia. I feel a greater sense of belonging outside of London, which is where I live. I feel at one with my environment (all) during dreams.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
People have seen my isolation as a weakness. I dislike my shyness.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
People noticed that I was very good at sports, seemingly random people remembered me years later. I like that I’m trustworthy and will never ‘sell my soul’. I do not have any desire to oppress anyone for personal gain. I do not waste money on meaningless status symbols.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
I’d like help forming relationships, emotional support. I’d like carrying out my plans for life.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes, if I don’t do what I need to do to get peace of mind and make progress due to the mood I’m in or being distracted by thoughts. A feeling of stagnation and being crushed is extremely uncomfortable. I tell myself this or that is necessary. Those are the only words that will get through to me sometimes.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I like emotional warmth, understanding, trustworthiness, integrity, intelligence and knowledge, open-mindedness, funniness, hate spitefulness and vindictiveness, but dislike misguided mercy. I get along with people around whom you do not have to watch your back because they will walk over you if they could get away or get something out of it. I dislike a lot of emotional demonstrativeness focused on me as it makes me uncomfortable and unsure of how to react appropriately. I like people I can talk to about personal subjects.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I like personalized romance, not stereotypical and/or expected moves. I feel unsure of myself as a relationship develops. My partner sets the tone for romantic expression in the early stages. I feel like I’m overstepping, being inappropriate. So I want my partner to be confident in this. Similarly, I feel unsure of myself in relation to sex; first initiation of physical contact goes to the partner. In an established relationship where I am sure of mutual affection, great, mutual expressions of desire are necessary.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
That I don’t crush her spirit, force her into being someone she’s not. I would want to support her desires but also make sure her desires are healthy and not the result of a sick society. I would pay careful attention to what she says and does, her moods. I would talk to her about various subjects, teach her about feminism and feminist history.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Inward reaction... Do I understand this person? That was unexpected, or not. What exactly does she believe? Why? Is she aware of the opposing ideas? Do I trust her? Outward reaction... “What are you basing those beliefs on?” More tactfully, hopefully.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I don’t feel part of society. I see many people as heartless or resigned to be heartless. Misogyny is a prevalent social problem.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
My friends choose me. I’m terrible at forming relationships. If one is turning on me or hostile I keep an eye on them. If, unfortunately, I need to apply a little damage control and distance the friend somehow I will do. Around them I probably look serious but say non-serious things. I try to be good and pleasant company.
How do you behave around strangers?
Around strangers I feel shy and tense but try to hide that with body language. I may be curious about individuals but do not usually have an impulse to chat to them. But if they chat to me, fine, I'll usually try to be good company.