My EII good friend, also a relation by past marriage, has been in a long and difficult conflictor marriage with her SLE husband. The conflicts can be quite intense, and painful, for both. She particularly is into staying together for their kids to have both parents in the home and I think he is also just as determined on that. Right now they are having a peaceful respite period from conflict (and since I pray for them at every Mass I am personally thankful for their peace). And they are planning a vacation. This is always good for them because they actually do quite well on vacations. Also on family holidays. There are exceptions - an occasional conflict-filled issue will pop up on these occasions, but never one of their trademark all-out conflicts. They just seem able to come together and put on a good holiday for their own family, or have a pleasant vacation time together. Not camping. None of them camp, which would require more cooperation certainly. .Its always hotels and restaurants and a nice location, like a shore. Its a good "glue" for them, IMO...
Then I thought of the two other conflictor couples I know. One has four children, one three. They are both ESE (wife) ILI (husband) Conflictor couples. Both also have long marriages full of painful conflicts, and are just rarely ever, ever of one mind when it comes to day-to-day matters. However, both those families also have enjoyed great vacations together, often big traveling vacations, cross-country or out-of-country. One is cataloging her whole current vacation on Facebook right now. I realize also all three couples do a lot of eating out as a family at interesting places. Their vacations are not camping, though. None of them camp, which would require more cooperation certainly. .Its always hotels and restaurants and a nice location, like a shore. Also, with the exception of my EII friend, who has "un-friended" her husband's clannish family and refuses to spend any more time with them, these conflictor couples also spend time visiting relatives afar.
My new SLI-Dual husband and I probably will take very few vacations for some years, as we are prioritizing working to pay off the house, and we also have lots of house projects we want to complete. Plenty of day-hikes at the many places to choose from nearby, though. But not having a good travel budget is fine with me. We just like being together. Working hard around the house is nice when we get to relax together after. Not much interest to post on Facebook, but we are happy. And I think we would do okay camping, so if we have a hankering to try out a new locale, I have all that equipment.
I wonder if anyone else has seen observed this with Conflictor couples they know? Do you think that perhaps vacations or celebrations are a common oasis-time from for Conflictor couples?