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Thread: Conflictors on Vacation

  1. #1
    Seriously Judicious Emotivist Eliza Thomason's Avatar
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    Default Conflictors on Vacation

    My EII good friend, also a relation by past marriage, has been in a long and difficult conflictor marriage with her SLE husband. The conflicts can be quite intense, and painful, for both. She particularly is into staying together for their kids to have both parents in the home and I think he is also just as determined on that. Right now they are having a peaceful respite period from conflict (and since I pray for them at every Mass I am personally thankful for their peace). And they are planning a vacation. This is always good for them because they actually do quite well on vacations. Also on family holidays. There are exceptions - an occasional conflict-filled issue will pop up on these occasions, but never one of their trademark all-out conflicts. They just seem able to come together and put on a good holiday for their own family, or have a pleasant vacation time together. Not camping. None of them camp, which would require more cooperation certainly. .Its always hotels and restaurants and a nice location, like a shore. Its a good "glue" for them, IMO...

    Then I thought of the two other conflictor couples I know. One has four children, one three. They are both ESE (wife) ILI (husband) Conflictor couples. Both also have long marriages full of painful conflicts, and are just rarely ever, ever of one mind when it comes to day-to-day matters. However, both those families also have enjoyed great vacations together, often big traveling vacations, cross-country or out-of-country. One is cataloging her whole current vacation on Facebook right now. I realize also all three couples do a lot of eating out as a family at interesting places. Their vacations are not camping, though. None of them camp, which would require more cooperation certainly. .Its always hotels and restaurants and a nice location, like a shore. Also, with the exception of my EII friend, who has "un-friended" her husband's clannish family and refuses to spend any more time with them, these conflictor couples also spend time visiting relatives afar.

    My new SLI-Dual husband and I probably will take very few vacations for some years, as we are prioritizing working to pay off the house, and we also have lots of house projects we want to complete. Plenty of day-hikes at the many places to choose from nearby, though. But not having a good travel budget is fine with me. We just like being together. Working hard around the house is nice when we get to relax together after. Not much interest to post on Facebook, but we are happy. And I think we would do okay camping, so if we have a hankering to try out a new locale, I have all that equipment.

    I wonder if anyone else has seen observed this with Conflictor couples they know? Do you think that perhaps vacations or celebrations are a common oasis-time from for Conflictor couples?

  2. #2
    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    I haven't seen too many conflictor couples, thank god.

    Does that happen frequently?

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    bolong's Avatar
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    Not a couple, but my mom is my conflictor (LSE + IEI). We do pretty well on vacations with my parents' family friends, including camping. Mostly because there are 3-4 other families with us, so we leave each other alone.

    A few times we were on vacation with just each other, and my ILI brother. Those were frightful situations. Everyone wanted to do something different, no one really had the will to force their own agenda though, everyone still tried to cooperate, it didn't really make a difference, made us more frustrated because we were trying and no one was appreciating it..

    My mom and dad are a super ego couple, LSE + EIE, and possibly because they are both extraverts, they do well in those large group vacations. Much better than they are at home, anyway. Except when my dad gets too drunk and makes everyone uncomfortable, and then bullies my mom when she doesn't back him up.

    I don't go on family vacations anymore. I just like being with my LSI bf, whether we're at home or we go on a day hike to the beach or woods. I probably couldn't be more different from OP in beliefs and all, but in this I totally get you.

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    Seriously Judicious Emotivist Eliza Thomason's Avatar
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    Great post, blood moon. Got me thinking about those relations. I will comment more later as right now I have a deadline to meet but I just wanted to check in. Thanks.

  5. #5
    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I've never seriously entertained a conflict relations although I do know many SLE and many have been attracted to me. I like them as people but our conflicts most often revolve around Fe and Fi values. I prefer that people feel within themselves empathy for others while SLE think it's a waste of time, they have no use for empathy. They do sympathize with people and they do have strong emotional experiences. They are different from my own. I speak so much about how I feel for others and what evolutionary processes of morality take place in others. They would me rather not and just experience or follow real life experiences like watch a beautiful sunset accompanied by guitar. I don't think this can be done exhaustively, only brief about of time. I'd rather find work to do. They find work but when they do they concentrate on the bottom line, the profits rather than the quality of their work. SLE are honest in that when they provide a product, like a coffee you'll be sure that it will be such an amazing sensory experience like none other however they are slower less methodical workers than LSE who work differently.

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