is this how ILEs and SEIs commence the coupling?
Intro: this is a conversation verbatim from plenty of fish, to my phone…I lie alot in it but eh, i got laid. Even though this is through text, I can’t stress enough that this is basically how I talk to all girls I’m trying to get with and MANY of the conversation literally go just like this. I just don’t happen to have them in text. And yes…this girl was hot
(open with something different)
Me: Hi
According to your profile
You have all your limbs attatched
You speak english
You kill plants
You swear alot
You want to be shot with lasers
These are 5 o the 8 things i look for in a girl so i propose we go on a date to discuss possible mating
Please respond within 3 business days or I will commence in eating my weight in ice cream
(chevelle….reallly…)
Her:
According to your profile:
You quite possibly have been in jail
Like to destroy things in and around your neighborhood
You are secure enough with your masculinity to wear a Twilight shirt
Say fart, and hopefully do, fart
Live in ______, where I was born
Maybe I could acquire the other three characteristics I need to acquire Goddess Status.
Did you eat your own weight in ice cream anyways…? I vote Banana Split.
(Fart….really?)
Me: If you had the other 3 characteristics I’d probably come to CS right now and attempt to make love to you on a mountain top
But since you don’t we are gonna have to go on a date or something and flirt. Or maybe just meet up on Northgate like normal people
Im so sorry you were born in _____ it must of scarred you for life
Her:
Are you from BCS or something?
Good luck finding a mountain top close to here in which to have sex with me on. (small shit test)
And yes, it did scar me for life. Raised on Dyess and everything.
Me:
haha alright maybe we could just have sex under a waterfall or something (blow off shit test)
Im in CS alot and about to move there for work n school
Your poor girl, I used to be air force, its makes people weird….like plenty of fish weird =P
Her:
We could go to Austin, there’s a waterfall there! I’m ready! (shit test pass = amped up sexuality)
You’re going back to school? What did you get your BS in?
And I agree, you are pretty ****ing weird. Air Force did a number on you.
Me:
haha DTFUW (down to **** under a waterfall) i love it =P
Random Information about me
I think we are both kinda weird lol…so is this site lol. Shoot me your number so we can work out this waterfall agreement =P
Her:
Good idea with the waterfall, will mask my loud moaning which is apparently what I’m really good at.
I was going to call you an idiot for coming to CS simply to have fun…and then I remembered where you’re from and I thought better of it. What are you going to go to school for?
Yes, I think we’re both very strange and this site is pretty close. I’ll be graduating in May so I won’t be here past June or so (hopefully.) Wouldn’t want you to fall in love with me or anything.
Me:
okay see your mean because thinking about moaning turns me on, and since you live in cs makes me very sexually frustrated
rude
haha i travel all over texas and I always have the most fun on northgate..cs kinda sucks for other stuff though
okay no more being pof pen pals whats your number
Her:
Ugh. You’re weird and that intrigues me so…
55555 number
TO TEXTING
1(me) : Im not sure how it got to this but im totally picturing fucking you under a waterfall right now
2: So i did some fb stalking and you do not live in austrailian. Thats sad because i doubt it will ever happen (shit test)
1: Haha i did 2 monthes ago, ha ya we will prob have to fuck in bed or something….laaaame (shit test destroyed)
2: I want to live in austraila….!! would get so turned on by the accent wherever Id go. Wet at the grocery store, wet at the theater, Id be screwed (but never literally which sucks (look what happens when you pass shit test)
1:Haha i can do a pretty sweet one. Thank for letting me know how to get into your pants (her name)
2: Well fuck. You dont ride bikes to do ya? Cause id be done
1.Ive always wanted to do a girl on a motorcycle porno style if that counts
2.THAT does NOT count. You fail. And thats fun by the way (shit test for lack of better words)
1.Haha, maybe if your cool ill let you show me how…Ride a motorcycle that is (shit test her right back)
2.Im not cool your screwed (still fucking with me)
1.Guess someones not getting laid by a austrailian guy now (im the prize)
2.Your not austrailian i want the real thing (still fucking with me)
And i want a cool girl. Wed never work and we just have cold emotionless sex all day, you fail (im the prize)
I dont think my vag could handle sex all day especially if your big. Send me a pic ( I win)
I then link her to my website Ehowtobuy___ (not public yet). And changed the text on it to say IM GONNA FUCK YOU ON A MOTORCYCLE, with a picture of me flipping her off
2: HAHA you win, the guy at the top though looks like he has a mullet
1: Lol i like you (her name)
2: Haha, i know lets have babies (game point. Match alex)
1: Cool ill see you on this day
Roll credits