"Initiators" and "receivers" in dual relations
i'm extending a question posed for SLIs and IEEs in the delta dualities thread to all other types and dualities. for all these dual pairs which type of the pair is most likely to be the "initiator", in the active role of making contact and pursuit, and which type is more likely to be in the receiving, accepting role? the romancing styles don't go into explaining the subtleties of each pair, which is what i was wondering about.
ENTp - ISFp
ESFj - INTj
ESTp - INFp
ENFj - ISTj
ESFp - INTp
ENTj - ISFj
ENFp - ISTp
ESTj - INFj
I'd imagine both sides would be capable of showing initiative when it comes to their respective strengths/ego functions--an IEE would show initiative when it comes to Ne and Fi matters, while an SLI would take the initiative when it comes to Si and Te. Maybe. Although I'm not sure that's what you're asking for.
Regarding the ESTj and the INFj, I think that the INFj has to make initial contact. This is because:
Originally Posted by Nevero
1. The ESTj is often enveloped in work or school that they do not notice distinctive qualities in others, so the INFj would have to approach them to "prove" their worth. This is easy because the INFj can be very caring and interested in others, which is a quality that the ESTj admires.
2. The INFj is a friendly person at times, and if he happens to strike up a conversation with an ESTj he might like him due to the ESTj's charm and knowledge about things. The INFj is more likely to pursue first because of his knack of "sizing people up," as well as being a positivist type.
in several Russian descriptions INTj is said to be the initiator in its dual couple, because the extroversion and sensing of the ESFj only leads her to fuss with peripherally relevant things around the INTj without addressing him very directly.
i'm sorry, but how can any of you take this dichotomy seriously? i mean come on, "givers" and "receivers"? "tops" and "bottoms"? "pitchers" and "catchers" anyone?
i think it does usually happen that one person is more forward than the other but at least for me its healthier to not think in these terms when i'm dealing with real people cuz when i do it makes me super neurotic. if you like somebody then you should be willing to put in some effort towards letting them know and making things happen.
Originally Posted by Capitalist Pig
Yeah, I'm not sure for my dual pair, it seems like ILE should initiate as extrovert however they are flighty sometimes and bad at gauging who they would actually get along with. I read something by Augusta that said however that ILE's get bored if the other party is "chasing" them. I guess you just drop a cookie in their lap and wait for them to come get you.
I agree that if you like someone, its nice to take some initiative and just show that you like them. For one thing, it feels honest (to get to do so), like "no games- I'm earnest."
I heard a rumour that the sensing types are more likely to initiate, because Intuitives are too lost in their respective "what ifs". I don't know how that plays out if the Sensing type is Introverted, but it's definitely true for my SLI friends being initiators. Before learning about socionics, I was very flighty indeed, cookies were overt statements of I like you.