Chapter 1: Right Timing
Glass shattered everywhere as Sam was brutally punched out of the window of an expensive apartment in New York, from his semi-boyfriend Sean.
If Sam was to participate in the Crown of Gaslighting tournament, he was going to need *lots* of practice. So that is what he was doing. Having a Shaman vs. Warrior practice battle.
The fight was scheduled to start this Winter, up north in Greenland - in a secret arena forged by the Gods that the Oldest of Jew Sages knew about. It would take some time, but Cpig with his connections would be able to rent the arena for them to use.
Oh right. Sam was so lost in his thoughts that he forgot to levitate. He levitated back up and went through the broken window. He looked at Sean.
“You know this isn’t very fair” Sam said. “You have better offensive powers than me.”
“Don’t play victim” Sean said sternly, in his sexy new york accent. “You have better healing and defensive powers than me.”
“Everybody knows you don’t heal a raid boss to death” Sam said.
“But if you juggle your healing and offensive powers right, you have a chance” Sean said. “You just uh need the right timing or somethin.”
“I have great raw ideas, but my mechanics still suck” Sam said.
Sean used his Charge ability on Sam, and knocked him out of the window again. “Yeah ya homo, why do you think we’re practicing?”
Sam sighed and levitated through the window again, more quickly and efficient this time. He shot out a bolt of shamanic lightning at Sean, but he dodged out of the way.
“You know my heart just isn’t in this” Sam said. “I never WANTED the Crown of Gaslighting. I wanted to destroy it.”
“Because you judged it as evil” Sean said. “The Crown of Gaslighting is beyond good or evil. But if you win it, I know you’ll do amazing good with it.”
“Anybody who ever thinks they can make the world a better place… it always fails” Sam said sadly.
“No. They just said that because they’re more cynical and grumpy. They don’t have your neon magic, your positivity, your gayness- nor your wonderful heart. They ain’t you. If anybody can make this stupid cruel world a better place, it’s you.”
Sam smiled. He felt so loved and inspired by that. He choked up and felt his eyes swell with tears.
Then of course, he was knocked out of the window again.
The Idea of Time looked back at the portal he just stepped out of.
“First things first” he said, and used his Time Magic to obliterate the portal. But this time, he reversed time to destroy it – as casting an acceleration spell on a portal would just make it more powerful. The portal vanished back into a single spark of magic – before it was finally, truly nothing.
“There. I’ll never be in *that* prison again” The Idea of Time said happily.
The Idea of Time turned back around and walked through the earth. He entered a small park. Everything felt so faded and dull to him, even as the sun was shining brightly on this warm spring day. It was like he was in an old dead painting.
He saw a little boy about five years old playing happily with a small red rubber ball, kicking it around.
“How can anybody be amused by such mundane trash?” The Idea said.
The little boy looked at the man and was scared. “My mommy said to not talk with strangers” the boy said.
The Idea just kept quiet and casually waved his hands, speeding up the boy’s age. The boy quickly transformed from a boy, to a teen, to a young adult, to a middle-aged man – and finally to an old wrinkly grandpa before he fell over and died from old age. All in a matter of seconds.
The Idea of Time moaned with a greater peace as he heard the old man’s skull falling on the dirt.
About two minutes later, the boy’s mother came up to the scene. She was horrified, seeing this strange being in front of her and then a dead old man on the floor. And she knew in her heart the dead man was her son. It was her first time seeing magic, but she was always one of the Believers.
“W-what are you.” The woman tried to whack the Idea of Time with her purse, but of course it did 0 hp worth of damage and the Idea just glared at her like she was an idiot.
“I am something far beyond your comprehension” The Idea of Time said.
“You killed my son!” the mother said, crying. She frantically reached for her cell phone and tried to call the cops.
The Idea of Time arched a brow. “Really think they can help you?” She stopped dialing the number.
“This is foul demonic magic!” the woman said. “You- you sped up time to kill him. This is unnatural… you can reverse this. Change it.”
The Idea of Time pouted sociopathically. “But… but I don’t wanna” it said.
“Why are you doing this!” the woman said.
“Because it’s just what I do” the Idea said. “You humans always need to find motivation for everything. You punish and reward people that way – based on their motivation. But killing is just what I do. It’s what I am.”
“We always have a choice!” the woman said.
The Idea shook his head. “I was killing your son from the very moment that he was born” it said. Just that when I was in that stupid prison, my powers were so fucking diluted so it happened a lot more slowly The Idea thought.
The woman thought for a moment and looked at him. “So what, you’re the very embodiment, the very notion of… of Time?”
The Idea of Time smiled. “Okay so you’re not as stupid as I thought” it said.
“Please.. please just reverse time, change him back” the woman pleaded.
“No. Why do you want him back? It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. In 80 years, he would have suffered the same fate, just like you have about 50 years left. You hold onto him for a sentimental reason but the Heart is Always broken. And I am the Original Breaker. I am natural… and pure.”
“No! You’re an evil murdering son of a bitch!”
“Everything ends” The Idea of Time said plainly like those narcissistic Hollywood writers with so much money but no heart or compassion.
“Yeah that might be true but but – it’s supposed to be gradual. It’s-“
“I was diluted for so many eras. You’re just now feeling me at my full strength” The Idea of Time said.
The woman just looked at him, not knowing what to say.
“Enough of this. I bore of you now.”
The Idea of Time reversed time on the woman, changing her from a middle aged woman, to a young adult woman, to a teenage straight female, and then a girl, then a baby girl – then back in her mother’s womb, then the very Idea of her not even constructed yet in the cosmos. And she ceased to exist, just like her son did.
“Now…” The Idea of Time said happily. “Time to do that to all things but me!”