Writing a letter to the INFp
Ok...so I did that. Wrote a long ass email, every advice I've sought out from friends and family have all basically said the same thing...and it just felt right. So I sent one stating everything I thought, felt, and that he's worth it etc. Basically the points mentioned above in my own way. So...we shall see.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
HAHA I havent felt anything negative yesterday and today as far as IEI-guy goes...so I think that was a temporary negativity-outburst, which I havent had today...but felt I needed.
I am full of shit.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
Well aren't you just so fucking lucky. I'm getting drunk, and seeing my friend.Originally Posted by ESTP
HAHA I havent felt anything negative yesterday and today as far as IEI-guy goes...so I think that was a temporary negativity-outburst, which I havent had today...but felt I needed.
I am full of shit.
My emotions in general feel all over the fucking place. And I get kind of negative at times, and then try and cover up with positive things. And so I can talk about the positive things to blank out all the negative things.
AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN FELT ANYTHING NEGATIVE.
So you should feel fortunate. You're like nice and stable and you have .. an IEI .. that doesn't want a relationship .. which at least is a grounded concept.
how is that not negative??Well aren't you just so fucking lucky. I'm getting drunk, and seeing my friend.
My emotions in general feel all over the fucking place. And I get kind of negative at times, and then try and cover up with positive things. And so I can talk about the positive things to blank out all the negative things.
AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN FELT ANYTHING NEGATIVE.
So you should feel fortunate. You're like nice and stable and you have .. an IEI .. that doesn't want a relationship .. which at least is a grounded concept.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
ahhaha thanks for the heads up??o, blueprints for the people who'd like to modify their natural behaviour
I'm not a "controlling super alpha male" so I'm chickening out of this topic
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
I don't think "controlling" is the key word but "confident".I'm not a "controlling super alpha male" so I'm chickening out of this topic
If I would have to guess about how to become this (I'm not) I would say... improved physical abilities like: power, stamina, flexibility combined with a dash of "f*ck them all" carelessness... Kinda like stepping into the dance ring and doing your moves not caring what people think, just having fun...
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
yan know estp... you remind me of something..
when i was young, i went through this period of time that i used to kind of "give lectures" on how people should behave towards me. so that they know, and have no excuse to be oblivious.
not everyone responded positively. although some people - it's like i only had to say a little, and it's like they could complete. or they could show understanding in a way, so that i didn't have to say. which would shortcut, and then i wouldn't have to bother.
now the thing is,
there are certain behaviours i expect people to have. and i don't always voice them, but sometimes, i get irritated or agitated when people keep acting the wrong way, and i feel like i have to say how they should behave.
now, this brings into account more than one problem. some people don't ilke adapting their behaviour to others. and some people find it hard to change their behaviour too quickly, and need time.
oh, and three, you know it's a pain in the ass having to go to all this work. and it's so much easier when relations are open/honest/easy/familiar etc, you know what to expect, what will happen etc. and then when people act "strange", or in a way you're unfamiliar with there'll be a kind of automatic reaction of "what is that about".
anyway for me when i get comfortable with someone, i drop lots of words. it's like i don't want to say "how are you" to anyone that i'm too familar with because then they'll just be like "i'm very well" or like "i'm pregnant, the baby is due any moment now".
you know, cos it's like either, you do the whole fake "yes i am very, and how are you" and it's like obviously superficial and overdone. or it'll be like - say some bullshit thing that obviously isn't true.
but then it's like if you're not so familiar only a few people will try saying something silly. and i suppose a lot of people give a kind of half-phased "i'm okay".
Merc...those lectures on how to behave with me...is for people who express a need for guidance for the most part, unless they step on a stupid-stone...then I will smak them up-side the head and put them back on the right track.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
I had a long thing. Have you herad the song Devil's Dance my Metallica.
It goes something like:
Yeah, I feel you too
Feel those things you do
In your eyes I see a fire that burns
To free the you
That's wanting through
Deep inside you know
The seeds I plant will grow
One day you will see
And dare to come down to me
Yeah, c'mon, c'mon now take the chance
That's right
Let's dance
JAI HO!
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
UGH im contemplating dying my hair back to blonde. It's black right now...but ever time I go through something I consider a big deal...unfavourable big deal...I like to change something about myeslf...and 9.9/10 it's my hair colour. I.....ugh.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
What the fuck does that mean.
Well do something else then. Stop going with the familiar. Take a risk, do something different.
Wear a dress, shave your head.
I don't know. Maybe it's good. I've always had this thing against blondes. What's sven worse is when blonde girls dye their hair black. But their face is to pale. And they just look silly.
I learned tonight....it means, "Hali" or "Halleluja" in hindi. I only know it cuz of "slumdog millionarie" song "Jai Ho"
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
Hey, that's cool. Really sexual girls scare me. But it can be kind of fun.
Actually as far as forward girls go, I like the ones, that when sitting in a group will go kind of bright, and then it's like they'll stand up with their arm kind of lightly against their stomach/abdomen, and then they'll kind of keep approaching with caution, and then their arm around you and then kind of go behind you, and crouch a bit whilst their arm is still kind of around you.
And it's like they're light, and kind of present, and you've just met them. But it's not like forced/against, and it's like they'll still aware of what they can and cannot do.
Man...Nicole Scherzinger is alright in the video...cuz even tho she sluts it up a bit, she still can pull off the "indian" look...but those other ho's should be disposed of.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
but then there are the sexual girls, who are just like "i can get any guy i want", "i broke up with a guy because", " i'm not looking for a relationship" blah blah blah... and it's like sometimes they can be loose and easy... but it's like there's all this emotional torment bullshit in there too.
That's just an immaturity thing.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
i didn't even notice them
y'know, there was this strange drunk girl on a bus today. and she kind of looked at me, and said that she didn't make me laugh. she made everyone else laugh. i said "i don't laugh", and it was weird.
cos i thought she was kind of repulsive, and drunk, and talked too much. but she went on and on to these other guys about how she was a whore, getting a motel blah blah. you know, attention seeking, try and pull in the guys... nothing lost to lose.. bedraggled alcoholic girl, who is probably reasonably street wise, but kind of drunk too.
anyway,
i suppose she was trying to make people laugh. that's why she was acting kind of outlandish. but she was kind of annoying, and irreverent.
but she actually looked straight at me. and most girls don't do that. it's like most girls are actually pretty shy in foreign situations.
i was just thikning about the strange way i use of speaking, when i like "add" to what to someone else is about.
it's like if i want to say something to someone.. that they may take offence to .. and i don't want to force them to be any way or such, it's ilke i kind of speak as if things are a continuation, and it's like i hold it as a weak easily changed view that can go over the top.. not to try and change ... but to allow change... to trigger.. but not force a perception.
it's meant to be light.. not hard..
and i just realised, it must come across strangely online.
just try to imagine picking off lint
OH...the job thing...is not an issue by any means. I dont have a job cuz I don't need one for the next two years. Not that I'm bragging, just elaborating that I wasn't laid off or fired, just don't need to go work.
I dont know...I usually don't get like this. Or I over think situations. But, as of the day when it all came out, I seeminly lost my appetite. It's not something I do on purpose, cuz I heart food. But, I just can't stand to eat right now, food repulses me.
Maybe, it has something to do with subconciously, trying to "control" something. Like the hair thing...it really comes down to satisfying my need to control my circumstances and a change of appearance is just that. However, if I'm developing an eating-disorder or a borderline one due to this bullshit control issues I have...then I'm in trouble. That's a head-shrink type situation. At least I recognize it...but this is a little more seirous than just changing hair-colour.
I must admit, the prospect of losing some poundage is appealing...the reason behind it really is of concern a little more...or it should be. I have at least that many marbles to see it.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
i don't know how much you're effected by the appetites of others. but quite a lot of people i know, will eat a sufficient amount, and quickly, and then there are some who will eat way slower/less, or just stop eating.
and it's like there's this split. but like if you tend to go towards the eating more, maybe you need to be with someone who can eat decently on their own, and it's like they keep eating, so you do, and you eat with them. and they'll make sure you keep eating. as weird as that sounds, when you start eating again, you'll probably find that you enjoy it, but you may have lost track/notice of that, because you're over-invested in your emotions. blame infp influence or somethign.
FML
I WISH!
I have NO appetite...like, when I go to eat something, I feel overwhemingly full that I cant even be close to food.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
maybe you need to drink some water first, and keep moving, and stop fucking sitting on your emotions. express yourself
Starving yourself is the worst way to do it! You will yo-yo back to the weight you had as soon as you will start eating. By not providing food to the body you push it into conservation mode and in that mode it starts to accumulate dramatically. You might even gain a few pounds.
The best way to lose weight is to SLOWLY reduce calories! SLOWLY! And shifting them towards morning.
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
y'know what the fuck, why am i expressing all this shit, when it's you with the problem...
every single girl thinks she's too fat.
estp i saw heading, i think you shouldn't show us your letter to infp.
keep things private between you two.
FUCK...I'm not saying I'm doing it to lose weight. That was an anecdote to the situation.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
i dont care i will delete it after you read it...cuz this whole express you shit...im showing u...what i said...
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
That's why they invented the BMI.... when you go bellow the middle of the normal line and still see yourself as fat... it time to start looking for some psychological counseling.
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
don't worry.. i picked up on that... he's kind of just having his own take on things.. just let it go..
fuck off.
I second that
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
i cut and paste it into a file... i'll delete it once i'm done with it.
i cross-related to this girl that i had issues with, who i tried to sum things up with, then this guy (that i know) made her fucking reinterpret what i said, as if it was something bad. FUCKING ASSHOLE.
anyway, that guy just likes to start shit sometimes, or something. he seems to somehow, like to take out his issues with his brother on me or something. you know, everyone's trying to control him. blah blah. passive aggressive bullshit.
But anyway, be careful. And remove it from public. Please.
I did...obviously, for reasons we both understand.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
I have this feeling, he prolly is consulting his dad. He usually does, although he is in his late 20's he always consults him in major things (education for example) and what not...so perhaps he sought advice from him.
I dont know. Maybe not.....maybe he doesnt give a rats ass and pulled a seemingly emo fuck & chuck.
I know the fuck & chuck is not the case, cuz I know him better than that...but I sometimes wish that's how it was because it wouldnt be so fuckin hard.
Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.
estp.. one thing is you're trying to cover a lot of things at once...
It's liek sometimes, a space has to be created... and a decision to trying working things through...
it that has been lost.. then talking about issues can lead to a kind of detached attitude with the other party.
but hey, i'm assuming you're assuming he's invested.
i'll have a cig, then try and read through it again. it's a lot of words.
will do
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
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