Hi members of the16types.info.
Yes, I'm starting another type-me thread. I'm reluctant to because of how many threads I started when I was new, and I feel it's somewhat attention-seeking. But I haven't done a type-me thread in almost 2 years now I think. We also have a bunch of new people since my last thread, so I'm curious to hear their opinions as well.
Anyway, by the title I'm considering ESE. Specifically Si subtype. I've said before that I feel I didn't relate as much to either LSE-Te or ESE-Fe, so it was just a matter of choosing between LSE-Si and ESE-Si. It seems it can be a bit confusing when your subtype is the same function that Lookalike relations share. It also doesn't help that the forum generally lacks other ESEs & LSEs for comparison. That's probably why in my 3 & half years here, in the yearly superlative threads, I've been voted 'Most likely to be mistyped' like twice? Lol.
Socionics aside, I feel happier and healthier right now in life than I ever have before, and definitely better than when I first joined the forum. I feel like I've grown in a way that allows me to view myself more objectively, and just be honest and real about some of my weaknesses. I've developed a self-image of my strengths and weaknesses outside of socionics, so I don't feel emotionally attached to any one type, nor do I get offended if someone types me something different than my self-typing.
Some reasons for the consideration include:
- I seem to notice/focus more on people when I look around a room. I see LSEs who typically glaze over people more in their scans as they seem to be focusing more on process. When I enter a new room, I notice people first.
- I notice I am naturally more animated and expressive than LSEs. Even when I'm serious, or 'stone-faced', my first-reaction to things, the first impulsive reaction is generally one out of emotion.
- I'm not as productive as I wish to be. I can see Te as a weak function. Don't we all wish we were more productive? But if I'm honest with this, I'll say that I generally waste time getting carried away with considering the emotions of those around me. Yes - I'm able to be extremely productive at times - but this comes at a greater expense of energy, of ignoring many of the things I usually notice or get distracted by.
- I think I VI as ESE. Just being honest and viewing myself objectively finally, but I think my eyes radiate more Fe and expression than LSEs. I have moments of serious expression just like anyone else, and can seem like LSE & SLI with shared Si, but overall I think I look more like an Alpha SF.
- Don't we all want to be viewed as honest? And most people, independent of type, generally are honest. But I believe I have a tendency to say things, if someone is upset, that are aimed more at cheering someone up rather than focusing on whether they're completely accurate. This seems to be a definite 'no-no' with Te types who greatly value factual accuracy, and can make me come across as unauthentic and even fake to Fi types. I don't think a Te-leading type would deliberately say something inaccurate to cheer someone up, much less even notice the other person's emotional state in the first place.
I understand many of the Fi/Te members were extremely annoyed not so much at the simple type-changing I did my first 2 years on the forum, but even moreso that I would ACT differently with each type-change. I want to reassure you - this will not happen again. I'm still Greg. I'm still me. What was happening before was when I was at a very unhealthy level without a good self-image. I was experiencing an 'existential crisis' if you will call it that. And although I treated it as a game, I was really the one hurting. I also apologize for wasting everyone's time before.
That said, even if I do adopt the ESE self-typing, many of the negative things I said before about ESEs still stand. I almost want to apologize on behalf of the sociotype lol. ESEs have a lot of great things to offer, and I believe they can really help a lot of people. With that in mind, I easily understand how others can view them as a "lemon" of a type, especially unhealthy ESEs who act immaturely, and are generally annoying to be around.
On the other hand, I know there are some people who have typed me as LSE and might think that still stands. I would like to hear from you as well. Maybe I'm being overly critical of my lack of productivity, and what I perceive to be trying to connect to people emotionally as Fe could be interpreted to be Fi-seeking instead. I'll let you guys debate that.
I would like to be incredibly efficient. I would like to be honest. I would like to be taken seriously and respected. But I feel some of these things are simply human emotions, shared by all and independent of type. Many socionics labels like "merry" and "serious" are overly simplifying. I feel many of my strengths - my analytical side, my intelligence, my strong aptitude for math - are simply not type-related. Socionics seems to simply be more about the intertype relations between people - and in that sense, I can see myself identifying more with ESE. But it would certainly be possible to be an analytical and logical ESE.
That said, what do you think? Despite this entire post, I know some members in the past 2 months have typed me completely different types, from LSI to IEE. I'm curious to hear everyone's opinion, so even if you still think something different than LSE or ESE, still feel free to share.
Thanks everyone for reading.