What makes for a successful group/the mainstream

[SyrupDeGem]

Just turning this around in my head as i have fleetingly done several times. I was thinking about the different dynamics in all the tiny chat rooms we have had and the relative success of those. Also the forum, other forums, the real world meet ups and etc.

What is it that creates the attraction for people to join a group, is it information gathering/sharing? A specific person or several specific people that an individual wants to know better? An organised and controlled facade? A sense of belonging? Comfort? I'm sure it is all of those things to varying degree's. But what draws you personally to a group and what kind of dynamics do you think are needed for the group to thrive. Can we take tips from nature, a Hyena's cackle, a Lions pride or meercats or even seahorses... ?


Does everyone have their place within a group? I for one have mostly felt like an outsider even in those times I was part of a group, many people say this... do the outcasts belong into a separate group all of their own or it is the human condition to crave connection but to always feel it's slightly out of reach to belong...making everyone a veritable nomadic alien.

I have often thought about the mainstream of society. How there is no one mainstream. How there are just branches of mainstream in ever increasing fragments. Imagine mainstream to be a torrential river sweeping everyone along in it's ferocity, everyone shouting over the cacophony of crashing water thinking how we are all caught up in this same river, swimming against the tide trying to keep heads above water. But then imagine all the people who are marginalised within society, pushed to the side channels.... we can then see groups that are less mainstream i.e people with mental health issues, they are marginalised... one in 2-4 people suffer with mental health issues at some point. How about single mothers, they too are marginalised..and the unemployed, the ethnic minorities and etc. So now we have so many marginalised people that we no longer have a raging river... we just have puddles.


(Disclaimer: Was just flexing some ideas here, not making bold statements of facts, this is more about ideas)




Discuss

[Satan]

i mostly work my way from individuals to groups. groups can help form greater coherency, but they can also splinter.

[aisa]

hmm... to me I think it's about information sharing/gathering and just human interaction in a pleasant manner. I'm not big on groups though, prefer one-on-one meetings or large impersonal crowds that I enter with a few people closer to me. So I'd rather go for a coffee with a friend or a huge concert than to an at home closed party with the "obligatory" mingling.
When I do go to such small meet ups though - what drags me there is knowing there will be positive relaxed atmosphere and good food lol. But basically - anyway - mainly because smn I care about (and usually meet with one-one-one) asked me to go to such a meet up and seems to care about me being there.

[anndelise]

I've gotta think about groups I have voluntarily joined.
In school the sports and jrotc teams were a way of getting the hell away from my father for a while longer.

In my early 20s I did join a boyfriend who liked to hang out with his friends. But I found it mostly boring and only did it as a way to get to know him better.

As a mom I tried joining homeschooling groups with my daughter. This was for her benefit, to help her make a friend or two and gain some social skills. She would hit or miss in a group. While I couldn't seem to make a connection with anyone. But I would go, because she wanted to go, and she usually preferred that I stay there too. (Though I would take books and notes to work on.)

I did join a people-meeting-people type group. One reason was to learn more about that lifestyle/interest, seeking ideas, the other was so R and I could renew/upkeep our friendships with some of the couples. We eventually stopped going altogether, figuring that our real friends from it kept in touch with us outside of the group meetings, and interacting with them on a more individual basis was significantly easier for us.

I joined this forum, of course. Information seeking and sharing being the primary reason. But now because I have a couple of friends that regularly come here, and I can better understand what their dealing with if I can see it too. There's still seeking and sharing of ideas here though, so that helps.

TC is because I would like to get to know some individuals better. But most of the time I'm either bored, or overwhelmed by so many people there. The other day we had a nice night, though. There was a total of 4-5 people. One of them I consider a friend and speak offline with. Two of them were playing their instruments and singing. One of those has no problem showing off his skillz, but the other seems a little shyer about it. It felt great that he felt comfortable enough in this small group to share. Though he said the alcohol helped, lol. Something about it just felt so good. I hadn't felt that comfortable around multiple people in I don't know how long...it made me cry it felt so good.

One of the things I don't like about groups is when someone is placed in (or takes) center stage. Where all attention is on them, everyone responds and interacts with that one person, or to what that one person says/does, or that one person carries most if not all the conversation. Though it is interesting to see when people compete for attention in those groups.

Mostly, I guess groups are good (for me) for seeking ideas, sharing ideas, and people watching.