The stalkers of IEIs

[ThisIsKade]

Hullo, I'm an IEI and I go to open mics and play music and attend creative writing classes among other things, and everywhere I go I always find the same type of guy and I want to know what kind they are.

These guys have a mild artsy talent (but they always think they are better than they are). They are quirky and socially awkward, nonathletic, and not fashionable. They come off as eager and confident and always try to find a way to talk to me. They are really nice so I don't mind entertaining them because I have a kind of secondhand embarrassment for them, but I also have no interest in actually knowing them or having any kind of relationship.

I'm wondering if they are a delta, maybe EII? Because they also seem to have no regard for social hierarchy and maybe that's why I feel so embarrassed or sensitive towards them??

TELL MEEEEEE WHO YOU AREEEEE

[Satan]

they are INTP.

pm http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...o=newpm&u=1053

[bolong]

This is ILE.

ILI "overcome" their "social awkwardness" by being aloof.

[IBTL]

they are INTP.

pm http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...o=newpm&u=1053

INTj

My boyfriend is INTp, and he never comes off as being better than thou in public. In fact, he can hardly project his own voice at a drive-thru speaker. My sister is also INTp, and she's the same way.

[epheme]

My guess is also INTj

[Aylen]

Wow, timing is everything. I was thinking of posting something earlier today but was so drained. I fell asleep and just woke up to this. The universe works in mysterious ways. I won't call it "stalking" though.

I went to a small group today and the topic was healthy relationships and I will make a thread later or tomorrow on that because the info was so good and maybe will be helpful to others. Anyway here is what happened after group. I stopped into 7-11 near my group. It is further from my house but they have the only blend of coffee I really like so I stop there whenever I can. All the regular clerks know me and for some reason they only employ males... They all flirt with me and I lightly flirt back, no big deal. Except for this one guy. He always follows me out to my car and talks to me while I put on my makeup (I am usually running late) and I knew he liked me but I joke around with him.

When he saw me today he said, "oh my god I was scared you'd moved away and I'd neva see ya again".

Me: Nope just busy

Him: I'm happy you still 'round, stop in more ok? (bumps into me while I am at checkout. he was sweeping the floor) sorry.

Me: It's ok see you next time. *laughs* (he walks outside and I know it is to wait for me)

I walk outside and sure enough he is next to my car, waiting.

Him: Yo, I just turned 21 so when can I buy ya a drink?

Me: Damn, now you tell me... You could have just bought me this coffee (I hold up my coffee like some grand gesture, oy I get nervous) *laughs*

Him: You wouldn't go out wit a guy like me, huh? You're busy?

Me: Aww, you are cute, maybe in another life but yeah I'm busy. ( I say this while smiling and trying to lighten things up. I feel kinda bad)

Him: When ya get less busy let me know, huh? Don't stop comin' here. We like to see ya here, huh? It makes the day betta.

Me: Ok. I will stop in more. I will see you next week then.

Him: Good

***edited out my over intellectualizing and family stuff***

I don't know if I handled this right and now I may have to stop getting my favorite coffee to avoid awkwardness or worse being asked out again. I think I set a bad precedent. I could have said I have a bf and ended it but I don't feel I owe anyone my life story and yeah I like the special attention I get there. they open up registers for me and I don't have to wait. When I am running late some of the guys make my coffee while I get ready in the car and bring it to me. I guess I don't think in terms of types here but is an IEI more likely to draw that "stalker" behavior?
I am going to miss my coffee.

Edit: and this is not the first time someone pulled that "I just turned 21" drink thingy with me. I think it is kinda a scam, sorta.

People who get hung up on me, usually, these types:

 

No nice "normal" quirky boys that I know of. Just aggressive "maniacs" for the most part. I wonder if they see me as an "easy" target because I seem nice and I don't like to hurt feelings. Meh, maybe they just want some of my Fe, F/Ni, Foe, Nom, or something.

[Aylen]

they are INTP.

pm http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...o=newpm&u=1053

[Capitalist Pig]

they are INTP.

pm http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...o=newpm&u=1053

fuck you i am none of those things

[Scapegrace]

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

[Narc]

lol.

[JWC3]

This is why everyone should have a slutty friend. Why bother with awkward conversations when you can just have someone take the plunge for you. Plus, if it works out you get to hear them bitch about the relationship and can bask in the correctitude of your avoidance.

TL;DR When life gives you lemons, have someone else squeeze them. You don't need to get your hands dirty to enjoy lemonaid.

[Creepy-male]

Hullo, I'm an IEI and I go to open mics and play music and attend creative writing classes among other things, and everywhere I go I always find the same type of guy and I want to know what kind they are.

These guys have a mild artsy talent (but they always think they are better than they are). They are quirky and socially awkward, nonathletic, and not fashionable. They come off as eager and confident and always try to find a way to talk to me. They are really nice so I don't mind entertaining them because I have a kind of secondhand embarrassment for them, but I also have no interest in actually knowing them or having any kind of relationship.

I'm wondering if they are a delta, maybe EII? Because they also seem to have no regard for social hierarchy and maybe that's why I feel so embarrassed or sensitive towards them??

TELL MEEEEEE WHO YOU AREEEEE

So you have no interest in actually knowing these people or having any kind of relationship, yet you post a thread on a socionics forum, a system based on relationships, asking who these people are...unless you're harboring a deep desire to actually kindle a relationship with this type of person why not just ignore them and move on happily with your life apathetic to their very existence? Why waste anymore energy on them placing them in a neat little category if a) you are able to recognize them and b) they're harmless enough not to make significant maneuvers to avoid them?

[Satan]

So you have no interest in actually knowing these people or having any kind of relationship, yet you post a thread on a socionics forum, a system based on relationships, asking who these people are...unless you're harboring a deep desire to actually kindle a relationship with this type of person why not just ignore them and move on happily with your life apathetic to their very existence? Why waste anymore energy on them placing them in a neat little category if a) you are able to recognize them and b) they're harmless enough not make significant maneuvers to avoid them?

You can't know some people without not knowing other people.

If your open your eyes to the world you will see both darkness and lightness.

[Satan]

Wow, timing is everything. I was thinking of posting something earlier today but was so drained. I fell asleep and just woke up to this. The universe works in mysterious ways. I won't call it "stalking" though.

I went to a small group today and the topic was healthy relationships and I will make a thread later or tomorrow on that because the info was so good and maybe will be helpful to others. Anyway here is what happened after group. I stopped into 7-11 near my group. It is further from my house but they have the only blend of coffee I really like so I stop there whenever I can. All the regular clerks know me and for some reason they only employ males... They all flirt with me and I lightly flirt back, no big deal. Except for this one guy. He always follows me out to my car and talks to me while I put on my makeup (I am usually running late) and I knew he liked me but I joke around with him.

When he saw me today he said, "oh my god I was scared you'd moved away and I'd neva see ya again".

Turn them down early, turn them down often. Don't react. Don't make eye contact, don't engage.

[Creepy-male]

You can't know some people without not knowing other people.

If your open your eyes to the world you will see both darkness and lightness.

Fortune cookie wisdom?

It seems like the former doesn't make much sense -- like it ought to be instead: "You can't know yourself without knowing other people." edit: oh wait, no -- you mean: you can't know what some people are like without the context of knowing what others are like. Got it. edit: Aylen/Refi's clarification makes sense.

I think my point was intended to direct the line of questioning back to the OP with an initial post asking why they are posting in the first place if they have already made up their mind not to know anything about the person or start a relationship with them. Why make the effort to put them in this neat little box called socionics? My response to the OP is actually something along the lines of: why be so superficial in the first place? why are you feeling pity -- deriving from embarrassment at their low social status -- for someone you don't even know or at least won't make the effort to know?

[Reficulris]

Fortune cookie wisdom?

It seems like the former doesn't make much sense -- like it ought to be instead: "You can't know yourself without knowing other people."

I think my point was intended to direct the line of questioning back to the OP with an initial post asking why they are posting in the first place if they have already made up their mind not to know anything about the person or start a relationship with them. My response to the OP is actually something along the lines of: why be so superficial in the first place? why are you feeling pity -- deriving from embarrassment at their low social status -- for someone you don't even know?

I think he meant something along the lines "some people just hang around other people you might want to hang around with" not some philosophical stated self help afirmation.

Well, tbh, ignoring people isn't always an option. Maybe there is value for the OP for understanding them (for instance other people get mad if he/she ignores them) Maybe the OP just wants to vent his/her annoyance (one of the functions of this forum).

If you asked everyone "why are you posting this shit, that's sooo superficial" you'll get no good answers for most posts either...
Answering the question might be yield better results


returning to the topic at hand; could be LII's yes. I don't see ILE in the description. ILI neither, they'd stand in the corner and chuckle evily instead!

[Aylen]

Heh, I took what merc said to mean, if you socialize in certain groups you may have to interact with some people superficially even if they aren't who you typically choose as friends. It is easier for me since I have nothing invested in 7-11 but a cup of coffee. It would be worse if it was someone in my group following me around. Fortunately the group is mostly women.

Edit: Ref beat me to it. Yeah, like that.

[Creepy-male]

I think he meant something along the lines "some people just hang around other people you might want to hang around with" not some philosophical stated self help afirmation.

Well, tbh, ignoring people isn't always an option. Maybe there is value for the OP for understanding them (for instance other people get mad if he/she ignores them) Maybe the OP just wants to vent his/her annoyance (one of the functions of this forum).

If you asked everyone "why are you posting this shit, that's sooo superficial" you'll get no good answers for most posts either...
Answering the question might be yield better results


returning to the topic at hand; could be LII's yes. I don't see ILE in the description. ILI neither, they'd stand in the corner and chuckle evily instead!

So the reason for this thread is to ask if there could possibly be cool people hanging out with these "pathetic imbeciles" so that their presence is more tolerable? wtf edit: Aylen's clarification makes sense.

Yeah, I guessed that it was probably a venting thing. True, I recognize the desire of the OP to know more about these people -- but as apparent in what I've pointed out it's layered through their own conflicting views. In this case, I'm curious whether or not it's just the OPs prejudgments about these people that get in the way of understanding them.

[Reficulris]

I'm curious whether or not it's just the OPs prejudgments about these people that get in the way of understanding them.

Oh, i'm quite certain it is

[ThisIsKade]

Wow this has gotten a lot more attention than I expected haha.

Honestly, maybe I am superficial, but I think the main reason I am curious about this type is because I run in to them often and I would like to understand them better so I know how to respond to them and make things less awkward. I don't like constantly having to "turn people down", I just want to hang out, and I feel like I'm pretty tolerant and accepting of most types. I like knowing a lot of different kinds of people.

The problem is I can be pretty awkward and in a shell, especially if I can sense that someone would have a crush on me. I'm married, and I don't feel the need to always explain my life to people. It should be possible to have a friendly interaction without anything being assumed. I would probably have no problem befriending this type if it were to be just friends, and I wouldn't have to worry about them going home, thinking that just because I was friendly to them that more was going on.

I appreciated @Alyen 's response because it seems to be the same kind of senario. This type doesn't act "better than thou." If anything, they are sweet, over confident and expecting a date.

I hope this helps with all those questions ><

[Creepy-male]

Wow this has gotten a lot more attention than I expected haha.

Honestly, maybe I am superficial, but I think the main reason I am curious about this type is because I run in to them often and I would like to understand them better so I know how to respond to them and make things less awkward. I don't like constantly having to "turn people down", I just want to hang out, and I feel like I'm pretty tolerant and accepting of most types. I like knowing a lot of different kinds of people.

The problem is I can be pretty awkward and in a shell, especially if I can sense that someone would have a crush on me. I'm married, and I don't feel the need to always explain my life to people. It should be possible to have a friendly interaction without anything being assumed. I would probably have no problem befriending this type if it were to be just friends, and I wouldn't have to worry about them going home, thinking that just because I was friendly to them that more was going on.

I appreciated @Alyen 's response because it seems to be the same kind of senario. This type doesn't act "better than thou." If anything, they are sweet, over confident and expecting a date.

I hope this helps with all those questions ><

Now you want to be friends with them, despite your embarrassment to be around them? Only on your terms, that is. Your "assumption-less" approach to relationships is something to marvel at. Your ideals are nice in their intention, however that's not how things work all the time. To get to the point of your OP: make your intentions clear and to the point. Otherwise you will be perceived as leading them on -- an attention-seeking behavior.

[Aylen]

@McBain

Is this a trigger for you personally or are you devil's advocate?

[SyrupDeGem]

Turn them down early, turn them down often. Don't react. Don't make eye contact, don't engage.

Lol at military level disengagement, sheesh they must be hardcore to call in the swats.

[Satan]

Lol at military level disengagement, sheesh they must be hardcore to call in the swats.

It's the pragmatic approach.

[Creepy-male]

@McBain

Is this a trigger for you personally or are you devil's advocate?

Both and neither. Going for the killlllll.

[Aylen]

Some think they're kings but I'm no peasant girl...sound advice...stay under the radar, whenever possible...avoid eye contact.

[Satan]

Some think they're kings but I'm no peasant girl...sound advice...stay under the radar, whenever possible...avoid eye contact.

http://www.chicagoreader.com/Bleader...id-eye-contact

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

so this thread is about ppl who stalk ieis and not iei stalkers right =//
thought ieis would seem interesting for once

[Aylen]

stealth goes undetected....

[darya]

IEI's can have stalker tandencies as well, we're just usually socially savy enough to conceal them.

These guys sound as INTj's. INTp's I know come off as more aloof and above mating rituals.

[darya]

oh, and I wanted to add that there's definitely something about IEI's that attracts a wide arsenal of stalkers and weirdos (NOT synonymous with LII's and ILI's). It's probably the prey appearence. That's why a bitchface is obligatory for every IEI.

[Satan]

oh, and I wanted to add that there's definitely something about IEI's that attracts a wide arsenal of stalkers and weirdos (NOT synonymous with LII's and ILI's). It's probably the prey appearence. That's why a bitchface is obligatory for every IEI.

what's with all these random iei's popping up.

[darya]

I'm not so sure who's stalking who

[darya]

I was joking. I almost always am

[Aylen]

what's with all these random iei's popping up.

 

Beautiful isn't it...like flowers blooming in spring. Every time you cut one down, two "spring" up in it's place...

 

Take us to your SLEader!

No really, we are gathering in force because it is so

 

heh, see what I did here? I know you love Eminem. Please don't hurt me!

 

Nothing! They extinguish each other!

Ya'll don't find me pun-neh?

Ides of March...releasing a surge of energy...Thanks Merc for this opportunity to spew some nonsense. I feel better now. It is Saturday...My favorite day, since I never feel like I have to be ready to do something at a moment's notice. I just chill.



Changes....

 

Time for closure and new beginnings

 

'Cause I just "killed"!

Man, tough crowd!


[I never take myself too serious]

[Pookie]

what's with all these random iei's popping up.

They relate to the thread title.

[sweetgingerpeach]

Hey just wanted to jump in an say that I know @ThisIsKade irl, and I've been there for at least one of the times this has happened. I don't have a very clear image what the INTj personality profile, so I'm not ruling that out, but I feel like these kinds of people probably aren't Alphas. I know the quadras often lump four types into one giant stereotype, but these kinds of "stalkers" come off as like....serious. They give me a Delta vibe perhaps?

They usually dress in unconventional ways, a very distinct style kind of like ENTps, but it doesn't look...right...or something. Like they're trying too hard or trying to fit some persona. They are very serious about whatever they are into (artsy stuff??) and don't seem like the kinds of people who can admit that they aren't the best at something or laugh at their faults. This is probably why they can come off as vulnerable, and it's awkward because you're not sure if you can joke with them or not :/ Like it could break their soul if you teased them (in a friendly bantering way) about their off-beat clothing choices or their performance.....like it's an area you just can't go to.

It's like everyone else knows something that they don't, and no one has the heart to break it to them. Like telling a kid that Santa Claus isn't real.

[aisa]

@sweetgingerpeach I've known an unhealthy LII who'd fit the above description, when he hit a rough patch in life he as if "lost" his "alpha-ness" and turned into this oversensitive serious person... and got really "set" on finding himself "another half". I can't quite describe it, but the OP plus your above post describe his behaviour quite well... I'm not saying that those are definitely LIIs that @ThisIsKade is meeting, but I wouldn't rule that out...

[Olduvai]

Hullo, I'm an IEI and I go to open mics and play music and attend creative writing classes among other things, and everywhere I go I always find the same type of guy and I want to know what kind they are.

These guys have a mild artsy talent (but they always think they are better than they are). They are quirky and socially awkward, nonathletic, and not fashionable. They come off as eager and confident and always try to find a way to talk to me. They are really nice so I don't mind entertaining them because I have a kind of secondhand embarrassment for them, but I also have no interest in actually knowing them or having any kind of relationship.

I'm wondering if they are a delta, maybe EII? Because they also seem to have no regard for social hierarchy and maybe that's why I feel so embarrassed or sensitive towards them??

TELL MEEEEEE WHO YOU AREEEEE

probably IEE

[Aylen]

probably IEE