New member confused about his type
Hey everyone!
I joined up on the forums because I've been trying to type myself for quite a while now, and I've been trying several MBTI test, several times. I know I'm somewhere... ISFJ/SEI'ish, I think, but I also keep getting mixed signals when I do other tests, like getting ENTP, or SEE.
So I thought I'd ask if you guys could help out with typing me? I keep second-guessing my results, and my answers as well, and I'm just so dang confused about it all. Like sometimes I think I'm just... a hair's width between Extraverted and Introverted.
Here's the questionnaire I found here on the board, I'll try to answer as truthfully as I can.
1. What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty is something really subjective, and while I know that there are certain standards for it, logically I also know that they differ from person to person. I think beauty is in something your eyes get stuck on, a person, object or scene, and it stays in your mind. Love can be a lot of different things too, but for me Love is knowing that you belong together. It could be a family love too, like I know that even if I don't see my parents for a long time, we'll always be connected, and that's comforting. I love my wife and can't imagine being without her, even though we're not constantly doing things together.
2. What are your most important values?
A strong sense of right and wrong, duty, a desire to do as good as you can and loyalty. I value people who don't rock the boat or take too much space in a negative way, but I think it's still good to express yourself. But honestly FAIRNESS is probably what I value the most. If a kid gets blamed for something because he's a general troublemaker, that's terrible and it bothers me a lot. I always want to give people a second chance.
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I don't believe in God as the Abraham religions describe Him, but I do feel that there's something, some kind of life force, that connects us. I like the idea of the clockmaker, someone who just kicked things into gear, but who doesn't have a personal investment in every little thing. It's very important to me that people find their own belief, not someone else's. To me, most negative things I connotate with religion is people who buy into a dogma they don't reflect on.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I have a strange relationship with war and armies. I wanted to join the army, and still sort of do, because I wanted to learn the skills taught, and be able to defend the people of my country or its allies if something would happen. On the other hand, I also don't want our country to have a standing army, because I feel it would send a strong message and because war is the failure of our civilizations to compromise.
Power, to me, is something situational, and something you have to be responsible with. Everyone has different degrees of it, but it's universal. We all have power over someone or something, at the very least ourselves. Depriving someone of their power over themselves is one of the worst things you can do.
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I tend to philosophize a lot about pedagogics, politics, ideals, the future. I also have a tendency to get very invested in new things quickly, so that's usually something I tend to talk to. I'm very interested in the concept of good and evil, and moral grayness, and I like to attack the idea that there are good and bad people, sometimes playing the devil's advocate. It's my sincerest belief that no one considers themselves evil or bad, but rather have a set of values that allows them to commit dark deeds as a sacrifice for the greater good.
Generally my interests are about making life better for myself and other people, mostly from a social perspective. I also like video games, movies and tv-series who explore these themes.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I'm not much for working out because I am bad at pacing myself. I lack the patience to train myself in a good way and often have to stop from over-exerting myself or otherwise getting hurt. I would like to have a fit body, and I sometimes feel bad about the way I look ('though I am by no means overweight), but I prioritize my time differently. I guess exercise's long-term goal just doesn't come fast enough for me.
I do love running though and it's my preferred form of exercise.
7. What do you think of daily chores?
I think they should be shared equally, but I'm bad at considering what is and what isn't. Generally I don't consider chores very important, although sometimes I get into a fit and starts cleaning like a maniac. I can never predict when that happens however.
I don't like the idea of doing them, but when I actually am they're not that bad.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I like everything and anything that explores the human psyche, both the good and the bad, especially the bad. I'm a big fan of A Song of Ice and Fire, although my interest has waned a bit, and I'm more of a modern thriller/horror kind of person than fantasy enthusiast. I like reading about alternative futures and dystopias like 1984 or The Iron Heel. I also enjoy Fight Club a lot, because I think it explores themes of traditional masculinity versus the "lack of male role models" in our lives. I am by no means a fighter for men's rights, I consider myself a third wave feminist and want equal rights for all, everywhere. As a white man, I know it will lead to my standards of living possibly being lowered a bit, but I consider it a trivial thing next to the unfairness so many people experience in their daily lives (sorry I went off on a bit of a tangent here.)
I like the Lies of Locke Lamora as well, and I'm also a huge fan of the Discworld series because of the satire. Satire in general appeal a lot to me.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I cry when I witness suffering or unfairness. I cry when I miss my wife, or when I'm feeling inadequate. Working as a teacher has had me crying quite a few times, because I feel like I am not able to live up to the mental image of the "Perfect Teacher" that I envision. I strive to be compassionate, but sometimes feel like it's just superficial, and that makes me worries and sad.
I cry a lot during movies and series and family relationships, especially between fathers and their children, are guaranteed to make me tear up. I love crying, it's very cathartic and helps me deal with stress and emotions.
I smile a lot when I see people happy and enjoying themselves, especially children. Couples in love make me smile, and little things in life, like a sunset over the water, or snow falling on my face, makes me happy. I like rain too, it's very releasing.
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
Among my colleagues, most of them, and in the political party where I'm active. I grew up in a home that wasn't very intellectually focused and I don't feel like my interests worked well with my family (excluding my dad, my parents are divorced). I feel at home at home too, and I like staying home on my free time because I have access to my computer. I'm not going to lie, it's very important to me, because I use it for so much.
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I tend to have excruciatingly high standards on people and myself, something that can be stressful to others (especially my students). On the other hand, I don't like to get angry, and it's only when people don't ask for help or seem interested in improving that I get frustrated. I can also sometimes be a bit callous in how I group people, or boil down their behaviour to a few defining (often negative) traits.
I think what I dislike the least is that I can't take criticism very well. If someone criticizes my work, or even the students I'm a mentor of, I get defensive and snappy, and I feel like I can often lash back with so much more than I do. I'm a bit of an asshole who tends to focus on people's flaws a lot when I don't like them. I never speak of it of course, but I'm always thinking it, and I think that's a terrible side that I should try to get rid of.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I have a way with words, and explaining so that things make sense. I'm charismatic, funny and intelligent, which I think people value in me a lot. I give insightful opinions on why things might have gone wrong without focusing too much on it having gone wrong, which I think helps people relax and observe it as well.
I'm a multi-tasker and a renaissance guy, I like to do a lot of things, 'though usually not for very long. So I've been doing everything from drawing to writing to sculpting to programming to learning new languages, etc. etc. etc.
I think I usually bring out the best in people...
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
To keep me in check and make sure I do my work. Gently remind me every now and then. I miss someone who can make demands and handle me getting pissy about it (I'll do the work anyway).
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
I usually don't. I have so many interests that I bounce between them. I guess I sometimes get frustrated if things don't move along as fast as I would want them (and I can't drop it), to me it's got to happen now and by my decision, I can't accept things taking their time... usually.
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I dislike people who boss others around, who can't see when they've done a mistake and can't shut up about their problems.
I feel like I have a good sense of people whom I like to be with, and consequently are with, and those who I feel will irritate me (or I them) and therefore leave alone. I'm a bit calculating when it comes to making friends, but I've never been alone at a new place for long, I generally pick out the people I know I'll get along with and I stick by them.
People who are constantly talking about how difficult something is, and then not doing anything about it, bother me immensely and I sometimes get the urge to just slap them over the head. Either fix it or go somewhere else where it won't bother you (or me). Of course, if it's someone I feel has a legitimate cause to complain then I'm more understanding... to a point. I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite though, 'though I generally try to talk about fun and interesting things.
I get along well with people who share my work ethics and morality, people who value being a professional and doing a good job. I also like the creative types who are also down to earth, I like to discuss the workings of things with others, but it's much more interesting to hear about the political development of the 16th century from a friend (and have a conversation about it), than reading in a book, even if he gets some details wrong. I'm very bad at learning from books.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I have a pretty active libido and it bothers me a bit because my wife isn't nearly as into it as I am. I often have to deal with it alone which I feel a bit bad about, but I prefer it that she's the one to initiate, I don't want to be a bother. I used to roleplay stuff online that was a bit out there, but I talked it over with my wife and decided I really shouldn't anymore (she didn't think it was that big of a deal though). I value loyalty, so I wouldn't ever consider having an affair, but I sometimes wish we would experiment a bit more, maybe with one or two more people involved?
I want a partner who enjoys the sex, the more into it they are, the more I'm into it.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Right and wrong. It's very important to me that my child would learn how to treat others and want to be treated. I would want them to talk to me often and I would do my best to listen and have discussions with them about life and stuff. I don't know that much about this question because right now I'm not sure about having kids. I think a few more years of teaching other people's children might be good for me before we consider having a child.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Inwardly I feel threatened, and also ashamed that I might be wrong about it. I'm scared of being wrong and having a narrow-minded belief, and if my friend, whose opinion I do value a lot, thinks I'm wrong then maybe I am. Outwards I might get flustered and try to defend it, but I'm bad at thinking up arguments for it (I'm getting better), but eventually I think I will concede. I might just drop it, of course, if I still hold that I'm right, in which case I really don't want to continue arguing because I don't think either of us are going to change our mind. I dislike prolonged arguing when I can tell that both parties are very set in their beliefs.
I'm very bad at being analytical about it.
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I love society and humanity, but I also worry about it. To me, it's scary that there are so many different opinions on things in life, because it always makes me question myself. Am I right? How? Why? Why not?
I generally see people as souls trying to fulfill themselves, some people do it by helping others, some by helping themselves. I generally don't dislike people for their actions unless they threaten or hurt others, especially the weak and the poor, and I feel like as a race we are constantly evolving. I have great faith in the Internet and the kind of revolutionizing social change it's bringing with it.
A prevalent social problem is our inability to understand each other. Our pride in sticking to our guns and fear of admitting fault (and judging those who do). I believe the first step to solving something is to accept that you aren't in the right, to find a compromise. We are very bad at doing that.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I spoke about this before, but essentially I filter people I know I cannot get along with. It's a subconscious habit and I try not to do it rudely, I just don't express any interest in people like that. I have no trouble socializing with them, but if they're the type that provoke me I'm bad at hiding my feelings.
I am a jokey kind of person around my friend and always the mood setter. It's important to me that I'm acknowledged, and most my friends respect me, which I'm happy about. I try to respect them too, and while I had a very rough, almost elitistic attitude during my teens, I'd like to think I've mellowed out (It has to do with the high standards I think). I can sometimes be a bit cruel, but I always try to carefully measure how cruel I am, I dislike making other people sad or hurting them, so I usually only act like this around people whom I know can take it.
21. How do you behave around strangers?
Politely and trying to bring up a conversation if I have to. I generally aren't on the lookout for more friends, and I'm bad at small talk unless we have common interests. I try to be professional in my job, and pleasant in how I talk and act, because it's important to me to give those impressions. I guess I have a bit of a complex for coming from a worker family, I often feel that I'm lacking in some knowledge or social grace that my colleagues or academic peers might be savvy in.
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Wow! That took longer than I thought! I hope any of you can help me, because I'd be darned if I can figure it out... 'though I am leaning towards ISFJ still.
Thanks!
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. I used to accept invitations then think of ways to get out of it before I learned to say no. It seems some extroverts can get quite aggressive when you break plans. I have been bitched at for hours for not going shopping with an extrovert. Like shopping is so important I ruined their day. I ask why can't they just go alone if it is that important. I prefer to clothes shop alone anyway, at my own pace.