It's gonna be long - one of the things that annoys ILIs - they're much more efficent in speech/writing, whereas I also go roundabout...
Originally Posted by Phantom Shadow
I enjoy hanging out with an ILI friend and my Gamma parents, but working together probably wouldn't be too good of an idea.
Too much goofing around, endless pranks and jokes at inappropriate times.
yeah, ime Gammas tend to perceive Alphas as people who should finally grow up
, while Alphas consider Gammas too stiff
That doesn't change the fact that we sometimes goof around and some of the funniest exchanges are between myself and ILI when we twist and turn word games.
Unwillingness to burn bridges with those that are abusive, disrespectful, manipulative, and deceitful.
This doesn't happen with people I don't care about. But when smn somehow managed to become close to me it is really difficult for me to cut them out of my life when I realise who they really are
. And the period of wishful thinking that "maybe I am wrong", "maybe they didn't really mean it", "maybe this was just a misunderstanding" is way too long tbh. The ILIs I know manage to shorten this period - and actually sometimes helped me realise that I've really done everything "right" and it's "out of my hands" and "time to let go".
Every time that someone who pretended to be friend proves not being one is heartbreaking for me and that's why it lasts so long. It's all or nothing, so when I do open up it really is all out and hurts very much to cut out someone from my life.
(Having access to these people support and resources are more important than protecting allies and themselves.)
funnily enough this is sth I observed in both some Gammas and some Alphas and didn't like this behaviour/motivation in neither of the quadras
Unwilling to stand up for themselves and those they care about. Backing down when the situation get too tense.
back down when it comes to myself and I feel like it's not worth it, this person means nothing to me anyway and we're not hanging around together.
Although I won't sit silent altogether but I'm just weighing options whether I care enough to act.
I'm also sometimes too quicktempered tbh so the above attitude is sth I had to learn, it didn't come naturally.
When it comes to my friends/family - it's a very very bad idea to try and hurt/abuse them. I might back down when it comes to just me being hurt. When smn's nasty towards those dear to me I lash out, no backing down.
Too forgiving and trusting of those who purposeful harmed them or their comrades.
To those who hurt me - sometimes yes, less and less as years go by. To those that hurt my close ones - nope. Only
if those who were hurt already forgave smn and are actually asking me to let it go as they aren't bothered anymore and neither should I.
A general lack of and commitment to their principles, philosophies, and ideologies.
I'm firm on my beliefs. I do change my mind sometimes but only when it's well thought through. I'm probably one of the people most set on my values out the people I know.
An inability to consistently meet goals, objectives, and deadlines; easily distracted and often unproductive with excessive procrastination.
Guilty of procrastination and sometimes missing deadlines. Nevertheless I was praised for productiveness quite a few times. I'll sit through the night to ulfill a promise if needed.
It also depends on the goal/objective. I have a strong need to work in field of interest or at least for my work to have a visible effect and make some
sense to me, then I get immersed in it. If it's just bureaucracy and a mess I'm less likely to be productive.
Overly concerned with personal pleasures, and enjoyment; hedonistic behaviors and tendencies.
What does it mean overly? Tbh this is very subjective and I can understand that someone's passion is strongly linked with their work, but I'm also ok with smn enjoying other things.
I want to "live", "taste and feel life" and not just go to work, earn money, go home, relax, spend money on vacation and again and again... I'm perfectly ok with some of my friends living this way and accept it, funnily enough some of them didn't perceive the way I live my life "the right way". I quite frankly don't understand the valuation. Whatever doesn't hurt other people and makes you happy - can be your way of life. I'd rather have more freedom...
Quick to quit or abandon commitments and responsibilities if they become too stressful, or inconvenient. Or if something more interesting and new appears.
It depends on the general situation. I tend to stay too long in a situation that's unhealthy because I feel compelled to fulfill commitments. With time I learned that it's sometimes just not worth it - but I'm talking about bullying and mobbing, not just regular "life".
Very dependent on external displays of emotion to assess mood, and motives.
Probably true, difficult for me to assess this in myself.
Alpha XSFx can be very emotionally demanding of those around them.
When unhealthy yes - I've seen it some people and hated it as much as everyone else did. Worse I've seen was in extroverted grandparent and a toxic so-called "friend".
Admittedly when under heavy stres that probably applies to me too. That's a part of why I want to live my life "my way" as I don't want to be under heavy stress in hostile environments.
Difficulty addressing serious, grim, sensitive contraversial, taboo, and obscene topic in mature, respectful manner.
I don't think this applies to me. But I think it has a lot to do with maturity of both parties and respecting different "modes of communication" - meaning the ability to listen to what
another person is sayin, not necessarily how
- which seems to me to be the most difficult part of Gamma-Alpha communication.