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Thread: Am I really Fe-valuing?

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    Default Am I really Fe-valuing?

    Points for Fe:

    -I don't take the idea of 'rapport' or the inherent distance between individuals seriously and generally don't seem mesh well with people who value it...I view the development of relationships as fluid and spontaneous. If someone warms up to me from the get-go, I don't really find it uncomfortable..I'm usually receptive towards it.

    -Unless I'm stressed out or particularly angry at the world, I avoid placing harsh judgment on others, even when they say things that I might disagree with from an ethical standpoint...as long as it's funny, I can sort of look past it and accept that we have different views on things.

    -When interacting with someone, I tend to notice the level of receptivity/mirroring the person is physically showing..in fact, I'm actually pretty sensitive to it and can occasionally misinterpret Gamma/Delta seriousness.


    Points against Fe:

    -I don't really do grand displays of emotion or gushiness, at all...I smile and laugh genuinely when talking to people, but I've never been the type to 'let loose' or 'amp people up', nor do I consider myself responsible for making sure everyone in a group is having fun. My role within a group is one of receptivity, as opposed to being someone who consistently shows initiative.

    -I can find it annoying when my Sei-Fe mom tries to approach me with excessively-merry Fe when I'm having a bad day...and kind of wish that she didn't view it as her responsibility to lift my mood in such moments.

    -I see myself as an 'individual' as opposed to an indistinguishable member of a social group..in other words, I tend to experience myself as inherently separate from whatever's going on around me. I'm also able to maintain a sense of distance between my own views/interests/values, and those of the collective, even if I don't consciously expressing them..although admittedly, they seem to lose their level of importance once I'm in the presence of friends. These are mainly things I mull over in private.

    -I can get a bit worked up over Fi-ish ethical issues.

    -I avoid making quick judgments about people based on Fe-ish impressions (like "he's weird", "what a downer", "he never talks", etc.)

    -I'm interested in personal growth, introspection, and authenticity...although again, these aren't values that I force on others, but rather something that gives me a sense of clarity and enriches my own experience of life.
    Last edited by suedehead; 03-04-2014 at 05:06 PM.

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    The Soul Happy-er JWC3's Avatar
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    What other types are you considering?
    Easy Day

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    Quote Originally Posted by JWC3 View Post
    What other types are you considering?
    Maybe ESI, or IEE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    Maybe ESI, or IEE.
    Why the sudden consideration?
    Easy Day

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    Quote Originally Posted by JWC3 View Post
    Why the sudden consideration?
    The way some describe Fe-ego's seems to imply that we're supposed to be gushing all over the place...and I'm frankly not all that concerned with the social-world.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    Points against Fe:

    -I don't really do grand displays of emotion, at all...I smile and laugh genuinely when talking to people, but I've never been the type to 'let loose' or 'amp people up', nor do I consider myself responsible for making sure everyone in a group is having fun. My role within a group is one of receptivity, as opposed to being someone who consistently shows initiative.

    -I can find it annoying when my Sei-Fe mom tries to approach me with excessively-merry Fe when I'm having a bad day...and kind of wish that she didn't view it as her responsibility to lift my mood.

    -I see myself as an 'individual' as opposed to an indistinguishable member of a social group..in other words, I tend to experience myself as inherently separate from whatever's going on around me. I'm also able to maintain a sense of distance between my own views/interests/values, and those of the collective, even if I don't consciously expressing them..although admittedly, they seem to lose their level of importance once I'm in the presence of friends. These are mainly things I mull over in private.

    -I can get a bit worked up over Fi-ish ethical issues.
    all of this is possible with the combination of "inert" subtype (more receptive/accepting than engaging) + sx/sp (the 'brooding loner' aka 'one man storm' stacking) + Fe

    what kind of "Fi-issues" do you mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    all of this is possible under combination of "inert" subtype (more receptive/accepting than engaging) + sx/sp (the 'brooding loner' aka 'one man storm' stacking) + Fe

    what kind of "Fi-issues" do you mean?
    I often find myself being concerned with 'doing the right thing'...and can be overly conscientious for this reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I often find myself being concerned with 'doing the right thing'..I also empathize quite easily.
    and how does this contrast with Fe?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    The way some describe Fe-ego's seems to imply that we're supposed to be gushing all over the place...and I'm frankly not all that concerned with the social-world.
    That does seem sorta too active. Too verby. I prefer to think of the ego functions as more of a focus than as activities.
    Easy Day

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    Points for Fe:

    -I don't take the idea of 'rapport' or the inherent distance between individuals seriously...I view the development of relationships as fluid. If someone warms up to me from the get-go, I don't really find it uncomfortable..I'm usually receptive towards it.

    -Unless I'm stressed out or particularly angry at the world, I avoid placing harsh judgment on others, even when they say things that I might disagree with from an ethical standpoint...as long as it's funny, I can sort of look past it and accept that we have different views on things.


    Points against Fe:

    -I don't really do grand displays of emotion or gushiness, at all...I smile and laugh genuinely when talking to people, but I've never been the type to 'let loose' or 'amp people up', nor do I consider myself responsible for making sure everyone in a group is having fun. My role within a group is one of receptivity, as opposed to being someone who consistently shows initiative.

    -I can find it annoying when my Sei-Fe mom tries to approach me with excessively-merry Fe when I'm having a bad day...and kind of wish that she didn't view it as her responsibility to lift my mood.

    -I see myself as an 'individual' as opposed to an indistinguishable member of a social group..in other words, I tend to experience myself as inherently separate from whatever's going on around me. I'm also able to maintain a sense of distance between my own views/interests/values, and those of the collective, even if I don't consciously expressing them..although admittedly, they seem to lose their level of importance once I'm in the presence of friends. These are mainly things I mull over in private.

    -I can get a bit worked up over Fi-ish ethical issues.

    -I avoid making quick judgments about people based on Fe-ish impressions (like "he's weird", "what a downer", "he never talks", etc.)

    It's such a shame that these Fe stereotypes were given authority in the first place, left to fester, and sew doubt in newcomers to the theory.

    I think you'll find a ton of Fe valuers relating to the subdued, self-conscious, analytical and more considerate profile you just described.
    Last edited by xerx; 03-04-2014 at 05:32 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    and how does this contrast with Fe?
    I get the impression that Fe views emotion in terms of it's objective manifestations and how it contributes to social cohesion, whereas I feel I'm usually aware of the depth that's inherent to it as it relates to the individual experience...For example, I'm likely to feel bad for the one person that's singled out or viewed as burdensome by the group for some social reason, even if it helps maintain group cohesion...I won't make a scene out of it or look down on everyone else for doing it, but I can still feel for them (unless it's obvious that they did something malicious or uncalled for).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I get the impression that Fe views emotion in terms of it's objective manifestations and how it contributes to social cohesion, whereas I feel I'm usually aware of the depth that's inherent to it as it relates to the individual experience...For example, I'm likely to feel bad for the one person that's singled out or viewed as burdensome by the group, even if it helps maintain group cohesion...I won't make a scene out of it or look down on everyone else for doing it, but I can still feel for them (unless it's obvious that they did something malicious or uncalled for).
    I've to admit..I'm pretty bad about making a scene if I think people are being uncalled for dicks. I'm probably too verbal about it..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I get the impression that Fe views emotion in terms of it's objective manifestations and how it contributes to social cohesion, whereas I feel I'm usually aware of the depth that's inherent to it as it relates to the individual experience...For example, I'm likely to feel bad for the one person who's rejected or viewed as burdensome by the group, even if it helps maintain group cohesion...I won't make a scene out of it or look down on everyone else for it, but I can still feel for them.
    this doesn't distinguish Fi from Fe imo, here's an example from this forum:
    there was a poster here by the name of tcaud who was generally considered to be loony by many people, and at some point he started making some lewd remarks towards a female member and was banned shortly after - one of his defenders was rat who is typed as IEI by many (Fe user) - he felt for the guy whom he saw being ostracized from the group, while there were a couple of Fi valuing people who were very adamant about driving him out of this forum (link to the thread)
    so as you can see this isn't a trait of Fi

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    I've to admit..I'm pretty bad about making a scene if I think people are being uncalled for dicks. I'm probably too verbal about it..
    I guess this is one of the things that distinguishes me from an SEE friend I used to have in high school - she was pretty much always willing to make a scene over ethical issues, whereas I'd always be left wondering why she couldn't just let it go...

    I definitely experienced her outbursts/quarrels as unnecessarily disruptive..although she's defended me a few times, so I can't really complain.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    Points for Fe:


    Points against Fe:
    Fe:
    Existence in the world of emotions
    Perception and evaluation of the world through emotion.
    The ability to distinguish positive and negative emotions, their shades, the desire for positive emotions, good mood.
    Existence in emotional states, feelings of joy or sorrow, drama or comedy.
    Enthusiasm, impressionability, emotional comfort.
    Perception of sounds as the characteristics of different emotional states and intensity of processes.

    Fi:

    Existence among the feelings, attitudes, likes and dislikes.
    Perception of the environment through the feelings that it causes.
    Ability to discern relationships and capture their shades.
    Ability to impose different "love-hate" relationship, sympathy, antipathy, dislike, location, admiration, etc.

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    In socionics black ethics (Fe) is called "the ethics of emotions." It is easiest to determine whether Fe is a strong function in person if you watch how he shows his emotions. However, emotion and Fe are different. All people have emotions (at the same time Fe may not be in someone's Ego). Also, normally, term 'emotional person' is commonly referred to sensitive people, and this fact has NOTHING to do with Fe. In socionics "sensitivity" is rather intuitive characterization. Fe in the structure of sociotype essentially is responsible for making unified and understandable (emotional) evaluations without words. If Fi is responsible for setting their own personal, individual, special relationship to the different objects of the world, Fe forms the general attitude of everything obvious.

    Such judgments (or evaluation) of situation as "Class!", "Super!", "Sucks!", "Horror!" and the likes, are essentially Fe (these phrase don't have any meaning really, but we immediately understand the assessment of what is happening).Mobility of the emotional life is the distinguishing feature of Fe. Fe person very easily makes emotional judgments and is not shy about stating them. Fe is a public function: acting, ability to attract the audience's attention and hold it, the ability to impose a lot of emotions, inspire, generate passions and moods - all that is a lot easier for a Fe person than any other sociotype. and so on...

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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    this doesn't distinguish Fi from Fe imo, here's an example from this forum:
    there was a poster here by the name of tcaud who was generally considered to be loony by many people, and at some point he started making some lewd remarks towards a female member and was banned shortly after - one of his defenders was rat who is typed as IEI by many (Fe user) - he felt for the guy whom he saw being ostracized from the group, while there were a couple of Fi valuing people who were very adamant about driving him out of this forum (link to the thread)
    so as you can see this isn't a trait of Fi

    i can't remember what he said, but he just seemed boring to me. so are fi's the ones that like to go on witch hunts finding someone to blame?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    The way some describe Fe-ego's seems to imply that we're supposed to be gushing all over the place...and I'm frankly not all that concerned with the social-world.
    Learn to gush. You never know, it might get you places.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I get the impression that Fe views emotion in terms of it's objective manifestations and how it contributes to social cohesion, whereas I feel I'm usually aware of the depth that's inherent to it as it relates to the individual experience...For example, I'm likely to feel bad for the one person that's singled out or viewed as burdensome by the group for some social reason, even if it helps maintain group cohesion...I won't make a scene out of it or look down on everyone else for doing it, but I can still feel for them (unless it's obvious that they did something malicious or uncalled for).
    I find it hard to read what you wrote but "..For example, I'm likely to feel bad for the one person that's singled out or viewed as burdensome" is something I can identify with.

    I think to form group cohesion sometimes you need to look at what is disrupting a group, and even that out.

    If everyone is wearing black except one person wearing yellow, then the person wearing yellow should wear black, for instance, in a really superficial way...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I often find myself being concerned with 'doing the right thing'...and can be overly conscientious for this reason.
    What is right? What is wrong?

    If someone wants to die, is it okay to kill them?

    If someone wants to hurt themselves should you let them?

    In a way everyone needs to learn to fend for themselves. A loose grip can help people, but a tight grip will suffocate people.

    Doing "the right thing" is a complicated thing. And most people fuck it up. So make sure it's the right thing for them, or for something greater than yourself.

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    I can wear black for a little while but my preference...most likely, I'll be wearing pink or red.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
     



    I can wear black for a little while but my preference...most likely, I'll be wearing pink or red.
    like this?



    i think girls can get away with wearing other colours more:


    imagine if one of those guys was wearing yellow.

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    awww, I'm a sucker for cute babies. I just don't want to have to be left alone with them. My taste in red and pink is a little more adult though.

    Re: The guys wearing yellow

    would not work...no way.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    awww, I'm a sucker for cute babies. I just don't want to have to be left alone with them. My taste in red and pink is a little more adult though.

    Re: The guys wearing yellow would not work...no way.
    it's really hard to find pictures of normal people on the internet. i have a friend who used to wear red sometimes. i thought it was attention whoring myself. not that i have a problem with that.

    actually i've worn a red shirt in the past. i normally go towards blue/black/white myself though.

    i gave up search google images for red shirts, ... but found:

    http://www.execshirts.com/dress-shirts/SILDKRE.htm which don't look too bad. although i'm not sure if it's dark or vibrant enough.

    this is better:

    http://www.mensfashionforless.com/dark-red-shirt.html

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    meh, my ability to quote anyone's posts has mysteriously stopped.

    The trick to red is not to wear too much. You got me on the yellow. I can't see many men pulling it off.

     

    Variations of the Color Yellow


    Light Clear Yellow: This color helps to clear the mind, making it open and alert.


    Lemon Yellow: Lemon yellow promotes self-reliance and a need for an orderly life. This yellow increases our sensitivity to criticism.


    Citrine Yellow: Citrine is a superficial and fickle color. It encourages the serial relationship hopper, the teaser, with unstable emotions. This yellow can be deceitful and retreats from responsibility.


    Golden Yellow: This yellow is the color of the loner with an intense curiosity and interest in investigating the finer details of its interests. Golden yellow is sensitive to criticism.


    Cream: Cream, tinted with a hint of yellow, encourages new ideas. However, this very pale color can also indicate a lack of confidence and a need for reassurance.


    Dark Yellow: The darker shades of yellow indicate an inclination toward depression and melancholy, lack of love and low self-worth. Dark yellow relates to the constant complainer and the cynic.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    meh, my ability to quote anyone's posts has mysteriously stopped.

    The trick to red is not to wear too much. You got me on the yellow. I can't see many men pulling it off.
    i have some yellow long johns.

    and yeah, i wouldn't dress totally in red.

    i couldn't find much about men wearing yellow, but this:
    http://perezhilton.com/2014-02-26-br....G7yf1T2c.dpbs

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    Those shades of red work better for men. I liked them actually.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I get the impression that Fe views emotion in terms of it's objective manifestations and how it contributes to social cohesion, whereas I feel I'm usually aware of the depth that's inherent to it as it relates to the individual experience...For example, I'm likely to feel bad for the one person that's singled out or viewed as burdensome by the group for some social reason, even if it helps maintain group cohesion...I won't make a scene out of it or look down on everyone else for doing it, but I can still feel for them (unless it's obvious that they did something malicious or uncalled for).
    Have you considered LSE?

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    Nope, still unable to quote. Do I make you feel "conflict" suede? They say LSE and IEI are conflictors. I think?

    I don't believe "conflictor" is an actual word in the dictionary...now I have to look.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenneth Chesney View Post
    Have you considered LSE?
    Not really..why?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Nope, still unable to quote. Do I make you feel "conflict" suede? They say LSE and IEI are conflictors. I think?

    I don't believe "conflictor" is an actual word in the dictionary...now I have to look.
    Ha, thanks for bringing this up. Not at all.

    I picture my conflictor being a Fi/Te valuing type (Gamma is the first quadra that comes to mind as far as being potentially hostile or antithetic..something about that energy just seems foreign to me, whereas I can more-or-less resonate with Betas and Deltas when it comes to certain things), actually, so I guess that answers my original question.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    Not really..why?
    Since Fe is LSE's role function, I see it as a possibility.

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    @Suedehead

    I started hearing this song in my head when I read your post.




    Don't know why.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    Ha, thanks for bringing this up. Not at all.

    I picture my conflictor being a Fi/Te valuing type (Gamma is the first quadra that comes to mind as far as being potentially hostile or antithetic..something about that energy just seems foreign to me, whereas I can more-or-less resonate with Betas and Deltas when it comes to certain things), actually, so I guess that answers my original question.
    So you're like a bridge between beta and delta?

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    i don't really know you, but from what little i have seen of you, nothing strikes out as being against you being sei. sei's are docile little things until disturbed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    I guess this is one of the things that distinguishes me from an SEE friend I used to have in high school - she was pretty much always willing to make a scene over ethical issues, whereas I'd always be left wondering why she couldn't just let it go...

    I definitely experienced her outbursts/quarrels as unnecessarily disruptive..although she's defended me a few times, so I can't really complain.
    you'd cause a scene over animal cruelty though right?

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    arrrgh I got a ghost in my machine tonight. The shirt is not yellow and that is a nice neutral color. I wear it a lot too.
    @mercutio

    Look at me giving fashion tips tonight...

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    arrrgh I got a ghost in my machine tonight. The shirt is not yellow and that is a nice neutral color. I wear it a lot too.
    @mercutio

    Look at me giving fashion tips tonight...
    well fuck i don't know. as long as it's not that gay beige khaki bullshit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedehead View Post
    Points for Fe:

    -I don't take the idea of 'rapport' or the inherent distance between individuals seriously and generally don't seem mesh well with people who value it...I view the development of relationships as fluid and spontaneous. If someone warms up to me from the get-go, I don't really find it uncomfortable..I'm usually receptive towards it.

    -Unless I'm stressed out or particularly angry at the world, I avoid placing harsh judgment on others, even when they say things that I might disagree with from an ethical standpoint...as long as it's funny, I can sort of look past it and accept that we have different views on things.

    -When interacting with someone, I tend to notice the level of receptivity/mirroring the person is physically showing..in fact, I'm actually pretty sensitive to it and can occasionally misinterpret Gamma/Delta seriousness.


    Points against Fe:

    -I don't really do grand displays of emotion or gushiness, at all...I smile and laugh genuinely when talking to people, but I've never been the type to 'let loose' or 'amp people up', nor do I consider myself responsible for making sure everyone in a group is having fun. My role within a group is one of receptivity, as opposed to being someone who consistently shows initiative.

    -I can find it annoying when my Sei-Fe mom tries to approach me with excessively-merry Fe when I'm having a bad day...and kind of wish that she didn't view it as her responsibility to lift my mood in such moments.

    -I see myself as an 'individual' as opposed to an indistinguishable member of a social group..in other words, I tend to experience myself as inherently separate from whatever's going on around me. I'm also able to maintain a sense of distance between my own views/interests/values, and those of the collective, even if I don't consciously expressing them..although admittedly, they seem to lose their level of importance once I'm in the presence of friends. These are mainly things I mull over in private.

    -I can get a bit worked up over Fi-ish ethical issues.

    -I avoid making quick judgments about people based on Fe-ish impressions (like "he's weird", "what a downer", "he never talks", etc.)
    I recall you said you tested ISFP in mbti and SEI-Si in socionics. Theoretically Jungian functions should correspond in the two systems ... I could account for one being a subtype of a related, "mirror" type, for eg., or one function being different, but I´m usually skeptical of stuff like "I am ENFJ in mbti and SLI in socionics". Meaning you may be in the right to ask yourself if it´s really not Fi you prefer and consider other possible types.
    Last edited by Amber; 03-04-2014 at 10:12 AM.

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