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Thread: Strengthening the third instinct.

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    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    Default Strengthening the third instinct.

    Has anyone tried this?

    I've tried to put myself on a schedule recently, cleaning everything thoroughly biweekly, paying bills on time, trying to eat okay, and doing small "practical" things that fill up my time. But I also think these things are not that hard for me in part b/c I'm Si.

    I've found that as I've felt better about sp I put less pressure on so- I don't expect that other people will provide me with they magic advice that will solve my problems. I realize that you kind of just have to figure it out on your own and there is no right or wrong. But I'm not sure if this is actually related to instincts or if that is my imagination.

    I have to also say that receiving advice from sp-first people in the past often made me feel judged or claustrophobic. I think it's deeper than acting out the motions of that instinct (although that's a big start) but sort of changing how you see that area of your life. I think right now that I will never care as much about sp stuff as people who actually have that as an instinct but it's really nice to have a stable base-line of being able to take care of yourself. And to do that, you must invest some amount of consistent time and energy towards it.

    Anyway, I've read elsewhere that trying to develop your missing instinct will make you feel more balanced. I know that when I've tried to completely avoid sp I've felt constantly in "freefall." Have anyone else tried this, does it work? If so, how did you go about it?

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    i can acutely sense how much i'm held back by my disregard of SO but even the thought of asking for help is scary. SO-first people seem like the normal, well-functioning people of the world and its intimidating, like i'm broken somehow in comparison, even though i know everybody has a last instinct. i was just thinking about this the other day. i feel a deficiency here way more than ive ever felt deficient in an information element that i could call a polr or whatever.

    i suppose its a matter of forcing myself through the everyday things that are associated with the instinct, like making conversation with acquaintances and networking and calling family members to say hi. or maybe it would involve a shift in perspective to try to fully understand and appreciate the SO worldview. i dunno. but i'm curious about this, too.

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    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    i can acutely sense how much i'm held back by my disregard of SO but even the thought of asking for help is scary. SO-first people seem like the normal, well-functioning people of the world and its intimidating, like i'm broken somehow in comparison, even though i know everybody has a last instinct. i was just thinking about this the other day. i feel a deficiency here way more than ive ever felt deficient in an information element that i could call a polr or whatever.

    i suppose its a matter of forcing myself through the everyday things that are associated with the instinct, like making conversation with acquaintances and networking and calling family members to say hi. or maybe it would involve a shift in perspective to try to fully understand and appreciate the SO worldview. i dunno. but i'm curious about this, too.
    I feel really similarly about sp, all the way down to insecurity around sp-people- I feel like the "child" who never learned what's important. Anyway, reading your thoughts on being so-last was comforting, so thank you.

    I read somewhere that Riso and Hudson felt that instinct stackings were way more malleable than core fixations- not that the order will change, but that you can learn how to manage all of them to some degree. I read on the enneagram institute forum some example of a people working on so, where they realized they could tap into the "feeling of the group" or whatever and felt that even without sx they felt some kind of ambient connected-ness that was pleasant. Another person tried to access sx and found themselves composing romantic poetry in their head while staring angstily off into space (??) With sp, I mostly focus on trying to procrastinate less on the sorts of things I would normally procrastinate on, and gives me more of a sense of a possessing a "core," although that might be related to tapping into E1 energy.

    Sorry for the edits. There's more I want to articulate here about how strengthening bottom instinct seems to feed into health of the first two, but I have to think about it some more.

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    wow, I'm also sp last and can really relate to what you wrote here @lemontrees. I've found what @lungs wrote here reassuring, too. Maybe on some level we feel similarly "lost" at times about the third instinct regardless which instinct is the last one in our case...?

    Basically I agree with everything written here. From personal experience - I felt very similar many many times (receiving judgements from people using sp more than me, parents in my case). I also feel a more well rounded person when I get my act together and take care of the sp stuff (it's still constant work in progress though... )

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