Hello to everyone, I'm here to get typed. I have done this on the Personality Café forum, so I might add to this questionnaire the other I did on Personality Café. Which are the MBTI and the Enneagram one. The Enneagram questionnaire is fairly complete, I will just add it to the end of this post (actually, this one is already fairly long, if you want me to post the other questionnaries, tell me, I'll do it).
Edit : For your information : Type SEE or SLE I believe. Enneagram 8, I thought I might be a 3. Tell me if I'm completely wrong! Cheers.
What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty, in my opinion, is when you see something so beautiful than you need to stop to catch your breath. It is just so beautiful that you need some time to catch up with the real world. And, after I usually thinks about everything in the world and say this and that is wonderful and such. I'm just out of breath basically.
Love : It is when you hold someone in very high esteem in your heart. And that you will protect them no matter what, without a second thought you will be here for them, without even thinking.
Now, about sexual love. Well, just you can let yourself go and share everything, let the armor just slip off your shoulder and be yourself, I guess. To be honest, I try not to think over it, it just happens, and when you notice it, you are just like "fuck", and then you are happy. But yeah, intensely drawn to each other and when you think the other person complete you perfectly.
After some time, it'll just be : Be with that person, and just enjoy, be yourself and you know it's fine, because this person complete you and it's like a second nature.
What are your most important values?
To never give up and to do your best. To do what it takes to achieve something. Never say : "I can't do it, it's too tought" It just drives me crazy when someone give up, it really does. To just keep going froward until you reach your goal. That is my most important value, I guess you could call it 'will'. But yeah, to just do and never complain about "ho, but there is this and that and this, so I can't because I need this and that and this to be able to do it".
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I don't have any strong spiritual/religious beliefs. I DO think that there is something up there that guide everyone. That I have some angel that guide my path and give me hints. It kind of helps me sometimes, to think that I'm not alone and that there is someone with me, helping me along the way. I do hold this belief because it helps me, it relieves me of the overthinking of "what if?" (which I hate, because you can never know until you do it), so I just do it and see what happens. I do think over it sometimes, but I just end up fucking my brain up along the way.
So yeah, it helps me having this little guy in the sky that I can rely to sometimes, I like him.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
War is useless, it is a mean for people without the ability of speech, which disgust me the most. BUT it is a mean that is necessary if you want to defend yourself or to defend other.
In that way militaries is important, it is a force of persuasion towards people who wants to rule the world by force (which is fucking dumb since they were born with a brain and the capacity to talk and criticaly think). It also is useful when you want to protect countries and/or people they are sworn to protect.
Power, is to me, the ability to think and to act. You need physical power in oder to not get fucked over by people, to protect yourself. But you also need to think and to be smart in order to use this physical power well, and not to fall into some self destructive scheme. So, the alliance between strenght of the body and of the mind so you can be able to not get fucked over by other people who are dumb enough to only seek dumb and useless conflict. It makes me mad.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I have had long conversations about anything that picked up my interest. I feel the best when I talk intensively about these things, when I feel that I can share how it made me feel.
Long conversations. I think it was about things that I had long thinking over it before, a lot of reasonning made by myself before hand. Then I would just ask a good mate (a mate that I know has critical thinking, that is able to hold a conversation, I think that is what I search into people, the ability to hold a conversation and to give me advices about myself). So I would ask this mate and the conversation would start, and it would be so good and intense (in my point of view) that I would feel alive at the end of it, and kept wondering about it.
To be honest my interests go towards anything. I just think about things and I search about them on the internet (mostly) and that's it. If I keep thinking about it, I will just go back to the internet and look more about it so I can make my mind about it. And it keeps going like that endlessly, I think I have done my thing, then I think about it again and I realise it might be like that or like that, so I go and search again, etc etc.
I don't know why, I just want to know how it works. The exemple I have taken above is about personality (Socionics, MBTI, Enneagram, etc) I just like to know what is up with everyone else, but with myself aswell. Like, I have realised that people are what they are and that I'm not a freak, which was fucking nice to realise .
But yeah, my interests go towards anything that pick up my mind. Then I search it if it still keeps picking my mind up.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Well, not really I would say, unless it concerns me, but I will usually cut off the conversation with : "Anyway, I'll just go see the doctor and it'll be fine". I don't really hold that much interest, since I just need to see a doctor and I'll be fine. I'm not really focused on my body, it's here, it does what I'm asking him to do, but I still love him. I can be focused on it if I need to.
What do you think of daily chores?
Must be done in order to keep going on. I have tried not doing them. Well, at the end of the day you get fucked up. It is something that you must get over with it so you can keep going forward. Also, even thought it's boring as hell, it is better to do them well (a.k.a the school work) than to just get over with them and always pass at the limit to the next year. Just need to get it over with. Which is fucking boring, but I have told you that before, didn't I?
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.:
Books : Where there are actions and where my mind can wonder. So I liked Eragon, was fun, Hunger Games aswell, and Cherub. I don't know if you know Cherub, but I find it fun as hell, it's like an action movie, it's really fun to read. I have tried my hand (eyes I should say) to more "interesting" books, like Inferno by Dante, or La Peste by Camus.
And, Inferno was fucking heavy to read, not gonna lie, but man, it was so good, the universe is amazing, it's just so amazing, the details are really great, it's really great, but it was so heavy to read, I won't do it another time, I might just die. The same goes for La Peste, it is (haven't finished it, can't get over it, too boring/heavy to read) so good. The guy's writing is so good, at some times I had shivers, it was so great, I felt like in an action movie, I couldn't stop but turning the pages and at the end I was out of breath (out of breath while reading..). So yeah, good, even amazing, but can't get myself to read the books, it takes to much.
Films : Welcome to Gattaca, The Butterfly Effect, True Detective (this one, fuck my life, big big big love, it's a tv show), Band of Brothers, Ergo Proxy, Death Note, Shame, Drive, The cabin in the woods (a bit less thought).
To get back to True Detective, I really like, it's like I'm with the guy sometimes, the realisation is so good, it makes me believe I'm living what the guy is going throught, and sometimes I just identify myself to him (which I would prefer not to because it freaks me out, but I also like it), identify to Matthew McConaughey (which I think is stupid). Shame goes for Shame and Drive. A bit less for Drive thought.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
Not much makes me cry, I need to be really involved into the person, into the movie/tv show, so it can make me cry, or want to cry.
Smile, everything that is down to earth and that I have done and/or fantasize about it, when I see it in another person reflexion and in movies/books/tv shows, it makes me smile so much. Like "I'm not alone" kind of vibe that I'm so proud about it (creepy, hey?). Yeah, that I'm not a freak, that there are other people like me, that i'm an acceptable human being, that it is possible for me to live in this world, being the true to myself, I guess. It brings me a lot of joy when I think about, that I'm not a freak and that I'm acceptable as a human being, it makes me feel great about myself.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
When I forget myself and become the environment. I forget I'm here, I just am. I am only here, not the body, but Me. That is when I feel at one with the environment, when I forget my self and become me.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
That I don't think over things, that I'm too fast paced, that I must be what they think is good for myself. What they think is good for them.
I dislike when I am doing things to please others and just to please them. Like I will be someone else, someone acceptable to the eyes of these people, so I can be accepted. I dislike this part of me, when I turn my back, show my ass, and ask them to do me. Just because I want to be accepted.
But I also like being accepted, I adore it..
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
That I'll stand my ground, that I'll say truly what I think, that I'll stay true to myself (I guess) and I will keep my point of view, even thought it means being the weird one. That I like about me, standing firm on my both feet.
I have been told my a really good friend that my strengts were : I was caring for people around me, even thought they were not like, I would try to understand them and accept them as who they are. So that I'm tolerent (even thought, if it's a jackass, I'll tell him to fuck off), and that I trust people.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
Guidance. I don't fucking know where I am going. I just keep doing what ever comes to me, but I have no real goal in life, just waiting and see what is going to happen. Even thought sometimes I take actions, but still, I lack guidance.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.:
No, never. If I'm stuck I'll get out of it, by all means. Once I got stuck, one morning I woke up and I was so fucking drepressed, didn't want to move, to eat, to walk, to see, to think, to do anything, I just wanted life to stop and me with it, to become an entity of everything and die in silence. Well, after 10 mins of dying I just told myself "what the fuck" and I moved and moved and moved, and in three days it was over.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
People who bent to me so they can have my bless, then bent to other people to have their bless, and fuck me in the end. I want to wreck them so hard.
People who are just true to them, that do not let themselves be bent, but that are also tolerent. People really down to earth (but also fun to be around, lol), that are both strong enough not to be bent by anyone and with enough thinking so they can critically assume point of views. I get along with those kind of people the best, where I can be myself and that they are not shocked about it, that I'm not a freak. I think, in my life, I had trouble finding even one of them.
Yeah, down to earth but also fun.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
Romance, sex, it's just a wild thing you do to get your needs satisfied. It's better if you really like the other person thought, much much better, you feel linked to each other, and it's like you don't belong to this planet anymore.
Qualities : I don't fucking know. I feel it. If they are a bitch, with no tolerence, who keeps complaining, I will throw them away. I need a set of things, otherwise it'll not fit, of course I won't be too picky usually, just get whatever is fine with what I search at the moment, and just stop it if I don't like it anymore.
So, qualities : I don't know, I will just speculate, and specualting with me, is often way off base. A woman kind enough to accept me for who I am, my whole, not just the external shell. Someone who twist me around, who do not let herself do, who is simply charming and sexy at the same time. And a person who can keep a decent conversation. (I feel dumb enumerating all those things, it seems like I'm in the market, trying to find the right piece of meat).
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
That my child (if it was mine) has to habilities to be able to evolve freely in this world with the capacity to defend himself (yes a boy, lol) and to critically think and be able to make choices with critical thinking.
Basically give him the right tools so he could be whatever he wants, with these tools, he can decide for himself what is best. My goal would be to give him the tools, the great amazing tools so he could really be safe and make the choices for himself. I will always be here for him too, if he has any concern, I'll answer them, but critically, so he thinks about it, not me, him.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
In the moment, I will not think inward, I'll only think outward. If it's a really good friend I'll ask him why, and try to understand his point of view and accept it, or try to change it but just ask the right question so I can get around it, and get why.
If it's someone I don't really care about, I will just let him be or just throw some stuff in his face to make him react. I guess.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.:
Society is here, and I'm there, I don't think about it, I'm just here. If there is a problem, I fix it. People, things that move and do things. Same I don't think about it until it's in my face and I need to deal with it.
A prevalent social problem : People think they ought to be treated the way they think it is good for them. Which is fucking wrong. Everyone ought be treated the same way.
Basically, people are hypocrites, they tell, I'm this or this or that, and do this or that or this, i'm proud of my country because this or this or that, i'll do this or this or that. And when they get the things in front of them they just flee or laught, and say it is pathetic, that they would never do that while they are doing it. I find it disgusting.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
Same, I don't choose them, well I do, but I don't think over it "Is he good enough to be my friend?", I just am around this person and if it fits it fits.
The thing I like with good friends is that I don't think how to act or be, I'm just here. But with other people I need to pay attention to wait I do or what I'm doing, otherwise it'll be tricky.
How do you behave around strangers?
Hum, I would say big smile. It's always nice to start with a big smile. Usually I wait and try to behave normally, engage the conversation with one person at first if it's a group, try to get this person and myself talking. Then switch a bit to all the person in the group so they can accept me. If I don't really care I just stay and wait, and am normal and sociable. I know how to be sociable. I know, doesn't mean I'm fond of of the act or anything, I might or I might not.
Thanks for reading this huge brick of text. I'm happy you used your free time to help me, I appreciate that a lot. If you have any questions or request I'm here to answer them. Thanks.