Compatibility - Ne/Si vs. Ni/Se

[Creepy-theticalanti]

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[Soupman]

status seeking, that sounds bad to be honest

[sarinana]

Thanks for this post! I can indeed relate with your ENFj stepmom more.
My observations:
Enfps: easy going on the first glance but very selective of people when you get to know them, often very cynical. More likely to think about the personality traits they are looking in their next partner. Needs to trust person first before entering the relationship. I know two ENFps, one man and one woman, who quit dating scene altogether because of past disappointments when they have been badly let down by their partners. Dedication over passion. Will avoid saying things that might hurt the person to their face, avoids conflicts. However these types quite often say negative things about people they dating behind their backs. Are more likely to accept partners flaws. These are the people who are skilled to make their relationships seem perfect to the outsiders when, in fact, the relationship might not be working well at all.

ENFjs: May seem haughty on the first glance but aren't that exacting when you get to know them. More likely to think about the things they want their future partner to have achieved/want to achieve and if they are compatible in this sense. Sees their partner as a fellow traveler on a long distant journey. Passion over dedication. Will sacrifice themselves for the sake of what they consider to be bigger goals(for example raising children together/having the perfect family) and are more likely to ignore partners flaws until it gets to the point of a conflict. How long can one live an illusion? Then dramatize the events and make the relationship seem much worse than it actually is.

[ashlesha]

the Ne/Si one is what comes more naturally for me to notice without thinking about it. but i would think Fi has something to do with that.

the Se/Ni one is stuff i more have to force myself to consider while telling myself to be realistic because my attraction is often so stupid (so many men i'm attracted to don't have jobs or are into drugs or something).

if you type me ESI i guess you could say its Ni troubles. but really i think it makes more sense to put myself in the Ne/Si category of what you've described here.

[silke]

I relate to the IEE description more. If my initial interaction with someone didn't feel right, I'm not going to persist with that relationship. Checking if our long-term goals and plans coincide is usually on the backburner for me. I've seen people put up with quite a bit of fighting and negativity in their relationships just because they were trying reach some other secondary goals so they were willing to make such a concession, and in retrospect it was NTR - various types took this approach.

[krieger]

the thing about Ni is that as you employ it more and more and get better at it you first learn to correlate current actions to future results in a way that leads to mastery of delayed gratification and career/status orientedness etc, but then the thoughts become deeper and veer towards "in the long run i'm just going to die; anything i achieve is a speck of dust in history; my need for status is just born from vanity, etc, etc" and the career/status orientedness slides off again. its kind of like a bell curve plotted on to a spectrum with only the center of it having that edgy overachiever feel.

[Absurd]

Has anyone else noticed these differences between Ne/Si and Ni/Se

Sure I did, the moment I registered on this forum.

[consentingadult]

@William: I haven't figured out yet if your thoughts are significant, but they are very interesting thoughts nonetheless!

[Amber]

^^^not really , Ni is awareness of patterns (including thought and behavior patterns), progression in time, long-term planning, strategic ability and future-predicting. Coupled and mingled with a judging function, of course, you´ll never encounter it by itself.

[Esaman]

"oh ok my BF is working in dis job and I hav dis one, so in 5 years we will be here, i am imaging it."

Very much Ni+Te.

shaping their lives around fancied, unrealistic visions, or in some cases, just imagining visions without actually doing anything to actualize them.

sure, not uncharacteristic to Ni+Fe.

Ne types use objective information to perceive potential for future development. Ni types, on the other hand, are prone to shaping their lives around fancied, unrealistic visions, or in some cases, just imagining visions without actually doing anything to actualize them.

Ne is looking at what is technically possible, which is kind of the opposite of looking for what is determined. Ni tries to do that looking at trends and stuff, and has a hard on for drive, status/influence/power and entanglement of passion in case of beta because those things are seen as self maintaining constants that will plow through unforeseen circumstances allowing Ni person to see secure future. Se is about contained power and value. Ni egos have going by the wind outlook and Se person can be a personal typhoon.

Your EIE step-mom's concerned about position, family, background etc because she's Fe dom.

Except that the other Fe dom is not position and lineage oriented.

[Esaman]

the Se/Ni one is stuff i more have to force myself to consider while telling myself to be realistic because my attraction is often so stupid (so many men i'm attracted to don't have jobs or are into drugs or something).

Dramatic is the spin Ni/Se has. Ni/Se is no more pragmatic than Ne/Si in romantic sphere. Attraction of intuit to sensor having bigger component to be labeled as such in both. Ni/Se need to fit/click together as much Si/Ne it is just that fitting is more easily called energizing sparring than comfort.
You are more likely to be looking for a morbid victim to connect to on dramatic level than for Si/Ne comfort compatibility.

[silverchris9]

You can think of it in terms of conscious and unconscious functions. I think that while the long-term-relationship-stability element isn't foregrounded, the Beta NFs are sort of unconsciously confirming that there is long-term relationship potential. But I agree that what's foregrounded is the similarity of goals. I mean, to me the perfect marriage is Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright in House of Cards (but that's partially because Robin Wright is a goddess among mortals, almost on the same level as Joan from Mad Men but not quite). I dunno, I think in a relationship you're not ALWAYS going to like each other, that's just a fact of life. But, if you're always headed in the same direction, if you're always on the same team, then, to me, it's easier to get over the little bumps and scrapes because you fundamentally support each other, make each other better; you're a part of how this other human does life on el planet earth. That, to me, is the core of the "do we have compatible life goals" idea. And I mean, obviously you enjoy this person's company some, no matter how cold-heartless-calculating you are, your partnership is just going to be less effective, if nothing else, if you're wasting time fighting too much over personality conflicts that don't really sharpen anyone or make each other better, etc., ya know?