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Thread: ESTp's method of conquest: question for IEIs and SLEs

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    Default ESTp's method of conquest: question for IEIs and SLEs

    What would be a typical first meeting interaction between SLE and IEI - how does a SLE interpret IEI's behaviour?

    I'm asking because I think recently I was mistaken by a SLE for IEI (I'm SEI) and this led to a very unusual (for me) evening.
    I was out partying with my girlfriends - a girls' night out - my best friend is looking for a man and she asked me to accompany her to parties (she's LSI, tends to get involved with toxic guys, I'm her 'voice of reason', that's pretty much why she always wants me to come along. Well that, plus we're having a load of fun together and both love rock music.) We were out in a group of 4 females. At one point the rest of the girls were dancing and I was left alone, trying not to keep eye contact with anyone as I didn't want any guys pursuing me (I'm married and not looking for anyone).
    Then all of a sudden a guy appears in front of me, smiles and asks me to dance. Given guys were starting to flock around me I figured dancing with one instead of trying to brush off 4 others felt like a lesser evil, so I agreed. (I am very good-looking, not trying to brag, but that's why they were flocking and that's why I decided to dance with one of them instead of trying to somehow get rid of the whole flock). The fact that that guy was probably the hottest in the club was flattering, I'm not gonna lie.
    So we danced, he was a brilliant dancer (danced very similarly to my ILE husband, leading in a similar way and it's rare that it's so 'easy' to dance with smn for me), he had a very strong 'presence' (somehow although the place was crowded with people, we ended up having a large part of the dancefloor for ourselves), he kept looking at my wedding ring and I wasn't hiding it. Then he started to try to push me closer and closer to him and I kept resisting (he was ridiculously strong) and when the song ended he stared at me smiling invitingly for another dance and I mumbled 'thank you', turned around and left the dancefloor (I could almost 'feel' his disappointed energy behind me, but I wanted it to be visible that it was one dance and that's it).
    I went to the restroom where I met one of my friends, when I left the restroom I saw him sitting across the room sad over a drink and I came up to my friends in another part of the room. He must have noticed me as then he moved across the room and kept trying to catch my attention, then he approached me, but I brushed him off. He kept standing in a close range and 'waiting' for me to move onto the dancefloor. I had to walk past him and when I did, I stopped and we had a short dialogue:
    me: You're great. But I'm married. ((To me it was my way of telling him "there's nothing wrong with you, but you can't and won't have me, go on to pursue other girls.))
    him: I don't care about this. ((in a very decisive tone))
    me: ((startled look, as it kind of shocked me, every guy who tried to pursue me used to understand that when I say I'm married, it's final and he should brush off)) But I do care about this.
    ((Then I turned and walked away.))

    After a moment he followed me onto the dancefloor, tried to touch my back, when I brushed him off and ignored him, he grabbed a girl and started dancing with her just in front of me and my friends at such a close range that we couldn't move, so we moved across the dancefloor somewhere else. The rest of the night looked like this - he grabbed a girl, danced somewhere near me, then left her, came back to me and danced just next to me trying to catch my attention. When he didn't succeed (I avoided eye contact), again grabbed next girl, danced for a moment and came back to me. It was intense and felt as if he was trying to show me 'look I can have all of them but I want you' sort of thing, it felt like he wanted to hunt me down and 'break' me, he also ignored my friends telling him 'look, she's married, she doesn't want to dance with you'. His final answer was "I don't care about this" and he kept pursuing. He tried to touch me and my hair, he acted as if I had some kind of a hypnotising influence on him.
    At some point some other guy wanted to dance with me (an overly friendly drunken 'bear' and when after a very short dance in a friendly group I didn't want to dance with him and the 'bear' kept on insisting, he ('the pursuer', lol) jumped in front of me and scared the 'bear' away (which was helpful and kind of impressive given the 'bear' was a huuuge guy twice as big as him). Then he smiled again and wanted to dance with me. (Some sort of 'I saved you princess, now you're mine' behaviour). I said 'thank you' (he did help me with that big guy after all) and tried to turn away. I ended up dancing with one of my girlfriends at a close range and my other friends ended pushing him away a bit.
    By the end of the night he had short conversations with all my friends telling him 'she's married, she doesn't want to dance with you' and him saying 'I don't care' and laughing at the fact of me being taken and keeping on the pursuit. Then finally one of my friends was very persistant on telling him the same thing and making him realise I really am married and it's not some kind of long-distance marriage with me being unhappy and trolling clubs looking for a hook-up. Then he got sad/disappointed and left the club.

    He was so persistent during the whole night that my friends were shocked with his behaviour. He just wanted to 'get' me, full stop.
    He wasn't rude though, or overly physical trying to 'grab' me in this fully objectifying way that sometimes happens in clubs.
    Now, this kind of behaviour is like an over-amplified way of ILE pursuing a girl. That is how my ILE 'got' me, but it took him a while and was more subtle.
    There were similarities in the way this guy danced to ILE, but in his overall behaviour he was more 'forceful' and 'decisive'. It was both flattering and a bit scary at the same time. (Tbh there was sth attractive in it and if I were single I'd probably give in in the sense I'd dance the night away with him and date him.) But, that is not the case. And when I left him in the middle of the dancefloor it was like me saying 'no' and most guys just get it and leave me alone. Then saying straight that I'm married is the point where basically every guy knows it's time to back off. Yet he didn't.

    Now, given this overly detailed almost 'photographic' recollection of events screams Si and it's obvious I'm not IEI - could an IEI or SLE explain to me what happened that evening?

    So I guess my question is - was he SLE or was he just some overly-persistant other type?
    If this indeed was a SLE thinking I was encouraging him to pursue me - what would be a polite, yet final way of letting him know a 'no' is a 'no'? (As obviously my SEI ways weren't working at all...)
    How to say 'no' to a SLE in a manner that sinks in but isn't rude? (I'm incapable of saying it in a rude manner face to face to smn who's not rude to me, and I guess that's what made him feel like that was an invitation to pursue me?)

    TL;DR - If a SEI gets mistaken for IEI by SLE, how to get out of the situation without being rude but letting SLE know the 'no' is final? (It seems the way a SEI says 'no' is reminiscent to the way an IEI says 'no, but if you pursue me, it might be a yes'...)

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    "Look dude, no = no, i'm not interested, sorry I gave that impression"

    or leave.

    In a way push-pull is behaviour that will get most males completely intrigued with you. Also, being married doesn't mean too much to some, and the fact that you were dancing with him gave him the wrong impression. People will protest they are married all the time before cheating, it's kinda the obligatory thing to do so they can afterwards tell themselves "it happened", "I protested" (and still flirt).
    Not saying that's what you did! But that's what he might have seen.

    One way i've seen people deal with this kind of situation is having someone (me) around to interfere, I'd go up to my girl friends (not girlfriends) and pretend they're my partner. (might backfire and instead get the SLE incompetition with your interference partner, but sofar that hasn't happened to me yet).

    The final option is practising your "disgusted" look. IEI's will push-pull their SLE's but they'll not look disgusted if they don't mean it.

    Subtlety probably won't work with guys like that, so if you insist on staying polite and charming he will not leave you alone.

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    Be mean.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Am I the only one who thinks the guy sounds kind of rapey? Ugh.
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    i prefer to just be polite too, but regardless of his type i think switching on the bitchiness is a good skill for anybody to have in those situations. if he has the balls to keep getting in your face then he should be tough enough to deal with it if you're not nice. put up a thick wall and go rigid and quiet and stuck up like. reinforce his behavior with just plain unpleasantness as much as possible so that it feels less like a teasey game and more like ...a just plain unpleasant interaction that he would probably rather walk away from. you don't OWE polite and nice behavior to everyone you meet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Am I the only one who thinks the guy sounds kind of rapey? Ugh.
    No, I got the same feeling. However, SLE's can sometimes do this type of behaviour without looking too creepy...Idk.

    it seems OP wants advice on how to end such a situation rather than a moral or character judgement pertaining to him so our feelings are kinda not that relavant.

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    Great harlequin, aisa. *Clap, clap*

    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Am I the only one who thinks the guy sounds kind of rapey? Ugh.
    SLE is proper rapist, so no wonder...

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    Quote Originally Posted by aisa View Post
    TL;DR - If a SEI gets mistaken for IEI by SLE, how to get out of the situation without being rude but letting SLE know the 'no' is final? (It seems the way a SEI says 'no' is reminiscent to the way an IEI says 'no, but if you pursue me, it might be a yes'...)
    If you don't share acquaintances, you can also lie.

    "I hope you don't think any less of me but I'm having a really bad outbreak of genital herpes right now. Unfortunately I'm Roman Catholic, so condoms are out, but maybe we can pray together beforehand and God's love will stop you getting infected."

    Instant cold water.

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    His type is Aggressor (Creepy variety) and in that situation , your type was Prey. Bars are a good place for that scenario to be played out.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
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    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    "Look dude, no = no, i'm not interested, sorry I gave that impression"

    or leave.
    yeah, leaving wasn't an option as that LSI friend of mine was finally being chatted up by a nice guy and I didn't want to spoil that for her (we went there as a group and wanted to leave as a group).

    In a way push-pull is behaviour that will get most males completely intrigued with you.
    ok, so that already was a push pull behaviour? I guess I need to learn to be more blunt then

    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    Be mean.
    is Refi's above comment mean enough or how should it look like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    Also, being married doesn't mean too much to some, and the fact that you were dancing with him gave him the wrong impression. People will protest they are married all the time before cheating, it's kinda the obligatory thing to do so they can afterwards tell themselves "it happened", "I protested" (and still flirt).
    Not saying that's what you did! But that's what he might have seen.
    yeah, I never cheated on anyone, nor was I cheated on (to my knowledge) so I guess I don't know what is the "obligatory" behaviour in such stances. But it's good that you pointed this out that some people act this way and it could have been read as a part of such "pattern". This makes interpreting the whole situation easier to me.

    One way i've seen people deal with this kind of situation is having someone (me) around to interfere, I'd go up to my girl friends (not girlfriends) and pretend they're my partner. (might backfire and instead get the SLE incompetition with your interference partner, but sofar that hasn't happened to me yet).
    we were supposed to be there with my ILE for similar reasons, but he couldn't go and we didn't want to call off the whole thing, cause my LSI friend really wanted to go and for me to be there. By the end of the night there were 2 guys who acted in a similar manner - they were neutral towards us but kept others at a distance (one of them observed the whole situation and though he didn't hit on any of us, he got kind of protective I guess, cause he talked to the 'SLE' guy at some point, and stayed near us for the remainder of the night)

    The final option is practising your "disgusted" look. IEI's will push-pull their SLE's but they'll not look disgusted if they don't mean it.

    Subtlety probably won't work with guys like that, so if you insist on staying polite and charming he will not leave you alone.
    yeah, I did the disgusted look (to the point of my LSI friend bursting out in laughter, cause it's the expression I have when she tells me sth about some particularly toxic guy she dates or sth). It didn't work on him. Idk maybe IEIs are better at their disgusted looks.
    Last edited by aisa; 02-12-2014 at 05:45 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aisa View Post
    TL;DR - If a SEI gets mistaken for IEI by SLE, how to get out of the situation without being rude but letting SLE know the 'no' is final? (It seems the way a SEI says 'no' is reminiscent to the way an IEI says 'no, but if you pursue me, it might be a yes'...)
    why "without being rude"?! Imo SLE usually reads pretty well if someone is attracted to them or not and , if they are and wanna get closer, they may pursue. Not sure if this has anything to do with resembling some IEI species.

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    Well, well, well. Clearly Ti/Fe. I wasn't wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Am I the only one who thinks the guy sounds kind of rapey? Ugh.
    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    No, I got the same feeling. However, SLE's can sometimes do this type of behaviour without looking too creepy...Idk.

    it seems OP wants advice on how to end such a situation rather than a moral or character judgement pertaining to him so our feelings are kinda not that relavant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    SLE is proper rapist, so no wonder...
    yeah, he gave me the creeps in the middle of the whole situation, but then he left when he finally 'got' that it's not gonna happen. If he didn't leave me alone at some point then I guess my description would be more judgemental of him being just a creep and probably I wouldn't post here, cause I'd assume sth along the lines 'SLE or no SLE, a creep is a creep'
    I didn't ask for judgement of his morals, but tbh was curious whether it would come up - whether he's behaviour would be perceived as sth a SLE would do or as sth that was just too much

    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Great harlequin, aisa. *Clap, clap*
    yeah, I read 1-2 of my aunt's harlequins at the age of around 14, lol and I guess if all are similar then this description might sound harlequin-like. Following the stereotype, there's a fair chance cheap romance is written by SEIs/ESEs for bored stay-at-home SEIs/ESEs...
    this was an actual situation though and my request for advice was valid and I gave as much detail as I could remember cause I wanted to learn whether this was a type-related behaviour as I never came across smn behaving this way and would rather know how to act should anything similar happen in the future...

    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    His type is Aggressor (Creepy variety) and in that situation , your type was Prey. Bars are a good place for that scenario to be played out.
    yeah, I read about one IEI in this forum having a relationship with a SLE who pretty much approached her in a stalkerish manner and it was supposedly a 'good' duality for her, so the thought of agressor made me start this thread (in order to know what to do not be perceived as prey).

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    that guy sounds hilarious

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    Quote Originally Posted by aisa View Post
    yeah, leaving wasn't an option as that LSE friend of mine was finally being chatted up by a nice guy and I didn't want to spoil that for her (we went there as a group and wanted to leave as a group).


    ok, so that already was a push pull behaviour? I guess I need to learn to be more blunt then


    is Refi's above comment mean enough or how should it look like?


    yeah, I never cheated on anyone, nor was I cheated on (to my knowledge) so I guess I don't know what is the "obligatory" behaviour in such stances. But it's good that you pointed this out that some people act this way and it could have been read as a part of such "pattern". This makes interpreting the whole situation easier to me.


    we were supposed to be there with my ILE for similar reasons, but he couldn't go and we didn't want to call off the whole thing, cause my LSE friend really wanted to go and for me to be there. By the end of the night there were 2 guys who acted in a similar manner - they were neutral towards us but kept others at a distance (one of them observed the whole situation and though he didn't hit on any of us, he got kind of protective I guess, cause he talked to the 'SLE' guy at some point, and stayed near us for the remainder of the night)


    yeah, I did the disgusted look (to the point of my LSE friend bursting out in laughter, cause it's the expression I have when she tells me sth about some particularly toxic guy she dates or sth). It didn't work on him. Idk maybe IEIs are better at their disgusted looks.
    Quote Originally Posted by aisa View Post
    yeah, he gave me the creeps in the middle of the whole situation, but then he left when he finally 'got' that it's not gonna happen. If he didn't leave me alone at some point then I guess my description would be more judgemental of him being just a creep and probably I wouldn't post here, cause I'd assume sth along the lines 'SLE or no SLE, a creep is a creep'
    I didn't ask for judgement of his morals, but tbh was curious whether it would come up - whether he's behaviour would be perceived as sth a SLE would do or as sth that was just too much


    yeah, I read 1-2 of my aunt's harlequins at the age of around 14, lol and I guess if all are similar then this description might sound harlequin-like. Following the stereotype, there's a fair chance cheap romance is written by SEIs/ESEs for bored stay-at-home SEIs/ESEs...
    this was an actual situation though and my request for advice was valid and I gave as much detail as I could remember cause I wanted to learn whether this was a type-related behaviour as I never came across smn behaving this way and would rather know how to act should anything similar happen in the future...


    yeah, I read about one IEI in this forum having a relationship with a SLE who pretty much approached her in a stalkerish manner and it was supposedly a 'good' duality for her, so the thought of agressor made me start this thread (in order to know what to do not be perceived as prey).

    Push-pull is in the eye of the beholder. But you danced with him and than turned cold, that could be percieved as push-pull yes.

    Imho this guy was someone who doesn't know how to take no for an answer, a creep so to speak. Not too sure it's due to his type nor do I think you could "find a IEI way to deal with him". You used the socially accepted stuff, next in my book of techniques would have been throwing drinks at him, burping in his face, knee to his groin and stabbing fingers at eyes (in that order of escalating).

    in a way SLE-IEI intereaction is just that, clicklit romance with stalkerish vibes (read 50 shades for a perfect example, also twilight). But in those cases the SLE stays the gentleman (there's not much literature about role inverse situations, sorry @Ankh) and will only ravish the damsel if she properly begs him to. What you encountered doesn't sound typically SLE to me (or at least, my SLE friends are much much less inclined to ruin your evening).

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    i prefer to just be polite too, but regardless of his type i think switching on the bitchiness is a good skill for anybody to have in those situations. if he has the balls to keep getting in your face then he should be tough enough to deal with it if you're not nice. put up a thick wall and go rigid and quiet and stuck up like. reinforce his behavior with just plain unpleasantness as much as possible so that it feels less like a teasey game and more like ...a just plain unpleasant interaction that he would probably rather walk away from. you don't OWE polite and nice behavior to everyone you meet.
    hmm yeah I guess you're right. Thing is I have no problem lashing out at smn when they are rude towards me (as in a guy grabs my butt in the crowd - I'm not gonna let it pass peacefully). But when it's about smn crossing my psychological comfort line I kind of don't know when it's time to just be plain mean. I didn't want it to be a 'teasey game' and I told the guy I'm taken and ignored him, kept moving away from him and made sure there was no eye contact and if there was any - then it was an unpleasant look.
    But from what I've read here it seems that what seems final to me is perceived in a different way by smn with another point of view. And that's precisely what I wanted to learn - what is the outsider's perspective.

    Quote Originally Posted by squirreltual View Post
    If you don't share acquaintances, you can also lie.

    "I hope you don't think any less of me but I'm having a really bad outbreak of genital herpes right now. Unfortunately I'm Roman Catholic, so condoms are out, but maybe we can pray together beforehand and God's love will stop you getting infected."

    Instant cold water.
    wow, lmao that was brilliant! I wish I had the guts to actually say sth like this, lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by AshSun View Post
    why "without being rude"?! Imo SLE usually reads pretty well if someone is attracted to them or not and , if they are and wanna get closer, they may pursue. Not sure if this has anything to do with resembling some IEI species.
    I guess TL;DR was too short. Maybe the phrasing should have been sth along the lines of 'if smn seems to be acting aggressor-like (oversimplifying: possible SLE looking for IEI) and pursues despite being told not to, what is the way to tell him 'no' in a more rigid manner, but without being rude'. And I guess I got a lot of answers in this thread despite this question not being so precisely phrased out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Well, well, well. Clearly Ti/Fe. I wasn't wrong.
    ?

    Quote Originally Posted by staccato du mal View Post
    that guy sounds hilarious
    I think I'm missing sth?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    Push-pull is in the eye of the beholder. But you danced with him and than turned cold, that could be percieved as push-pull yes.
    ok, I can see what you mean.

    Imho this guy was someone who doesn't know how to take no for an answer, a creep so to speak. Not too sure it's due to his type nor do I think you could "find a IEI way to deal with him". You used the socially accepted stuff, next in my book of techniques would have been throwing drinks at him, burping in his face, knee to his groin and stabbing fingers at eyes (in that order of escalating).
    yeah, we're on the same page here. Imagining doing the things you mentioned made me big time

    in a way SLE-IEI intereaction is just that, clicklit romance with stalkerish vibes (read 50 shades for a perfect example, also twilight). But in those cases the SLE stays the gentleman (there's not much literature about role inverse situations, sorry @Ankh) and will only ravish the damsel if she properly begs him to. What you encountered doesn't sound typically SLE to me (or at least, my SLE friends are much much less inclined to ruin your evening).
    'Twilight' was unwatchable, don't think I'd survive the book, not even getting close to 50 shades, I don't see much sense in reading about other people's bed antics, it's seems a waste of time, I'd rather be busy in my own bed, lol.
    But I get the picture, though. So basically this guy might or might not have been a SLE and his behaviour wasn't really type related (and while it could have reminded a type-related behaviour, it would be an example of an unhealthy one).

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    No need to quote me twice. I'm done. Besides, secondline wasn't directed at you, so I don't know why you replied. Anyway, keep calm and kill SLE.

    Later.

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    @aisa, I don't think that the way you describe the whole thing screams SEI, tbh

    IMO,this is not exactly a 'photographic' recollection but a sequential one. you bring up behavioural patterns and describe acts (not in a Si way).often,the same thing in slightly different words. then,you give your own interpretations whereas SEIs would probably wait for someone else to explain what they could probably mean and agree/disagree/expand on that

    amidointhisrite
    maybe i am underestimating seis?

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    Quote Originally Posted by squirreltual View Post
    If you don't share acquaintances, you can also lie.

    "I hope you don't think any less of me but I'm having a really bad outbreak of genital herpes right now. Unfortunately I'm Roman Catholic, so condoms are out, but maybe we can pray together beforehand and God's love will stop you getting infected."

    Instant cold water.
    I might actually think that person's funny and pursue more.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Just be meaner until it works. Aim to scar his psyche if you have to. Eventually his pride will lead him elsewhere.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    I might actually think that person's funny and pursue more.

    "cool, I was worried about how to bring up the HIV thing coupled with my faith, but since you're similar we can skip the awkwardness, pray, have sex and afterwards find some virgins to cure our STD's with! Great to find someone who understands and accepts me! Now, come along to the aley, there's a great spot to transfer our diseases!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by staccato du mal View Post
    @aisa, I don't think that the way you describe the whole thing screams SEI, tbh

    you give your own interpretations whereas SEIs would probably wait for someone else to explain what they could probably mean and agree/disagree/expand on that

    maybe i am underestimating seis?
    lol, I mean SEI is just a seal lying on a beach and waiting for the sun to set

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    "cool, I was worried about how to bring up the HIV thing coupled with my faith, but since you're similar we can skip the awkwardness, pray, have sex and afterwards find some virgins to cure our STD's with! Great to find someone who understands and accepts me! Now, come along to the aley, there's a great spot to transfer our diseases!"

    See it's too fun too play along with them. Especially since i have the confidence that i can one-up them in an off-the-cuff witty banter battle. Keep talking like that and i'm sticking around for keeps.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    See it's too fun too play along with them. Especially since i have the confidence that i can one-up them in an off-the-cuff witty banter battle. Keep talking like that and i'm sticking around for keeps.
    I agree, this could potentially be a relationship long lasting meme/banter. The wierder the better. If someone shoots me a line like that I'd keep engaging (not in the way the guy in OP did). I'd definately see it as reason to keep flirting within that context...

    Well, that is if it was delivered playfull or (too)dead serious. Not if it was mentioned like shamingly, cuz it might be true than....

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    Does his type really even matter.....? It's not like you will see him again. And if you do/he turns out to be a stalker ~~~threaten a restraining order.

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    Quote Originally Posted by staccato du mal View Post
    @aisa, I don't think that the way you describe the whole thing screams SEI, tbh

    IMO,this is not exactly a 'photographic' recollection but a sequential one. you bring up behavioural patterns and describe acts (not in a Si way).often,the same thing in slightly different words. then,you give your own interpretations whereas SEIs would probably wait for someone else to explain what they could probably mean and agree/disagree/expand on that

    amidointhisrite
    maybe i am underestimating seis?
    haha, ok, so what does it 'scream' to you?

    yeah, it is a sequential recollection, but what I see in front of me writing it down is a 'film' of sorts. My memory is very visual, so is imagination to the point of being unusual among my friends/family. Given this was supposed to be a description given in order to get a question answered it made no sense writing down things such as he wore a white Tshirt with a blue and red picture, light blue jeans, later on wore a dark green sweater (and giving you exact shade and cut although I saw it in the corner of my eye still trying not to maintain any eye contact) and further describing the guy's looks (or better, drawing a memory portrait), giving the exact spot on my back where the touch landed which prompted me to move away, scents and the lighting in the place, the music played, etc.
    It made no sense writing such stuff down as I was asking a question about behaviour after all, right?
    (also, smn already wrote that it seems harlequin-like, the amount of detail my memory stores [on various occassions, not just this particular one] would probably be surprising and make you feel you were there with me chasing the guy away, lol, but pointless to write it down here for reasons other than coming up with a novel instead of a thread
    I recently sat down with my husband and told him the stuff he told me some 8 years ago, what he wore years ago, what smn said, their facial expressions, the sort of light in the room when we talked, places we went, a ridiculous amount of stuff that from the descriptions I've read is associated with Si. He later said that my memory is 'scary' and awesome at the same time.)

    given most stereotypical SEI descriptions are of brain-dead home-loving zombies stuck in front of the tv watching argentinian 'telenovelas' and crying watching sappy commercials... you're either underestimating SEI, or following the pretty-dumb-touchy-feely-chick SEI stereotype
    Let's be honest, ILEs tend to be quite intelligent, if SEIs are supposed to be their duals, then there has to be sth more to SEIs than just improvising tasty meals in the kitchen and saying 'yes', 'no' and 'wow, you're soooo awesome and smart, let's make babies' .

    Quote Originally Posted by AshSun View Post
    lol, I mean SEI is just a seal lying on a beach and waiting for the sun to set
    lmao obviously!

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    Does his type really even matter.....? It's not like you will see him again. And if you do/he turns out to be a stalker ~~~threaten a restraining order.
    yeah, the problem is the place is my favourite all-time spot that I've frequented with friends for many years and am not willing to give up going there just because some guy couldn't take 'no' for an answer.
    I kinda don't know what would be the basis for a restraining order in such a case. He was acting unusual - but did he do anything forbidden by the law 'per se'? I don't think so...
    that's part of the reason for my looking for ways to be prepared to deal with him (or the likes of him) if his pride wasn't yet hurt enough to not come back there...

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    you kinda write like aivo and sarinana

    iei confirm.....if not..............eie.......

    ya it could be Fe base with Ni erotic attitude, you liking being chased but sticking to the ring thing

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    Quote Originally Posted by staccato du mal View Post
    you kinda write like aivo and sarinana

    iei confirm.....if not..............eie.......

    ya it could be Fe base with Ni erotic attitude, you liking being chased but sticking to the ring thing
    nah, I'm not IEI, I considered it for quite a while. I was friends with an IEI as a teen, had a serious relationship with another IEI as an adult later on and that was that.
    IEIs tend to like me at first and end up misunderstanding me terribly later on.
    And in no world known to man am I extroverted, lol. I mean - really. I may come across as extroverted only online. IRL My husband is extroverted, my MIL is extroverted too (and most likely EIE) and while I like her, she drains me of my energy. I don't exude enough Fe to be EIE imho.
    If the yt links here (http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...es-with-Videos) are to be taken at least a tad bit seriously, I VI regarding the bodily speech as SEI-Si and it's pretty consistent with the way I live judging by the wikisocion descriptions.

    At first I kept testing as intuitive. But it seems that there's just a sort of a bias in the descriptive tests - if you have developed Ni and Si, then even with significantly stronger Si, the result goes towards the intuitive types (I got EII, IEI, EIE, IEE, LII...).
    According to the Classic Jung Test my strongest functions are Si, then Fe, then the rest on very similar levels and lastly veeeery shitty Se.

    Tbh I can't see an IEI writing up such a long description as the one I posted above. I can see an EIE writing up one, but still, probably would have given a different 'vibe'.

    But, hey, if sth strikes you in particular, do let me know, it's not like I am too invested in my 'type'. Why would I? I'm supposed to be the 'doormat' of the system, lmao

    oh, just remembered - @Reficulris do I strike you as EIE in any way?

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    @aisa, if you are SEI you are a high energy one whose writing is hard for me to read w/o making an active effort.
    Or maybe like a mythic and mysterious 7w8 / 8w7 SEI- a puppy with jaws of steel who jumps through cyberspace chewing through all the brightest red balloons.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aisa View Post
    nah, I'm not IEI, I considered it for quite a while. I was friends with an IEI as a teen, had a serious relationship with another IEI as an adult later on and that was that.
    IEIs tend to like me at first and end up misunderstanding me terribly later on.
    And in no world known to man am I extroverted, lol. I mean - really. I may come across as extroverted only online. IRL My husband is extroverted, my MIL is extroverted too (and most likely EIE) and while I like her, she drains me of my energy. I don't exude enough Fe to be EIE imho.
    If the yt links here (http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...es-with-Videos) are to be taken at least a tad bit seriously, I VI regarding the bodily speech as SEI-Si and it's pretty consistent with the way I live judging by the wikisocion descriptions.

    At first I kept testing as intuitive. But it seems that there's just a sort of a bias in the descriptive tests - if you have developed Ni and Si, then even with significantly stronger Si, the result goes towards the intuitive types (I got EII, IEI, EIE, IEE, LII...).
    According to the Classic Jung Test my strongest functions are Si, then Fe, then the rest on very similar levels and lastly veeeery shitty Se.

    Tbh I can't see an IEI writing up such a long description as the one I posted above. I can see an EIE writing up one, but still, probably would have given a different 'vibe'.

    But, hey, if sth strikes you in particular, do let me know, it's not like I am too invested in my 'type'. Why would I? I'm supposed to be the 'doormat' of the system, lmao

    oh, just remembered - @Reficulris do I strike you as EIE in any way?
    The EIE's I know would either have cheated or would have had no problem gettin rid of the guy. They can very easily mobilize others to ostracize unwanted elements, could incite a fight between him and another guy, could have probably just scared him away by projecting a bad mood...or they might have kept him leashed, strung him along while never giving him what he wanted and all the while drinking on his money. I've seen all of the above options happen with EIE's.
    Also, in my oppinion an EIE will not turn to such a forum as this for advice concerning this. It'd be...not sure how to put it, beneath their dignity to ask advice about how to handle people.

    You don't resemble my experience with EIE's. I have not enouhg conscious experience to judge wether you're SEI, you are different from for example Lemontrees who seems to radiate more "sweet" energy but less while you radatie a more "sharper" energy and a lot of it. SEI? ESE? I don't know. I operate under the assumption that people's self typings are correct.


    Considering that ILE are considered the conmen from the socion it's an ideal coupling, we scam you and you let us walk all over you

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    @aisa, if you are SEI you are a high energy one whose writing is hard for me to read w/o making an active effort.
    Or maybe like a mythic and mysterious 7w8 / 8w7 SEI- a puppy with jaws of steel who jumps through cyberspace chewing through all the brightest red balloons.
    hmm... haha, if only I were like that irl - nothing would stop me
    I was brought up by gamma parents, ILI (1w-sth) mother, ESI father (an 8w7) and I go an 8w7 maybe a few times a year when smn really gets under my skin (impossible for a stranger to see me so angry, ever.) I test as 4w5 or 2w1 or 5w4. Due to the 8-like anger which is the most unhealthy I can get, I'm leaning toward 2w1, which would mean when I get healthier I go towards a healthy 4, and when I get unhealthier I go towards unhealthy 8.
    IRL I'm the silent one, who can sit out the whole party chatting with one person, when my SO is entertaining the crowd being everyone's friend.
    I recently read somewhere that every person has a secret and with introverts it's their personality. Honestly, from the people who know me - closest family and best friends (the vast number of 2) know me and see me as open as in writing here. The rest probably think I'm a non-talkative recluse, lol. Especially the range of acquaintances I've had from my SO's side - in contrast with my SO.

    LOL "a puppy with jaws of steel who jumps through cyberspace chewing through all the brightest red balloons" <- this actually sounds like sth my SO could say about me, lol. But he's probably one of 4-5 people in the world who ever see this side of me.
    Also, I used to be much 'softer' but life gave me quite a few swift kicks on the butt...

    Still, @lemontrees - what is your impression of my type then?

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    i don't understand why aisa would be seen as blatantly non-sei or even "sharp energy" at all

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    @ what staccato du mal said

    aivo is much, much more dramatic and into persona construction. I haven't read aisa for too long and didn't get into dichotomies and all, but energywise she doesn't strike me as Beta.
    and someone liking to be chased not necessarily = "Challenger/Prize" erotic attitude. It may be close to human nature actually. Only socionics makes a fuss of such a thing.

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    holy moly...smiley overload.



    not a sei simliar to bg or lemontrees or joe. 2w1 sounds likely..and might be the difference? but back to the issue at hand: dunno. I think this is a simple scenario which doesn't really need to be complicated..if you see him again, tell him to back off and that you really are not interested. Don't smile at him. I would even say, "Dude you are really creeping me out and making me uncomfortable." Squirrel's suggestion works quite nicely as well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    i don't understand why aisa would be seen as blatantly non-sei or even "sharp energy" at all
    I still think she's SEI as stated. As for the sharp energy, I guess it's in contrast with lemontrees. It also is very much my subjective feeling and wasn't meant to say "you're not SEI" just to assert that I do see a difference with other SEI's i've met (mostly here, as I don't recognise them IRL) and that she doesn't seem to fit the "stereotype" that much.

    Some gamma's have a much sharper engergy than she so, compared to that she's still sweet like. Gamma's sometimes scare me, making me think they're mad at me or something, Aisa doesn't project that. But neither does she project the "my talking is akin to wrapping you up in blankets" that @lemontrees has. She's a bit more cool and collected and...deliberate I think.

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    fuck, i'm not readin' all that...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    You don't resemble my experience with EIE's. I have not enouhg conscious experience to judge wether you're SEI, you are different from for example Lemontrees who seems to radiate more "sweet" energy but less while you radatie a more "sharper" energy and a lot of it. SEI? ESE? I don't know. I operate under the assumption that people's self typings are correct.
    yeah, given I haven't read here anything that'd convince me otherwise - I'm sticking with SEI.
    ESE - not a chance, not irl interaction, my Fe isn't visible, neither nor am I extroverted.
    Yeah, agreed Lemontrees exudes much sweeter energy, (@lemontrees I don't know your age, so correct me if I'm wrong) my guess is she's younger than me (I'd say early twenties) and (hopefully) hasn't been through some of the heartbreak, corporate mobbing and other shit I went through that made me 'toughen up'. She reminds me of myself around the age of 20-23 - I was told then things such as 'you're the sweetest person I know', 'nobody's that innocent', etc.

    Considering that ILE are considered the conmen from the socion it's an ideal coupling, we scam you and you let us walk all over you
    Oh, come on, you might think you scam us - we just sometimes don't let you know we see right through most of your scams for the fun of it. Noone knows my ILE the way I do (his words) and noone can see right through his scams the way I can, lol. (I mean the things his friends believe about him, lmao. ILEs put up a front that SEIs can see right through - and this is what makes it fun, it's a constant banter. You'd get bored to death if you were to be with a partner that buys into all your scams, face it )

    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    i don't understand why aisa would be seen as blatantly non-sei or even "sharp energy" at all
    ...and that makes perfect sense to me, cause assuming you're ESI like your description says - you're bound to see me as 'softer' rather than 'sharper'

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    Some gamma's have a much sharper engergy than she so, compared to that she's still sweet like. Gamma's sometimes scare me, making me think they're mad at me or something, Aisa doesn't project that. But neither does she project the "my talking is akin to wrapping you up in blankets" that lemontrees has. She's a bit more cool and collected and...deliberate I think.





    (I really did try to find a funny... couldn't.)

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